Tfw work a boring office job while trying to write muh debut novel

>tfw work a boring office job while trying to write muh debut novel
>oppressive mediocrity ruining my mood and focus
>known as the quiet, weird guy who does some non-specific job
>rage builds and builds
>overhear a co-worker say "never really understood the point of fiction to be honest"
>another one says "oh I don't know, some books are good"
>fucking sperg out and shout at them for idolizing mediocrity and close mindedness
>rant for about five minutes about how dull, stupid, tame and predictable they are
>some people just stare and blink
>boss says "come on, let's chat"
>tells me that's not acceptable and that I have to leave the company
>say fine and passively aggressively thank him
>leave the company and move home
>trashed the novel and now writing a memoir slash manifesto
>Mommy says I have to move out since it isn't fair that my stepdad's kids aren't allowed to live there but I am
>moved out last weekend
>now living in my car
>spent all week showering at a local swimming pool then reading and writing in the library
>tfw won't be able to live like this much longer but refuse to return to normie society

What happens now Veeky Forums? Do I die? I've only written 17,000 words but I intend to write much, much more.

I'm pretty sure you will do more shouty rants but mostly at passers-by on the street who might stop to give you a dollar or tell you to get a job.

You sound like you have a personality disorder.

Which one(s)?

Also, why should I be judged insane while my ex co-workers, who spent eight hours every day talking about what they intend to eat for dinner, arguing over the specific temperature outside, etc are said to be sane? It's disgusting. Who would want to be sane if that's the standard of admission?

>tfw in college studying history but want to switch to English but don't have the sack

Yes but in your analysis of the situation you're leaving out the part where you start yelling at them for no reason.

There was no REAL reason to keep your writing a secret, that coild have been part of your life openly, instead of being that weird dude.

>Also, why should I be judged insane while my ex co-workers, who spent eight hours every day talking about what they intend to eat for dinner, arguing over the specific temperature outside, etc are said to be sane?
Because as a social species we develop these abilities to interact with people we aren't emotionally close to promote a more cohesive environment.

I don't know enough about personality disorders to diagnose you over Veeky Forums, user. But being unable to connect to your peers, and then suddenly snapping isn't healthy behavior. It could be any number of things, from autism (I'm not memeing) to vague shit like anger management issues.

I strongly recommend you began drinking or taking drugs heavily, even habitually and without any joy.

>no reason

Why should I have to suffer from their company every day? It drove me insane having to sit there in an airless, over-illuminated, extremely warm room as they droned on about some inane topic for eight hours. It made me sick. If that's sanity I am glad to be """insane""".

>cohesive environment
You sound like Nietzsche's "Last Man", and what you really mean is that "you should simply sacrifice your genius and heightened intellectual sensitivity for the sake satisfying the status quo.

Yeah, so the logical thing to do is sit and suffer, burn all your bridges, and become homeless, instead of strategically finding a better environment to work in and finish your book.

Way to go, genius.

See a psychiatrist

>what you really mean is that "you should simply sacrifice your genius and heightened intellectual sensitivity for the sake satisfying the status quo.

No.
This is very immature thinking. I used to think like this too. It doesn't work. Suddenly it hit me: "demanding that people like me without putting in any effort is asking the whole world to change." That's impossible. It's adapt or die. Since that afternoon, my life has only gotten better.
You don't have to give up anything about you. You can still like the same things. You can still have the same opinions, it just means sometimes you stand in a group of people and bite your tongue, or talk about banal shit, or agree to go along to the bar when you rather read the book at home. Just occasionally. It builds solidarity. It's good for you, it's good for them. It's not philosophy, it's fucking science. Every relationship is built on concession. It means sometimes you concede, and we you have built a communication with the other person, they make concessions. This is vital to a healthy human condition.

"I'm better than everybody" proves how vastly inferior you are. You haven't grasped the very principle of knowledge, or the very basic of human interaction, which even monkeys know. You are still an angry child. And until you stop being an angry child, this will keep happening.

look how far you genius mind has gotten you

this pseud obsession with novels. turn in some good short stories and novellas first.

and try a more taoist approach to life - that is, being less forceful

even though OP didn't really happen

normie season

Care to elaborate on your second point?

well said brother

The Taoist eats when hungry, sleeps when tired, doesn't worry about tomorrow. He doesn't force himself to do things not in his nature, not in his way, he avoids pain. He lives spontaneously and without regrets for his past - because he doesn't have to be the person he used to be, just like he will be a different man when he dies.

Alan Watts lectures well in summary of Taoism/Daoism on youtube

And the Taoist accepts those around him, and the way people are - he doesn't remonstrate or rail against society

>I've only written 17,000 words but I intend to write much, much more.
Holy shit. Give us a sample u garbage

Hey did you know that people use language in complex and nonspecific ways? Because you clearly don't know this. Your book is g a r b a g e

>an airless, over-illuminated, extremely warm room as they
Holy shit. Check your fucking privilege and enjoy remembering this post while you're living in your car.

You've been insulated from life dude. Good news: by the end of the year you will have turned your life around, sucking dick for heroin, or dead. What city are you in?

You're depressed. Period. You're in a dangerous time, go to a psychiatrist

It's really disconsolate that you Amerifats get fired over shit like this.

This isn't the reason op was fired. Just a long line of unconscious abuse perpetrated against everyone around him, and doing the sorts of things which people suspected him of being an alt-righter

>spending 8+ hours a day in an airless, over-illuminated, extremely warm room staring at a PC is evidence of privelege

Ask yourself this: would Nietzsche enjoy that environment?

Exactly.

I'm not posting a lengthy sample because it needs to be edited thoroughly before I make any of my work available to the public. I'll post the first line if you're interesting but you seem to be only curious so that you can ridicule me.

How am I supposed to pay rent as a Taoist?

>look how far you genius mind has gotten you

I suppose pic related represent "geniuses" to you, huh? van Gogh lived in poverty, Baudelaire lived in poverty, Nietzsche lived in relative poverty, Bolano lived in poverty. Believe me, I could go on. If anything the fact that I am living in absolute poverty only goes to prove the depth and profundity of my genius.

Okay, you're either another user, baiting, or you're a legitimate retard.

I have excelled academically throughout my education, so how am I retarded? The only reason I'm not pursuing some big-money and socially praiseworthy "career" is that I appreciate the fact that life and most people who live it are fucking garbage to anybody who is sensitive, ethical, intelligent, logical, loyal, and so on. My collective virtues prevent me from succeeding in this corrupt and degenerate society.

Yeah okay, buddy.

Well, you live simply, so that you don't have to work as hard and long as you would if you forced yourself into the consumer society

'He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income.' ECCLESIASTES

>you're right user

>people give up trying to talk to me because they realize it's pointless
>this means I win
Jesus christ, you really are retarded, aren't you?

>people wave the white flag because they acknowledge the immensity of my intelligence and grasp of logic

There are homeless people in this library sitting less than 5 feet away from me who are more intelligent than you.

>Nietzsche's "Last Man"

its stuff like this that really helps remind me that Nietzsche was pretty much just some edgy loser

Enjoy your hike, normie.

Shower in swimming pool and reading and writing in the library would be my ideal lifestyle. :/

Then do it.

I have a hard time thinking of novels that I've read and liked that don't have a heavy historical influence. And I don't just mean period pieces. Even Dick's and Vonnegut's stuff that takes place in the not-too-distant future synthesizes past events. For example, Player Piano by Vonnegut has characters that are literally luddites, albeit in a fictional setting in the future.

>Vonnegut

Stopped reading there.

My point that I forgot to state is that history doesn't seem like such a bad major for someone who also would like to major in English.

History might even be better. They say never study what you love.

But you kept reading after Dick?
You didn't like Slaughterhouse Five?

Dick is a good writer. Vonnegut is George Saunders for redditors.

keep writing until you're almost dead by starvation

>Dick>Vonnegut

Have you only read Slaughter-House 5? He is not some literary god, but he has some great works, no doubt. Slaughter-House 5 is one of my least favorite pieces of his that I've read.

When you hit 21 get back to me. I don't waste time with children and idiots.

why would history require less guts than english? i'd imagine the two disciplines are similar in terms of job prospects / study requirements etc.

did you at least get him to fire you so you can collect unemployment?

dick is not a good writer. he's a good "idea guy". even vonnegut, who is far from a stylist, has better prose than him.

Living in your car is patrician. Go Diogenes route.

>17,000 words

I can write a novel in 2-3 months. Get gud.

No one reads novellas.

Yet I've never and w've never heard of you.

>w've
>Veeky Forums

Pretty much what I expected.

what am i suposed to life for? cant force myself to belief in god. there is always th efeeling of dissatsifaction in plesur. i do not wish to own anything. but then i took a walk down the stairs and suddenly it dawned on me: Oh yes, of course. How could i have not seen this coming? All that reason for me being unhappy was my castrated will to power"! Nietzsche simply knew it all. Yes, my wil to power. After all i have many ambitions! while thinkjn g about this it becamle clear that i was literaly being cucked by reigion and god. Of courshe, i asked for some sort of afterlife-esque solution to all of my problems, while the truth was clearly laid out right in front me. While i told this to my neighbour he did a salto down a whiteboard into the teapot of Mrs. Potter, my wife, which for reasons that i do not know was also thinking abouut getting what she wanted, which in this case was nothing more than a pot of tea, including my dead neighbour, who was dead in the tea pot since he fell into it. She drank it with great pleasure and agai i asked myself: What i can i not enjoy pleasure like my wife Mr. Potter, who feels so happy whenever she drinks tea pots with dead neighbours in them. Angry at my parents and Mr. Potter, i left the university and went to the road stop. At the raod stop i laid down on the ground, thinking about how fucking dank it would be to shitpost so hard on Veeky Forums that the board would have to be evacuated. I felt something akin to hope? And then i read the newspapers where it was said that Nietzsche waa fedora nihilist loser who didn't even live out his own philosophy. I couldn't believe it. All these decades the philosophy establshment told me that Nietzsche was an actually relevant cultural criticist and even Adorno, or as me and my circle of friends call him: Tedi AdornMEME, the perpetrator of cultural marxism and thus the destroyer of the west, adorsed Nietzsche: coincudence? According to the Veeky Forums poster who wrote the newspaper article not. It clarly indicated that everyone who didn't realize what an unscientific loser Nietzsche was, how stupid one could even be. Had i just found the meaning of my life,now it was gone again. In the deepest despair i had known, i decided that finally needed To Get My Shit Together. This entailed working 5 days a week, eaing oney So that i could buy more video games. In my dream video game tit would be literally like real lif, except i was god and could do everything. I would then marry my true waifu Sudoku, from Neon Genesis Evangelion, and together we would merge in human singularyty. NGE isn't for losers, it even references Schopenhauer.Anybody else here literally like Shinji Ikari? Mfw Genji is my father. I bet you guys weren't even aware that Hideaki Ano is a avantgarde hegelian. And but so i went downstairs into my kitchen and realized that everything was in a way pointless, anbd at the same time meaning ful in another way which i did not know until yet. this is all getting cut right?

I'm reasonably sure none of that actually happened and you're that one shitposter who makes up "tragic" life stories.

>that one shitposter

First time on Veeky Forums, can you give me quick rundown on this guy?

>dick is not a good writer.
This meme lets you know who's never actually read PKD. His prose is totally fine. What were you expecting, Melville? He writes pulpy science fiction

He makes up long-winded, elaborate stories about failing as a writer in various ways and posts them as threads under the premise that they're true. People reply sincerely and he eventually reveals the ruse after 100 replies or so if no one questioned it. He'll deny it if confronted before then though.

haha op this was a tricpost. because you said you can't endure mediocrity yet you haven't killed yourself. or do you think you are not idolizing yourself when you spert oug at coworkers for not being as devoted to greatness as your are? lmaofao you gog damn loser. Yeah i said. Yeah there i said it, you are the most pathetic loser on this whole fucking board. Hey bbuddy? ever thought that cool kids know how to live, as opposed to being workless? why don't you write short stories and stuff and earny money by that. Or if you can write so good then just write for some newspapers, usrely u have the talent right? oh boy, this erreminds me when i was of your age. Back then, which wasyesterday i was working at Ney York Times and there i was writng ap piece on how trump is a afascist shitlord. Newsflash everyone, i'm a racist and afascist but who cares? what you have to learn is that life's about moneyand about playing along. I literally hate niggeers so much that i get panick attacks wheni see them, b ut as long as i pretend to not be mentally ill everything goes a-okay. this is the lesson i learnt from 4can: Whenever you see a black person, try to hide in your closet. Why am i telling this all to you? Becuase yo have potential kiddo. Once i was going away from home to m ynew life and there i wondered: Buddy, why is everytone but me so mediocre. Why is everyone such a loser, except for me, the homeless loser without a job? Why can't people appreciate the BEAUTY of life, when they are themself such stinkers and wannabe-tryhard socialized human beings. It took me some time to find the answer, and i hope to spare you that boyo. All you need to do is seek a therapist and he wil literally solve all your problems. for example i never even realized that i was so narcisstic that i hated everyone because they weren't like me. WoW! My therapist was an avid WoW-player and whenever he scored some raids he would call me enthusiasitically and say that in truth i was a spineless faggot to which i cried and hung up the telephone but he continued to harras me, and when i moved away from New york he unironically raped me win mn his garage. i fell in love that day, he said to me: this was what i wanted to show you after all, you are so obsessed with yourself that you needed to feel somebody imposing his existance on you soo that you could be liberated from yourself. this is called the Agony of Eros, now you are free to be whoever you want to be, since you no longer project your miserable weak ass onto everyone else, but realize that others are also people and not just symbols. I said: Wow thank you Therapist, how can i ever thank you? But he was all nah dude, i'm fine. it's my job and he winked at me and drove off in his motorbike to the E4. At the E3 they had shown Majoras Mask 2 and Half Life 3. Is this dreaming or is this real life? the moment this happened i literally went online and called everyone a big fat ass redittor

Sounds like a legitimate genius to me!

You would say that about yourself.

geez op im jut like you wheniever i try to write a story i get so appealed by myself that i have to stop since im no great writer and then i go on 4chnan dnt hink: how can i distract myself, what can i do to feel sort of inronialy superior to my owne xistance which doesnt make a lot of sense but then who does? did you get that blade runner reference? what can i say its my favourite movie. what i like about is it is the mise en scene and the cinematography. all the images look very colourish and the carnera is great. also the ost is very good, and it's just like THE Cyberpunk film. It reminds me of Every Frame a Painting, which is my favourite channel. All my knowledge on cinema stems from tehre and it lietrally makes me score mad pussy eery weekend. Last weekend i was a t the berlinale and there ran a film by Bela Tarr and i pointed out just how great the mise n escene is and my 3 girls who accompanied me asked: what the hell is mise en scene and i explained them what it is and they were: damn, i can not talk like wthis with anybody but you and then i lost my virginity 2 years later, bu it all played an important part in me becoming a man. My father would always pat my shoulders and say: It's a jungle out dere, and when he died i i wrote a piece of theatre and it was published. Sadly the world is cruel.

Being a proud SJW i have to face teh fact, on a daily basis, that people are bigot shitlords, not only n mind, but also in heart. It almost made me give up my cause but whenever i feel like no longer being a SJW and instead live out my negative feelings, i remind myself that morality is the one thing that can save the proletariat from late capitalist dynamics. Yes that's right. Morality. we can't change the system so i think we should atleast try our best to be less shitlordish and instead support PETA. PETA is my religion, Pe-Ta, the tip of my tongue taking 3 steps down the stairs. Whenever i see somebody eating meat i will throw a tantrum that teaches him the important of love and grace. How to do this is described in my new Novel: How Brexit was the end of democracy.

As you can see i do understand you OP. But while i feel pity and sorrow due to your suffering i do not claim that i can know what it feels like to be you, since i'm not you. I respect your individuality and your self-sufficient self-ness which is not mine. Whenever i look like i ish to deconstrct you it's not meant this way annd in truth i wish to build a sort of supportive narrative as to make you overcome your disappointment with others. my advice would be to to vote for Marine Le Pen, only he can save Europe from Islamism and the dangers of globbl capitalism. Isn't it just true how the true leftists are at this point the reactionary right? If the left wants to succed we need to be much more populistic and talk in a language that others understand, otherwis wer betetray the rpoletariat, our roots and our motherland. i can say one thing that is true: The 1% will pay for crimes

be a little less demotic, my good fellow, and people will read more than two sentences

t. Armchair psychologist

The most common concentration at Harvard is a dual major in history and literature, just so you know.

bumping

kys my dood

Your heart is in the right place but a true genius recognises his own problems and works on them, not sperging out at his co-workers. That's something a 16 year old does when first reading books, lol.

>No money
>No health insurance
>seeing a psychiatrist

Why don't you check your privilege dude?

No he's just socially retarded. Get some fucking self control. People don't talk to you in public because they care about your or life autist, they are just killing time.

Get Medicaid? There's also free mental health care in america...

>I'll post the first line
A bit sad that nobody took OP's bait here. I was looking forward to the 'at his own expense' line.

post the opening

Apply for welfare. Pretend to be insane.

ok. ok. wow. just... ok. first off, you are literally living the fucking dream. you have zero obligations, and 100% time to focus on reading and writing. to get over this bitch mentality you have about this situation, read some Seneca or something, stoicism is perfect. then fucking own it. go hard. if you're awake 16 hours a day, spend 15 hours a day writing. seriously. it sounds like hard work, but for the first week, spend 8-10 hours a week. you're literally living in a novel right now. a hero's journey, rejected by the people who (((allegedly))) "have their shit together" (top fucking kek), fighting your own insecurity, building discipline, and living what is literally the fucking dream for 99% of writers.

or you can keep being a gigantic fucking pussy, your call.

>99% of writers want to be unemployed, poor, sleeping in their cars and spending most of their day typing out some shitty novel in a library full of homeless people

Hmmmm

are you fucking kidding me. are you seriously fucking kidding me? if you are not writing because you love the art of it, and would give up everything, including comfort of your faggot bedroom in your mom's home, then you are not a true artist. you are a fucking faggot like the rest of the piece of shit writers of the last 50 years who have zero fucking success because you are soft.

he is basically a homeless.

>Being a true artist makes you successful

this whole thread is hilarious. not only the poor fag OP but also people trying to tell him he has a problem (which is obvious).

OP here. I have returned. Currently sitting in McDonalds using free wifi.

The opening sentence of my work is:

"Viktor realized, with a sort of laugh, that every joke he had recently heard had been told by himself, to himself, and at his own expense."

So the first line of the book confirms that the protagonist is insufferable. Good job.

>sort of
>in the opening

sort of trash.

What a startling coincidence

Actually the opening line provides an insight into the protagonist's isolation and stubborn refusal to sacrifice his sense of humour, however dark it may be, due to external pressure to become humorless and defeated.

If you lack the capacity to include the parlance of everyday life in your novel then you will never make it as a writer. The first sentence proves that I am extremely observant, that I possess the ability to articulate myself precisely and in an appealing manner, and that despite my genius (and, as we later discover, the genius of the protagonist) I am still capable of identifying the humor in my situation. As Schopenhauer once wrote, the life of a man when viewed as a whole appears as a tragedy, but when viewed in detail it appears more as a comedy. This sentiment is captured in this one sentence of mine and reassures readers that they really do have a fantastic writer on their hands.

I'd drop the "with a sort of laugh," though. It seems awfully redundant and quite frankly, autistic.

What does that even mean; with a sort of laugh? Why don't you just say "chuckle?"

The sentence also reveals everything about the protagonist -- that he is self indulgent and narcissistic. No one wants to read about someone they immediately despise.

>Mommy says I have to move out since it isn't fair that my stepdad's kids aren't allowed to live there but I am

How is this logical? She's so spooked

young and inexperienced as he is, he doesn't realize there are actual words to describe events, rather than vague fillers like «sort of X», used by actually articulate people. It's what brings writing to life. I feel sorry for you. Hope you can improve.

Wow you really are dense. Definitely not my intended demographic at all.

The fact that he does not laugh in a wholesome sense in which the laughter is obvious and can be clearly defined as such suggests his laughter itself is undermined by the subject of the joke, namely himself and his position in life. Narcissism is a crucial aspect of modern life and every great man can be described as having been more narcissistic than his contemporaries, if only for the fact that he refused (as I have) to settle for the kind of mediocre, trivial, routine, predictable, unimaginative life that allows him to reach his death unperturbed by life, much like water flowing to the sea via the easiest channels. My own Zarathustrian life is evidently reflected in the life and thoughts of my protagonist.

chuckle is definitely the word you are looking for here.

where you at in Britain OP?

So the Peterson thread gets deleted, but this piece of shit, retarded spergout gets to stay.

Really shows who's moderating this board. Retarded, frog posting faggots.

This is an actually interesting thread though about a literary intellectual.


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