I'm sure that at one time this world we live in was once beautiful. Brutal sure, but beautiful. And sometimes as I sit at my cubicle which isn't really a cubicle, just a painted white desk made of cheap compressed wood and half dividers on either side that give you the illusion of privacy but don't do a goddamn thing, I would sit there and wonder what the world was like when it was wide open with the unknown. A world without highways or selfies. A world without bankers or lawyers or insurance salesmen. A world without bills and divorces and taxes. A world where you would wake up when the sun rises and go to sleep when the stars poked through the thick black canvas of night. Where you would have your woman and your children and your fire and that's all you cared about. That's all you needed to worry about. That's all you needed to protect. Now you protect your credit score, your mileage, your data, your tongue. If the world was new and beautiful I wouldn't be some angst riddled desk jockey I would be different. I would be a goddamn alpha to roam a world so vast that I would have to make up stories about gods to fill in the blanks of things I didn't understand. I would lose myself in this fantasy and find happiness but then the phone would ring and I would be ripped from that little vacation inside my head. I would then deal with the irate customer and lie to him or her about why their piece of shit internet service was slower than what they signed up for. 'Miss I need you to calm down, those online speed test are just not accurate. Yes I can transfer you to the supervisor but it will be a fifteen minute wait he's in a meeting. Please hold.'
Day in day out for ten bucks an hour I have the privilege to lie to my fellow countrymen. The soulless husks of what used to be people at HR listens to my phonecalls like the fucking gestapo and if I lie well enough and polite enough they will give me a amazon gift card for fifty bucks. Sometimes when I day dream I think about saving up a bunch of those gift cards and then buy a rifle equipped with drum magazine and tactical vest and walk into this hell hole and lay waste to every empty eyed lackey I that I crossed. Then when the cops show up I would go down in a blaze of glory with a goddamn smile on my face. But then I remember that amazon doesn't sell guns, or ammo, or drum magazines and then decide to buy some bullshit instead. Four amazon gift cards received four piece of shit video games bought for my PS4.
My cubicle neighbors are a fat blue haired gash on my right and a effeminate “straight” white guy who likes scarves and tea on my left. I try my best not to converse with either of them for each time I do I either have to push down bile or rage. Their favorite pastimes are complaining about things that don't effect them and sharing shitty memes from facebook with each other. Which they do by texting each other and then barking out laughs and having a conversation about it and I'm stuck in the middle of this awful exchange. I have asked my boss many times to change cubicles somewhere away from this nightmare but he shakes his head and says that he doesn't want to mess up a good thing and that maybe my stellar phone answering skills will falter if I'm away from the two social justice champions. Sometimes they ask my opinion on things and I try to give the best non answer that I can come up with. But mostly they talk past me about how bad Trump is and how illegal immigrants are Americans too while I envision which route I would take if China invaded in order to become the most efficient guerrilla warrior.
Charles Bailey
The only solace I get while at work is the three smoke breaks which is one more than my last job at Target. I smoke my cig and shoot the shit with some guy named Dave who works on the other side of the cubicle bank and we talk about how we hope Trump keeps his promise about bringing back manufacturing because we're a half step away from torching this fucker down. But we really weren't. We were more like a couple miles away. Then we would move on and joke about how ugly and stupid our cubicle neighbors are and how hot the three conventionally average women were that worked in the center of the cubicle bank and how one day we're just gonna get up from our chairs and go over to them and say something suave and they would just immediately get on their knees and suck our dicks. Dave is a good guy and a good work friend. But I'll be damned if I hang out with him after work. When my nine hours are up I don't want to be reminded of this fucking hell hole in any such way. But if I ever got married he would be invited to the reception. He's a good guy.
After I am released from that prison I retreat back to my humble abode which is a one bedroom apartment on the outskirts of the city where the black people don't live. I don't have a cat because they give people brain parasites and smell like shit. I don't have a dog because it would become a retard from staying in its cage all day. So I have fish. Got a redbelly catfish from South America and I think that's pretty cool, my friends like it when I feed it people food. Everyday once I get home I do the same thing, I feed Caligula the catfish, I grab a beer and a joint, then sit down on the couch and exhale all the bullshit. Then the real fun begins, if I feel like playing my PS4 I play it. If if feel like shitposting on my laptop, I shitpost. If I feel like fuckin, I go on tinder and if all there is to offer is fat white chicks with half breed children looking for a relationship rather than a quick bang, then I jerk off. Which is more often than I'd like to admit. My life isn't lonely. I have friends that come over to get drunk and I have friends online to play video games and talk about politics.
But deep in my soul. All I want from my life is purpose, and in this wasteland of brainless service career paths I'm having a hard time. Maybe purpose isn't what I truly want. Maybe all I want is it to all fall apart. For society to peel apart at the seems and unleash an uncontrollable chaos which leaves people hanged from lampposts. Where paper dollars are just mere tinder and the main currency after the first couple weeks is food, batteries, women, and cigarettes. A world that is blown upon again by nuclear fire and massive sun flares. A hard reset so I can be something other than a man almost thirty that answers phones and tolerates endless bullshit in order to live in a one bedroom apartment.
Fuck this.
Jack King
I like it. Very comfy. And exemplifies the mindset. Nice job.
Jose Ross
is this supposed to be wrong?
sounds like /pol/ is right again!
Camden Morris
...
Jeremiah Long
bump
Colton Myers
the guy in your story is right, you know
Leo Scott
TL;DR: polacks are low status males
Easton Wright
>go on Veeky Forums >don't know how to read
Easton Hall
Shit, I'm happy that I grew out of this when I got into college. Guys like this keep blaming society like a teenager instead of doing stuff and be happy. I like what you wrote though. If it's supposed to grow/ be longer I'd recommend not to spoil the 'I only seek purpose'-thing because that's what a story about the guy would be all about I think.
Caleb Brown
I'm thinking of making it a bit bigger. Maybe a short story and ending it with that. Thanks for reading it and giving input.
Jose Bennett
Right?! Just be a nihilistic hedonist like everyone else. Stupid idealistic kids.
Jordan Hall
I liked this. I thought it was good.
Isaac Sullivan
Ebin. You know that you don't have to be either a bitter sad cunt who plays vidya all day and curses the world for not being like the one in resident evil or a normie with no perspective and goals in life, right?
Luis Roberts
It's good.
>Testosterone levels have reduced to 25% of what they were a century ago. The effects of this alone. Then you add all the other things. Being born to a world that demands your submission to whatever fool thinks they deserve it, because of events they don't know about. Events they don't remember, and events they definitely didn't experience. Be it jews, women, blacks, muslims, trannies, gays...
Have you lived a year of your life where they didn't get everything they ever asked for?
I have witnessed two events that went against them in my entire lifespan. Trump and Brexit.
Aaron Sanders
You understand that people do have standards of what the world should be right?
Jaxson Ross
>Testosterone levels have reduced to 25% of what they were a century ago.
Source for this?
Kevin Foster
It's inside one type of /pol/acks head, but they don't sound like a typical fascist to me.
Dominic Jones
Then we have Edward Bernays, Freudian psychoanalysis and its effects - mass consumption culture. We have socialism; the state will handle the problems, not you. This means that school bullying is to be just reported. It solves nothing. I got a teacher in trouble because he handled a situation... I had to fight. I saw so many others who didn't or couldn't.
But girls.. They just looked in awe. The winner, they wanted the winner. Me or the other, him or another. The boys look away. Craven.
Disgusting. I want nothing to do with them.
But how good is the good that keeps us around? It is the greatest. It is friendship. It is family. It is God.
But how wrong can it be to want more out of this world? You see something, you grab it. It told you it was the solution. It failed. Ideology changes like clothes. Where do we stand? A stream of frogs laugh at it all, or hate it all. It would be nice to be like them.
I don't want a world of cp. But apparently pedos don't exist until caught by the police. All else is 'conspiracy theory' and automatically wrong.
OP, you're missing the white rage dancing with the black rage. Terms are not related to race.
Why do you think /pol/ takes the side of the bullied? Take a look at how media treats people. Trump, Nigel, you. Hitler, Christ.
We don't like lies. We like to see things. Because we know what it is that blindness causes.
Nolan Cook
I checked my source. It was a clickbait title. Sorry for that.
But the reduction is apparent, that's why I took numbers so seriously.
Jackson Brooks
It'd be interesting if OP expanded on this by having different chapters in the mindset of different types of /pol/acks. They could maybe all meet up eventually or something. Also, I'd like to see what his work buddy Dave is thinking, and maybe some of the guy's friends too. His liberal coworkers could have some amusing chapters too, as long as they were kept somewhat from just being cartoon characters.
Aaron Anderson
You're not writing from the perspective of that person you're writing from your perspective letting them say not what they believe and how they regard themselves but what you believe about them and how poorly you think of them.
Jonathan Nelson
I don't work in a call center and I don't have a friend named dave.
Aaron Bennett
>Their favorite pastimes are complaining about things that don't effect them "affect"
Wyatt Stewart
You didn't understand what I said.
Austin Price
>Correcting grammar in a Uzbeki uranium mining forum "Faggot"
Carson Thomas
>The soulless husks of what used to be people at HR listens to my phonecalls like the fucking gestapo and if I lie well enough and polite enough they will give me a amazon gift card for fifty bucks. LOL
writing is a bit clumsy but there is soul in it. Try reading Marx, I think you'll be surprised that his theories on the alienation of labor conform with your world view.
Oliver Martinez
I merely seek to educate. >For society to peel apart at the seems "seams" Homophones are hard, I understand.
Christopher Scott
I was joking.
I'm the OP and the guy you're responding to isn't me. When I write my mind moves faster than my fingers so sometimes I make little errors. I also don't have microsoft word to easily correct me.
Noah Diaz
bump
Ryan Ramirez
Good story OP, thanks for posting it.
Ayden Mitchell
It is a bit over dramatic, but not misplaced with its intentions of conveying something dramatic. Try to restructure it so that your words don't clash with your message. Saying "A world where etc" and things like "deep in my soul" sound more appropriate in a 17th century drama or a modern satire than in the mind of a pissed and alienated salary man.
Daniel Robinson
It's clearly a satire.
Dylan Ward
It should be a bit more exaggerated then. This type of dramatic writing I've seen in too many serious reflections and it always makes me cringe a bit.
Brayden Roberts
I don't know. I think he just needs to clean it up a bit. The idea is there and his prose flows well. I think you want it to be something that you want rather than something that it is.
Ethan Edwards
Fair 'nuff.
Jaxon Howard
band name pls?
Samuel Perez
bump
Sebastian Rogers
I think it would be interesting if someone wrote a book about several different disgruntled /pol/ack type characters and really tried to get into their heads, not just satirize them and put them down. A good title for this book, I think, would be "Basket of Deplorables."
Josiah Parker
>My cubicle neighbors are a fat blue haired gash on my right and a effeminate “straight” white guy who likes scarves and tea on my left (Not so) subtle political comentary? made me chuckle.
Landon Hughes
>But the reduction is apparent >I have no evidence for it but it's apparent
Elijah Martin
I think he literally meant it is visible to him. Testosterone and estrogen have effects on the human body which are apparent to the naked untrained eye.
Carter Powell
I'll ignore how childishly simplistic your understanding of reality and history is, and focus on the prose. It's cluttered and annoying, you use too many useless determiners (my, mine, this, such, which etc). You could trim every sentence and make it clearer, more readable, without losing any style. For example, the very first sentence >I'm sure that at one time this world we live in was once beautiful. You used 'one' and 'once' to refer to the same thing, 'this world we live in' in a very redundant phrase >I'm sure our world was once very beautiful
In general, cut the cynicism and potty language, postmodernism is dead and nobody likes it.
Adrian Lopez
I don't like it as much as others here seem to.
The "soulless cubicle life" bit has been played out dozens of times and where you connect it with a /pol/ mindset, it makes no sense and feels really forced. Partially because you don't explain those aspects at all.
You describe the empty modern life and then just randomly end the paragraph with "I would be a goddamn alpha" or "I would become the most efficient guerrilla warrior" which just sound like ridicule.
So if you want to make it about the general disillusioned young man, it's accurate but not too special. If you want to make it /pol/ related, you need to carve out that mindset a lot better. It's more than just being bored or annoyed with office work or lonely.
I have to agree with this. Don't fall into the trap of being like one of those journalists who come to Veeky Forums for a day, skim through the most ridiculous posts and sell that as the mind of people on here without ever trying to understand them.
>Need some opinions >but please only agreeable ones
Luis Gomez
>implying I'm the OP Your 'opinions' are rife with vitriol and jealousy by the way.
Henry Nelson
>jealousy Wat? I'm a guy who told him to write sentences shorter b t w
Brandon Thomas
yeah, you're definitely not the OP cause you can write a not shit sentence
Justin Fisher
...
Connor Perry
Not bad.
I would expand by making a parallel with his cubicle friend. Faced with the same predicament, a tiny environmental difference pushes the friend towards /leftypol/ instead of /pol/.
