Kitchen Pranks

>go to medicine cabinet
>switch all the pills that look similar
>LOL

>be in kitchen
>cook excellent meal for family
>anxious for them to take a bite
>they enjoy it
>I am satisfied with said meal

fucking hilarious every time hahah

Fartsniffer detected

>visit friend's house
>dump out their vodka
>pour rubbing alcohol into vodka bottle
>put back of shelf

they will go blind with laughter

LOCK ME UP!

>go to friends house
>see alcoholic beverages
>NOPE.AVI
>pour out vodka replace it with water
>pour out dark liquors replace with tea
>pour out wine and replace with juicy-juicy
>recap and bottle everything
>leave note saying ">drinking 2012+5 shiggidigitydoodad, more epic me mes at Veeky Forums.org !"

>be cooking for muslim vegetarian friend
>only cook vegetables
>use bacon grease to oil all pans and for seasoning
>friend raves about what a great cook i am

tell your wife's son?

Always check inside oven before turning it on.

Keep a power outage indicator in your freezer. It can be something a small bottle with optionally colored ice at the top, or a cup of ice with a penny on top.

>Keep a power outage indicator in your freezer. It can be something a small bottle with optionally colored ice at the top, or a cup of ice with a penny on top.

I never thought of it before, but is there a way to make sleeping pills using over the counter ingredients?

...for tickle time?

Half bottle or so usually does the trick in that recipe

No, he does get the tendies.

Am I the only one who checks their oven every time they turn it on to preheat? Sometimes I leave pans in there.

Medical facilities use the penny trick.

Any reasonably cautious adult does.

Nice.

TIL I'm not a reasonably cautious adult. I also don't use my parking break every time I park

Holy Jesus. Not only do I use my parking brake, and set the transmission in low gear, I chock the rear wheels front and back. I can't believe you dont take the necessary precautions... That's just reckless.

>TIL

Fuck off

That's fine, but I'm told the transmission can get wrecked if something crashes into your car parked that way. My parking break doesn't stop it moving under idle power. Is it broken?

Do you at least walk around and then check your lights before leaving home? I do. But not in spoopy grocery store parking lots.

>Do you at least walk around and then check your lights before leaving home?

Only before I drink and drive. Can't take chances then.

I do. Not because I store shit in it but the wife does. She's the same kind of retard who uses my sharp as hell prep knife to cut shit up on a plate because she didn't want to dirty a cutting board. Women are proof god doesn't exist. He could not be omnipotent and so retarded.

To be fair, just as many men are that shit. My dad cuts stuff on plates and even counters. His previous countertop had a slight upward curve at the edge and was covered with knife marks. He still bleeds sometimes cutting towards his thumb not his chum with dull knives.

>but I'm told the transmission can get wrecked if something crashes into your car parked that way

It can. It can also get damaged simply from using it that way. When you put an automatic transmission into "park" mode the only thing stopping the car from moving is a tiny little piece of metal the size of single green pea. It can easily wear out and/or break.

>>My parking break doesn't stop it moving under idle power. Is it broken?
Yes.

Cook a crane in the kitchen sink. It will take a mattress to get the smell out.

>melatonin pills
does this turn her into a black person?

no one would ever take such pills

That's melanin you're thinking of. Melatonin is the hormone that regulates your sleep cycle, an excess of which makes you very drowsey.

>tape a bunch of coins to the ceiling of microwave since it's a bit low and you can't see the top
>wait for friend to cook something in it.

> boil the pet bunny in soup pot on stove
> wait for cheating husband to come home with a butcher knife in your hand

Good times

>visit someone's house
>put their cast iron pans in the dishwasher

>Visit someones house
>Snag their credit card and debit cards and max them all out buying them top tier pans and dishes

kek

>visit someone's house
>cook them food, make it seem good
>make a shitload of dirty dishes
>make sure at least 1 cast iron skillet is among them
>be a good friend and clean them all
>scrub the living fuck out of the cast iron, wash it with soap at least twice, throw it in the dishwasher

haha that'll sure get 'em

ITT: kitchen jesters

>cook dinner for guests
>tell them all ingredients are organic
>really not organic

YOU SAVAGE. THIS IS TOO MUCH

>sneak animal products into "vegan" meals

Never gets old

I sometimes leave pans in my oven, but they're all oven safe.

>invite best friends and family over for dinner
>serve my favourite best recipies
>lock the doors and windows when no oneis looking
>club each guest in the head with 14" cast iron dutch oven
>set house on fire
>????
>profit

Ivpull this prank every Christmas

Switch all their cutting boards with glass, and buy them those ceramic knives that never need sharpening.

At university i put a live pigeon in the oven - while it was off of course - to prank the next person to open it. Later that day it was gone but no one mentioned it.

>pour out wine and replace with juicy-juicy
>juicy-juicy

RIPigeon

>cause property damage
>"it was just a prank bro"

Is this really how some people think?

i don't condone tickle time but Melatonin is OTC

Replace juicy-juicy with your mum,then we'll drink each others juices.

>wrap a rubber band around the sink hose
>the next person who tries to use the sink gets squirted/bamboozled

Did this to my mom once. She woke up and went downstairs for water at like 3am.
The next thing I remember is waking up to a vicious beating.

>>scream "JUST A PRANK BRO"

DEAD MEME

>the sink hose

3rd world poster confirmed

>being so poor he doesnt have a sink hose

>be guest in someone's house
>disconnect all smoke detectors in the vicinity of the kitchen
>4 months later kitchen is destroyed when due to fire from unattended cooking
>"GOT YOU GOOD BRAH!"

>get invited for dinner
>don't show up

>say I'm making porkribs for dinner
>invite whole family over
>I bring out the tray
>it's pork chops

LOCK ME UP

When I was in 7th grade, some kids broke into the school over the weekend and did that in the science labs.

Maybe if you finish high school and go to college. You can get a good job and then afford a house that has a sink hose. You can then proudly invite your parents over to marvel at your sink hose.

you'd be surprised
vibe.com/2017/06/white-woman-turns-black/

also
>putting laxatives in food

go on
so did it explode like the cartoons?

Don't knock Heloise, yo. That shit is pretty clever.
>I own an older copy of this book I picked up from a thrift store

Most science lab gas valves only send gas when a hose is connected.

not a kitchen prank but

>buy tomatoes and shit from walmart
>take them to farmer's market and call them organic
>triple my money

>Go to someone's house
>Stab them in the back with a knife
>haha

The beating is funnier than the prank

>House that gets sold every year on the block
>Usually young couples that buy it since it sells for so cheap
>Heard it was haunted
>Heard that the Victorian house had a crematory in the basement hence the cheap price
>Always bring new owners a nice basket of carrot hemlock cake, freshly baked and irresistible
I never understand why they just can't stay long enough to be friendly neighbors.

Shit in there food

If you hate women so much why are you married?

>Invite everyone over for dinner
>Ask them what they're cooking when they show up

>invite new friends I have barely any connection to over to house for dinner and wine party
>Immediately serve everybody a shot of liquor with a bit of rohypnol
>Take them all to my butcher shop the next county over
>slaughter and check the quality of the meat after a bit of butchering
>take the prime cuts back home with me and give the choice cuts to the homeless population
>regarded as town hero

Lost.

ImAFuckingChild.mpeg

I leave my skillet of used deep frying oil in there.