What's the one (1) book I read in front of a man to attract him? He's like you, Veeky Forums

this, but one of the smaller ones. so it's not too clunky.

Imagine finding a girl reading Gass or Gaddis... I think that would make even me approach her

The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy

Man, fuck that book. I got further into FW than Tristram Shandy.

A Hero of Our Time

Any Bolaño.

t. absolutely humorless

to be honest

Physical appearance is all that matters, I don't give a shit what a girl is reading as long as she is attractive enough. The reverse is also true: I will avoid and ignore any unattractive girl, even if she is reading my favorite books

It's simple biology.

nah i loved rabelais who sterne apparently adored. now that fucker was funny.
>muh coitus interruptus
>muh inability to finish a story
>isn't that hilarious????
>ISNT THAT FUNNY???????????

whereas rabelais has a wall made of cunts. guarantee sterne didn't come up with anything close.

if I see a woman reading that's an instant boner killer for me. they should know their limits

>i love to read le wacky quirky british man!!! xD i'm so unique and sophisticated!!!
kill yourself, tristram shandy sucks

tom jones is pretty neat tho. honestly i just can't do non-linear comedic works without a little access to the references therein. rabelais is an eternal humor tho.

...

Playboy, inverted.

Holy shit...

Be practical please

It'd make me wanna hit her.

No gril would ever read that.

Haven't seen that in a while, sheez.

Hmm... go on

Something I've been dying to read, but haven't had the opportunity to pick up.
That way the intrigue is doubled.

Women "On Schopenhauer"

No book. Just do this.

>Hmm. . .go on

Oblomov

any retarded commercial author, the dumber you seem the better

dana spiotta

sure is in here

Let me give you a quick rundown of every woman I've ever had sex with and their literary interests, you can decide which works best for you

>1) virginity girl
>she didn't really read very much
>probably still doesn't
>if she does I can't imagine it's anything good
>2) first love girl
>jewish
>kooky, humorous, funnier than me
>does improv and sketch comedy
>liked vonnegut and PKD
>3) adoragirl
>jewish
>very kind, always smiling, and acted very jewish
>adorable in all respects
>read lots of nonfiction
>would develop weird and highly-original interests, like a book directed at a middle-aged mothers about how to talk to teenage daughters about not dressing like a slut
>4) philosophy girl
>was a philosophy major
>super infp, vegan, empathetic and compassionate to a fault, which I found adorable
>margaret atwood, women authors, one hundred years of solitude type of stuff
>I think I'm still in love with her
>5) one night stand girl
>left a condom with her phone number underneath my windshield
>6) math girl
>jewish
>super diligent and hardworking
>made me laugh a lot, she made a lot of weird faces
>audiobooks, so no help here
>7) witch girl
>jewish
>9/10
>creative writing major, art hoe, kinda fucked up in the head
>fluent in latin
>modernism (especially Woolf), sylvia plath, greek poets
>fucking ruined me, would-not-do-again/10
>8) video game girl
>fluent in two foreign languages
>used to post on this site
>fantasy novels
>9) punk rock girl
>jewish
>art major
>kinda tomboy-ish in her mannerisms, but overall feminine in appearance
>doesn't read

I have a first date with another girl (art-hoe type) in an hour. If you want I'll report back with data on her literary interests and personality.

Low-functioning autists like you shouldn't be allowed to post on Veeky Forums.

ad hominem

Well, an actually attractive girl reading de Sade with any feeling other than horror is indeed pretty sexy, But beyond that, I'd immediately get hot and bothered if I saw a girl reading an original Greek or Latin text, especially if it were some obscure Church Father's tract, or one of the more obscure and divisive poets, like Lucan. But most of all I'd like to bury my face in the nether regions of a Hindi goddess learned in the Sanskrit. But really, OP, the whole pretending to be a girl thing is pretty played out.

Paul Virilio - Information Bomb

ad logicam

Wow we got a Chad over here.

Moby Dick

...

>only 9
>Chad
Thanks 4 the (U) but I'm not impressed with myself.

>only 9

>only 9
>only [nonzero amount]
>only

fuck off normie

Hypersphere

It'll be >only 10 a few hours from now ;^)

Greentext us later.

>only 9

Triggered. Please be more sensitive next time you choose to post about your sex life.

Schopenhauer

Nothing. I'd love it if a girl had a hobby she really cared about, but it shouldn't be one that involves me.

this would turn me on, but not because le epic women essay. i hate seeing schopenhauer regarded as that stodgy old misogynist when he has a very rich philosophical body of work which that fucking essay is totally tangential to. any woman who could look past it must be at least pretty cool.

Action Comics all the way

>Action Comics
>posts Marvel

>He's like you, Veeky Forums
Then don't read, because I think people who read in public only do that because they're seeking attention. Just like you. Go back to the kitchen and I'll enjoy you more desu.

goddamnit you're right

>got stood up

They are kidding with you. He is right though, if you are unable to surpase evident rage-baits you shouldn't be here.

House of Leaves

The Legend of the 10 Elemental Masters

only because said man would think you're an autistic virgin math princess

>autism speaks

No one gives a shit about others reading in public.

pls be my bf

I get really frustrated when i see normies reading patrician tier books in public.

I do give a shit. I'm an authoritarian.

i dont want no smaaht girl. smaht girls are a pain. gimme a smily gurl that would make me muffins on saturdays. so i guess a trendy cookbook

Philosophy in general - but if you are not interested, don't pretend to be. It'll hit you back in some way, the man will have some resentment for your lure.
However, try avoiding most contemporary philosophers.
Best lure though; Kierkegard, Kant, Hegel, Rousseau (he will be triggered).
I'd like to list Aristotle there, but generally speaking no reader takes him seriously; it comes off as school work.

>Dostoyevsky, any work
>Master i margarita
If you can read some works in their original language, it's bound to be a plus.

Reading Asimov is dangerous. It'll make you respect George Lucas and his vision of Jar Jar.

>I'd like to list Aristotle there, but generally speaking no reader takes him seriously; it comes off as school work.

yeah because immanuel "grammar creates da world" kant and gwf "I'm a prophet not a philosopher" hegel are much better than him right

So she should read the Torah?

Jews act like women, though.
>hate each other
>group up with each other to combat perceived threats
>feel eternally threatened by others
>use social signaling and crocodile tears to manipulate others to do things for you or to threaten others
>be tsundere about it all
>lie a lot, don't see an issue with it
>pretend that all fault is in others always and forever
>self centered thinking and world view
If jews were cute traps, nobody would have much of an issue with them.

you can probably skip the book, just advance on him

Dating all these jews why would you do that user?

I advise somewhat against this. Women who approach throw men so off that we might reject simply because they come off as thirsty.

I can only speak for myself but I love a controlled initiation from the other party...

as opposed to men who are never thirsty?

come off it having every woman on the street come up to them and tell them they want to fuck right now is exactly what every man wants if only for their ego's sake

the only reason they ever act contrary to this is because reverse psychology works or they're just afraid of being tricked or humiliated

While I tend to agree, I think you're making too much of an absolute statement. I can definitely imagine a man turning down a woman that immediately requested sex. It may seem frivolous or lacking intimacy to him. Sure, his ego will probably like it but that isn't the whole of a man.

The Histories of Middle Earth.

I would swear fealty to such a girl on the spot.

>mfw reading autistic lotr comics on tumblr
It's slim fucking pickings out here.

>Woman hijacks board for her own personal spotlight: the thread

>not loving the thirst

...

my diary desu

A cookbook.

50 Shades of Gay.
It's better than the book it's title spoofs.

>Barnes & Noble

>Girl
>Funnier than you

You must be REALLY unfunny

>All of these qt women will debase themselves by willingly fucking someone as clearly retarded as the guy who typed this

Are all women a meme, is there no hope?

It doesn't matter. Even if she were reading any of my favorite books, I would know that she reads them for the wrong reasons.

Here's a fucking tip for you, Veeky Forums.

You don't want to date a literary girl. You better get a girl who is stupid as shit. She needs to be really good at doing your laundry and cooking for you while you're writing the gobbldy gook that comes out of your head. She needs to be stupid enough to support you while you're gambling on the belief that your ideas are good enough. She better suck some good dick, too.

Something by Dostoevsky.

>as opposed to men who are never thirsty
Never? That wasn't the implication. Women who approach come off as thirsty. Men who seem thirsty are shot down just the same.

Last summer I was sitting opposite a hot girl in a short summer dress on the tube, crossing and uncrossing her legs and fanning her face with a copy of Delta of Venus.

Last summer I was sitting opposite a hot girl on the tube. She was wearing a short cotton dress and crossing and uncrossing her legs while fanning her face with a copy of Delta of Venus.

This. It really makes me penis move.

The Bible
The Silmarillion

I can't even imagine a girl reading HoME. Btw, I only have Morgoth's Ring, if you've read several of them which did you enjoy the most?

Neuromancer.

Plutarch

hahaha underrated

Don't read to impress men you vapid girl. You're missing the point.

> mfw when i read juliette/120 days/philosophie dans in highschool

> mfw i went to an all girl's highschool

wow u are really all faggots