Say you wrote a really good book, and an agency took great interest in you

Say you wrote a really good book, and an agency took great interest in you

But their contract stated you have to do book signings, promotion on social media, readings of the book, television & radio appearances,

Would you do it?

Yep, but I'm still young and goodlookin'. If I were 40 or looked like Pynchon I'd reconsider.

Yes. Next question.

Yes, I'd be sure to wear something weird too so people know I'm an artist and therefore more cultured than them. This gives people more reason to read my books as they can use them in public to look sophisticated.

Dude, people at 40 years old looks totally normal and ok. You must be really young to think 40 is anything that can be considered old age or decadent.

Is it true that you sold anthrax to North Korea for, I quote the article, "the lulz"?

Getting so much attention can be annoying as fuck, but it's not like good authors are superstars.
So I would be fine with that.

Why are your looks important in this case?
I mean it's about your book and not your haircut, acne scars or wrinkles.

Do you really want all those slags you roofied to remember who you are AND finding out you now have money?

hire someone to pretend to be me. duh. then I'd tell him to slip up- y'know, little things. Like in one interview he'll mention he went to highschool in x, but then ten interviews later he'll talk about going to prom in y. CONSPIRACY THEORIES, BITCHES. Best way to stay relevant. I'll be a dumber, less talented pynchon.

Of course. Do you think we're all hikikikikikomori here or summat?