Well Veeky Forums Im about to become a pizza delivery guy, what am I in for?

Lots of bjs

>friend gets job as pizza driver
>guy reminds me of Rocky Marciano
>not big or physically intimidating
>but has rekt everyone who tried to start shit with him

>first night delivering pizzas
>delivered to a deserted part of Walmart parking lot
>two guys get out of their car and demand his money
>unarmed
>fucking idiots think he's just some geek
>mah boy straight wrangles both of them and beats the holy shit out of them
>takes pizza back to base and says the customers didn't show
>never even mentioned it to his boss or coworkers

Damn das gangsta

wow, sounds like a totally real story

Pics or it didnt happen

Bunch of jealous fggts in here. If I was gonna lie I'd have said it was me.

I wish I'd saved the post I saw once about a delivery guy that brought pizza to what was either a crazed hobo or an abomination from beyond the stars

How am i a jealous faggot? I said it was gangster you prick

/thread

I keep hearing about this Oggis pizza or something near one of the ultra rich neighborhoods in San Diego. The pizza delivery guys are fucking old, like 60 years old, and they've had the job forever and will never give it up. Rumor is that they're making $100k+ per year, most of it in tips. Fuck, I'd like that job

i got some old guys at my dominos and we are a really busy store. they dont make anything near 100k they all have roommates and drive a shit box car just like me and they are 30 years older than me

What? You want to see a prick?! Say "no balls" I FUCKEN DARE YOU

You go to other people's houses to get robbed

I worked at a Pizza Bolis in the UMD college town in Maryland and I once delivered some late night pizzas to a couple of drunk college students and when I peeked their apartment I saw two girls that may or may not have been knocked out topless and drenched in cum.

No balls

You suddenly start wondering why the address numbers on houses/businesses aren't more prominently displayed.

Who are you delivering for?
I delivered for an Italian restaurant that was next to a rich a neighborhood so Indidnt have to drive very far and got very good tips.
One thing I could recommend is buy some dog treats you can give out if they have a dog; I noticed I got a lot more tips after doing that.

>Dine-in pizza joint driver reporting in
>get weed from cook, cocaine a few times
>dated a few of the servers
>bj in walk-in
>flirt with girls 18-25 all day long
>Never that douchebag who tells customers that the delivery charge isn't a tip, holy fuck
>getting tipped is just the icing on the cake
> I love my job
>fuck the stigma of making it a career

This me

>flirt with girls 18-25 all day long
>18-25

There are a few servers in their 40's, but aren't attractive at all. There is a milf, but she's only 23 i think. Great ass but horrible bitchy attitude.

One thing I will say is this: if you ever deliver the pizza to a woman and she asks if it has extra sausage, that means she is going to have sex with you.

no balls

fuck you
The local pizza place says that everytime I order and it's fucking stupid

I know a guy who used to be a pizza delivery guy. He's told me a few stories. He actually did get invited to join a couple in a threesome once, but he turned them down since that's not really his thing despite him being bi. A non-slutty bisexual, I know, hard to believe but I know him fairly well and a manwhore he is not. He also said that on numerous occasions it was painfully obvious that the person answering the door had just been fucking someone else in the other room just moments before rushing to the door. You'd think most people wouldn't order a pizza mid-coitus, but apparently it happens very frequently.

If it's anything like my experience prepare to be robbed at gunpoint. Fuck Chicago

you are going to fuck absolutely no one, but at least you can flirt with quality coed ass in the kitchen
your boss is going to fuck you by putting a $4 "service charge for the drivers" on every order and then pocketing the whole thing
you are more likely to die at work than a police officer
not because of niggers, who mostly have a complex about being hated for not tipping and overtip to compensate, but mostly either from jeffro jimbob daly the 5th and a half who answers the door with a shotgun 25 minutes after ordering a pie or just from bad drivers

advice: hoard your tip money and try to live off pay+mileage, a year of tips is a vacation anywhere in the world

>jeffro jimbob daly the 5th and a half who answers the door with a shotgun

You know how I know you're telling the truth? No matter what time of day it is, my neighbor out in the country where the most crime you ever hear about is someone stealing a lawnmower or methlab bust, answers his door with his tinfoil hat on and popgun 9mm behind his back. I always announce myself after ringing his doorbell. These Cletus Billy Bob's are nuttier than a pecan tree.

>a philandering manchild wonders why people don't respect pizza delivery boys
KEK

These are accurate. I drove for 2 years. Once two women answered the door in underwear and topless to be funny. They later called the store and gave a coworker one of their numbers to give me. I texted them and ended up going over, getting drunk and screwing around with one of them while the other was with their husband/boyfriend respectively.
They were not hot, but one does not turn down the opportunity for that kind of story.