Good morning, user. How about I prepare us a nice vegan breakfast?

>good morning, user. How about I prepare us a nice vegan breakfast?
What do?

Untie the ribbon

Eat the vegan breakfast because im happy someone is finally giving me a shred of attention

run
because anytime women do something nice for you. they ask for something in return

>how about i choke you with my thorbing member?

I'd be pretty weirded out that a paid prostitute would do that for me and ask if she'll charge me for the cooking

Press her power button and go make some bacon, eggs, and sausage.

fucking nostalgia man.

prepare the eggs

That would be nice love, I do need to eat less meat.

DELET THIS

sauce?

no thanks, i dont eat my eggs with ketchup

>What restaurant are you taking me to tonight, hotshot?

Mc Donalds. It's the only place that will accept ur trashy clothes. Now give me a BJ and maybe I'll pay for ur mc chicken

I cringed

me 2

Kill the messenger because vegan is a top real world meme

>hotshot
The best part of these posts is how weird and fucked up they presume real women talk

Ah indeed. I only know how fake women talk. Link me your tumblr so I can find out more about things that are already known?

are you literally from India

you type like a retard

You must not know how anybody talks, actually.

ESL sperg.

You don't have to be mad that you've never listened to an actual girl speak in person

Yikes, I've started a shitstorm with my tumblrspotting. Hello there!

>he doesn't use hyperbole and satire in his shitposting
Laughing at you honestly

>user we're out of milk. What are you going to do about it?

I'll [spoiler]go buy some more,, i'm not a lazy shit[/spoiler]

I'm gonna [spoiler]Buy some more. I'm not a lazy shit[/spoiler]

...

>looks down at her chest
>"i don't think that's gonna be a problem"

Only fatties and day laborers eat before lunch.

You're about 13-16 years old based off your taste in girls OP.

Sup

>those dry as fuck overcooked eggs

she looks terrible

No.

I think breakfast would be the easiest meal for a vegan to pull off, so a pretty bad shitpost.

Those are some amazing lips.

>posting attractive women is shitposting

It's vegetarian. Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory. Now I thought I told you to stop reading those feminist blogs, they'll rot your brain. I will be making breakfast today while you are going to read me some Thomas Paine.

eat some tasty veagan whatever and go for some morning sex, then shower and pour some tea while we wait for her uber/lyft.

Enjoy some toast with jam and coffee I guess?
Idk, I usually eat something like eggs or dairy in my breakfast.

Hey slutface! Where's my Dunkaccino?

>not having the robot make breakfast...

>Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory
you almost got me too until i read further.

God bless lip injections

>Vegan breakfast? Weren't you choking down meat last night like it was going out of style?

Who are you? How do you know my name? What are you doing in my apartment?

One could make this an amazing meme by shopping in a certain gay blowjob outside the window.

fpbp

>vegan = Marxism

I'm no vegan, but son you done fucked up. Marxism is about the people producing goods and services controling their production and being rewarded for their effort.

Were you home schooled by evangelical parents?

>fpbp

>It's vegetarian. Vegan is a political ideology, one of the branches of marxist critical theory

ayo dis nigga retarded

>>good morning, user. How about I prepare us a nice vegan breakfast?
>What do?

Then throw the filthy hippy out of my house.

Turn 360° and moonwalk away

you never see this gold or something

>"user, be a dear and fix up some dinner while I finish up this energy drink review"
What do?

Cool. You've made vegan menemen before, right? I'll get up in a few minutes.

is cum vegan?

Nice

>all these attempts at "humor"
>faggot that got called out for not knowing how women speak is the funniest thing ITT

Never change Veeky Forums

Fuck her silly and skip breakfast

Fruit, granola, veggie and almond milk smoothie? Yes, please.

Obviously anyone on Veeky Forums not utterly retarded or not into women would accept. You're lying to yourself to appease the ironic, backward-ass sense of reality held by a bunch of anonymous shot posters if you manage to convince yourself otherwise.

...

...

make vegan gluten free meatbread.

You're way too cynical and jaded, friend. Lighten up. Take a look in the mirror.

His daughter is 30yo now and he's worth 150mil. Great outcome to his lifes work considering the circumstances of his childhood.

>I was up all night with diarrhea and I'm going back to bed. Your money's on the table. Go home.

chug 3 cans of Orange Zevia and then nut on her face

>My usual breakfast is a bowl of Rice Krispies with almond milk

So, accept her offer?

Internal kek

That's fine, i just want toast with peanut butter anyway.

Jim Carrey?

Eat her meat.

these fucking re-Pepe faces get me every fucking time man