Literary confession thread

you're fine
i'm too stupid to read Infinite Jest

I pretended to read the Lord of the rings when I was little because I was in a competition with my brother. I didn't really get Moby Dick. I thought it was alright. I think this is because I have trouble appreciating prose rather than dialogue.

>competition with my brother
I read Slaughterhouse-five for the same reason and still have no idea what the book is about. I just remember the drawing of tits at the end.

infinite jest is my favorite pomo :(

I enjoy John Steinbeck's books

im sure youre both smart enough

no reason for sad face

seems like east of eden is universally loved, but i get it. he seems boring and Of Mice and Men seems trite

Stienbeck fucks me up

I'm torn between writing minimalist prose and reflective, sometimes flowery prose. Modern consensus is that the latter is unacceptable if I want to get an agent, but there'll always be a part of me that loves writing a purple passage.

Winter of Our Discontent is one of my favorite books.

There are a lot more books i would don't like than i like. Statistically speaking, I actually hate literature, reading etc.

fuckit

I ignore anything professors say because I'm an edgelord who can't process new ideas.

>t. /pol/ poster

i actually refute, or at least expand his argument to its possible consequences, the professor in front of the whole class

when I read liberal lit I feel like a liberal for a week and when I read conservative lit I feel like a conservative for a week.

This changing to what I read makes me feel like I'm a groundless piece of shit wishwasher who'll just adapt to whatever he reads. kill me

i don't read in public to hide my power level

>I read a lot of books just to be able to say I've read them.

>Joyce is amazing, but it's such a drag to read through is stuff.

>I've fapped to Anne Frank.

>I like cliché romance stories.

>I'm extremely pretentious and imagine that reading makes me an interesting person

any writing talent i have ever had is manifested from the theft of prose in a direct manner, without directly plagiarizing. I have no inner voice, so I must enshroud echoes with the trappings of originality.

Nicely put. Same here.

I buy most of my ebooks legally but when it comes to more rare books, I borrow them from the openlibrary and rip DRM from them because I can't afford or find paper editions.

Nothing wrong with "theft of prose". Everyone borrows from everyone else.

I couldn't get into Thus Spake Zaruthrustra.

I'm too dumb to read Ficciones, kek

I can't afford to buy ebooks legally anymore but I did get my ereader solely to read books I couldn't get at the library (libertarian writers, occult shit, Greek classics, Russian classics, untranslated French classics, old sci-fi and so on). On a related note, does anyone know if it's possible to encrypt some certain ereaders?

most english works prior to 1929 (greek, russian, etc) is available on gutenberg.org. For old scifi check out archive.org, baen free library, or wildsidepress.com/. wildside sells book bundles for 99 cents. You can probably afford to spend $1 per every couple of weeks on books.

Why would you want to encrypt an ereader? that doesn't make any sense

>I have no inner voice
This is a bit of a meme and often overplayed. Pretty much all the greats borrowed ideas from writers before them (in many cases unconsciously) and added something of their own to it. That's just how literature works.

are you for real or are you fishing for
>this should be a novel

>Why would you want to encrypt an ereader? that doesn't make any sense
I don't want people to know what I'm reading, there should be encrypt storage and make it so that a password is required when coming out of sleep mode. Why is this such a hard concept to understand?

*be a way to encrypt

What've you got on there, smutty gay cowboy westerns? Something more sinister?

you need a tablet then. Most ereaders are pretty simplistic and don't have a way to lock out users.

>I like to read

I genuinely think James Joyce is the best writer of all time

I only know one language.

yes

I can't stand reading large chunks of text unless it's on non-glossy paper or e-ink tho ;-;

I'm still really curious about what you want to hide, but whatever. It might help to know what kind of ereader you have. If it's a kindle, setting a passcode is as simple as going to Settings > Device Options > Device passcode

gay cowboy westerns, my parents are mormon and I can't afford to move.

i cant read

I almost never finish books or read at a snails pace because after a couple paragraphs my mind starts racing with writing ideas and I end up getting my laptop and jotting down a couple paragraphs

In honesty I enjoy writing a hell of a lot more then reading

O, sorry dude, religious parents are rough

I like Ayn Rand's novels for both their philosophy and literary merit.

i majored in stem and deeply regret it.

im a successful software engineer, but all i want to do is teach english literature at some shitty community college and work on novels. possibly homesteading on the side.

I read both and still dont have any opinions.
In discussions i always play devils advocate and I always forget to vote.
I really dont know what politic i am.

I consider anyone who claims reading is a hobby to be a retard.

Gravity's Rainbow is unreadable.

I don't read a fraction of how much I should, and I think DFW is right about why. Sitting in front of the computer and shitposting, watching Youtube videos and jerking off is easier and requires less of me.

Since the man died recently I've decided to read I believe second to last book written by le liquid man Bauman. The fact that I'm his compatriot, Pole, made me feel obligated to this task in a way. The book is titled "Strangers at Our Door" and as you might guess at least in theory Bauman delves into an issue of immigration crisis. Along the way however he changes subjects and goes on a rant berating philosophy as an academic discipline and trying to portray sociology as a perfect substitute of the former. His critique though is all over the place and adresses multiple points completly irrelevant to the merit or nature of philosophy itself. I was utterly disappointed, especially as it was my first book by the liquid fellow.

I voiced my concerns to my philosophy professor and he said (i kid you not), in private, that Bauman's books belong in a wastepaper bin. Anything you can recommend by Bauman that could change my view?

I used to love Dan Brown novels.

I think for how terribly they are written they are pretty entertaining and sometimes that's all that matters.

Dan Brown novels are well written the way corn syrup tastes good.

What is this from. Hitchcock? Please respond

What would be the point of reading if it wasn't entertaining?

There's a reason most of the people who are rich from writing don't write literary fiction, and that's because inaccessible to most people, and it's not interesting.

Harry Potter might not be the Odyssey in quality, but that obviously doesn't matter for most people.

I repeatedly read The Art of War because I like the way it makes me feel about myself. It's the only book I namedrop and I can't help myself. I am not entirely faking, I DO like the book, but I wish I could like it privately.

Have you read "The Book of Five Rings" or "Musashi"?

Nope. Uncultured swine here. Lots on my to-do list still. I was homeschooled which gave me a love for reading, but I missed out of some of the required reading early on. I read lots of books, just my own picks. I read C.S Lewis and Tolkien, some Chesterton, and even Mein Kampf (wtf mom?!) but I STILL haven't gotten around to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Only recently read Catcher in the Rye, which is just as well because it would have gone right over my head otherwise. So I am just now catching up on the required highschool reading list, which is a little embarrassing. I will put those two on my list immediately. Any other recommendations?

>Mein Kampf (wtf mom?!)

kek

I critique by quoting authors and works that I have never read outside of Wikipedia pages and Sparknotes.

I also argue against those who critique me by making fun of their taste in books/movies/music.

Sounds like most of Veeky Forums.

I can never read only one book, and end up carring around stacks of books and mags everywhere I go - terrified that I'll be stuck somewhere without the book I feel like reading, that very moment.

I went on a week's vacation (ten days, actually) recently, and took ~twenty books. I tried to hide them from my partner because I was embarrassed.... but he carries by suitcases, and knew instantly what was going on.
Confession: I ended up buying a new book - and never even cracking the other's I'd brought.

It's getting to be a problem. I keep upgrading to a bigger purse....

Don't call me a heretic, but it's time for a Kindle.
Seriously, I had the same problem, but now I'm carrying 5,000 books around in a case the size of a readers digest, it's wonderful. I still have my physical collection, but my Kindle is my doctors office lifesaver.
I love it so much I just bought a nook from goodwill so I can have access to Barnes and Noble's online bookshelf as well.
Amazon and B&N often do little sales on their e-reader copies, and Amazon will let you rent any book for free with prime once a month.
I know it has no pages to turn and doesn't have the book smell, but the instant dictionary and the sheer storage size make up for it.

...

...

Same as my mistake of reading McCarthy before Pynchon and reaching the same conclusion...

>It's why so many of them kill in the 20th century themselves
you okay user?

damn I wish i was such an intellectual titan.

>Don't call me a heretic
It's borderline heresy...

But I'd have to agree... something needs to be done. The harder I try to cull and only carry what I need, the larger my stacks grow. :\

I fucking hate Ulysses

>bores me to tears
Please tell me more about this feeling

I unironically read Jane Austen's novels.
And so far I'm always really enjoying them.

i have purchased a barnes and noble leatherbound classic

Haha you win!

Im on my way to being a software engineer, and am currently feeling what you are feeling.
My only comfort is that I choose to believe in the "grass is always greener" theory, and if I were stuck teaching I wouldnt be happy then either.

i am an english teacher and i love it but i'm pretty broke. trade-offs on everything, i suppose. go back to school if it means that much to you– no point in wasting your life doing something that doesn't make you happy.

I've made a chart containing books I haven't read.

F

I only read the speeches in Herodotus and Thucydides.
>inb4 the catalogue of ships is important

I read 7 pages of War and Peace in 30 minutes.
I just read summaries of books on Wikipedia and pretend I know about them.

Same. I hate reading, but I can't stop because I'm addicted to the wonder.

MADMAN

too stupid to read mrs dalloway

I've fapped to Sylvia Plath

muh nigs

It's been over a year since I last worked on my three novels.

It's taken me months to finish Catch 22 and I only got 50 pages left.
I just don't wanna rush it.

>I have bought The Divine Comedy Barnes and Nobles leatherbound classic
I-I'm sorry, I did not know.

I can't get through Moby Dick and I'm stuck at page 314 for 3 weeks now

no one can be THAT dumb
just read it slowly feggit

I love books that are dialogue heavy. Prose can get a bit slow at times.

I dislike stendhal, corny grandma bs, get real

Who here hasn't?

>confession
...where do you think we are?

- i've read fewer than 10 books in my life and most were kids books that i read in primary school
- my vocabulary is around 9000 words

I bronswe this board despite not having read a book since elementary school

What's stopping you? If you're browsing this board you clearly have some desire to read.