You're a english teacher and you have new freshman. Whats the first book you make them read?

>You're a english teacher and you have new freshman. Whats the first book you make them read?

*unzips penis*
Make em read THIS book
With their mouth

I make them read The Scarlet Letter so they grow up hating literature

"I'm about to fuck your shit up"

Top lel

As always, the best bet is to given them a solid foundation by having them start with the Greeks.

Personally, I'm a big fan of Homer's The Iliad, which on the one hand covers many serious themes such as the struggle between protesting against an unjust, inept authority and the corrosive effects on group cohesion of such insubordination, while on the other hand providing a lot of action and fantastical occurrences to keep your class's adolescent, ADHD-riddled brains engaged.

If you're unlucky enough to be teaching a group of "delayed learners", you may even allow them the aide of one Epic Greek-English dictionary and perhaps an introductory grammar.

Beowulf. How is that a question and how much did your college rip you off for?

Make them start with the greeks

I've seen you before bitter user-san!

Lord of the Rings so they can watch the movies over a weekend and do well on quizzes. This way I get to keep my job because all that matters to my bosses is the number of kids that pass my class.

J R so I can prove to them books can actually be funny and have memes too

Whatever the government has decided I have to make them read.

Consider the Lobster by David Foster Wallace because kids are too cynical these days and their retarded, ironic view of life honestly pisses me off.

I would split the class into two groups:
One group gets to read Animal Farm by George Orwell.
The other gets to read the Cat in the Cat by Dr. Seuss.

I do this because if these kids are anything like the people I went to high school with, then half of them can't even read.

Lolita because I'm a pedo.

a proper book on grammar so that he can learn that the singular "they" is an abomination. you should do the same, op.

Again, the first post is usually the best.

It's accepted now. Time to get over it.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.

SEUSS IS LIT

ruh adam, translated by me

Turner Diaries
Im gonna read pill the fuck out of those kids

>introduce hormonal and developing minds to baby's first nihilism
>see which ones become edgelords and take it to heart
>give As to the ones who don't react at all

Looking for Alaska

Lol no.

mein kampf or some book by a nigger

Both for the irony.

And what do you propose as a substitute?

Most of the books I read in high school were either famous (Of Mice and Men, Lord of the Flies) or modern teen bullshit (Speak, 13 Reasons Why). I'll break everything down by year.

>Freshman was Speak, Of Mice and Men, and a book of our choice. Can't remember what I picked. We also spent like a month on The Most Dangerous Game.
>Sophomore was Lord of the Flies, 13 Reasons Why, and a project where we responded to every chapter in a book. I picked Moby-Dick. Ended up filling the entire notebook and part of a second one.
>Junior year was my favorite. Ordinary People, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, On the Road, and another independent book. Mine was "How to Get Filthy Rich In Rising Asia".
>Senior year was mostly spent writing a thesis, but we got two selections from popular dystopian novels (Brave New World; 1984; Handmaid's Tale) and world cultural events (Persepolis; The Kite Runner; Maus; and a couple about women's roghts in the Middle East)

As long as I can lick their tears it's fine.

I unironically think the high school curriculum is pretty decent, it just needs to do a better job engaging people in the books that it assigns. The books are supposed to be fairly easy intros to real literature, and they do that.

>tfw when your unzip your penis

I had an english prof use that in one of my intro english classes, badass guy.

Catcher probably.
It's an easy book to have a strong opinion on, good for encouraging debate.

If you haven't read this book since high school go back and read it again at your own pace. It totally changes and it's a beautiful book

Man, if I had full reign I would make it into a survey of the regional literature.

No Great Mischief by Alistair MacLeod
Marion Bridge by Daniel MacIvor
Poetry of Alden Nowlan and George Eliot Clarke
Selections from Hark! A Vagrant by Kate Beaton

and I guess Tempest for good measure, I was made to do one Shakespeare a year in high school and I think it was good

Industrial Society and Its Future

"He" can refer either to a male or to a generic person whose gender is unessential--the etymological meaning is "this one."

Any English teachers here? What's it like? Would really love to work with younger students, but I would hate having to ram To Kill a Mockingbird/Lord of Flies/etc. down their throat. What are the chances of designing your own curriculum? Teaching something like Kafka (The Metamorphosis) would be awesome and pretty accessible, I'd imagine.

Kafka is not accessible for high schoolers

Why? Man turns into vermin; hilarity ensues.

>L'Étranger
>Nihilistic
Senpai I'm not expecting you to be decent at interpretation I'm just expecting you to be capable of reading the wikipedia page.

>tfw you unzip your benis and your pants come out
>she starts sucking it
>it needs to be dry cleaned
>fugg

>the etymological meaning is "this one."
acknowledging this only serves to point out the problems presented the male pronoun being neutral (and vice versa), not resolve them

also, etymological fallacy ya goof

My ninth grade philosophy teacher made the class read the Metamorphosis and Socrates's Apology.
Then again, private school.

>...and YOU'RE paying for your copy!

That's honestly awesome. Good for him. I wish I had a teacher that cool.

this

It's super accessible for high schoolers wtf. Unless the people at your high school were extra stupid or something.

Mein Kampf

Infinite Jest, of course.

underrated.

The Merchant of Venice

>tug zip too hard
>zip comes off
>can't figure out how to zip back up
>penis permanently unzipped.

>one kid becomes insufferable the rest hate literature forever

Probably start with ''Animal Farm' or '1984' so as to ease them into Literature. Dystopian fiction's really popular, and they're simplistic enough that people can discern the themes and not view it as a load of pretentious garbage. From here I'd move into 'The Outsider' because, once again, simple to read and analyze. Follow it up with 'Catcher in the Rye' so as to help connect with students. Probably throw in 'Gatsby' at some point, as well as 'On the Road' for the notion of the Great American Novel, and then finish the year off with 'In Cold Blood'. Pretty simple stuff, good way to get people into reading, rather than it all seeming like trite garbage.

Second year's where it gets fun, since I'd make them spend the whole year studying 'Ulysses', laughing maniacally the entire time. That'd show ' em.

>mfw someone calls it 'The Outsider'
>mfw other languages call it 'The Foreigner'
>mfw it's better than the original title

I'm german and for my english class we had to read the dystopian classics 1984, brave new world and fahrenheit. Surprisingly everyone was able to read them and we could actually discuss the books and not end up with ehhh i only read the online summary

Honestly senpai if you want them to actually get them into literature you need to throw Quixote and Shakespeare at them, they'll never truly understand that there's no such thing as serious literature otherwise.