Most Humane Way To Kill A Crab?

>le gay ferarri tasteville meme.

Yeah. Nah.

Drown them.

What makes you think crabs are capable of that level of suffering?

Stop whining about your mom wanting to cook crabs on Veeky Forums. Crabs aren't people, they aren't even close to people, they're invertebrate with a primitive nervous system and no brain. You may as well ask for the most humane way of culling a venus fly trap, insect or fruit (whose farming process includes large scale insecticide). Grow up, you pompous pseudo-intellectual.

Studies.

Finally, a real answer.

The brain of a crab, or any invertebrate, is formed like a donut surrounding the esophagus. The best way to kill the brain and any possibility of suffering is to flip it on its back and stab with a sharp sturdy knife just where the indent where the tip of the tail rests.

Tell him to kill them by shoving them up his ass

Thank you. I'll look into this.

I told him to kill them with kindness. (AKA leave them alone.)

Most people complain about crab cruelty when they find out the best way to kill a crab is to boil it alive. Ironically, it's the fastest and most sure way to kill a crustacean. The boiling water causes their brain to rupture, killing them instantly. As opposed to dispatching a crustacean with a knife, which will simply injure it as it is unlikely that you'd destroy the brain entirely; some crabs have been cut entirely in half and survived for some time.
Otherwise, did you know that crabs are literally spiders? They diverged relatively recently from a common ancestor and their flesh tastes identical. Most people who eat spiders say they taste exactly like crab.
>The More You Know!

What about freezing them for 30min to an hour before boiling?

this whole scenario is pretty fucking funny

put em in an ice bucket for 10 minutes so they won't pinch you

>tear off the shell
>tear off the face
>remove gills
>hit it with a hose to get rid of the guts

There ya go.

Take it out back and shoot it with your shotgun.

Leave them submerged in helium-infused water to comfortably asphyxiate

Put your naked dick and balls by the pincers

Kek

>It has no effect on me, and they suffer because I'm considering their suffering, therefore it effects me

you sound retarded

>I'm a vegan

Stopped reading after that.

You're an idiot.

I second this. Tell him to drown them in the ocean.

The most humane way is to flip it over onto its back, pull each leg off one at a time, then use a blowtorch on the remainder

Scream in its face and give it a heart attack

This

Expose it to an anti-crab and both will be destroyed instantly.

Just tell him you're not vegan anymore so he won't care and will maybe stop?

Are you fucking telling me that in order to quickly kill the crab I have to flip it over and hit its weakpoint for massive damage

Is that what you're saying

Icicle in the heart. No one will know it was you..

Most vegan way... Crab hammer,

This post makes me want to be a better man.

hivemindizzle

>he doesn't know how leathal krab can be

People like you are an oddity to me. Do you constantly waste your time worrying over the suffering of anything that casts a shadow?

let me tell you something about crabs, crabs are the fucking devil, I hate them, FUCK! I don't even like to eat them but I eat them just for pure vengeance and rage. those little shits enter my fucking house every day and then they go straight to my room and hide in the most difficult to reach places , then when I'm sleeping they fucking crawl on me and pinch me on the face because they are little shit eating fuckers. you have no idea of how many different and painful ways I have developed to kill them in the most fucking painful way possible, I hate crabs.

buildings cast shadows...?

Imagining crabs crawling on your face and pinching you in your sleep made me lol and I don't feel sorry for you.

Flash freeze in liquid nitrogen

Old age. Conscious clear.
Make a little crabs nest and feed it headlice directly from scruffy transsexual antifa head.

A mallet. Nobody eats the disgusting body insides anyway. Literally the fastest way, and fun too. Same goes for frogs fish and birds

>>therefore it effects me

*affects

Nasty creatures.

At least they're slow, and not too bright.

salon articles

Their pincers *are* sharp though.

tell him to shove them up his ass

Sorry. Usually don't misspell that. Let's call it a typo.

Will do. Wait, actually that would be a horrible way to die and he might actually try to do it, so nevermind.

Expanding on that, maybe throw them in the freezer for 15-20 minutes beforehand depending on the size of the crab. The situation you're in sounds like a weird one , OP, and the guy gives off a self-hating, closet homo/rapey vibe. I would find a way to sever your association with him.

>then when I'm sleeping they fucking crawl on me and pinch me on the face

The most humane way is to shoot it with a 12 gauge solid slug when it isn't looking at you.
It's painless and quick

20 pounds of TNT will do the trick

12 gauge buck shot, those little bastards won't be able to snap at you before you paint them over the landscape

Place it on top of the super volcano at Yellowstone and wait for nature. Killed and cooked. 1 stone two erm... Crabs
Conscious clear.

Boiling or stabbing the brain are popular methods.

I prefer to fill the sink (or bathtub if you have a lot) with cool tap water and place them in there. In about 10-15 mins they will be dead and ready to clean/cook.

semen demon?

Mattress actress?

Julia Gillard

google.com/search?q=julia gillard&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiBs4G21ffUAhUm3YMKHbZeDUMQ_AUICygC&biw=1280&bih=694

SCHNIPPEN SCHNAPPEN

Grip the crab firmly by the head and neck and twist sharply. You'll sever its vertebrae and it will quickly die.

fluid druid?

>2 seconds off

also kek

Are you gnomebro from the /alc/ threads, who sees gnomes messing with him when he's having hallucinations from withdrawals?

...

Actually kek'd

drowning them

Pot of boiling water.

...

Please tell me more about the ways you have killed crabs

Crabs (and other crustaceans) have a nervous system too primitive to produce signals like "pain" - it's more akin to a plant responding to negative stimulus. They will avoid hazardous situations to avoid the negative stimulus, but it's nothing like the pain that more complex creatures can demonstrate.

I wouldn't be terribly concerned about it. The crab won't be suffering no matter what you do. Their nervous system is incompatible with our perception of negative stimuli, but perhaps the best way to describe it is "discomfort".

this is how I feel when eating them. a whole lot of effort for very little reward.

fuck crabs

Can you give me sources for this? (Not exactly doubting you, just would like to read into it.)

I really do hope you're right, but since they do learn to avoid shocks and other things I am skeptical and would rather be extra certain. Would still want them to be killed in the most humane way regardless though.

We told you that game was true to history bitch.

Crabs deserve no sympathy
youtube.com/watch?v=ipg4EL_JUyE