If John Green were doing a Q&A in front of a live audience, and you could attend, what would you ask him...

If John Green were doing a Q&A in front of a live audience, and you could attend, what would you ask him? The questions would be written in advance and chosen at random, so whatever your question is, he might have to read it and answer it.

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youtube.com/watch?v=5_9f-4Koivc
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Did you have a child fetish before or after you started writing YA?

Do you like to put cereal on your dick before you fuck your underage fans?

why do you have such a shit hair cut?

His fans (Nerdfighters) literally call it "the puff".

i was happier not knowing about this

How is cancer a side effect of dying?

I'd hit him in the chest with a javelin while he takes a question out of the hat.

why is Veeky Forums so obsessed with you?

'Which one are you again? I can't tell you two apart'

How many cheerios is too much?

What shitty creation of yours are you more ashamed of? Your shitty books or your shitty youtube channel?

How does it feel to know that you are disliked by a bunch of autistic virginal 20 somethings on an obscure nazi throat-singing internet discussion board?

who would win in a fair fight : a rhinoceros or a hippopotamus?

Is your shit prose a form of condescension to your young readers, or are you just a shit writer?

I like this question. This is a good question.

*Stands up*
"John! Hey John! Why don't you write a book about the young girl who killed herself because you had her love for one night and couldn't return it?
*Begins removing suitcoat*
"I'll see you out in the parking lot!"

what is your favorite color?

Lol

it's been five years, Veeky Forums, what if he never writes another novel? ;_;

I'd do this:

youtube.com/watch?v=5_9f-4Koivc

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"Would you rather have an untouched bowl of cereal, or one that several men had ejaculated in?"

Can I have sex with you senpai?

He said it took him 10 years to write the fault in our stars. Give it time, user

IT TOOK 10 YEARS TO WRITE

Wrong book. Here's a Fault in our Stars excerpt.

>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

what did he mean by this??

Add the seinfeld version plox

I would also like to read a version of this excerpt reminiscent of Seinfeld.

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Many a thank

Stop posting meme threads.

Stop posting politics threads.

Stop posting John Green threads.

Fuck off

Tell me more, user

I'd like to continue, but this is the point where they usually ask me to leave the reading. Anything further from me would be speculative fiction.

lol grown-ups are so stupid with their rules xDdxD

How hard is it to write with one hand?

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