I just ate a rotten date. What's gonna happen to me

I just ate a rotten date. What's gonna happen to me

dates don't rot, they're sugar & fiber

Probably nothing.

Inb4 baddates.jifpg3

i'd prepare for murder charges, hate crime too if he was gay and you're straight

Looks like your days are numbered.

So?
That just retards decaying.

Was it a dried date or a fresh one?

Dry

Jesus, did she not put out?

You already died; this is hell, user

Your asshole will never be the same.

...

Speaking of rotten dates, tell your mother I said hi.

I SAID INB4 MOTHERFUCKER

i dont get it

If you're gonna inb4 you need the intercept image, foolio

Kek well played

What did these quads mean?

My grandma told me the peaches I the microwave were still good. As a kid I thought "fuck yeah, score". I got to the pit and it was split open and as if on cue an earwig crawled out.

No more peaches for this my man dude bro. :^(

I just ate some funky smelling macaroni mayonnaise salad, and I'm okay with that.

Mayonnaise never goes bad. It just becomes miracle whip. You know that extra zip you taste in miracle whip? That's the flavor of patience.

>retards decaying

>That's the flavor of patience.

Herpes all over your mouth and aids.