Google how to make scrambled eggs

jesus fuck what's the matter with you

It's entirely pointless as they should be moving in the pain all the time anyway, and you do run the risk of over beating them.

heat pan, put some butter or a little oil in it
crack two eggs in
scramble that shit arround untill is cooked
salt
done

>he doesn't add sliced hot dog

Fucking plebs

>he thinks a hotdog is a type of sausage
Shame on you all.

>no pepper

Your double dubs are slander.

That's so funny you should post that pic. My name is Roger

And quit watching so much Ramsay

>be op
>made scrambled eggs by following
>tasted disgusting
>feel like puking

I want to buy a gun and kill myself

As you said, there are hundreds of different recipes, so I can just give you some nice piece of advice.
You don't need milk or cream or anything like that. When you cook them and you think "I guess I'll leave it on for another 15 seconds", that's when you take them off the heat, then place them on your plate.
To make them even creamier, I like to whisk them in a deep plate, so that I have a bit raw egg left in it when i pour most of it on the pan. That way, when I pour the scrambled eggs into the plate I get to coat them in the raw egg which cooks just a little bit, enough to make it flavorful and creamy as fuck.

PAN NICE AND HOT
KNOB OF BUTTAH
OFF THE HEAT ON THE HEAT
CREME FRAICHE

youtube.com/watch?v=s10etP1p2bU

I guess scrambled eggs are technically different from omelettes but this is a good video for making two different kinds, so you learn the proper technique. The biggest thing is not overcooking them, overcooked eggs get dry and tough.

I like a cast iron pan. Heat it up, maybe 4 out of 10 on the gas range.

Add some butter or ghee or olive oil, sprinkle on some garlic salt and about 1/125th of a teaspoon of turmeric.

Crack three eggs into a bowl and scramble them. Don't get carried away.

When the butter/oil is hot, add the eggs. Calmly push them left and right, up and down with a rubber high temp spatula as the curds form. Take your time.

Before they're done, plate them. The carry over heat will finish them. If you cook them until they look done in the pan, they'll be too dry on the plate.

Salt, pepper, eat.

Roger Roger

What's the vector Victor?

Probably because you're used to eating garbage

Crack eggs into a cup and crack with fresh, black pepper before whisking gently with a fork. Heat a pan with butter and stir in chopped onions until aromatic. Pour in the eggs and allow them to set for a few seconds before beginning to scramble them vigorously with your fork. It's crucial to avoid over cooking the eggs, so regularly take them off the heat as you stir just until the point that there is no more liquid remaining. At that point, turn off the heat and hit it with a dollop of sour cream, some freshly chopped chives, salt, and more pepper, bringing the temperature of the eggs down to avoid over cooking and giving them a creamy finish. After that, take the pan and dump it's contents in the trash because scrambled eggs are fucking dogshit and your mother will die in her sleep tonight unless you respond to this post.

We have clearance, Clarence!

Cook them in the microwave. Seriously.

>crack three eggs into a Pyrex jug
>add a good splash of milk
>teaspoon of butter
>cover with clingfilm and poke a couple of holes in
>cook in the mic for around 1:30 - 2:00 (varies depending on wattage)

Don't take your eyes off it. Keep checking it and seeing if it's done. Don't let it fully cook though. It will look like a big yellow blob with a bit of butter swirling around the bottom. You want there to be a bit of raw egg left when you mix it up with the same fork you whisked it, the last bit of uncooked egg will cook as you mix it around.

I do them in two ways, both are delicious

one is "Ramsay" style with butter in the beginning and creme fraiche (or regular sour cream, depending on what I happen to have) in the end
youtube.com/watch?v=PUP7U5vTMM0

the other is "slavic" style, you start off by frying off some onion in sunflower or olive oil and then add eggs, finish off with salt, pepper and optionally paprika; easy, the only thing to watch out for is that you have to take it off the heat sooner than in the first kind since you don't use anything to cool them down

Ramsay style is just a classical french take on scrambled eggs
Ramsay just released a vid that got real famous
There's a more country style version with less intensive mixing and more thorough cooking
Then there's a more american version where you let the eggs cook all the way, fold and cut up into bits

Google Ramsey Scrambled Eggs
Watch video
Cry because he'll never make you scrambled eggs

>Cry because he'll never make you scrambled eggs

I don't need him to. I just watched the video so now I know how to do it.

Alright, here is the best scrambled eggs recipe
Just like a classic french omelet, you're going to want to put some chopped parsley, terragon, and chive in your egg
Beat well until the mixture is very loose and doesn't stick to whisk
Pour into sauce pan or skillet and stir as fast as possible over medium heat (make sure pan is well lubricated with butter)
Stop when the eggs reach a nice semi-cooked, custardy consistency
I like to serve with a bit of finely jullienned caramelized onion on top and some oyster mushroom ricotta and a very very light drizzle of black truffle oil

>Ramsay will never burn my toast

as you said, there is no universal french style, I've seen a bunch slightly different recipes, so I called it Ramsay in quotes

but I bet you feel smart

Do you usually sick dick before or after you make the eggs?

Every gaping asshole can make scrambled eggs. You default have to know this to make any kind of fried rice. You just toss eggs into a hot pan of oil ready to cook.

I do feel smart you fucking fucking cuck
How does it feel to be a stupid unintelligent inferior lifeform? You fucking subhuman scum. I've cooked in more kitchens than you've had hot meals and have more mitchelin stars on my belt than loads your mom directly took into her mouth.
Wanna fucking have a cook off bro, meet me any time any where. I'll show you how a true man cooks an egg. I bet the only eggs you ever cooked were the ones inside your mom's uterus when your "dad's" bull nutted inside her during one of his cuck sessions.
Let me tell you something kid: I don't like it when stupid shits like you talk down to a big man like me, so lets get some things cleared out.
1. You can't cook for shit
2. Your "girlfriend" is regularly taking dick on the side
3. Youre the kindof kid who I let into one of my 10 kitchens world wide in exchange for sucking my dick on tape
You're nothing, punk. Enjoy shitposting on Veeky Forums for the rest of you're life while I sit in my penthouse with your mom and my other 50 whores that come exclusively to have just a small chance at grinding on my dick.

wifey material

>eat eggs
>eggs bad
>life ruined
>time to die

Hey go back to /b bud and take your Ritalin

I aldeay took 7 reitalins and raink a bottl eof vokda before potsing yo ufucxking fagggt

You have to eat all the eggs.

JUST
AY
DRIZOFOLIVOL

>Pour whisked eggs into a medium hot pan
>Move it around until it looks about right
>Take note of how it tasted
>See how other people do it and try to emulate them
>Slowly learn that there is no best way to do things and that everyone has different tastes which affects the way they cook things and all you can do is practice and understand how changing techniques/ingredients affects the final product.
>Wow cooking is easy remember that one time when I asked Veeky Forums how to make scrambled eggs.

melt butter in pan, enough to coat the surface

crack open 3 eggs in the pan

stir with a spatula that won't fuck your pan up (plastic or wooden spatula)

put the stove on high

continue to stir while adding some salt and pepper

remove eggs when they're fully solidified but still have a little bit of liquid sheen on them

consume after couple seconds of cooling

Why do you want to clean more dishes?

ON THE HEAT
OFF THE HEAT

this.

Doesn't hurt to start with creamy Gordon Ramsey eggs and even I have to admit Jamie Oliver's omelete technique is acceptable but I like mine done even slower.

Underrated post

If only there were Upvotes here. Maybe you should look around for a site with that functionality. It'd be more your style.

gordon ramsay video

This could have been half decent pasta but you overdid it a bit.

...

Fuck you m8.

CHIVES
FINELY CHOPPED
TOAST
BUTTAH

>about 1/125th of a teaspoon of turmeric

Yes, 0.8% of a teaspoon is all you need, really.

You actually fucked that up?

3 eggs, butter, pepper and salt is all you need.

Whisk your eggs and pepper in a bowl, add the butter to a pan that is around medium-low heat, just enough for the egg to solidify and add your egg mixture.Stir around and take it OFF THE HEAT when it's almost soldified. Add your salt and hope that you didn't take it off too early so your pan finishes the job for you.

Put on toast and either enjoy plain or be a "heathen" and add ketchup.

OFF THE HEAT

When did you buy those eggs?
It's nearly impossible to fuck up.

Who'd you learn to make eggs from, a crack dealer?

>Making scrambled eggs when you could be making delicious fluffy japanese egg rectangles.
Shiggy diggy

I've been making eggs like that my whole fucking life and my coworkers call me crazy for it
>why are you beating the eggs so much user
>leave them be so they can cook user
>stop taking them off the stove user
This is why all their scrambled eggs are just chopped up, dry, omelettes with the consistency of packing peanuts and they should stay at the grill serving overcooked burgers to customers too retarded to realize that medium-well means some pink in the middle

>too braindead to figure out how to put eggs in a pan and scramble them

What good are you in day to day life?

don't worry, most people suck at scrambled eggs and think that they need to fry them until rock solid

Wow pal i love all eggs equally

> crack eggs into bowl
>whisk eggs
> cook eggs it hot pan with oil or butter on medium heat
>work the eggs as they cook

my biggest complaint here is that people will state "this is my recipe" and then give completely fucking vague instructions like "a good splash of milk".

heres my recipe! add a good amount of eggs, add a reasonable amount of milk, and add a reasonable amount of additional fillers/spices/salt/pepper you like
viola, fucking 97% of all scrambled egg recipes on planet earth!

on an unrelated note, i tried vegemite in mac and cheese, and it was okay. vegemites high in salt, you think a dab of it could be worked into scrambled eggs? trick would be mixing the vegemite into it somehow i think

honestly, that sounds like an okay recipe if you know what the hell you're doing in the kitchen and you've actually cooked before

I personally wouldn't add milk or fillers at all, just melt a bit of butter in the pan and slowly fold the eggs over low/med heat until they were near-done, then let them rest on the plate.

I don't eat scrambled eggs alone though because they're shit-tier and only good for breakfast burritos. poached eggs are the best way to eat eggs.

youtube.com/watch?v=s9r-CxnCXkg

OP, first thing to know is that owning the right equipment is a help!

Have a decently new/undamaged nonstick that fits your eggs (like 8in for 2-4 eggs), and a nice silicone spatula, spoonula, or turner that can wipe those eggs up off the nonstick as you stir and fold them.

I like to use a small tsp of butter in the pan, but it's optional in a nice nonstick. Sometimes I actually want the flavor of olive oil, alternately.

You can crack your eggs in a separate bowl, whisk them up with maybe only 1 tsp of water/dairy for 3 eggs or so, as it counters any steam moisture loss from cooking. It's also optional and highly debated. Fresh eggs are already moister than older eggs.

Pour into a low-medium or medium-high pan depending how you want to closely monitor their doneness (maybe you are cooking on 4 burners at once), and no you don't need to and shouldn't constantly stir. You'll see chefs do some high heat omelets and I disagree with hjigh heating of a protein, which has a lot of carryover cooking, so stick to medium noob. Use that spoonula to wipe across the bottle of pan , like in an "S" or circular or some order you like that manages to get cooked egg off the bottom and exposes raw egg to the direct contact. At about 30% doneness, you can start a folding motion, flipping over small spatula-sized sections. Keep the curd sizes fairly large, shouldn't be chopping up the eggs too much, and waiting a couple seconds before a folding action. You want ripply folded curds a bit larger than your fork (for the diner to slice down into with the side of their fork and stabbing not trying to stack on top of the fork). Well done eggs lose their glossy shinyness, so when you see about 75% of the folded pieces losing the shine, then you stop. Keep the moistness by removing from heat.

Optional: at around 50% done, you can put in a little torn or grated cheese, my favorite being gouda, or some chives. I salt and pepper at the table.

>honestly, that sounds like an okay recipe if you know what the hell you're doing in the kitchen and you've actually cooked before
GOD DAMN IT. thats my point. it dosent TELL you anything, its a broad range of fucking anything on planet earth. you look up a recipe because you DONT know how to cook it, and this sort of recipe requires you to ALREADY know what your doing, and thus the fucking recipe is worthless. your specific recipe is a FUCKLOAD more specific and useful as a recipe then "my" recipe was

I want to add that culturally, specifically all of latin america, eats their scrambled eggs in a way most Americans would consider unsafe and mostly raw. It's cultural, though, like the soft boiled vs the hard boiled preferences crowd. I like a fried egg over easy, so know your likes and dislikes, and then do it your way.

You should know that salmonella is really a luck of the draw, has nothing to do if they are from your farm, organic or how fresh, etc, and a random egg can have it. So, in a restaurant setting, where they pool (precrack 100s of eggs in a bin for scrambled eggs they can ladle out for the masses), then you take those odds of 1 in 100 and let that one rotten egg contaminate a whole bin of raw egg for tons of diners at once. If it's underdone, well, your odds are pretty high. So if it matters to you, in a restaurant you're better off with individual fried eggs. Whether it sends you to the hospital or not, where you run up a copay, or maybe die from complications (rare but happens), it's your right to do things how you want and what risks you want to take. Talk to any E.R. doc if you're friends and you'll see it's realllllly common food illness, and isn't reported until they locate a vector. Chickens walk in shit, eat and peck in their shit, poop and sit in poopy feathers and sit on eggs both. It is how it is. So, just know not to dampen your shells or get shells into cracked eggs, discard or not use suspicious looking cracked eggs, etc. Wash hands and keep utensils and worksurfaces uncontaminated. I tap the eggs flat inside a disposable grocery bag on the countertop, and use the bag for my shells, and then right into the trash it all goes. Or wipe your countertops with bleach solution, faucets, keeping fingers clean.
/end The more you know!

>warm pan
>butter
>crack eggs into pan
>do not season, this breaks the egg down wait till the end
>stir em round in the pan till they are only kinda mushy
>if the pan is too hot, take it off, and stir them in the pan on a countertop. Should not take long
>If you got some basil, or chives throw them in
>plate, then salt and pepper
Congrats that's what scrambled eggs are. Half these co/ck/s are making omelettes. enjoy

for me it's
>3 eggs
>healthy chunk of butter and a splash of milk
>beat, add to warm pan
>break em down,stir em till cooked but still soft and slightly wet
>plate
>salt and pepper

Came here just to see this lol

literally what is so difficult about "scrambled eggs"? it's in the name you fudgepacker

how much milk? how much salt? how much pepper? some, a bit, a lot, to preference. of course its easy, but when someone trys to tell you a recipe and it could end up being like 47 different recipes then whats the fucking point.

someone goes, this is how i like it, and you follow it, make it for them and they hate it because: a bit of this and a bit of that isnt a SPECIFIC amount and his bit might be your "fuckload". if you dont actually know what goes in your recipe dont call it your recipe

I use about 6 eggs and 1 tbsp of milk/cream/or half and half, usually the last option per egg and 1 tbsp butter (or a bit less maybe 4tbsp) per egg. I add dried tarragon, turn the heat to the lowest it will go, first add in the butter and milk or cream to heat up, season with salt, fresh pepper, and tarragon, and then let is sit for about 10-15 minutes before slowly stirring with a fork every few minutes until creamy and the eggs are in fine caviar-like pieces.

You make what taste good. Eggs are so fucking cheap you could spend an entire morning trying various recipes and your own ideas, and you'd be out like 10 bucks

>crack some eggs into a cup and add a tablespoon of water
>stir that shit up really well
>heat a non-stick sauce pan on medium heat
>at a tablespoon to a tablespoon and a half to the pan
>pour the eggs in and start stirring
>literally just stir until the eggs have cooked to your liking

It's not that hard, OP. Don't add milk, though. Seriously. The liquid releases and makes for soggy eggs.

>6 eggs
dude what the hell relax

fuck, I'm drunk, sorry. Add a tablespoon to a tbsp and a half OF BUTTER to the pan

also make sure you don't use something sharp to stir the eggs in the pan, use a soft spatula or chopsticks

put them in a non stick or buttered/oiled pan on medium heat

keep mixing them around with a spatula until they are done enough for you. add salt/pepper

if anyone makes it harder than this tell them to fuck off

Scrambled dry

If they wind up scrambled and not raw or burned - you have succeeded. Add milk, cream, water, salt, pepper, cayenne, garlic, cheese, butter, olive oil, diced veggies, whatever you want to add to them is your business but otherwise just best the crap out of them with a fork or whisk and throw them in a pan over medium heat, stirring frequently until cooked through.

Voila!

You fuckstick.
If the amount is vague then it always means "to preference". Besides cooking is more of an artform thanks to the differing quality and availability of raw materials. Specific amounts are meaningless unless baking.

Also splash is the amount you quick "splash" from the container that has whatever you are trying to use. Consider it between 1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon if you want to be autistic about it.

>he doesn't mix cheese with his eggs
Fucking plebs.

At a certain point you assholes are just making whipped omlets.

>pepper
FUCK
YOU

Literally how the fuck do you mess this up.
Either you had bad eggs, or you should just give up on cooking.

Depends on if you like soft, creamy eggs. Or firm eggs.

That is what being egg intolerant feels like. Fuck you normies and you ability to eat eggs.

Why does everyone salt and pepper after the eggs are done?

In my experience, this completely overpowers the taste of the eggs and adds a very faint gritty texture, versus the more subtle, smooth taste of just mixing them in.

I literally cannot make scrambled eggs, only omelettes.

There's tons of different recipes for scrambled eggs because there's tons of different ways to enjoy them.

You can have them as a sort of dip with toast points and caviar and smoked salmon, and then you probably will want to use a French style method with low temp and lots of stirring.

You might want to smear them on a slab of toast with some bacon on top and swipe the whole thing through some baked beans and brown sauce, in which case you'll go for a quick method with lots of stirring like Gordon Ramsay famously espouses.

You might want to use them as the bulk in a breakfast burrito, in which case you'll use an American method of whisking them thoroughly before dumping them over foaming butter and dragging the curds about into fluffy omelettey bits.

You might want to combine elements of all of them. You might want to avoid breaking the yolks until later in the process so you get little jewels of orange amongst them. You might want to bake them as a custard and make a little egg pot or chawan mushi type thing. I like to make piperade or dump them into blanched and buttered broccoli with lots of pepper. You might want to do them like the Chinese by cooking the fuck out of them and adding yomatoes and shit.

You choose how you cook them based on how you want them. General rules though, if you mix Them with water or milk you're just diluting them, fuck that noise. Butter helps them go fluffy, oil helps them brown. Salt whenever you want, it makes practically no difference despite what old wives tell you. And for the love of god don't overlook them unless you're going for that Chinese egg bullets bullshit

idk maybe because I don't want to look like an absolute retard trying to whisk eggs while they're cooking

You don't use a whisk, you just mix them around with your spatula. It's pretty standard.