ITT: Combine the plot of your favorite book with your second favorite book

ITT: Combine the plot of your favorite book with your second favorite book

>an Italian general joins a gang of scalphunters while digging around for falledln Italian soldiers

Could work

This is Blood Meridian and what?

The General of the Dead Army.

...

Why would I do that?

>Raskolnikov kills an old lady with an axe...and he's throwing a dinner party tonight. We follow him around town as he goes shopping for flowers himself, having a series of introspections, existential crises, and reminisces on past homoeroticism with Razumikhin. Dunia tries to console Petrovich in his bouts of PTSD and isolation. He refuses to see a doctor. After what seems to be progress with his condition, he jumps out of a balcony window, killing himself. A detective comes to Raskolnikov's party. Razumikhin is with another woman. Raskolnikov realizes that Dunia is his very reason for being. He turns himself in and goes to prison where he finds God and love.

Bomber pilot on the Italian front hopelessly defends himself against charges of heresy and corrupting the youth.

an obsessive captain launches a voyage to destroy the last white whale during the winter phase of Faustian culture

>tfw decline of the dick

Patroclus preaches in the desert but it's not until he is decapitated and his goat hair armor is taken that Jesus takes up his arms, not until throwing some funeral games in memory of his dead friend, where he turns some water to wine because the mixing bowls were all dirty. He then goes berserk and chases Herod's son, Pilate three times around the walls of Jerusalem's old temple. His apostle Ajax betrays him for thirty silver cups, thirty slaves and thirty prized whores. He is promptly punished by God who sends Archangel Hermes to take his minds away. Ajax hangs himself in shame after having fucked some goats to death. Meanwhile Jesus is crucified in Paris with a stake through the heel, which was where Mary had held him when she had baptised him in the Jordan. Zeus raises him from the dead and makes him serve the Olympian gods at their table forever, because he was THAT good looking and the Greeks (Jews, whatever) were notorious poofs. Back on Earth Paul, a blind and illiterate Hellenized Jew who sang at parties, puts Jesus' story in dactylic hexameter and starts a worldwide semi-suicidal doomsday cult. Αμήν. Τίτλοι τέλους.

Uuuuuhhhh...
Uhm.
Four friends go on a semi-surrealist adventure coming to terms with their lives and their pasts while studying literature in france.

Rookie whaler Ishmael analyses the class background of the fall of the Second French Republic and Louis Napoleon's rise to power.

C&P and AK?
Catch-22 and The Trial of Socrates
Moby-Dick and Decline of the West
The Savage Detectives and...I have no idea
Moby-Dick and some history book Blood Meridian and Infinite Jest

Crime and Punishment and Mrs.Dalloway.

>tfw I don't have favorite books

>The Savage Detectives and...I have no idea
The Three Musketeers and Emotionally Weird by Kate Atkinson. Yeah, okay, but I don't have to justify myself.

pleb

If you give a mouse a cookie, he'll blow up an apartment complex he designed.

Virgil visits 5 generations of South Americans and takes them on a series of trips to and from Heaven, Hell, and the realms in between, unfortunately each and every one of them goes crazy crafting gold fish or studying alchemy or lusting after children and none of them leave any poetic masterpieces about the experience when they disappear into the next century.

a little boy employs a dope ass painter to paint some fake shit and make mad bucks. hilarity ensues when the little boy refuses to pay the painter until he completes more works and he has made mad bucks.

The Jews trample all over early modern Spain, and you won't BELIEVE what silly things they think! They've read so many of their own religious ramblings that they actually think THEY are God's chosen people?

How doth the little pedophile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little nymphets in,
With gently smiling jaws!

Achilles (as a harpooner) refuses to lower because of Ahab's monomania.

A man finds himself accused of a crime, the nature of which he cannot certify. Also, the milky way is made of jizz.

>Siddhartha set in Cannery Row.
This could work

The Sun Also Rises?

Yossarian tries to get out of a ridiculous and increasingly fatal whaling expedition.

Captain Ahab's crippling obsession with demapping the White Whale has landed him in Ennet House. He struggles to settle into the recovery program, finding it very difficult to adapt to being on dry land, and so once a week goes for a long night walk through Boston's back alleys to resolve some issues, equipped with a knitting needle attached to a length of string he stole from the House. He comes across stray cats along his route and with the knitting needle harpoons whichever he's chosen to be the one that night. He wraps the string around his hand before casting the needle in case the shot misses or the cat startles away down the alley with the needle impaled. When the feline sperm whale has succumbed and finally stops fighting to dislodge the harpoon, falls still and silent, Ahab bends over the body to pull out his weapon and mutters a subdued "Thar."

The Reform Act is about to happen and her uncle plans to run for office, but he's going to turn into a bird or something. She turns into a tree or something.
He dead husband returns as a shade and demands a sacrifice to unlock the Key to All mythologies,