Share your best/worst restaurant stories

>Visited friends in NYC. Go drinking all day at bars that have great imports on tap. Hit one bar (maybe in the bowery?) that had hand pumped cask ale. Go to an area where there are indian restaurants in a line down the street (lower east side?). Go to one for dinner @ 8:00PM. Order lamb vindaloo. Eat about 1/2 realize I have to puke. Head to the loo and just as I enter, spew vindaloo/beer vomit everywhere. Come back out and tell friends we gotta go, let's get this put in carryout containers.

I felt bad thinking of the poor shitskin who had to clean that godawful mess.

Get a real job. You'll need the experience when your parents stop paying your rent

>worst

I'm ethnic as fuck

Decide to grab a bite to eat with my brother
Hit up a local viet joint i've been going to for years
Sitting at the place and waiting for my meal
Two large cups of water at the table
I'm getting heated/loud talking with my brother
Talking with my hands
Spill drink all over table
Get super embarrassed
Trying to wipe all the water
Laughing and embarrassed as fuck
Guy comes up, he has rags I start helping him out
He says its alright, gives us a new table
He cleans it up
I'm sitting there still red as a cherry trying not to focus on the Vietnamese older people looking at me

>Got lied to about their chemical wine
>Feel like shit after 3 glasses
>Throw the fuck up without even feeling very drunk
>When I throw up I need to shit too
>Take the meanest shit I took in my life
>Spend the evening in a 2x1 stall

I was waiting for the "suddenly, spaghetti starts dripping out of my ethnic pocket"

why would you even drink 3 glasses of wine at a restaurant?

>Worst resturant experience

Out with friends
Hit up a new spot they know about
Its 9:15pm
They close at 10pm
Come into the joint, they are cleaning up
Place is empty and nobody inside expect a cook, waitress, and some other guy helping out
We ask if they're open, looks like they're closing up.
Guys say yea its fine
Get the death stare from fine waitress
Its 9:15+ at night
We're trying to get something sweat and maybe some tea or coffee on the side
I order coffee, she brings over some things
Its about 9:30 or so
They're almost closing
Its only us in the place
Ask for sugar or and some other things for the table
She comes over, gives it to like 2 people in our group
Doesn't give me any
Walks away
We eat, pay, walk out
Laugh outside and in the cars
She must have wanted to go home early that night
Kind of unprofessional if you ask me but I've been there....

It was supposed to be fancy so I didn't expect pill wine.
Also I couldn't tell you the reason but I just didn't feel like beer.

My family are the people who applaud sarcastically when a waiter drops a tray full of dishes.

Once went to a pet restaurant in japan
so I could pet the ethic jap cats and eat ethic jap food.
I order shrimp fried rice cuz I was feeling it
Get swarmed by cute ethic jap kitttys wanting my ethic jap shrimps.
It was a bad idea desu

Oh man that's gotta be fun

I'm sorry, user

I'll manage...somehow.

Who would do that? Oh shit and I thought my dad was the worst

Well he is, my story of my dad would pretty much anyone here understand why the family is so fucked up...

Story time?

Got hassled by our waiter while we were outside the restaurant after eating at a moderately expensive place because we didn't actually leave a tip due to thinking it was already rolled into the bill. Our buddy went in to look at the bill again and ended up giving him like 15 bucks or so extra. Was actually the first time I ever really started to get annoyed with tipping culture. Like it fucking happens sometimes my man let it go.

>Be me
>Dad is a former vet
>Spent time overseas 2 tours and transferred to reserves after active
>Live in the US
>Go to resturants with my dad
>He makes fun of the servers
>He makes fun of their language and their accent in front of everyone
>Family sitting around the table
>Nobody talking
>He is loud, he laughs out loud all the time
>He is abusive sometimes = will explain in a minute
>Asian all you can eat buffet
>We go out with whole family
>2-3 tables
>We spend hundreds of dollars
>He is attempting to speak Chinese/English
>He is butchering the language and making fun of Asians in front of everyone
>My uncle getting in on it
>Talking out loud, about odd Chinese names
>Making jokes in a restaurant about peoples culture
>He acts like a badass, he is a dick to most people and he is extremly loud even today
>My neighbors shared some stories of growing up around us
>:) dad thinks its perfectly okay to go outside and scream at his kid to get back in the house
>LOL
>I love my dad, but he is crazy
>I'll miss the guy when he is gone
>I had to tell him one day about his behavior in public
>Told him he is a dick and very rude all the time
>He had a troubled look on his face
>Tried to argue with me that he is actually a nice guy
>Busted out laughing in his face and told him he is the biggest dick everywhere we go
>At least he always TIPS
...

Sorry if this post offends you, I love the old man but yea he has been through some shit in his life

Did I mention he hates gays and think everyone in public is a fag

>Tried to argue with me that he is actually a nice guy
He sounds like my mom. She's a cunt and a half. But she's mom so what are you gonna do, right?

It is offensive as fuck, you complain about your dad with a page long greentext because he's a bit loud, a bit racist and a bit homophobic? Fuck off with that shit you spoiled fuck

My favorite restaurant experience was in Italy a couple of years ago.
Spent the whole day with 3 friends at a beach near Venice and we got hungry as fuck.

We head back into town to grab some food somewhere (up until now we somehow only managed to hit shitty tourist restaurants, fuck Venice), when we suddenly discover a lit wooden hut just there at the beach. We're not sure whether this was some guys shed or beach house or something so we decide to check it out.

I look through the window and see that it has a bar inside with like 3 people sitting in there, so I head in and try to ask them for a place to eat with my shitty italian.
They just wave us in and tell us to sit down at a table they bring out.
Here is where the meal begins

>waiter brings out wine glasses and pours out some of the most delicious white wine from unmarked bottles (later into the night they'd just bring us more bottles and let us pour them ourselves)
>the best ciabatta I've ever tasted with delicious olives and tomatos as appetizers
>the best mussels I've ever eaten
>then the best seafood risotto

They had tons of all that stuff, at the end of the night we were stuffed to the brim and drank like 8 bottles of wine, trying to communicate with the owners and having a blast.

They are in fact a type restaurant from what I've understood but normally you have to call them some time beforehand and rent the place. Appearantly their guests for the night just didn't show up and so they didn't want to waste their fresh ingredients.
They just wanted 150€ for all that stuff, we tipped 50€.

I still dream of that night, definitely saved the whole vacation for me. Fuck Venice

> Fuck off with that shit you spoiled fuck

Back to /pol/, mf. Neither that guy's father or you have even learned 10 words from another language, let alone tried to form a coherent sentence. Yet you and he think it's something to be made fun of when someone tries to do it. You are what's so fucking irredemiably embarrasing about the US. The arrogance of ignorance leads to our situation today. Fuck right off to your pathetic circlejerk.

Went to a little food place in Missouri where the old lady cooking found a way to bake like 15 strands of her hair into my chicken. She came out to give me the death glare when I sent it back.

On the other end one time working at Subway a nasty ghetto bitch told me that my ugly ass face made her not want the sandwich she spent 10 minutes ordering. In retrospect funny as hell, but pissed me right off at the time.

>family rents a beach property
>we all decide to go eat at a local seafood restaurant, order salmon
>i end up getting food poisoning
>sick for the whole week we're there
>no beach for me
>uncle thinks it's funny
He served me salmon about a year later and laughed his ass off, knowing I hadn't touched the stuff after that trip.

>that guy's father
>that guy
>implying

English is my third language you fucking cuck. You could have told, were you not retarded, that I'm not American by my lack of considering having a loud army dad an actual problem to post meme feels greentexts about.

>be me, in college
>older brother, on leave from army comes to visit
>party time. bar hopping, smokin weed, good times
>stop at one bar with cheap pitchers of "red beer". beer and tomato juice.
>play pool, drink cheep beer, flirt wif grils
>brother drinks too much, feels bad man
>gonna PUUUUKE!!!
>grab empty pitcher, pukes in it. puts back on table. looks around, nobody notices.
>switch to regular beer.
>college chad sneaks over, grabs pitcher fulla puke. thinks it's real beer.
>goes to back table with other chads
>chads start drinking puke beer.
>much unhappiness at chad table
>me and brother get many lulz
>leave bar, smoke weed on way home.
>brother pukes rest of the night.
>never drink red beer again.

Anytime an all or majority black place acts it's typical incompetent black self I go into the bathroom and shot on the floor. If I can't go 2 i just puss all over the place.

One time I went to an authentic chinese hole in the wall and all I could hear coming out of the kitchen was a man and a woman yelling at each other along with pans falling down.

Food was p good.

>Food was p good.

My dad regularly embarasses me with his lack of awareness. One of the worst times
>take him to my favorite chinese restaurant where I'm a regular
>all staff are chinese
>dad loudly telling story about his friend that went to China and only drank bottled water but still got sick
>points at his glass of water
>"The BACTERIA in in the ICE
>"YOU SEE, THERE'S BACTERIA IN THE ICE IN CHINA THAT'LL MAKE YOU SICK!"

Fuck you, dad

Oh, it gets worse with my dad

Good luck talking to women with your dad around, he treats you like you're 10 around your first girlfriend...

>Indian restaurant
>toilets

Choose one user

What a couple of niggers.

>Grandfather in the hospital
>Uncle takes Grandma and I to a Brazilian Steakhouse.
>We sit down, dressed in casual clothes
>Grandma goes up to the snack bar, gets a bowl of lobster bisque.
>Grandma takes one sip of soup.
>"Oh my my my! I couldn't eat another bite."
>Uncle and I glaring at each other.
>30 minutes, meat servers avoiding us despite green chips.
>Uncle pulls a meat server over, says we're starving to death
>They offer a piece of beautiful medium-rare filet.
>Uncle says "Sorry. I only eat well done."
>I get a slice.
>Staff needs to cook every meat skewer to well done just for my uncle.
>Another 30 minutes pass.
>Uncle is making a scene.
>Has 3 waiters trying to console him
>Each waiter has a skewer of meat he refuses to take.
>Other customers glaring at us because now they're not getting meat.
>Grandma is bitching at my uncle.
>Uncle is saying I'm starving too.
>My plate is full of medium-rare meat and sausages.
>Uncle tells me to get rid of sausages in front of waiter with sausages. Says they're too filling.
>Uncle finally gets a piece of well done meat after an hour.
>Takes one bite and immediately goes to the bathroom.
>Grandma takes out her wallet and starts tipping waiters, apologizing for my uncle.
>Another hour passes as my uncle finally gets one of each meat.
>We finally cash out.
>Uncle leaves no tip.
>Waiters' eyes are twitching as we leave.
>U

>red beer

It's called chelada you faggot

>Comedy genius
It has toilets for the dinners.
Unfunny redditor, the post.

>go to A&W
>get me my dub
>have dub but something feels a little off, like I'm missing something

This was a beautiful story

Reminds me of my family, I think I would love to be there when this happened...

What sugar coated reality do you live in?

>live
What do you mean?

Do you think I did something wrong in this situation?

Fucking Rekt the lefty faggot.

>Worst restaurant experience
>missing sugar
I'd hate to hear about the worst experience of your life
>I fell over and got poo on my jacket

She took the sugar away

Kek

>at asian restaurant
>dad says "sank you" every time
>looks around with a half smile waiting for us to burst into tears laughing and acknowledge his epic joke

>go out with mentally unstable aunt
>literally has no sense of what is going on around her
>restaurant is in a very conservative town
>very long motorcade goes by for what we assumed was a police officer death
>everyone in restaurant gets up to the glass storefront to watch them go by
>see hundreds of blue lives matter flags
>aunt had not seen flags before, thought it was associated with a terrorist organization
>starts yelling shit like "DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM" and "I'M GLAD THEY DIED"
>disgusted look on everyone's face
>tried explaining what the flag meant
>only made the problem worse
>sat down and forgot anything had happened
>get treated poorly for the rest of our visit

>45 minutes away from end of business hours
>get mad when people walk in before closing time

Entitled fucking cunt waitress.

My experience with Venice is that if it has an English menu outside it's shit. I got lost with my wife at lunchtime one day and wandered the small alleys until we found a small restaurant...They served fish only, barely spoke any English and it was the only good meal we had during our holiday

> responding to forgposts
Just ignore bait.

you a hero

I went to a restaurant and there was a fat guy and I was the fat guy

Best: Whole in wall Thai joint, looked meh on the outside but super friendly people and not bad looking inside. Best pineapple fried rice I've ever had,only place that I was not dissapointed with anything on their menu,ever.

Worst: Used to love going to this one chinese buffet place in the mall because it had a cool entrance and the food was decent. Last chance I had to eat there I found a dead fly in my broccoli chicken. Was such a terrible way to see that place off.

>not going WHHEEEYYYYY whenever you hear a glass or plate smash
Once one person does it the whole restaurant joins in

That was the sink.

fellow brit detected

>indian place ran by 5 guys and rarely uas customers
>guy praying in corner when i walk in
>taking a seat inturrupts him and he stops, feels awkward as fuck
>they have no items on menu
>find this out by ordering something then they tell me its not available, over and oved
>only a few things left, ask what they have
>kebab
>was pretty good kebab

Went back for kebab a few times, they got comfortable enough to conti ue sleeping and praying on the floor when i went.

>Go to Chinese/Japanese/any other East Asian restaurant
>Dad tries to sneak in "dog" with an Asian stereotype voice at the end of every order (e.g. "Can we have the dragon roll dog")
I wonder how much spit I've ingested from these places

If you guys don't have obese parents then you don't understand real humiliation in eatery establishments

>Father is 340lbs
>Mother is 260lbs but much shorter
>Once a month they force me to go out and eat with them
>They always try to be cute
>They are proud of their obesity
>They have 'props' they bring with them to every restaurant
>For example, they find the restaurants menu online then write it down on a huge piece of card and pull it out at the restaurant and start saying ''big menu for big people!'' and laughing while everyone else is silent
>at the end of the meal my dad always squats and rips his pants causing change to fall out because he hides it there then says ''we tip with a rip!''
>they always laugh at me for ordering normal portions

LITERALLY humiliates me every time and they don't care.

Veeky Forums cooks the finest pasta

>"we tip with a rip!"

>at the end of the meal my dad always squats and rips his pants causing change to fall out because he hides it there then says ''we tip with a rip!''

I like you man, I like you

That was hilarious

This may shock you, but I believe your father might be an African American.

Referring to other people as "dog" or "dawg" is a common slang in ebonics.

For example:
>Ayyy, how 'bout you hit me up wit' summa dat dragon roll, dawg?

>dad regularly called the same waiter "Chopstick Charlie" every time we went
>would always give the guy a large tip if he told my dad stories or a dance
It was always fucking funny seeing that chinese guy dance for pocket change

It's an old copypasta.

hmm
just remembered this one

I had another bad experience a few months ago actually, and I can understand why the rudeness

>Be me
>Sitting at a resutrant with a group of people
>Time comes to ordering food
>I'm asking the waiter questions
>He is trying to ignore me
>I'm asking about the specific on the menu etc..
>He just says keep looking at the menu and you can figure it out
>He must be anti-social
>I was asking specific questions about the food and sauces..
>But its all explained on the menu right...

...

Fuck you're onto us

>go to Asian restaurant
>dad starts making fun of Asian accents
>doesn't realize that the waiter is right next to hI'm pouring water
Every fucking time

>pet restaurant
As in a restaurant where you're encouraged to bring your pets? Sounds unsanitary and annoying.

This pasta is stale and old.

No, like the restaurant has 30+ cats that are used to people that you can go and cuddle with while you eat.

He's right tho, drink water from anywhere your body's not used to and you will end up sick

good post but don't use reddit spacing

your dad seems like a cool guy

I've met someone like this before

>visiting relatives near niagara falls area
>some older dude that's friends with one of them
>we're in a parking lot
>drive past group of asian tourists
>he yell "godzilla godzilla" at them

;_;

TWIST: He left a tip.

You care more than the Chinese do. I assure you.

Dysfunctional people are immune to criticism now?

What the fuck is this! Got my laugh...

I'm a terrible resturant goer, my friends and I are really loud, racist, obnoxious and destructive in general. However we tip well.

Here's a dennys story,

>at dennys
>already had a night of fucking around and being goofballs
>come in and order water
>black waiter comes over and brings us water for 8 people
>we all drink our water as fast as possible so he has to constantly bring us water
>gets to the point were we are just pouring water on the floor right after he fills the glass and saying "hey buddy you forgot to fill my glass" pouring it on our heads and asking for refills laughing our asses off.
>he just stands there with rage in his eyes and says "My name is john and I'm gonna kill you."
>he stops bringing us water
>eat, tip, pay and leave.

A harmless story, have a few more good ones for another time.

This would be hilarious if I were 12

>muh /pol/

Classique

>been going to restauraunt for the last few years, older staff know my name
>new waiter is kind of an asshole, won't respond to me asking about a dish i've yet to try, has pretty bad acne and resting bitchface
>tell him that's funny and if i can see manager
>complain to him about the attitude towards the table and myself
>come back next week, new waiter isn't there anymore

should rephrase, the table as in family and myself

t. never had friends

nothing like dining on cat hair and piss

best and worst experience was the shitty chinese restaurant in my old college town

- really mediocre food but open until 4am so perfect when drunk
- if you are a super frequent good customer they give you a phone number so you can order 24 hours a day
- they deal weed

Shut the fuck up loser

Went to Cheesecake Factory with the family with the hopeful attempt to find a decent meal. As I walked in with my three year old son and wife though I was met by a mixed girl who was acting as the hostess. She didn't greet us, smile, or even acknowledge us. She simply looked up and in a monotone voice said "you want to eat or what?" Choosing to be polite rather than confrontational I said "yes please we'd like a booth". What does she do, she sits us at a table right in the middle of the restaurant I had to ask our server to change seats which he kindly allowed. So we sat down not knowing why she had been so rude to us and think that the worst was behind us. Well we waited for our server to order our drinks. 5 minutes passed, then 10 minutes he comes back over and places our orders as if nothing had happened. No apology or even acknowledgement that he had left his table waiting with no drinks. This is the type of service I might expect from a Chile's on a friday night not so much a Cheesecake Factory at 3 pm on a Tuesday. Well our food came out and all looked fine until I realized that none of us had the right dishes. They had mixed up our food with another tables. Rather than remaking the dish like they should since someone else had already put their fork in it, they simply tried to switch it around the right way as if nothing happened. So I told the waiter that I wasn't going to eat food that someone else had already started to dig into. He apologized and got the manager who then apologized but no discount like there should have been. Nothing more than a verbal statement. Well for the rest of the meal our server ignored us even when our drinks ran empty, but luckily nothing eventful happened. At the end he brought us our check and thanked us and that's when I noticed we had been charged twice for them remaking our dishes. I obviously brought this to the attention of the Manager who fixed it. at no point were we rude to staff or did we act pretentious.

Nah you just sound like obnoxious faggots