Veeky Forumserary confessions thread. Confess your sins and repent, you plebs!

Veeky Forumserary confessions thread. Confess your sins and repent, you plebs!

I prefer prose to poetry so much so that I can't enjoy the latter much at all. I read Shakespeare and feel nothing.

I enjoy YA and LNs

I have a younger brother who says he is desperate to become an author. Part of me respects him because he must have some determination behind him: he's only 19 and he's already written short stories, poems and I believe a full-length novel too. I try to help him out by reading his work and recommending books to him that might help him develop as well as appeal to him. However...

> his work is full of typos, over-use of hyphens, semi-colons and grammatical errors (sometimes he connects independent clauses together with a string of hyphens because he says he likes long sentences that will make his book bigger)
> He always asks for long novels because "I want them to look nice on my shelf" and he admits he's never likely to read them. I get him short works like The Trial or The Double but even then he doesn't want to read anything too often
> he sees any piece of constructive feedback as a criticism of his personal worth ("You wouldn't say that if you didn't think I was shitty, why would you tell me that???!" etc). He's even criticised and whined about his teachers being mean because they give him feedback notes when he gets a paper marked.
> He e-mailed local agents nagging them to sign him up and they all ignored him, then he wonders why nobody returns his emails.
> he submitted a short story entry to a competition last year and he says "i'm still waiting for my prize" even though he clearly didn't win.
> He says he wants to write an epic, long fantasy series full with illustrations, maps and made-up languages but spends 10 minutes making his characters.
> He says he's the best writer of his age and that when the publisher prints a photo of him on the sleeve of his book he wants to wear a Zorro mask so nobody knows who he is.
> His work is full of cliches such as "white as snow" and "dark as night"
> after he's read a book he bins it saying "why do I need to read it again, I know what the twist is"

Is this just an age thing? Will he grow out of this, Veeky Forums?

I prefer reading non-fiction

>19
> He says he's the best writer of his age and that when the publisher prints a photo of him on the sleeve of his book he wants to wear a Zorro mask so nobody knows who he is.

Sorry to ask user but is your brother an autismo? He sounds like he needs heavy hits of reality to help ground him so my main advice will just be there for him during his inevitable existential crisis desu.

I honestly don't know if he has autism or not, but I've thought about this before. He really struggles to recognise when he's pissed someone off or upset them, often saying when it has been highlighted for him that he doesn't mean to be like that, yet he never changes his attitude, saying "that's just who I am, I can't help it." I told him that's more acceptable when you're an independent woman who don't need no man, but when he's 19 and often complains about things, I think (or at least hope) it's just because he's at that age. I don't know, man. It can be pretty damn frustrating having to deal with him.

Him not recognizing and/or not caring if he's upset someone is a pretty strong sign of it. You also said he takes constructive criticism perosnally despite having been explained why that's not true, I used to have similar problems and I always suspected I was a bit of a sperg. Idk user I would just try and encourage objective introspection as much as possible, however you might do that. There's a good chance that reality will kick his ass and he'll learn on his own which is kind of scary because I feel like Western men are becoming much less resilient and stoic at a rapid rate. He may not handle it well so just be prepared for that.

I don't take anyone who posts anime pictures seriously.

I feel like I'm preparing for that eventually. He constantly thinks that what he's being taught at home - how to behave in the wider world - won't be necessary because "nobody's punched me for what I have to say yet."

Partially, and somewhat selfishly, I'm glad I'm not like that myself, but it does worry me when my younger brother just doesn't click with many of the social conventions just because he doesn't realise how to behave. I'd suspect he'd be a NEET or something if he doesn't mature eventually.

Here's my confession: I'm 19 and I've hardly read anything. Not that I brag about being a reader in real life, nor do I ever really participate in Veeky Forums threads because I know I'll just muddy the waters. I spend more time browsing Veeky Forums and reading Wikipedia articles, quotes pages and cartoons that summarize literature than I do reading anything for real.

I've only entered this slight infatuation with "philosophy" because I found what I was previously doing with my life (music) to be unfulfilling. In my real life, I've been trying to leave my comfort zone more, and refrain from doing things just because I want to do them, and it's been alright so far. I used to try to talk about philosophy with my friends but it got embarrassing because I always knew I hardly understood anything, and I could just say stupid BS to my friends to keep the conversation going but we were just babbling. So now I try to avoid talking about philosophy, but it still pains me when people say things that just seem like they might not be true, or when I can tell I'm lying to myself...

I'm 19 and I'm not even half as retarded as your brother, and I'm pretty retarded.
I think he might be legit autistic.
A least he has writen more than me, so theres that, try to look an the full half of the glass. Maybe, if you get him on meds, he will get better and may have a chance to be a good writer desu

You are literally, LITERALLY, me, but I do read and have read a decent amount of novels, short stories and poetry the last 8 months, but I always feel like I could be reading more, why am I even here ffs.
Anyways good luck, even plebier version of me, go read something.

> wish to pick up a book, a collection of essays on post-war Japanese cinema written from varying perspectives, mainly for a dissertation
> it's out of print and it's not in the university library, the book had a limited print
> get told by uni librarian they believe a copy may be available at the city library
> go there in the afternoon
> it's an old, run-down building, the entrance to the building isn't very clear - end up having to climb through the window
> music from Deus Ex plays in the overhead speakers loudly, find wooden crates in the corner and questionable stains
> very few books, the few books there have creased covers plastered with graffiti protected by laminated plastic
> the shelf of non-fiction and reference books consists solely of MONSTER BOOK OF MONSTERS
> "lucky dip" trash can full of shitty books on "sale" for 10 dollars
> looking around the bare shelves
> see computers and a library database, try searching for the book I want but it's not here
> overhear the sound of a homeless woman masturbating in front of a webcam by a computer a few rows ahead of me, she smelt of unwashed penis
> rush to tell the librarian of this disgusting behaviour
> end up getting lost, start crying
> begin to fart loudly
> the librarian pops out of nowhere (she's Viola Davis) wearing a bib, she says she'll call the police if i don't stop farting out racial slurs
> i tell her of the masturbating woman and she throws up all down her bib
> she takes off her shoe and starts hitting me
> tell her i'm sorry
> Cormac McCarthy starts pointing and laughing at me
> he hands me a pamphlet reading "Print is dead" and when I look up he was gone

Now I'm not allowed back there for life.

> consists solely of MONSTER BOOK OF MONSTERS

I spat out my juice you fuck

>Is this an age thing?
Nope. He's just stupid.

I use audiobooks. Fight me.

Pleb!

I exclusively read edgy literature and don't give a fuck about the classics, philosophy or any of that other bullshit

I genuinely do enjoy reading, but like all my other interests or things in my life it's put in second place to my internet addiction. I'll read for at least an hour every day for about a week or so, until I find something new on the internet that captures my interest and I'll be unable to keep up my dedication to reading.
It's made worse by the fact I bought some books I am interested in reading for their historical merit, for example a collection of some Icelandic sagas, rather than purely reading enjoyment, and although I don't enjoy reading them much I'm too stubborn to just quit and read something else so I end up not reading anything at all.

I only read to seem more interesting in the eyes of others

Feel you mate.
Ugh.

Turn off your computer for a week, dude. It helps. Unless if you work from home/need to work with a computer on a daily basis, it shouldn't be too much of an issue. Or schedule your day more efficiently, like set aside 3 hours for reading (not necessarily altogether, but maybe an hour in the morning, an hour at midday and an hour at evening). It worked for myself when all I was doing was using the internet. Maybe find a quiet spot outside of the house, without any phones or tablets, and read? I'm tempted to find a park bench in the Summer and use that to get myself out more.

you sound like the annoying fat trenchcoat wearer at college who would play yugioh on his own in the stairwell near the fire exit so nobody would notice him

I read asstons of genre lit/sagas/history to help me with my editing, as most of the work I get is genre lit. I'm finding that authors don't do their due diligence. Want to sound like Tolkien? Fucking read the material that inspired him throughout the course of his life. Read the source material. Go to the root. If I never have to give feedback on a "my protag is a teenager who has no discernible personality but he can BEND TIME" plotline, it will be too soon.

Also, if you want to write a book, just fucking do it. Sit down, break down your day/responsibilities, plan out time to do the fucking work. If you really want to do it, you won't care if that means waking up 30 minutes earlier every day. Don't jack yourself off over the idea of writing a book. Also, absolutely no resting on your laurels. You will be completely fucking forgotten in no time.

I totally missed the point of this thread but whatever.

I learned philosophy almost exclusively from secondary sources.

19? that sounds like 15...

I read Eleanor Cameron's The Court of the Stone Children at least every other year because that's the book that got me reading, at 10! It's still wonderful..

I read a lot to hide how fucking stupid I am.

Me too.

I really do this, I'm not memeing, to hide the fact that I'm actually very stupid

>can't deduce for shit.
>can't do any sort of maths.
>can't learn a language.
>can't understand/fathom/imagine abstract concepts be it math related or philosophy related.
>can't express my thoughts verbally or by writing so that they'd make sense
etc. list goes on.

I would most likely fail a block test if I did it, JfC I'm absolute giga retard it's so fucking demoralizing to be this fucking stupid.

:(

I read compulsively to hide my crippling depression.

>favorite author committed ritual suicide
>visit his grave each year and weep
>have a set of his works on my desk
>hide covers with whimsical book covers to avoid questions
>remind myself every day i can't die yet because someone needs to leave flowers for him
>honestly just too chicken shit to follow in his footsteps
>i'm utterly disgusting and i hate myself

And you're a stupid wojakposter too. It all correlates nicely.

Sounds you like you need to read some philosophy

i couldn't finish Elementary Particles because the gross ass sex scenes made me have wet dreams

ugh

I wrote really shit poems that preached loads of shit and linked it all over social media when i did not know what i was talking about. I also wrote in a journal where i talked about 'philosophy' like a complete retard, a pseudo intellectual drug addict with no grounding in reality. Moreover i had no interest in actually producing good work, just coming across like i was some genius for wanting to write shit.

When I sobered up and I try to forget i wrote that stuff / put that stuff behind me because it wasnt a good time at all for me in life but it echoes in the back of my mind as if i've inflicted a brutal wound on the art itself through my selfishness and arrogance. If only i could ask for Athena's forgiveness.

Man... so many people thought i was such a fucking joke. for good reason. loads of people fucking despised me just for putting out some gibberish online. Others who also went to creative writing classes compared what they learnt with the shit i was writing and joked that i had no idea what i was on about. 'Art? yea right.'
In retrospect its sort of ridiculous. But there will always be that wish that i have never done it and just work harder without seeking everyones approval.

But hindsight is 20/20.

Same.

write a book about him

i make pdfs of my books with discreet errors.

>change a random character's name
>re-arrange paragraphs
>remove an entire page of the book

I wear girls panties, make-up and perfume whilst prancing round my apartment saying things like "I'm a special princess", "make way for my vagina", "I'm delicious, just so voluptuous and sssssssensual", "have you heard about me? Well you should've because I'm fabulous!" etc to get in the right mindset before I write female characters.

I'm a guy by the way.

why

my favorite writer is DFW but that's probably because I haven't read much else

I#m writing a paper about a novel i haven't read yet (and probably won't). It's due to Friday. But this does not hold me back to feel highest praise for my ideas and ironically my mind is mostly occupied with thoughts of divinity and feeling as the special snowflake, the hot white shining light at the department among all the gray sheens. I get the most satisfaction of this fantasy when i picture my self as despite of my creative superiority a still humble member among the others, as a caring and upright primus inter pares. In my every day life I consider myself as immune against narcissism and daydream about how I would renounce every praise while emphasize on the qualities of my fellow peers, which are more or less not existent as such, just a bunch of people I gt to know superficially. Eventhough I am depictably willing to self monitor my inner stream of motvation and fantasy: How could I oversea that the very fantasy, the very fact that it is an issue in my mind, of not being narcissim is narcissism at its purest. A Narcissism that cannot be lived out and thats why I moprh it into the opposite. And the worst of all that is, that it made me procrostinate from actual writing the paper, I made my 'Luftschloss' by reading stuff and explicitly searching for obscure and unconverntional bridges of thought. Writing, no FANTASIZING in my head. What a fool am I ?

Would read

I am, what you call it, AFFECTED by books, but never has a book changed my life in any meaningful or epochal way.

Seldom are actual tears shed over books either, but I often exclaim or motion as the characters do, physically laugh when I find something funny, or grieve and strive for the sake of the characters at the least bit of hardship or misfortune. But beyond the empathetic qualities for fiction, and even for philosophy, I never adhere to any lessons I've learned or apply any knowledge I've gained despite being able to directly quote from a few. I experience a certain catharsis after finishing a novel of magnitude and am at awe over my own achievement, but it never progresses any further than that. Years ago I finished Portrait by Joyce and was stunned after I completed it, believing it would significantly alter my way of looking at things. And I have changed since then without a doubt, but it's certainly not over anything I've read (at least not consciously, but I'm no psychologist). I wouldn't go so far as to say it was me who changed myself, but I will go so far as to say it was. It was a gradual change in mindset, not something that happens because of one or two books, leading me to the conclusion people who claim a single book has changed their life is likely not because of the merit of the book itself but the context it's read in, which probably seems like a lot of common sense, but even then I'm doubtful of their advertised effect. And the worst thing is, I know of the power of books through my empathetic reaction towards them rivaled not even close by other visual mediums. My logic isn't the most sound, but it's how I see things at this impasse

tl;dr I can't read

I've never read a book in my life

I like poetry and theatre though

>I#m writing a paper about a novel i haven't read yet (and probably won't). It's due to Friday.

Entirety of high school for me lel, never had any interesting books to pick from. One time I bullshitted my way through a presentation on a book I'd only read some synopses for, and the teacher praised mine as being one of the best.

I respond to art on an emotional as well as an intellectual level. What is wrong with me, Veeky Forums?

I've been posting here for six plus years and only started reading maybe a year or two ago and around 100 books.

you arent autistic enough
maybe you should get some more vaccinations

so is then to read the full novel as prerequisite for understanding just a meme ? or does it make literary criticism a joke?

Isn't it funny how well public education prepares one for the lies, deceits, and manipulations one must put up with to be successful in the workforce? Seems to me Devos got a pretty cush job.

I sometimes enjoy edgy and/or pretentious fanfiction.

Who is that author?

I don't give a shit about books. I just talk about anime and fan fiction here.

What's your favourite anime fan-fiction base? Mine's slayers

Mishima?

I seem to have convinced several people that I'm some kind of tragic literary genius just through posturing and giving the right impression, but I've actually read very little and written even less

no this isn't an age thing. i was pretty retarded when i was 19 (like 2 years ago) but not this retarded.

I'm afraid I like being perceived as a reader more than I actually like reading. I often wonder if I would be happier focusing on a different hobby instead.

Well done.

Most of the books I read bore me. And I still finish them, because they're classics.

For example, right now I'm 30% through Nausea and the title describes well my reading experience.

What should I do?

Throw it to the trash and go read some shit that you like. Life is too short.

I haven't read a book in a few months but I'm going to read some Raymond Chandler stories now.

I buy books faster than i read them. I can't stop it. I buy like 2 o 3 books per month and i finish 1 so i always have more books to read than books finished.

the best way to avoid this is not having any well-read friends :(

welders and landscapers dont give a fuck if you understand ulysses

I enjoy reading fan fiction.

I believe late 19th century British children's literature is one of the greatest achievements of humankind.

I don't put self help books I've read on my Goodreads profile

> He says he's the best writer of his age and that when the publisher prints a photo of him on the sleeve of his book he wants to wear a Zorro mask so nobody knows who he is.

Can't believe people fell for this.

This is a good sign, since you realize that self-help books are for faggots and are an embarrassment to anyone over the age of 14. All you need to do now is to develop the self-respect needed to never read a self-help book again.

i got into reading literature via my little pony fanfiction

>from colourful ponies to the greeks in 5 autistic steps

All my "hobbies" are just various ways of consumption.
>books
>music
>you name it
I wish I could do something creative for once but I'm too stupid.

>Throws away books after reading

You have to put in the effort

Once did the same only knowing the names of 3appearing characters, knowing it plays in a mine falls under the definition of what we learned was "romanticism".

天使のたまご

Even Eco recognized it's a perfectly good level of analysis, strictly speaking there's no need to read the material you're discussing.

I don't read fan fics, bro. I pretend to be developing one.

I'm in my mid 20s yet I have read very few (good fiction) books for my age, I think.
I've been reading way too much trash since I turned 21 or 22, can't remember.
I still read every day, almost all the time.
But I read stupid shit like manga, comic books, LNs, VNs, etc. And I do feel the impact of it, I do feel more stupid, or I reflect back and realize I've just put enough hours to read in search of lost time but instead I used that time to read really dumb shit.
Whenever I read a good book, I am marveled again and remember how much in love I was/am with good writing, but I keep coming back to eating fast food basically.

Also, since my group of friends and family tends to not read at all (other than my parents), there's not much I get recommended, so lately all I've read is basically Veeky Forums recommendations (which have been mostly great, thanks Veeky Forums).

>back in senior year of high school
>no one I meet is interested in anything beyond reading YA lit
>finally meet girl who has interest in writing
>encourage girl who says she wants to become an author
>later learn her idea of "writing" is fantasy furry RPing with a ftm tranny and writing "gory" descriptions that would only disturb a 12 year-old
>her prose, especially diction, is muddled and obtuse
>continue to encourage her
>she is currently attending uni for an English degree
Who was in the wrong here?

VNs are the pinnacle of art desu

You if you haven't fucked her yet, bonus wrong points if you actually have 'faith' in her.

Does anyone here like entry level stuff? Or have any old fondness for them?

Pulp fiction is underrated and Robert Howard is my favourite fantasy author

I'm not proud of this but I'm 25 and haven't read any novels of any kind since I left highschool. My last year of high school was enlish lit AP and I feel that it pretty much destroyed my love of reading forced to read 1 different book every 2 weeks chosen by the teacher no pleasure reading at all.
will I ever fall in love with reading again?

Entry level stuff is great. Harry Potter was a little after my time and I didn't read it until later, but I can see how it got so popular.

I grew up on the Redwall books, and I still reread one or two every now and then for the nostalgia.

If you're anything like me, it's not the force-reading that ruins reading for pleasure, it's learning to read critically. Taking writing and criticism classes in college absolutely destroyed my leisure reading. It's impossible to enjoy something when you spend all your time looking at the language, the literary devices, the plot structure, the characterizations and character arcs, and the other hundred fifty things we learn to look at.
It actually ruined movies for me too, if I'm honest.

I don't like reading sequels or later installments in series. I've been too disappointed too many times in the past, so when I like a book I very rarely read anything else in the same setting by the same author.

this is what i told myself until i realized i just sparknoted 90% of the books anyways

i was just too dumb at the time for my appreciation of the works to overtake the lack of instant gratification they gave me. i was still fiending for the dopamine hits of genrefic. i grew out of it during college.

knowing anything about philosophy or social science and knowing anything about movies in tandem ruins virtually every movie. movies are overwhelmingly fucking garbage and im extremely selective with what ill watch.

I watch anime and I like it
It's taken me 2 months to get 3/4 of the way through War & Peace

I read often but never real retain anything I've read. Sometimes i just feel like Im wasting my time but i feel much better after a reading session.

...

nah I critically read and did a good job imo in the class. But I think you make a good point about being addicted to select genres.

I feel like I can put all that aside and turn my brain off as it were. I really think the sheer volume of what I had to read just burned me out. I was really disappointed with my class to be honest I expected Shakespear, Poe, Twain, Wild, and Eliot. Instead she only focused on 20th century american authors.

>can't express my thoughts verbally or by writing so that they'd make sense
This is me. I hate it. It's like, every time I try to articulate a thought it feels like I'm trying to transcribe a dream. It's especially frustrating when it comes to discussing things like politics which atm is pretty much the other thing I'm interested in.

I have to stop myself from putting parentheticals in my parentheticals because I'm too lazy to actually organize my thoughts (Resisting the urge even in this post).

I want you to write my wedding vows.

I buy books with furrys on the covers. I hope to someday dedicate a bookcase to this.