Acquire coconut because Dr. Weill said it is healthful

>acquire coconut because Dr. Weill said it is healthful
>I love Bounty bars so this should be a great way to finally get healthy with no effort
>takes an hour to open, almost end up in the emergency room
>end up with some scraps of unpleasant tasting white stuff, nothing like I expected

Anyone else feel gypped by the "superfood" scam?

>unpleasant tasting white stuff
Sounds like my first experience.

I hate it, so I would never buy it, but I still have no idea how you're supposed to open a coconut without a machete

>tfw allergic to coconut and avocado
>tfw i can never be healthy

You can just go unga-bunga and hit it against a rock or something

Hammer and chisel

I think you mean ooga-booga

Unga-bunga is where a group of rich octogenarian horndogs ritually molest a 19 year old illegal immigrant girl while showering her with jewelry and gifts

You can prevent injury by having a sharp knife and remembering to cut towards your chum not your thumb.

I always use a band saw.

Not to say raw coconut tastes great by itself, but it's possible your coconut was unripe. I like to put it in a food processor and use it as breading for shrimp and chicken.

reddit detected
begone

smack it with a rolling pin or something

>everything is reddit except the word "cuck", jackposting, McChickens, and frogposting
I want 2008 Veeky Forums back

Yeah gore threads and milhouse memes ruled

>uses "i think you mean x, y is blah blah blah"chainmeme
>gets butthurt

L E A V E
E
A
V
E

>Women

>the only board 10 years ago was /b/
Speak for yourself
No U

That's "bunga bunga" you dumb animal

My hang up with coconut is that it stays in your mouth for 3 years

>love the texture and taste of freshly cracked coconut
>coconut ice cream is a god send, especially delicious coconutty chocolate ones
>the dried stuff is the spawn of satan

Agreed. Veeky Forums and Veeky Forums are the only boards that aren't complete trash, and ck is only not trash because sometimes its the right kind of shitty instead of jackposting, the same five webms of dorilocos, and people pretending to shill random brands.

Even negros figured out how to open a coconut, apply yourself.

Shotgun works.

>frogposting

I spent all my time on /v/ in 2008, what was Veeky Forums like back then?