Anyone else have to deal with "grilling morons" this holiday weekend?

Anyone else have to deal with "grilling morons" this holiday weekend?

>uncle doesnt even buy 80/20 beef
>continues to push down the patties on the grill
>wont take help or advice

I ended up just leaving

Sounds like you should just enjoy time with family instead of being a spaz about your uncles cooking

While your uncle is an idiot, I agree with

It was just annoying and frustrating.

The point of a family gathering is to spend time with family, not to autistically focus on the food. Your family is ashamed of you.

>not getting 70/30

boo hoo.

You're fucking pathetic dude. I'll bet your family was so relieved when you left

Like everyone is saying, you should really just learn to enjoy being with your family. It's the little things man.

your uncle might have heart problems that he wasnt willing to mention. not that socializing with an autist was in his itinerary in the first place

Even if the person in charge of the grill is doing dumb shit, you shouldn't intervene. Two people with one grill is a recipe for disaster.
If you're autistic about grilling, be the grill man next time

Dude, just get drunk like everyone else and have fun. Take a few bites of his shit burger, fill up on sides and give the rest of the burger to the fucking dog. Have you really never familied?

Fuck my family I don't give a shit about them and they wouldn't give a shit about me if we weren't blood related

You must be 18 or older to use this website

I would have tried to get on the grill but it would have led to a physical altercation

God bless America

>Buy expensive steaks for holiday.
>Lump coal in my webber,the works,
>Season steaks simply, salt pepper garlic.
>Awold dad appears with a mystery shaker his "Chili head" buddy made.
>Tel him no and go set steaks on grill.
>Shove some cherry, apple wood on with the close the lid.
>Go wash my plate and see dad head towards back.
>Get to grill before his drunk ass and just i time to watch the raw wood catch flame and sear.
>Flip steaks and stand at the grill so nobody fucks with them.
>Poke one of the steaks.
>Hear an "Ewww why do you touch the Meat!?"

>sister in law goes all out and buys new york strips for us all
>cooks them all well done
>Tells me she doesnt know how to check how done they are
Difference is I didnt spaz out and ate it anyway because I dont have autism

You should have said you already ate and left

This happened yesterday and made me really upset, but oh well. The burgers were still good, and this only happen to one batch.
>be me, recently got good job and moved into an actual house rather then the shitty apartments I've always had
>decide to host a little barbecue with some friends from college and work
>haven't really hung out with anyone from job outside of office, so seems like it could be interesting and fun
>everyone is bringing food, but I'm in charge of all the meat
>did some homemade burgers
>everyone is in backyard drinking, I'm grilling the burgers but run inside to get some cheese
>come back out to one of my coworkers standing over the grill smashing the burgers down with the spatula
>walk up behind him and don't want to seem autistic and push him out of the way
>juice runs out of burgers and flares up the grilll
>he backs away and looks at me
>"haha oh I was just keeping an eye on those for you"
>just say thanks

That asshole

>doesn't have cheese at his grill ready to be used at the proper time

Dude, mise en place.

>friends are having a party
>user we're having burgers
>ok want me to bring shrimp skewers
>nobody likes shrimp user by the way we don't have a grill so we're going to bake hamburgers
>oh uh I have a George Forman grill
>nah we good
>think this sounds like an awful idea but I'm going anyway because I am a good friend

Am I going to be eating meatballs?

Nobody likes shrimp? Do you like always offer to bring shrimp skewers or something lmao?

My friends made some really great ribs and burgers this weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to grill some shrimp or maybe grab some kabobs.

Nah - not really - they said they were like tiny bumpy segmented dicks

>not getting 30/80 for 110% flavour

>80/20 beef
What is this?

Pushing down on patties does nothing to impact how "juicy" the end result is
It affects how wide each patty is.
Nothing more

80% meat 20% fat content. Makes pretty tasty burgs, desu.

pattie pusher spotted

why are you here?

I feel sorry for your family having your autistic as fuck ass as a member.

>tfw both my parents were chefs
>always hold parties at their house
>never have to worry about this shit
feels good man

then why are you going to their cookout? just don't go.
>my parents are making me
just refuse. if you literally physically can't get out of a family bbq then you have way bigger problems than dry hamburgers and you should probably start formulating an escape plan.

>It was just annoying and frustrating.
you said you just left. you're a child

To learn nigger

>"For the last time user nobody wants your fucking shrimp, stop buying it if you're not going to eat it yourself."

Where do you buy beef that says this?

Literally any grocery store [spoiler]if you live in america[/spoiler]
It's almost always on the nutrition sticker, they usually have several different ratios.

You could take the Chef Step approach and sous vide your burgers, and cut out the barbarianism.

Every grocery store in my area carries 80/20 beef, and any store with a "meat department" can make it if you ask.

But you want a flare for a good char

google.com

You are my google

You are a humongous faggot. So what that your uncle is a shit cook, it's not even about that. Be a pretentious ass hole on your own time and appreciate the good things you probably don't deserve, selfish fuck.

...

dont listen to these guys, you did the right thing. your uncle sounds like a fag.

wow how do you live?

He is, and he would have got defensive if I would have taken over the grill and it probably would have led to a fight.

>led to a fight

Do you think you could have taken that oldfuck, or maybe even a 50 something guy would have pinned you to the ground and had you screaming for mercy?

found the french 3rd worlder

I would have fucked him up

You are pathetic, you should be grateful that they even invited you to the cookout.
Go take your angst and shove it up your ass.

Try having a vegan family.
>No burgers
>Everything is tofu and curry
>They invite people who cant even speak English
>Even the immigrants are like "Where is meat?"

Not buying tenderloin and grinding your own burgers.

>Doesn't kick over grill and run away screaming. 0/10.

That sounds depressing

I'm laughing way too hard at this.

>vegans

worst memorial day ever

>friend throws backyard get together
>grill is over fire pit at edge of patio where everyone is sitting
>friend insists on making wood fire, and grilling everything in small batches, so fire has to be kept going for a couple hours
>no chimney on fire pit so smoke everywhere in yard with no place to escape
>food ends up being great (good smoky flavor), but guests end up smoked as well

You couldn't even escape the smoke by going into the house because he left the windows and the screen door open, and the smoke blew in there as well. Not gonna argue with the results, but the campfire method was a bit much in a suburban back yard.

>>They invite people who cant even speak English
>memorial day weekend

fucking disgusting

>paying extra for edgy bone

I'm not sure about baking burgers, but they're really easy to pan-fry.

The butcher.

You are a bad person and should feel sad about it.

How so? Incompetence irks me

I posted this earlier, but this is about 1/8" thick and tasted like a hotdog. It's surely meat product purée that's been extruded in this shape, so I guess it's basically the same thing.

Came to my moms cookout hoping for a nice burger.

Is this you, you giant faggot?

I feel you man. Just learn to roll with it and go back to your tism cave to recoup.

>Friend comes to the house saying he just had his first fishing trip and wants to celebrate.
>k
>Fires up grill and sloped a pretty nice trout on it.
>Didn't use foil but will forgive him.
>Fish seems to be bloating.
>Look closer, notice something wrong.
>This dumb morfucker didn't clean the fi-
>It explores all over

>cookout with no grill
>want a grill?
>>nah we good
Clearly they're idiots.

Is that a fucking grenade

>It explores all over
Did it find anything?

What?

How did your parents even reproduce when your dad is obviously too much of a faggot to have sex with a woman? Surrogate mother?

>when Mohammed asks where the halal beef is

is it wrong to cook a burger to well done? Am I missing out on something? What do you lads recommend for burgers, how cooked it should be I mean.

That poor fish didn't deserve that bad ending.

What did it find? A new continent? A new planet?

>b me
>memorial day 2017
>make pulled pork over the previous 48 hours
>invite neighborhood to pool party
>"thanks for coming, food and drinks are over here! Help yourselves!"
>"oh user, we don't dine on swine"

Fucking there goes the neighborhood. Now I have to fucking move again to an even richer, whiter, part of town. Fucking bullshit.

user, how can you get this upset about fucking burger?
Jesus, it's a shit sandwich anyw
Am I being trolled?
This is a shitty ruse isn't it...you almost got me OP.
You almost got me

I had a similar experience when I went to hang out with my friend. He wanted to grill up some food so I said OK.

>hes dieting so he decides to buy meme lean beef
>but for some reason buys butter infused hamburger buns that are like 500 cals each
>ok.jpg
>flips the burgers like 100 times
>pushing down on the patty constantly with the spatula
>cuts into it half way through to see how much it has cooked
>absolutely convinced that any sign of pink in the middle is dangerous and wrong

god i fucking hate some people. never grilling with him again

No, you retard. You call your senpai weeks ahead, and say "hey, I'll bring some good meats, you pitch in some other meats you'd like, and I'll be happy to grill it all up" like a civilized person.

What you DON'T do is show up and try to tackle your uncle because his grilling skills are unrefined due to old and obsolete habits.

How autistic are you?

>we don't dine on swine

probably Jews

Idk I'm not Jewish but I don't really care for pork. The textures are usually weird.

Fucking backwards ass Jews following hygiene laws written by slaves lost in the desert 5000 years ago.

>uncle will grill anything until it's bone dry
>gets the bbq sauce
>DILUTES IT WITH A SHIT TON OF WATER
>then smears this barely sweet water mixture onto the meat
>tastes like shit
>nobody in his family knows how to cook so they don't care

cook one your way smashing the juices out and cook another 4 mins each side quarter turned every 2 mins and tell me there's no difference

Grilled corn and hot dogs over a chimney starter because we don't have a real grill, but also I didn't know you couldn't put it on asphalt so now we have a cigarette burn on the driveway. At least it didn't melt or explode, didn't have it burning for long anyway. It was a comfy time

white people amirite

It was a mixed race couple, I got the feeling they were just health nuts, and maybe vegetarian/vegan. Their kids had never had nacho dorritos before... You should have seen their little faces light up when I expanded their horizons.

>mfw I realized my pulled pork was probably 100 times healthier than the dorritos their mom let them eat

>I ended up just leaving
and sat right back down at the kids table

nothing wrong with it but medium burgers are better in my opinion

The fact that you don't seem to understand how autistic you are is the most incompetent thing I've seen all day.

>Spend time with family
>Food is great
>Conversation is great
>Everybody has a good time

vs

>Spend time with family
>Food is dogshit
>Puts everybody in a bad mood because now they're just hungry
>Guy who cooked it is offended nobody likes it
>Shit time

just ask to be the cook next time, don't have an autism attack about your uncle's inability to cook decently.

I like lean 90/10 beef for burgers because I put cheese and mayo on them, along with the veg. I kind of like when they dry out a bit and get crispy.

Whenever I get 80/20 ground beef the burgers are bland as fuck.
What are cheap cuts of beef I can use to make burgers that are better tasting than cheap super market ground beef?

LMFAO

Kek what the fuck?