Haven't slept for 34 hours, finally noticing decrease in my cognitive capabilities, althought i don't feel tired...

Well, i found a great things to listen to. Jackson or anything from 80's.
Retrowave is also cool.

I'm mostly curious about my job performace tomorrow (don't worry it's nothing special, basically a dead end job since i am poor studfag so noone will be in harm.) i was in job today after not sleeping for like 18 hours and were actually more productive than day before...

Yeah, could see that happening. Had done this once before (not working the other day though), and nothing special happened.

I have heard voices for years but they are never. They only talk about things that echo in the back of my mind. Sometimes they say scary shit like "do you hear us?" but I simply don't think about it or they will start crying.

*they are never negative

I fucking hate posting on my phone

that's like actual schizophrenia user. Probably very minor symptoms but still

Strange, i have never heard voices in my head. Only thing that would come close to that would be sesions where i bassicaly explain shit to myslef as if i were talking to someone else. Always helped me put my thought straight, and sometimes i even thing of something i never thought before.

I do have schizophrenia. But I have more visual hallucinations than auditory. I am almost unable to look in the fucking mirror 99% of the time without something frightening me.

what about other faces? I have little anecdotal experience with visual hallucinations, even with psychedelics, can you go into more detail?

I don't see any faces I know, they mold and distort with every frame of thought.

Longest i've stayed awake is 72+ hours. I began hearing some random noises, but the most wierd thing was that my eyes started seeing everything in a red hue. When i looked at my arm it looked like it was covered in blood. Fckin wierd things happen when u dont sleep and its not worth it nor is productive in any way

i get that if i look in a mirror or at someones face in a dark room.

Holy shit guys, does it scare you on regular basis or are you aware enough to realize it's just in your head?

the mirror in a dark room thing works for everyone; go try it yourself; go to your bathroom with lights off - dark (but still able to see your face vaguely i.e. not pitch black) and just stare at your face and youll see it morph.

Hallucinations, impaired judgement. Without simulants you'll pass out eventually.

I realize my hallucinations aren't real, but my delusions can be pretty strange. I feel like someone doesn't approve of my actions and will end up betraying me and cut off my right to live in my own flesh, sometimes it feels like people are holograms or programmed AI designed to socialize with others. It's just obstacles every fucking day of the year.

If I go 24 hours without sleep and take stims I have horrifying hallucinations before I finally pass out. Sleep deprivation also can damage your brain. Bad idea OP

talk to them user, dont be mean.

When i used to be a medfag i once lasted 50 hours without sleeping other than a 10 min snore that made me lose my bus stop.

Other than my suicidal thoughts becoming way more frequent and the inability to even form the basic shape of a bone and its structures nothing else happened.

oh shit, I might be schizophrenic

Yeah, you're all right. I should go to bed. This little adventure is not even interesting enough and i don't want to pass out in the middle of my duty.

Who's them?

Oh, I know what you meant. I don't consider the voices conscious or self-thinking because they literally aren't.

guys i do this shit weekly on meth and have nothing other than slight audio hallucinations n white noise

u have weak brains

Atleast they have brains, yours must be mush by now

shutup mushlet

Starting to have mild hallucinations

but they are, dont be so high and mighty to assume that the consciousness you bring the front now is the only one that exists in your brain.

read the ghost in the machine for a primer

Is it normal to feel depressed due to sleep deprivation?

My hallucinations are just apart of mind. They talk about things that I didn't even think I was thinking of but I really was but I didn't focus on them.

Guinness record for sleep deprivation is over 11 days, man the fuck up pussies

what?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Gardner_(record_holder)

People literally are programmed AI designed to socialize with others. I guess the artificial part can be thrown out. People are designed by the universe to do what they do. Free will isn't an illusion, it just takes a lot of hard work and determination/persistence

So you think there is a god?

I think i'll go to sleep now.
Have a nice nightmy whole window is fucked and i don't know where im writing
good night.

And stop being a whiny faggot about obstacles in life. Everyone is struggling through their existence. Everyone should take a heavy prescribed dose of man the fuck up.

He was just about to level up and acquire super powers

Fukkng quads.

I dont think there is a god, but i know there is information out there waiting to be discovered/acknowledged that will turn our perception of reality inside out upside down and all sorts of fuckery doodle

Quantum mechanics had already unveiled some whacker doodle shit. Until it has any bearing over the macro world though I don't give a shit about what itty bitty titty particles are doing

jelous much?

What are you talking about? No seriously. I don't know if you are exaggerating something or not.
Well, we can't just wait for it to happen. Most people look at the complicated aspects of things but aren't there always simple answers to simple problems? I mean what humanity can do in general, as long as we are the most intelligent species known.

>Its just obstacles every day of the year

That statement is riddled with woe is me faggotry. Whining about shit and feeling sorry for yourself is self depracating self destructive behavior. Work toward solving the problems in your life.

And the second part of your post is word vomit, I don't understand it.

I was talking about my perception being off, which can deceive me. I wasn't talking about the obstacles being difficult, but they exist. I'm fully aware of how my mind works and I have to recheck every thought I do. It's pretty compulsive behavior but it's more positive than ignoring the differences. I am still confused about what you mean though.

Im just projecting myself onto you. I do similar compulsive behavior to keep my mind in check. Im not diagnosed with anything though.

I admit, you tricked me. I thought you were putting your personal life problems on me, like some type of moral to be learned for me having a weak mind.
It caused me to question if what you said was advice but I couldn't relate to what you said. I don't feel depressed at all, I am unable to even comprehend my own emotions from a 3rd person perspective because that would involve me thinking about myself without that thought even interfering. I take what I read on the internet true until it is proven false. It's better that way because I don't want a habit to deny everything instantly or I may question the environment I live in. It may get that severe depending on how emotionally active I am. Due to the negative symptoms of schizophrenia I have a normally "flat affect". It means that my emotions are much more dull so I have to think things over with observation. But it just wastes my time for me to get things done. That's neuroticism for you. I don't want to think too much about my diagnosis because I find it to be a label for anyone who doesn't understand me fully.

This graph accurately explains my behavior, but only how it is observed outside. It is unknown by most people how the disorder works internally. I can explain a feel things if you'd like. I think I notice myself how cringey I type paragraphs but I'm not creative enough to even go deep into that part.

>try keep me entertained.
man, I can;t entertain you when you shouold be dojnhnviskjdcnisn to bed

my mistake
that "name" (I am knowin....) was meant for a different thread

Fuck yes i want you to explain how you feel. I like learning what goes on in unique minds.

The way i was talking to you in the first few posts is how I treat myself in my own head.

Well, I have heard of a study where a newscaster tried to stay awake as long as possible. After a while, hallucinations set in, and your motor skills degrade further. Eventually (Within about 5 days), you'll have permanent neurological damage.

What really makes my mind unique is that I am diagnosed with both Schizophrenia AND Autism. Schizophrenia came first, than Autism Spectrum Disorder. Both have similar AND conflicting symptoms so when they combine, weird shit happens. I starting having symptoms of schizophrenia when I was 14 and it literally felt like my reality was bending it's true form around me and wanted to tell me something. Not like it was conscious to do that, but that there was a reason that only I knew. Not saying anyone else isn't capable of that way of thinking. It's just unique to me because I have had a strange experience growing up.
I can't prove to you that I have mental illness, it's what the qualified psychologists say from observing me over a 4 month period in a mental facility for troubled kids. I talked to them for a while and they understood how I felt, at times they didn't because I have a lot of trouble being coherent with communication.
It just confused me, because I took it that it was aimed at me when I wasn't involved in the conversation long enough to even discredit it.

Was there a sudden personality change when it started? Were you relatively carefree and unaware before it started?

I never felt that I thought normally. I sometimes wished that someone could kill me or set me on fire when I was 5. Nobody could explain why I thought that and left it to me having a vibrant imagination. I remember when some little girl on the news got set on fire inside a trash disposal and I literally told the teacher "I wish that would happen to me" and they would shake their head which confused me. I have always been interested in science. I learned how to read when I was 2 and could understand numbers and symbols better than words. Not because of the visual aspect but because they represented meaning to me simply. Like the number '2' could me separate pencils that are their own entity. But are no more than a thing and the other. I always thought that other kids liked me even when I even thought they despised me. It was a strange dilemma. I lied every day I came from school that I had a good day. I would start coughing very loudly so I would be sent home because I couldn't stand people looking at me. It felt like the students hated me, the teachers hated me, my mom hated me, but at the same time I thought I enjoyed everything and that every kid at school was my friend. I would be bullied constantly for being insanely different from everyone I met which put the dilemma on the extreme. I would go off the gradiose delusions and utter insane depression by middle school. This had nothing to do with mood as I would be normal otherwise. So I don't really have bipolar that is rapid cycling. It's more on the line of my thinking being very heavy and unstable. I lived with my mom for 7 years who was mentally ill herself. She wanted to shelter me from people and told me not to talk to strangers because everyone is a criminal who would want to hurt me for no reason.
It was until that I started having hallucinations that people thought that something wrong.

Sorry in advance for asking the same questions your psychologists have asked.

Thats wicked, being able to remember your thoughts from when you were 2. How old are You now? Those conflicting feeling of feeling like people hated you, but enjoying everything and feeling like everyone was your friend, were those seperate events or did they somehow coexist at the same time?

shit man, that's fucked up. Not gonna lie, it's astonishing you are sociable at all. talk about bittersweet.

Mental illneses always interested me - I try to link them to functions of the brain.

From what I read and observed from a schizo uncle, and talked with schizo net friends, I 've been pondering on the idea that schizophrenia is a development failure of the subconcious functions of the brain.

Ever saw the clear sky and noticed your corne has weird little deformities? Well, those are in fact actual deformities. You never notice them normally because your subconcious brain knows what they are and "deletes" them when processing info. It's the same deal with seeing an undistinguished shape and assuming it's a form you know - that's a subconcious function

So imagine if those parts of the brain that regulate them are impared. Suddenly your brain tries to "fix" things that are completely normal. The most retarded little thing everyone ignores is now super important because your brain can't let go of it. A schizo friend once described one of his first experience as "a though that lingered on the back of my head and when I noticed it had consumed everything else"

Poor fucker got welfare denied because the govt psych arbitrarily declared his schizophrenia was not PSTD induced and because of a break up he had years before joining the army.

It was coexisting thoughts at the same time. But it's like I knew that they existed and couldn't do anything about it. I eventually wanted to build separate realities inside my mind so I would have no reason to oppose myself. They eventually went to me thinking about the universe because the cause of itself and wanting to kill myself at 12. The main reason why I couldn't kill myself because I absolutely feared hell because I was born to a christian family. I used to read the bible constantly but I found gaps of reasoning that made no sense to me. Like how can God love ALL his creations made in his image if he orders the Jews to attack a village and kill every last one of them? Even the children. In truth, it's because the children will learn what happened to their families and will eventually turn on them. But why is it okay for the people of Israel to do this? Is it because they were slaves by the Egyptians? Why is it okay to kill every first born son because they wouldn't accept you as truth? I also could never accept the seven days of creation or adam and eve because it didn't seem possible to create the Earth before the stars. I did not accept the bible as truth or metaphor. I already read books on Astronomy, Biology, and Aesop's fables before I was too involved in religion. It's like I would go to church and couldn't follow what the pastor said. It seemed like rambling that only experienced adults with their own problems would understand instead of about God. I did enjoy breaking apart what the verses in the bible meant but there is always multiple ways to interpret them. Religion was a way for me to cope but I didn't understand how Chrisitanity could be the correct religion and not Bhuddism, Islam, Paganism, Hinduism, etc.
There COULD be a God but there is no way to prove OR disprove his existence. Our God is omniscient and omnipresent anyway. He is all powerful so he can change anything without any person noticing.

It feels like my thoughts are echoing inside my head, they are thoughts of perfection and total chaos. Anything to let go or give away. It's more so that I question if knowledge is even valuable if it WILL be lost. Now or later.
>Poor fucker got welfare denied because the govt psych arbitrarily declared his schizophrenia was not PSTD induced and because of a break up he had years before joining the army.
I don't even think Schizophrenia can be PTSD induced in the first place. That would be Schizophreniform and is short term.

Schizophrenia has a "hard trigger" that's poorly understood, but is kickstarted by severe stress of any kind. And it's permanent. Once off the deep end, you stay in the deep end.

Military lingo has a term named sector 8 which stands for going insane during deployment. The other most common hard trigger is the abuse (or if you are extremely unlucky, the unprepared use) of psychedelic drugs, as these can trigger strong emotional reactions akin to trauma for some people. Even domestic violence or something as simple as getting mugged can trigger a breakdown.

US army will give you a for life welfare line if you are confirmed to have gone insane during deployment. The US state being known penny pinchers will try it's hardest to prove you did not.

My uncle went nuts while on Holidays through Europe. Did some hard psychedelics then called my mom and told the the Eiffel tower was peaking to him.

He was known to be "eccentric" prior the episode, and if I think about it they were obvious symptoms of latent schizophrenia, but nobody ever wants to think someone close to you is like that. Except my mom, fuck her.

you will start sleeping, eventually
maybe for a moment, or two, before waking up again, periodically, throughout the day, but you won't really know that its happening to you
your brain will be so fucked, that you won't be able to tell the difference between spacing out, and forgetting what just happened, and actually losing consciousness

Can built up stress be a trigger? Because I have no single event in my life but I would think about things constantly that made me feel pointless and absolutely inadequate to even life. By the time I went 7th grade in middle school, I had a mental breakdown and didn't care about fucking anything. I even wanted to go to school with a knife and gouge people's eyes out at random just for not noticing my existence and appreciating me for being much more superior to them. I wanted to make other people as miserable as physically possible because I couldn't stand how they don't have the same problems as me. I took it personally that they wouldn't help me because they don't like me for some personal reason that I wouldn't know. I may have been the cause for them not to like me but I wanted to be nice. I thought that I was an idiot and I am not capable of even doing what was acceptable and what is morally correct. It was deep envy and jealousy that some people WILL in fact be more successful than me AND have an easier life JUST because they were born normal. They were luckier than me, I can't stand that thought. I got fucked over by probability. I do not believe in determinism. My life could be a lie just for me to suffer, I could enjoy my suffering by isolating myself in my own mind and have conflicting ideas that always give me options.

Is this going to get worse? How do I prevent this?

Are you still here? I'd imagine you have slept by now.

Mind that people who undergo this hard trigger seem to be mayorly outwards schizophrenics (the kind that shouts at hallucinations). Inwards (those that state at a wall for days at a time) ones who underwent them are rare afaik

It's possible. It has to be strong emotion. Quite simply, an emotional breakdown something sudden. Stres scan build up but once you reach the boiling point the meotion suddenly pours from you.

But form your description, your schizophrenia was already active from birth, maybe even diagnosed prior a brekadown, which was on top of that coupled with psychological issues. The fact that your where autistic, which almost always ends up with impaired social skills (which in turn give you) the psychological disorders.

>Is this going to get worse? How do I prevent this?

Your personal experience in the end is subjective and I'd have to observe your enviroment directly to have any real idea of what's happening. Just form reading this post, I'd say you ahve self-esteem issues, emotional trauma from mistreatment at childhood and considerable grudges, which are in turn made extreme from your schizophrenia.

It goes without saying that form what you said here, you need both a shirk to deal with your psychological issues and a psychiatrist to treat your mental illnesses. And don't sidestep it: both are equally important to your development as a person.

I already have a therapist seeing me, I saw him on August 1st. We don't really talk about anything that relates to me because he goes into so much detail about something I mention while we only have 50 minutes to meet and I see him once every 2 weeks. His curiosity stacks on so much that we never fix anything and it takes a couple months to even go through a single problem. I don't have the patience sit through years of therapy that goes no where. I used to take medicine but I don't take them anymore. My therapist was happy for me but he doesn't realize other issues. It's actually very difficult to come up with my actual problems because my mind seems so empty when it is even mentioned in my actual mind. If I don't find a problem, I will then go off and work on some shit or read till I find something "off" with my perception and thought. Which will then loop over and over again until it builds up and then I'm back at the start.
If I can not resolve my problems then I will live the rest of my life feeling inadequate, something is missing, or that I failed at something that will never be worked on and I can't feel complete. Death is inevitable for everyone.

Go to sleep retard

Oh damn, do you know why you wanted to be set on fire? I remember wishing my arm to be cut off at your age. Fucked up

Because I thought people would finally care about me then.

anyone else get auditory hallucinations when it's very very quiet in the middle of the night and you're about to fall asleep

That's hypnogagia

I use to go for extended durations without sleep, and also minimal sleep for about a week or two.

> I suffered massive decrease in appetites
> I sometimes also had pretty strong cravings as well, often for high energy and high carbs.
> After a long time, say 70 hours of no sleep I had INCREDIBLE paranoia, even of people I would kill for, and have absolute trust in.
> Crazy things, like someone I loved and trusted completely, (by that I do literally mean completely, if they looked out the window and told me its the four horsemen, I know the four horsemen are out there without doubt) where going to steal shit from me in a computer game we both played.
> I of course had hugely delayed reaction times. Moreso than I really thought.
> I had zero fucking patients, party due to the fact I had done so much and it felt like everyone else didn't achieve anything at all.
> I had moments of restlessness
> Also difficulty focusing on things
> alternatively focusing on things like a laser, and ignoring almost everything going on around me.

What is this for user? Is it a sleeping problem or is it for something like study/self interest/competition.

Voices really are NOT cool, EVER.
> I use to hear voices, sometimes helpful insights into something I was working on, other times praises or critiques.
> Sometimes suggestions on how to interact with other people, this was generally REALLY helpful and ALWAYS yielded desired outcomes.
> Generally if I followed the advice the voices said I get the outcome I wanted,
> There was a degree of interaction, the voices offering different outcomes and options and how to achieve them.

I ended up doubting myself constantly, was the chick dating me because she liked me, or because the voices (that felt different entities to myself) making her.

Did this person really want a threesome, or was it manipulation on my part.

Did I get this promotion because I earned it with my hard work and merit, or because id allowed the voices to guide me in talking them into it.

I felt pretty terrible about how I treated some people to get what I wanted. I also doubted myself a lot.

And the voices never "took over" or "made" me do shit, nor did I feel like I was on autopilot.
Some of the results felt really amazing at the time, and I could probably live with it, like having a life coach. But I generally tone them out now, only asking for help in certain times or for important things, and the more I let them help, the more I know I'm likely to want more and more, and I wouldn't ever want to become dependant on something.

TL;DR Even the cool helpful voices lead to a possible downfall, its generally not worth the ride.

72Hrs. here. I started hallucinating with weird stuff (Seeing things behind my monitor, skiping seconds, color changing stuff) physical weakness and tachycardia, opressed chest, headaches, etc. Please dont keep user. I had to go to the cardiologist before that and it probably lead me to anxiety attacks and panic attacks.

I'm just here, sitting...
And thinking as to why when i make thread about actual science, wanting to have debate about activation energies/transition states and their releation to antibonding orbitals it gets one response and then dies.

While on the other hand stupid thread about me not sleeping for 34 hours gets fuck load of attention.
Just let this thread die please.
SAGE

This thread will now make it to bump limit fuck you /b/ GET

Are You doing Threesome/Menage on your Girlfriend with a Ghost/Spirit?
Are this Ghost/Spirit your Your Sex Therapist?
Do He watches?

FUCK YOU /b/ GET GET GET

Do you have a sense of unreality?

Fuck your double infinity get nigger, shit

Fantastic, this heat is killing me, its 4:44 am in my country right now.
which means i've been awake for about 20+ hours.
WILL THIS BE THE SESSION THAT KILLS ME? GOD I HOPE SO!!

>sociopath
Not a good label to have, bud.

even worse if it's self-proclaimed

Self proclaimed socipaths are onvariably just autistic. Autists aften think they're sociopaths, because sociopaths do not feel strong emotions, and autists do not understand their own emotional landscape and tend to assume they are "above" that kind of thing (protip: you aren't).

That actually makes a lot of sense.

This user gets it. Im guilty of what you just described.

This is how I felt.

it's ironic, the clue is in the picture.

Sociopath confirmed.