This guy is growing in my yard will I die if I eat it?

This guy is growing in my yard will I die if I eat it?

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mushroomexpert.com/amanita_muscaria_guessowii.html
mykoweb.com/TFWNA/P-17.html
mushroomexpert.com/
mykoweb.com/index.html
youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Buy the ticket, take the ride.

no, google mushroom nutrition on google this is an un ripe red white spore you are looking at.

i've heard being poisoned by toadstools is one of the most agonizing deaths imaginable.

and if you survive, you'll have severe organ damage. you'll be blind and need dialysis for you're remaining days.

He looks mean

just kidding ur ded if u eat it.

I doubt it's worse than being bit by a brown recluse on the back of the neck.

mushroomexpert.com/amanita_muscaria_guessowii.html

Thanks for your help punk ass. I found out I just need to parboil it and I'll get a gentle trip.

It will be extremely painful.

i wish i had a yard...
-long cock

will op post pics of him eating it?

When its ripe. I'll give it 3 more days first, boil it and eat it. Just for you

It would be extremely painful.

Listen to the meme kiddies.
It would be fucking agonizing.

for you

Assuming it's amanita muscaria, you're not going to want to eat it. It's not the classic psilocybin trip. You're probably gonna barf, and have stomach issues. I don't know anyone who's done it before, wanting to do it again.

Mushrooms are extremely hard to ID. So many varieties that even experts have poisoned themselves.

Amanita Muscaria is relatively safe unless you consume more than 6 shrooms in a single sitting.

The trip can be horrible though, it's nothing like a normal magic mushroom.
The reason Amanitas have their reputation is because the trip is generally experienced as horrific.

Muscarias are physically pretty safe.

Muscarias aren't.

This.

It's not worth it.

If you prepare it right you can get the trip shit out of it and it tastes pretty good.
But don't eat it raw because it's not a fun trip.

>google mushroom nutrition on google
>google on google
As opposed to googling elsewhere. Speaking of, is "google" an actual verb yet

I googled google as a verb on google and apparently in 2006 the OED added google as a verb but you can only google via google, you can't google something on ask jeeves, for example.

Thanks for googling that google information for me, user. Now I can google my google searches on google with confidence in my google knowledge.

ask a local mushroom expert or take a sporeprint and post it on Shroomery. Never eat a mushroom unless you're 150% sure what species it is, or will happen to you. You can die an agonizing death in days or hours if you eat a poisonous one.

Mycoanon here to answer your retarded questions.

Looks to be Amanita flavorubescens. You shouldn't eat it. That being said, I don't actually care if you eat it.

You're retarded and shouldn't give mushroom advice because you know nothing.

Depends on the mycotoxin. Most common killer in my area is alpha amanitin, sourced from mushrooms in the genera Amanita, Conocybe, and Galerina. It inhibits RNA polymerase two, grinding your RNA production (and thus protein synthesis) to a halt. Death is caused by liver failure, because your liver cells require renewal very quickly. Can't make any more after the enzyme inhbition, so that goes first. Symptoms are severe stomach pain, multi-orifice bleeding, and then a brief improvement in symptoms before you relapse and die. Honorable mentions as far as horrific deaths go: Cortinarin (this kills the kidneys), Paxillus toxin (acute hemolytic anemia), and coprine (non lethal, but will make you wish you were dead if you mix it with alcohol).

You're a fungi

It's probably not Amanita muscaria var. guessowii, that usually has pretty distinct white warts.

It's much more difficult than, say, birds or trees for sure. A microscope is required for much of it.

>Muscarias arent [hard to ID].
Careful. That's possibly not a muscaria. See above.

>Muscarias are physically pretty safe.
Some individual mushrooms have been found to contain fatal levels of muscarine.

A correction: replace cortinarin with orellanine. I'm a faggot who doesn't proofread.

post your favorite 'rooms

mine is enoki
you probably won't find it at a regular grocery store, but asian markets will have it

It's crazy what high CO2 conditions will do to a mushroom's shape. Wild Flammulina Velutipes is a beautiful peach-colored mushroom.

That is awful purdy.

This one is closely related to OP's pic. The main difference is that it's scrotum colored.

>purdy
nigga you aint seen shit yet.
>Pictured: Lactarius indigo, edible

Entoloma abortivum parasitizing Armillaria mellea
both are edible, and the resulting mushroom tumor is also edible.

Coprinus comatus, edible

Strobilomyces strobilaceus, edible

Hericium erinaceus, edible and tastes vaguely of shellfish

May be edible, but it looks like the colloquialism for those is something along the lines of "Doom Shroom". Would not eat. Probably causes intestinal implosion.

How about an innocuous looking one that can kill you, user?

Paxillus involutus, edible upon first consumption but has a chance to become deadly on each subsequent consumption.

>Edible upon first consumption but has a stacking debuff
Nigga why are mushrooms video game potions?

The way it works is actually pretty crazy. Every time you eat it, you have a chance of developing antibodys in your blood. These antibodies, once developed, will react with the antigens in the mushroom the next time you eat it, and the antigen-antibody complexes will bind to your blood cells and cause your body to mistake them for foreign invaders and you are killed by your own immune system breaking your blood cells down.

tl;dr: you eat the mushroom too many times and you have an allergic reaction to your own blood and die.

>Pictured: Psilocybe semilanciata, edible (psychoactive)

Amanita ocreata, deadly toxic

Cantharellus cinnabarina, edible and delicious

This is a solid fungus thread. Good job mycoanons.

Used to pick similar ones back in highschool from cow pastures. It just rained the other day, hmmm

Proud to serve.

Good luck user, here's a picture to get you in the mood.

Pictured: Conocybe filaris, the hippie-slayer, deadly poisonous

keep posting delicious fungi pls

The other hippie-slayer, Galerina autumnalis, deadly poisonous

I'll switch back to edible shrooms now, I just happened to see those in my folder when cowpoop user posted

Sparassis crispa, edible and has the texture and taste of egg noodles.

Lactarius deliciosus. It's name is accurate.

>hippie slayer

kek

Generally the dead giveaway aside from how they look was how they squeeze/bruise purple. This girl I used to fugg in college now grows and hunts for shrooms and sells them to fancy restaurants and at markets and shit, neat stuff. She and her husband didn't even study mycology.

Amanita caesaria.

Edible, but easy to confuse with deadlier Amanitas. Tastes kinda metallic, but YMMV. Wouldnt recommend, necessarily.

If you're hunting for specific species, they generally arent too hard to spot once you learn how to distinguish them from the mimics. An old scandinavian lady probably knows fuck all about mycology, but would never confuse a chanterelle with an omphalotus.

Rozites caperata
10/10 edible, easily one of my favorites.

Most Fungi looked weird to me as a kid, remembered when me and my friend would go into the forest and stomp the shit out of all mushrooms.
He's gay now.

Mushrooms are beautiful, and delicious, but I'm going to be honest, nothing out there in mother nature triggers my "this shit looks dangerous, do not consume it" natural instinct more than them.

If I were a caveman, I'd probably run away from them screaming like a baboon. Thankfully I can safely order them on my pizza.

>He's gay now

This one's for him, user. Phallus impudicus.
Inedible, but your friend might try anyways.

What, user, doesnt this look appetizing to you?
Boletus frostii
edibility: ???

Gliophorus psittacinus, the parrot mushroom. Inedible, like most things that are mirror glazed.

Morels. Morels. Deadly poisonous. They can kill you just by looking at you. If you see any, tell me and then vacate the area. For your safety. They're mine.

Armillaria mellea. Honey mushrooms Will infect and parasitize entire forests at once and are devastating to the local ecosystem.
They are edible, however.

...

Most of the common edibles are fairly easy to identify if you are not a fucking retard, so most of you would have extreme difficulty.

I'm just trying to protect you, user.

Pictured: Entoloma hochstetterei. Native to kiwiland. Restores 40 MP. (inedible, IIRC)

Craterellus odoratus. Edible, like all chanterelles, but rare enough that you would make a collector sad if you actually ate it.

>found my first chanterelles on the side of a hill
>found my first truffle completely by accident
>enjoyed lobster mushrooms all through fall
>now fucking hooked on mushrooms but fucking missed morel season (have never had one) because i'm working my ass off

Get some dried, user. They reconstitute well.

Clavaria zollingeri. Inedible, but pretty enough for your pinterest page you fucking faggot.

Leucocoprinus birnbaumii. Poisonous, but will inevitably show up in your soil pots anyways if you grow your own herbs.

Boletus regineus
Edible and tasty, but the californians are hogging them all to themselves, the pricks.

Gyroporus cyanescens
Edible and turns neon blue when you slice it in half, although some toxic boletes do the same thing. Buyer beware.

Agaricus campestris. The closest thing you're probably gonna find to a wild portobello. Delicious, but not recommended for beginners, you'll kill yourself on a destroying angel.

How easy is shroom farming? Is it easy to work with spores? Would I need to worry about crosspollination with poisonous local shrooms? How well do they do in each season, shroom dude?

Solid thread mycoanon. Didn't know I had a passive curiosity about fucking mushrooms.

isn't the ink cap mushroom the one where you can't have it with alcohol?

Who ate all these mushrooms to see if they were poisonous or not, sucks to be that dude.

Where can I read more about all the wonderful mushrooms that grow outside where I never go, this shit is interesting

Depends on the species. Decomposers like oysters (Pleurotus ostreatus) and hericium are piss easy, mycorrhizal species like chanterelles and truffles are pretty much impossible. Spores generally come in a liquid-filled syringe when you order them, makes it simple to inoculate whatever kind of substrate you have available. I'd recommend indoor growing, you've got much more control over growth conditions there so seasons don't really matter. All of this is secondhand information, though. I prefer to pick wild mushrooms.

It's a relatively young science. It'd be cool to get more people interested.

Funny thing about that. The genus Coprinus was named after the mycotoxin, coprine, which makes you sick when combined with alcohol. But thanks to faggots using DNA sequencing to rearrange mushroom genera on their genetic relationships, there are no longer any coprine-containing inkcaps in coprinus. So now, all the toxic ink caps are in the genus Coprinopsis, and the type species (meaning, the species that best exemplifies the defining characteristics of the genus) of Coprinus is the completely harmless Coprinus comatus, the ink cap pictured in one of my posts above. Go figure.

Thanks to modern chemistry, you don't have to eat them to find out if they're toxic. We've got all sorts of chemical tests now to see what toxins are in a mushroom.
mykoweb.com/TFWNA/P-17.html
As a small example.

mushroomexpert.com/
mykoweb.com/index.html

Both very good sites, but I prefer mushroomexpert. Guy who writes it has a very entertaining writing style, and mykoweb only deals with California fungi. Both are great resources though.

...

You're gonna die either way, it's only a matter of time. Better take the initiative and do yourself in like a man- multiple organ failure via mycotoxins.

dibs on his wallet

I like the flavor but the texture is always very stringy. It always shows up whole in my poop. Weird.

chew your food you goddamned animal

Did you just assume that shroom's gender?

haha it looks like a bumpy penis

its just a prank bro

> This guy is growing in my yard will I die if I eat it?

Just eat it, I'm sure you'll be fine. Take a picture of how you're going to cook it too.

Might one be able to purchase these exotic mushrooms on the internet?

That one does look delicious tho.

Beautiful

unlikely. they can't be grown commercially. If you know of a market that sells wild mushrooms, you're far more likely to find chanterelles there. They ain't cheap, though. Lactarius indigo is easy enough to find, though. Look near conifers east of the rocky mountains in, say, late summer or early fall.

fuck off

Humans always ate these little bitches so you should be save

For you

Looks like the US version of amanita muscaria. If you dry it out, crush into a powder, and decarboxylate in an oven at a low temperature, you can then eat or make a tea of the powder. The high is sort of like 'nitrous oxide meets alcohol'.

You should confirm identity, of course, by doing a sport print and checking the gills and base and such. Some Amanita family mushrooms will wreck your shit (Destroying Angel etc).

> Drop car off at dealership to get maintenance done
> Get bored, start walking through woods behind dealership
> Find chantarelles
> Go back for maintenance the next year
> Find morels

10/10 glad I bought toyota

Broccoli is a domesticated form of cabbage. Of course people have eaten it for generations

>Looks like the US version of amanita muscaria.

No it does not. The coloration of the warts is wrong.

Sorry, you've triggered my autism, and I have to mention:
>spore print
>gills
>volva

None of these things would help separate A. muscaria from A. flavorubescens.

So, which mushroom is the easiest to pick without risking killing myself? Talking about a mushroom which can be clearly identified by a retard and is edible

These questions are difficult to answer without your geographical location.

Did Fox McCloud feed them to his gay dinosaur sidekick in Staffox Adventures?

Like the first user said, hard to know without knowing where you are

Second, the big issue is that lots of safe mushrooms have nearly identical looking deadly cousins

>Second, the big issue is that lots of safe mushrooms have nearly identical looking deadly cousins

There are many beginner species that look absolutely nothing like anything else that's toxic. I've got a few in mind, but I need user's location.

How has nobody posted this yet?

youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

I'm not the original user but out of curiosity what would be available in the east Texas region?

This is Veeky Forums

He's broke and his money is in bitcoin anyway (dibs his laptop)