Have you ever shoplifted food before?

Stole a block of parm and a half stick of pepperoni. Bought a pack of cigs to look normal.

walmart usually has a wagecuck watching over all the self checkouts but I bet you can still get away with it.

I've neglected to correct errors. The biggest one, I didn't notice until I got home, was when a weird cashier at Trader Joe's who spoke like Fred Rogers charged me for only one hand of bananas when I got several. I didn't see him there again. I've since found cheaper banana suppliers.

Hunger as a kid/teenager until we discovered food banks.

My sister and I used to grab a drink and walk around drinking it, than just discard it in an aisle. Always worked but we stopped because we felt bad and we got old enough to realize that it wasn't worth getting not only fined but getting our asses beat if we got caught.

>be at work
>have leftovers from a fundraiser luncheon
>"Cans of pop in employee fridge: donate 50c to the charity before drinking!"
>Get to work pretty early, thirsty for a pop
>Take can of diet Pepsi without donating 50c

Please merciful god forgive me

I have when i've been really drunk. One time I stole a bunch of stupid shit from the mall next to me and got a haircut.

Maybe a year ago I stole a ton of candy bards from a black-owned jewel in chicago because it was piss easy and no one gave a damn.

I still shoplift to this day...There's a knack to it that you learn overtime. You gotta fit in and this involves research into what the average shopper wears. Never lift from the one shop over and over,move around and have a cycle of stores so that you can go back to the same store a month or so later and not get recognised.

You might need props as well depending on where you're at. If you're stealing liquor,it's best to have a sort of casual Saturday night in look so people just think your buying wine for the wife. Also,trucker hats help for when you're in DIY stores.

You gotta learn where all your cameras are. If you're branching out to a new shop,go to it a couple times as a customer (changing clothes each time) pick up items and pretend to be reading the ingredients but actually be scanning the area for cameras. Always have a mental note of what you want when you enter a store. Never steal too much and most importantly,NEVER EVER steal the same item over and over again. Always steal different things everytime you go in.

I pay for big stuff. But canned food,spices,packaged food and drinks I always steal. I've been moving onto clothes and shoes the past couple years and gradually improving. I save on average $1,800 every year

Are you me?

Oh in that case it's not his fault but still drinking and driving is illrgal for a fucking reason

The machines have built in weights and shit and know what you're ringing up when you set them on the scale.
The ringing up organic and regular works like a charm though. Been doing it for years.

But it's an ATV

>
>he doesn't casually push his pinky on the scale to make weight

You're a nigger but it's okay because capitalism is shit.
If you steal from mom & pop stores you deaerve to be drawn and quartered though.

>he doesn't take fancy items and slap cheap alternative stickers over them
Pleb

this is how white people shoplift.

>buy organic heirloom tomatoes in december
>enter code for red delicious apples

>Diet
You're beyond redemption.

I used to steal the cans and bottles from the recycling at my work and get the deposit for them. Used to make like $400 a month until they sent a memo to staff that they were installing cameras in the kitchen.

>see there is a craft beer shipped to the store in cases
>store unpacked about half the cases and left the others on the floor as the base of a display
>notice the UPC for the 6 pack is also printed on each case
>took a case up to check out and it rang up for $8
>got 24 bottles of craft beer for $8

Kinda. Went to college in a part of NY that's very affluent and surrounded by A LOT of commercial stripmalls. Used to go to Hotels pretending I was a guest and eat their continental breakfast(s) on rotation. There are 30+ hotels within a 15min drive of my college apartment...so doing this for 4 years wasn't complicated.

Wagecuck clerks and concierges were too afriad to lose their jobs than confront me. The ONE TIME someone confronted me I pretended to be on the phone and didn't even turn in their direction.

Used to take cereal, yogurts, juices, milks and fruit in an empty messenger bag with me before I left. Always a good time.

Courtyard Marriot, Poughkeepsie was and always will be my favorite place to score free breakfast, haven't done it in a decade though.

Smart. I'm sure you dressed the part too. Good for you. You were getting completely fucked over by the price of university so take some of it back from the kind of people that are giving themselves tax breaks now at our expense.

I come from affluence myself and never paid a dime for education, that's what parents are for. At 33yo I've already saved enough for both of my children to earn PhD degrees, plus 8 years room/board/entertainment. Going to College on borrowed money is retarded.

When I was a broke ass college student I'd steal 30 packs of beer and spices.

>that's what parents are for
Spoken like a true spoiled prick

>having weak parents who can't provide for their offspring.

Awful...just, awful...

>supermarket comes up with this bullshit new system in wich you grab this hard disk with a button when you enter and must press it next to these computers wich will tell you what line to get into or something
>its bullshit
>nobody understands it
>anything with a tag gets redirected to the self checkout
>like ten empty lines
>line of 10 people in self check out
>fuck you
>dont know how to use self check out
>think it only for the object with the tag
>in this case vodka
>scan my vodka and go pay for it with the ticket the machine printed
>have to do the line again, first line was for scanning
>my turn they only charge me the vodka
>could have said something but fuck that supermarket
>ended up paying less than half of my total purchase

did you pay for the haircut?

this is why you are poor

as a kid i used to ride my bike to vons grocery store and would order a bag of potato wedges for like $2.40/pound at the deli and i'd order a pound of tendies(like $6) and put the tendies in the bag of wedges and throw the other bag away in an empty aisle. did that a bunch of times, cashier couldn't tell the difference.

I used to be kind of a klepto. I stole literally anything, there was a point where I would never go into a store without stealing something, you can imagine food was on that list.

I probably had value into the thousands worth of stuff, one time I stole artificial lemon flavoring ffs.

I got caught stealing alcohol from the supermarket, which was quite honestly retarded and shitty supermarket tier beer tastes like shit, but for someone under 21 it was a hard target haha

it wasn't always just shoplifting, if you've ever played the game thief I used to do pretty much the same type of shit garret did

I do this almost everytime I go shopping. Nothing better then walking out of the store with free stuff.

i also steal tiny amounts of food from my housemates so they don't notice.

There are a lot of tricks you can use. personally I take a big 10 dollar bag of potatoes, and put 40 dollars worth of meat in there, once a week in 11 different stores.

None of them have found out and it's saving me up to 250 bucks a month.

I shoplifted a bunch of times, I'd fill up cloth bags and walk out. The one time I got caught was with just a chocolate bar. I ran like the wind.

Jesus man......... why did you tell the last part? fuuuuck

>13 years old
>was a gentle boy
>my two best friends challenged me to steal something
>decided I was now 13, and had to start becoming a real man
>wanted to prove I'm not a pussy
>walked into a garage sized mom and pop store
>started sweating and shaking
>ask the cashier with a stuttering voice if I could get one of those fancy tin boxes with assorted cookies
>she turns around to grab a stool because it was on the highest shelf behind her
>grabbed an apple that was on my left
>started running as if my life depended on it
>friends said it didn't count because it's just an apple

I've never stole again, that was not fair.

You painted your nails black and hit medieval guardsmen over the head with a blackjack?

When I was younger I used to get pissed off at some shit being so cheap that it wasn't even worth ringing up at the register. That 20 cent little knob of ginger? That 12 cent hot pepper? I'm not even going to waste my time paying for that shit. I'll just put it in my pocket and pay for the shit that actually costs money, That's how I used to think.

My parents paid for my education too and have being very supportive, but the way you worded it made it sound like they are just drones for your own sustenance and nothing more

get a load of this faggot

why what will that do

1st grade
shoplifted a 10 cent bag of sunflower seeds

>go through period a few years ago of mental illness
>crazy waves of anxiety and paranoia
>end up jobless and living in my car for a bit
>one day sitting in car
>start craving imitation crab meat
>ive always loved the stuff but this craving is intense
>convince myself that brain is lacking some nutrient in crab meat that it needs to function properly
>walk into grocery store
>grab 4 of 5 packages of imitation crab sticks
>look around and stroll into bathroom
>sit on toilet in stall and scarf it all down
>realize i have to destroy the evidence
>flush all the wrappers down toilet
>it clogs and starts overflowing
>powerwalk out of store and never return

I'm much better now. I still eat a lot of imitation crab meat , but I don't think that has much to do with my mental state.

so you just get offended on their behalf?
wew are are the biggest faggot i have seen on this board

When I was like 8 I stole a nickel piece of bubble gum from the corner store. I went back like a week later and put $15 in the take a penny pool like a retard.

Then you got both your arms broken, to get taught a lesson, because you're a slav.

your the reason the good steaks have rfid on them now

none of those

Too lazy to look for the story, but in slav land a vending machine owner noticed money were routinely being stolen from one of his machines, then he caught a kid doing it, put him in his truck, drove to the forest, broke both his arms with a metal pole, and possibly did other things to him that I don't remember, and left him there.

Don't steal anons.

No... because it comes back to you and eventually you will pay

>Walk into supermarket
>pick up a loaf of bread and an energy drink
>walk out of store
Be clean, neat and tidy in your appearance, avoid hoodies, large jackets or hats.
Don't loiter around.
Walk with confidence
Go in when it's busy

And yea you can basically walk in grab whatever the fuck you want and walk out without anyone batting an eye at you. I even went to the front counter to buy cigarettes with my stolen goods before and was questioned "did you buy these"? I looked her in the eyes and replied with "yes" and she was all good.
My backup excuse was I didn't get a receipt from the self serve counter.

Also, don't be black.

How about not stealing and getting good karma?

>be 15
>out doing parkour in ~38C weather with a friend
>go all out, tired as fuck and almost dying
>go buy some water
>on the way realize my coins fell out of my pocket while jumping around
>friend has no money
>so desperate for water we start devising a plan on how to steal a bottle
>almost commit but realize stealing is for niggers, and we can't hang like that
>walking around about to die
>see a milf walking towards us carrying a big sack
>it's all filled with water bottles she's taking to her theater set
>she notices we're dying and hands us four bottles

God might exist guys.

>I still eat a lot of imitation crab meat , but I don't think that has much to do with my mental state.
Ummmm, that could be debated.

>tfw the steak botnet wants me to starve

post of the year

I never have but I always wanted to. The urge is kind of building in me. Apparently my grandmother was a klepto and when I was an infant she would use me as her accomplice, hiding things within my baby blanket etc.

user, next time take a can opener and eat the real canned crab instead of the fake stuff

yes obviously

thanks for the blog post brah

Is that you?

I did in high school. Walmart had just deployed self-checkouts in my area, which meant employees weren't fully trained for them and the machines themselves weren't completely set up (ie. weight sensors not tuned or calibrated). I would usually get multi-packs of energy drinks and cover the box's UPC with something small like a pack of gum so the machine would register the gum instead.

Holy shit

That's older than the internet

Im 11

Wanna meet up?

ahem....

its only on the overpriced steaks no one buys anyway. Theyre always on special, thats the only time people buy them

>had just been prescribed lots of xanax + other meds
>been feeling invincible ever since
>got away with A LOT
>start stealing from Walmart
>memorize camera locations,
>shove stuff in my bag, go to the bathroom then stick it in my pants just in case
>like 6months go by
>eventually caught with $34 worth of merchandize
>JUST turned 18, so charged
>court gives me the option of community service, or jail for 10 days to have my record expunged
>chose jail
>harassed by black people for 10 days over stuff I didn't even want

I'm confused, are you saying I have to work hard to feed other people than my immediate family? Are you just manblobing around until UBI saves you from being a pathetic autist? It'll only be a reality to out great grandchildren.

>mfw you'll never get paid actualbuxx sitting around doing nothing and will have to survive on NEETbuxx rations.

The 1st of the month is almost here foodstamp bro.

Stole some chocolate bars and the like when I was a kid. Friends and I used to call it the pocket rule: "If it fits in your pocket you don't pay for it." We were dipshits.

Used to steal whatever was on the receipts i found i the trash outside shops and return it for cash. Then i would buy hash and ciggerets.

I was like 3 at the time and I knew that stealing was wrong but my parents never told me not to do it so I figured I could do it once then get the talk and get off scott free. Well I stole a chocolate bar and it played out exactly as I thought it would.

I think it was a Mr Big or Oh Henry. Something with a yellow wrapper. How I remember this and thought that way as a child is beyond me.

I mainly steal spices and shit, small shit I can fit into my pocket like whole nutmegs or a tube of tomato paste.

If I'm particularly ballsy I'll ride my bike to the store and fill a backpack with expensive liquor or any other big things.

In both scenarios I still buy a decent load of groceries, just the small expensive shit is free, in the case of the bike/backpack right after buying my groceries I pack them into my backpack to take suspicion off of me.

Mainly done at the nearby grocer without any obvious Loss Prevention(LP), I only know of cameras and they only check those if they're given a reason

Protip from someone who works in a supermarket: we know. It's just a matter of whether or not we care that day.

What's the best way to get away with it?

Be nice, don't be suspicious, especially don't be seen

no shit

Yes, exactly, there's really nothing to it.

fun

Damn...

In highschool everyday after football practice my friends and I would grab bags of fried chicken, pinwheels (chocolate marshmallow things), energy drinks, a few boxes of napkins, and sit down in the middle of one of the aisles and consume all of it. We'd leave all the wrappers and packaging there too, I have no idea how we were never remotely confronted.

I also used to buy things like paper towels, and stuff beef jerky in the rolls of it. I would take really anything, definitely am forgetting a lot... A few times I got bored with not being caught so I stuffed around 10 packs of (obviously loud) tic tacs in my socks+shorts and carried out a case of vitaminwater--the manager ran around the store trying to get me but I got away every time.

A protip is that if you ever see someone stealing, call them out on it. Projecting works on retards who works at grocery stores. It's always the person who the retarded people in charge of safeguarding the inventory least suspect.

I'm a self-made multimillionaire now too btw, probably shouldn't be but meh what are you gonna do.

Yes, this is truly the biggest protip for shoplifting.

He stole the haircut

I was raised as a good Protestant boy who went to church every Sunday and Boy Scouts every Friday. I've never shoplifted before in my life. I'm a disenchanted agnostic now, and I still disapprove of stealing.

I stole a pot from a restaurant.

I still steal like 5 lbs of almond meal every other month by writing it up as corn meal in the self check out line.
Niggas gon nig

The parents are the ones that should be in jail. Preferably forever.

>ride my bike in the store
the fuck?

Only when really drunk.

Nice
What are they going to do, call the cops for stealing heir weed?

The parents of the child should be sterilized

Only in that weird state where you should have hangover but you're actually still plastered as fuck. Just to see if I can.