What am I in for?

What am I in for?

i couldn't get past all the gay singing shit with tom bombadil

You're in for a slow, yet wonderful, ride. It's a world where you're free as a bird, where men are expected to be morally upright and mature, and where danger is only as threatening as the amount of space left between yourself and a knife. If you're going fro an audiobook or one of the radio plays, be careful- they change sequences and events. Go for the original book.

Gay midgets go for a hike. You will read the slavishly detailed description of trees for a several hundred pages.

Catholicism written into a fantasy book.

Read it.

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its long but really worth it if you can suspend belief and get into the lore. I really enjoyed it.

grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass forests mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains moons rivers trees blue grass mountains rivers grass mountains caves rivers grass mountains rivers grass green mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass purple mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains forests rivers elves grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains green rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains forests rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers gnomes grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass blue mountains rivers caves grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers grass mountains rivers forests

Songs

Tolkien was one of a kind and the human race will never see his likes again
Enjoy it, user
For the love of god enjoy it

this post changed my life.
thank you, 9019155.

may our paths cross again user

The ultimate classic of fantasy literature.

Tolkien's historically comprehensive mastery of the English language (and creation of secondary languages) is what elevates the already great story to masterpiece status. Every single name, every single word, is perfectly chosen, ranging from jolly and carefree, to ancient and inhuman, to stern and tragic, to bestial and utterly enslaved to evil.

The tropes are so different from what you see today. He's not afraid to do a straight-up good versus evil story, which is itself refreshing, and yet the characters are constantly tempted to stray, and both sides of the war have complex elements. Yeah he was a conservative but the humanist themes of natural beauty, lost grandeur, courage and virtue are (or ought to be) universal.

Meanwhile, unlike most of today's fantasy fiction, there's no overly edgy characters, "cool" violence for its own sake, forced drama and cheap plot twists, too-stupid-to-live characters, grimdark rapey bullshit, virtue-signaling social justice messages, annoying and whorish GRRL POWER characters (though features several noble, strong, elegant women), BS apostrophe-loaded names, or wish-fulfillment superpowers.

The book is fully committed to its own world -- the routes, the maps, the languages, the etymologies, the dates, the moon phases, the monsters, the troop movements, are all worked out rigorously. Much of this is done behind the scenes but you constantly see it peeking through and it creates the atmosphere of a real world that is romantic in the most traditional sense.

My one caveat is that the books start great and get a little looser/sketchier as they continue. This is due to Tolkien's composition process of repeatedly rewriting the entire thing if he got stuck anywhere. As a result the first chapters are more polished than the last, not stylistically exactly, but in terms of vivid descriptions and well-realized scenes -- it gets sketchier as it continues.

Get ready for one of the cosiest literary experiences you can have in English.

You're in for a story about a bunch of boys being stranded on an island who start killing pigs and each other before being eventually rescued. Basically its about British supremacy and the benefits of colonialism.

Good post. Thank you for writing it.

Why do I get the vibes from reading the book, while reading this post.

thx user, that was very interesting

Unironic autism

Read The Hobbit first.

>though features several noble, strong, elegant women

Who have all of maybe five lines throughout the entire series...

I'm referring to Galadriel and Eowyn bro, there is the whole mirror scene, and the subplot where Merry and Eowyn travel together and slay the Witch-King

>several
>Names two

Ho kay.

Let's be real her. Tolkien was a product of his age and just as sexist as anyone else in his era. Females in his books are regulated to the background only taking on minor parts of importance but still nothing but window dressing while the men save the day.

>tfw caves

best bit

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Galadriel is literally the most powerful being in Middle Earth during the war of the ring. You're wrong, also retarded. In fact one of the greatest feats within the entire mythos, the recovering of the Silmaril from Morgoth's crown, is almost entirely accomplished by Luthien. Your ignorance of the story says nothing about the actual world of Middle Earth, and everything about your readiness, even eagerness to see some sort of gender victimization angle. Kill yourself.

...

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>Who have all of maybe five lines throughout the entire series...
>t. never actually read TLotR
It's told from the perspective of the Hobbits, the amount of lines anyone has is relative to the experiences of Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo. That being said, Eowyn has a significant amount of dialogue having actually interacted with Merry. In general the women of TLotR are some of the most characters to the structure of the plot, you can say Gimli and Legolas are main characters but they're certainly not important and barely have any lines themselves.

most important*

Besides those two, Yavanna created basically everything alive.
Also Erendis has a monologue on pretty much exactly what you're saying.

I don't get it, where do the rings come into play????????????????????

Olde timey country buttsecks. Bromance of the highest order. Vegans. Jewelry. Ye olde faggotry.

foliage

Game of Thrones Lite

Just read Dune

not hardly.

>He's not afraid to do a straight-up good versus evil story, which is itself refreshing

This was fantasy fiction from the '40s. It was mostly all like this. How is it refreshing? He wasn't doing anything new in establishing a conflict between traditionally "good" and "evil" forces. You can call him a good writer and a creative storyteller but he wasn't original in having a conflict of good vs evil. Modern writers are original in straying away from this age-old narrative, which Tolkien also used. (Note: It's not necessarily a good thing that modern fantasy is amoral, rapey, ultra realistic, grim, etc. I'm just noting that it's more original than Tolkien's work, which has parallels with previous fantasy like Beowulf or The Odyssey).

Why can't the eagles be trusted with the ring?

thats the silmarillion

that's THE best part tho???