Tales from the Bookstore (or library)

Itt: we share notable bookstore experiences - green text is permissable

>killing time between exams in Waterstones
>pick up e.e cummings selected poetry and take a seat - the only seat to be seen
>delightful, I will purchase this book
>a gaggle of greasy nerds enter my vicinity
>I'm sure it's okay they must be on their way to the SF/fantasy section
>Lo! I am next to the manga section - good lord
>I am not prejudiced towards manga but these nerds are not selling the genre to me
>the leader has a mullet of lank spider web
>ah, that most rare of nerds - the black nerd. He is here and his blackness seems to place him in an echelon of nerdly prestige over his white comrades but below the grand leader
>the smell is overwhelming and the loud in-depth discussion is very distracting
>it starts to annoy me that they are next to what must be the complete works of Shakespeare and yet here they are getting boners from cartoon girls
>but it passes, Shakespeare is not for everyone
>and so too do they pass
>and it was good

Terribly mundane ending but that so often happens in real life - the story is more there to encourage others to share their own

Pic unrelated (ooo, sounds delish!) bcus posting from phone

>not getting boners from cartoon girls

are you gay?

Manga isn't genre, you nugget.

Movies aren't a genre, comic books aren't a genre.

In a sense all those things are genres insofar as they have features that are generic to them and are categories within the very broad spectrum of culture and entertainment

>am german-fag
>going to bookstore
>look for a book, they don't have it (something from Hegel)
>talk a little to the clerk, seems quite knowledgeable, get around to stirer, talk about how he used a pseudonym
>place an order, my name is Alexander Hamilton, he smirks, asks if it is also a pseudonym
>1 week later, go to pick up my book
>qt is the cashier, asks for my name
>tell her, she laughs, asks if it's a psydonym
> feel good cause i had a conversation with not totally braindead people
Shame i didn't talk to her tho, she was pretty cute, i am still in a relationship though, so i wouldn't flirt n shit.

All this body of text did was make me think you're a smug cunt.

How else would you categorise manga in its totality?

Sounds like you're a big nerd who likes manga

kys weeb faggot neet

A media form. Just with like film, literature, comic books, Et cetera.

Smug about what exactly?

Yeah, I mean c'mon, , I like mango too, but being a group of greasy, disgusting, unhygienic slobs is, well, disgusting.

Hmm seems like a pointless distinction. 'Media form' is a term so general anything involving the slightest semblance of communication falls under its umbrella; to say manga is a media form goes without saying and doesn't stop it being a genre

More to the point, why does something being a genre bother you? Not trying to bait, genuinely curious

This guy gets it - the only degree of superiority I felt or meant to express was one pertaining to not being a stinky greaseball

I worked in a Follett college bookstore. Any questions?

What's the stinkiest group of nerds you've ever had in
Did they like mango

It doesn't really. Genre is just something I think should be a little more specific. Like fantasy and Sci fi, rather than manga, seeing as it encompasses both those things.

It was the history majors. It was always the history majors. The English majors weren't much better. They were fat girls with dyed hair who would fucking rent Shakespeare and Chaucer because they didn't care enough to keep it.

Okay, I catch your meaning

I loved it, I want more

This happened probably almost a year ago now
>walk into downtown bookstore
>i think i bought a bound Aristophanes that time
>going to check out, pass a short african-american man buying CDs
>woman walks in with a pet snake wrapped around her neck like a scarf
>apparently knows the cashier, and we all comment on the snake
>black guy walks up to the counter and suddenly looks like he's shit his pants, scrambling back to the wall in a second flat
>AW HELL NO
>woman laughs and offers to let him pet the snake, I'm trying not to laugh my ass off

that was pretty good. Not much happens there though, I'm usually alone in the store

One other time
>holed up in the back of the store for a while looking for something
>walk to the front to check out
>this Colonel Sanders looking motherfucker is standing bowlegged at the door
>he's a head above everyone else wearing a white suit with a silver cane and a white fucking cowboy hat
>talking extremely loudly about Steve Ditko
>walk up next to him awkwardly
>he loudly praises me for my taste in literature
>walk away smiling and proud of myself for impressing the KFC guy
>never see him again

Read some Jiro Taniguchi or Yoshihiro Tatsumi then come back and say all manga fans are like that. You more than likely encountered faux nerds who only think they are heavily into anime and manga despite only liking shounen shit or big three books.

>Go into bookstore
>Lots of YA and magazines
>I laugh loudly
>"I bet these faggots didn't even start with the greeks" I say
>Everyone looks at me
>I go to the classics section
>There's harry potter
>A qt3.14 is reading one of the books
>"you're a pleb faggot, you know that right?"
>She gets confused and leaves
>I hatch an incredible idea
>I grab the first harry potter book
>No one is around
>I drop my pants and take a fat shit in the middle of the book
>I put it back in the box set
>I laugh loudly
>Mom and daughter see me with my pants still down
>I get kicked out
>Shitpost on Veeky Forums for the rest of the day

Pretty good day desu

Last time I went to the sci fi section I ended up having a long conversation about Le Guin with a QT and a sweet old lady.

Also
>implying the history section doesn't attract the sweatiness neckbeards.

kek

Explain the pseudonym-thing please?

>go to big chain bookstore
>pick up Mein Kampf, Lolita, and The God Delusion
>waiting in line for ages
>light up a stogie
>start loudly chatting up old ladies and families in line next to me
>thumb through the expensive knick-knacks next to the checkout, knocking several onto the floor, and repeatedly tell my fellow line-goers to “look at all this horseshit”
>complain that there are too few cashiers per customer, allege that this is the fault of “kikes”
>finally reach the checkout
>array the books so their covers are all facing up
>toss them onto the counter in a radial formation, all facing directly at the cashier, a slightly overweight girl in her early 20s
>she looks down at them and pauses, her jaw dropping in disbelief as the fuhrer himself stares back up at her
>blow smoke into her face and ask “some kind of problem, toots?”
>she coughs and nervously stutters the name of the book, as if to verify that someone could ever purchase it intentionally
>“yeah” I reply, before placing my index finger on the cover of Lolita, and leaning across to her side of the counter
>“and this one’s about a pedophile”
>her face is now wan with shock and horror
>“oh my god,” she mutters
>“God’s dead, honey”
>everyone around us goes dead silent
>pick up the books and leave without paying
>no one even calls security

> be me, 28yo butcher with highschool degree
> go to my usual bookstore after 11 hours of work
> bought books almost only there since 2005
> wait my turn
> old cashier see me "user! Hello, what do you want to buy?"
>me: "i need to order a copy of Ancient and
Modern Liberty Compared by benjamin constant"
> she "oh ok user, wait a minute"
> ten seconds after a guy comes in
>cashier (loudly): oh "guy"! i present you user, he is a genius! He reads such books that no one knows plus has read almost all the classics, do you remember X from 2 months ago? It was for him! you two Must talk together!
> me, red as a tomato, babbling, "nonono i read only for fun, nothing more i swear, just that some books take to others, nothing more." And others ramblings
Guy:"What classics do you like ?"
Me: "y-Y and Z"
At the end of the day guy was a teacher of philosopy he asked me more about my readings and if i was a student or something and promised me some phil book for free, when i "went/run" out of the bookstore i've also heard some wow from the little krown of costumers
> olafter 10 minutes wait

7/10 made me chuckle

This is autism at its finest

Are you drunk?

So own up, which one of you was the guy I had a lengthy conversation about DFW in Waterstones last month?

So, I went to the library and took a Bible from the religion section and- get this... it was in the religion section, right? Get this, I actually took it and, get this, I picked it right up from the religion section and- get this... get this right? I'm standing right there and I just pick it up, I'm in the library... get this... I take it, or pick it up rather, get this, get this, get this, so I just pick it right up from the religion section, and... get this, no seriously get this, I'm just in the library with a Bible and- and- get this... get this- picked it up... get this, the religion section- get this, get this, get this, get this get this get this get this... I pick it up and- get this, I put it in the fiction section.

delet this

lol! toasting in another epic sunhock bread! archive quick!

>See qtπ girl reading Infinite Jest at college
>Walk up to her
>"So you like DFW huh?"
>"Yes, he's brilliant!" she responds, clearly excited
>Decide to engage her in an intelligent literary discussion
>"Did you know that he killed himself because he hadn't any talent?"
>"E-excuse me?" (she is clearly impressed by my expertise)
>"He can't write, he can't think; there's no discernible talent"
>"Ooo-kay..." she says and turns back to her book
>I tear it from her hands and launch it across the room with all my strength
>"Why don't you read some real literature instead?"
>"What the hell!?"
>"I recommend Hemmingway. Now there's a man's man"
>"I don't like Hemingway!"
>"Hemmingway," I correct her. "It has two m's"
>She collects her book from where it lies three metres away and storms off, completely defeated by my insoluble logic
>I open my laptop
>That feel when no gf

I'm not going to read any of that, sorry. Are you reading what I wrote? Do we speak the same language? I never made any sweeping generalisations about manga fans, regardless of what my opinion about them might in fact be. How did you reach the conclusion that these were 'faux nerds' when it was literally a story about their hygiene. Bewildering. Also, if I were you, I wouldn't talk about your manga fanaticism in such a haughty manner, it's... unbecoming

OP approved green text

Had a hearty lel to this

>christmas time
>finished shopping for senpai/friends
>few bucks left over go peruse large chain bookstore
>come across Ulysses for 5$
>fuckit.jpeg
>cashier is that standard carbon copy of that "beta male" picture
>looks at my purchase
>"Oh nice Joyce yea he's the best!"
>proceeds to tell me the entire plot and structure of several chapters
>then tells me to read Finnegans Wake
>"its all a dream and a loop man its crazy"
>return Ulysses on boxing day


I don't know why he did that

Not that user, but Taniguchi is going to be legitimately good to a reader of literary fiction. Very intelligent stories and tasteful art. Recommending him isn't "manga fanaticism". (Not saying you _have_ to read him, of course.)
I'm not that familiar with manga overall, but I think he was just angered by the fact that the legitimately good artists are completely overshadowed by otaku garbage and its pathetic fans, such as the ones that you described.

>reading for plot
It's not his fault he didn't know he was talking to a pleb.

would you like the end of the a book ruined? It would ruin the experience if you know how it ends.

i personally dont give a le fuck

>be me, browsing the store
>other customers ask if i work there and/or if i could help them find something

This happens often. Not only on bookstores

You're such a faggot

>with relatives
>they want to go to mall
>nothing else to do, so I go with them
>go to bookstore
>look around for a bit, not finding what I want
>clerk comes up to me
"Can I help you find anything?"
>Looking for 'The Illuminatus! Trilogy' by Robert Shea
>he types in his clickety-clack employees only computer
"mmmm, sorry, doesn't look like we have it in store, I could order it for you and it'd be in within the week"
>no thanks, I'm only here a few days
"Anything else I can help you find?"
>I could go for a picture book
>'Wall and Piece' by Banksy
>clicketyClack.mp3
"mmmm, sorry, looks like we're out of that one too"
>Slighty annoyed, already finished my books for this trip
>'A Confederacy of Dunces', by Toole?
>clicketyClicketyClack.mp3
"mmmm, sorry man, zero for three. Anything else?"
>No, I might just look around
"Sorry about that. It might help if you didn't have such obscure taste"
>obscure taste
>obscure
>taste

Well, fucking sorry for not being into author/self-insert fiction, and I want to read more than two retards falling in love or solving a mystery or discovering 'how special and priceless life really is, and that's the true meaning of happiness'.

I wish I could tell you all that I punched his nu-male face in, breaking his stupid hipster glasses and torched the motivation/inspirational section of the store before I left. But I can't.

>just walked out of store.
>he probably thinks length=complex=good and brags about how often he's read George Martin and the Harry Potter series
>pic related: how he reads anything tougher than Stephen King

No offense, but you must look like you're dumb enough to only make minimum wage.

Only guy I ever mistakenly thought worked at a place looked big and fat and dumb as fuck and he was just sort of standing in the aisle like he wanted to look busy without actually doing anything. I just assumed he worked there.

I thought it was because i looked knowledgable/well read :'(

The most likely explanation is that you were dressed similarly to the employees. That's the only reason I've ever mistaken someone for an employee.

I like to slowly unveil my power level with the staff just to keep them in check

>"Are you looking for anything?"
>"Yes, please show me where you keep your Wallace"
>"Wallace? like David FOSTER Wallace? Whoa, cool, I thought you were gonna ask for that Steve Jobs biography or something. Yeah man, Infinite Jest's right over here.
>She hands me a copy of Infinite Jest
>her: "So you like Wallace huh, yeah me too, have you read Brief --"
>I hold up a single open hand while she is speaking, immediately silencing her, then turn to a random page in the book
>I smile quietly to myself as I read the entire page, occasionally snorting cryptically
>After finishing the page I close the book and hand it back to her, still smiling
>Me: "He's terrible, isn't he? Absolutely awful. Put that book back and please show me your Joyce"
>She puts back Infinite Jest with an alarmed look on her face, then takes me to the Joyce section of the librairie
>Her: "Joyce? Yeah I read part of Dubliners in my 400-level community college English class. Do you, uh, d-do you think he's good--"
>"Read this"
>I have shoved Finnegans Wake under her nose
>"Out loud"
>her: "ba...babba......bababadgharf....bababagargrfap--
>I rip the book out of her hands and stare directly into her eyes
>me: "Completely wrong, it's bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoor-denenthurnuk. bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoor-denenthurnuk is portmanteau of various thunder-related words from languages all across the globe; in this context it represents Eve's tragic fall to Satan and the subsequent collapse of Eden. It is perhaps the single most important, emotive, and creative word ever spoken in the entire history of human speech, literally transcending language, and you cannot even read it."
>I throw Finnegans Wake in her face and inform the store manager that he has hired an illiterate
>I leave the store with a copy of Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception under my coat, unpaid for

hell I laughed

Ill answer both questions, as i don't know what one you're reffering to.
A pseudonym is a false name under which one writes, if one doesn't want people to know who one is.
We were talking about pseudonyms, and my name sounds like one, as alexander hamilton was one of the grounding fathers of america (one of three), which the first laughed about because we just were talking about pseudonyms.
Thought more people would get the reference, i mean i thought people would know the grounding fathers.

Joking and memes aside, why do people ask for help in a bookstore? The authors are in alphabetical order, for fucking crying out loud.

>artemis fowl: the opal deception
got a laugh out off me

Except they fucking aren't

There are 2 good stores in my town. The first has a hardcover section, a softcover section, a section for every genre, a 'recommended books' section, a 'classics' section, etc. so if I want to find a book there are like 5 or 6 places it could be, OR the guy hid it under a pile of NatGeo magazines.
The SECOND store is run by an old couple and is a little better, but about 40% of their books are packed in boxes that they were too frail to unpack, and it used to be way more before I helped organize their shit due to not being sure whether they had something or not.

Both great, cheap stores but fuck me if it isnt hard to track something down

>about 40% of their books are packed in boxes that they were too frail to unpack

kek, its the same with my local bookstore. either that or they are stacked to the roof and you'll be crushed to death trying to get a book halfway down the pile