Does romantic love exist, Veeky Forums?

It depends on what you define as "romantic love", if you mean endless love from both sides, then no, it does not. Nothing is without a flaw, OP. Especially "love", a word that the meaning differs for every person you ask.

I don't mean perfect love, I mean does the type of shit you see in romantic comedies (even the ones that try deliberately to subvert this) exist. Where you can have transcendent emotional intimacy with a woman without it being purely hedonistic.

yes it exists, but all the shit that comes with it probably makes it not worth it.
>inb4 this is just your subjective experience
nah, I think it's pretty objectively true that people tend to be pretty shitty

What shit comes with it?

not anymore

How come?

Yeah, that you could have, for some years at best, then she would become bored and take off.

it's no longer a prerequisite to get what you everyone wanted from a relationship, you can just skip straight to sex or good-feelings.

The changing culture in the west made it obsolete.

Are you saying that as a flaw in women or in humanity in general?

I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you mean in that first bit.

It can exist for a time. It isn't permanent, it's flaws are inherent in it's structure. Some people just have more capacity for it than others.

>Some people just have more capacity for it than others.

Capacity at doing what? Just being attractive or socially endowed?

Yes.

Calling something a spook is just a way to run away from it.

So you mean there is no need for "falling in love" and we in the west have relationships in a more utilitarian way?

Yes

see

Humanity in general.

In today's society, i don't think any one could adapt to a life style like that one, and get fully invested, especially with the fact some people can have bad past experiences, so they wouldn't trust each other to the point it would surpass hedonism.

Unless you're chasing 10 year olds who never had love expectations and/or dutch farm girls, i don't think "romantic love" would be a reality for anyone.

I know this is just ironic memeing, but what's an example of something that isn't a spook?

hedonism

Romantic Love doesby exist, that's why it's in fiction , because real relationships are much more nuanced and a little more boring. I'd say it's similar to any other human relationship, but I've been so inundated with media saying "this is what love is, and you need it" that I'm willing to forego all reason to achieve it.

>it's

Sorry, virgin.

Yes, but it can only be felt by men and homely women.

In the west it is just about non-existent now. Globalism and the internet have accelerated and increased competitiveness to such a rapid extent that it is nearly impossible to not be a pure utilitarian without becoming depressed due to your pathetic life (since you'll get fucking nowhere if you aren't).

Everything sweet and romantic like childhood loves, finding your destined "match" or starting a loving family is kind of out the window at this point. Aside from rural areas which aren't yet in the loop (but will be soon) everyone is fully aware, thanks to globalism and the internet, that 1) they don't have the BEST yet, and 2) there are millions of people who have BETTER. The way the job market works now, and how western culture works, you need to have a highly practical, utilitarian mindset to get by.

It's arguable that it may have always been like this though and we've just gotten more sensitive and irrational thanks to all the entertainment we have to absorb now. It's always been a dog eat dog world.

Which is why I will be single until the day I die. I can't handle that. The thought of economizing love because you want to feel better than someone else sickens me, and I am very suspicious of everyone thinking this way now.

You're thinking way too hard about this. If you meet someone you love, and are happy being with them, then that's all that matters.

So we're trapped by either dropping out or playing the game? Couldn't we argue that finding a mate is the same as it was 50 years ago? Yeah, we have tinder, but we also have increased competition, so we ran just to stay in place.
Aren't we just the same people that existed 100 years ago? I don't think(or don't want to believe) that somehow were the first culture to discover a new dating world.

>Define spook
you

My inner monologue is pretty bad about most things. Best not to take me TOO seriously... although I think people like me are an indication that there's some truth to it, otherwise I wouldn't have such a strong opinion about the situation.

Like I said I think we've just gotten more sensitive. Some of us at least. All this entertainment doesn't desensitize, it does the opposite.

Why does Globalism contribute to the reduction of love?

>starting a loving family is out the window
Wat? Man we have more ability to do this now than in any other point in history.

You don't have to answer this, but : When's the last time you did something Romantic with another? I ask this because I feel the same hopelessness whenever I've been removed from it. I think there's just a difference between reality and our ideals of love. Also, it's kinda low hanging fruit for storytellers since it seems impossible for so many (Most men don't get what they want, and chicks get pumped and dumped).

But this relates back to how another poster mentioned the Red Queen argument that we have all these advancements to only stay merely relevant.

If anything the death of romantic notions should improve relationships.
Let me give you an example, I had a gf, I thought it was pretty great, after a few months she tells me she wants to go traveling and "find herself". Up to that point I thought she was reasonably intelligent but this one little romantic myth of "finding herself" meant she had to sabotage a perfectly good thing.

Love exists but she wasn't the girl for you.

You mean desperately settling when you know she isn't what you want and she knows she isn't what you want? Sure it does.

it's just le chemicals bro

How is it even possible to still be a virgin in your 20's?
Don't you ever leave your house?

No, it is all a lie user - all a lie.

I was with my crew in a sinking ship, which was in the middle of a storm, while I was writing poetry about it with my best mate as I fucked my dead ex-wife's sister in the meantime

ciabatta?

Yea. But its not a permanent thing. It slowly dissolves and what is left is comfort and idleness. You get complacent and refuse to admit.that you are now in a dead end relationship.