Tfw normally a brainlet, but suddenly intuited calculus while on LSD after years of math failure

>tfw normally a brainlet, but suddenly intuited calculus while on LSD after years of math failure
How do regular smart people deal with all that information in their head all the time? I just wanted to cry and fall asleep after just a couple hours of knowing too much.

they don't, because that's not what it's like. understanding calculus doesn't make your life an acid trip. christ.

>knowing too much
The fuck?
You got high and realized that you can approximate things. This isn't revelatory knowledge we keep hidden for only the elite minds that can handle such a shock.

>understanding calculus doesn't make your life an acid trip
Maybe you just don't understand calculus.

>his tiny brain overloaded from trying to comprehend basic math

>understanding calculus makes your life an acid trip
niggawut?

Is it normal to be really good at calculus (to the point that i'm nominated as a TA solely because of aptitude) but then have trouble with discrete math? By discrete math i mean the sophomore level undergrad course.

Yes. It's called being an engineer.

b-but i want to be a mathematician. Infinity and continuous structures just make more sense to me. It's not like discrete is my first encounter with rigor either, I had excellent teachers for calculus who really cared about that sort of thing.

Incidentally I'm gay.

Wrong! Engineer would be the other way round

I don't know man, you tell me. I'm acing through functional analysis, algebraic topology etc. but graph theory, combinatorics and formal langues kicked my ass HARD when I tried those courses.

No, understanding calculus makes you overwhelmed with the terror of knowing too much.

This

I get what this dude is saying I think. I don't know necessarily that it's the knowledge of calculus that burns. I think it's the knowledge that numbers aren't real, the various infinities that pop up everywhere, and the various implications that come from looking at numbers that way. I've done a lot of acid and a lot of math so I'm a relatively reliable person to ask about this

>calculus

fucking high school shit, christ. gb2/b/

>I think it's the knowledge that numbers aren't real, the various infinities that pop up everywhere

what do you mean

I'm this poster
>Suddenly having the ability to think more critically while on acid
Can confirm. It seems to increase your ability to think about more complex thinks in a faster way. As long as you don't take too much. I feel you OP, I like to think there's some connection between everyone who's done enough acid to die inside. I got a story kind of like that.
>top end intelligence let's say in the top 15% of a random college class
>obtain acid
>drop acid
>among the tons of crazy shit I experienced, was a need to write
>basically rearranging and piecing together everything I know about physics, math, the universe, etc. together
>end up writing in the notes section of my phone as fast as my thumbs can go
>thoughts about the function of time, the origin of the universe, how humans interact with causality, and what we are.
>end up with hundreds of paragraphs over time
>all random shit that on-acid-me wanted sober-me to know
>it's terrifying
>there's a thing that you can't think about

>intuited calculus
i rigored it the first time i took lsd, pleb

1. An awareness of the separation between the real world and our perception of it
Ex. 2 apples plus 2 apples equals 4 apples. But what is an apple? What's the standard size? What's the value? Is one bigger or smaller? How do you identify what a group of atoms has to do before you can call it an apples?
Numbers work practically, but not exactly if you really ask what variables your supposed to calculate.
2. Infinities are pretty scary when you think they shouldn't be there. It puts the attention on the fact that numbering systems are different dependent on what perspective you use. For example, if you can view a race car cross a finish line from the perspective of closer and closer units of time. View it when it's a foot away from the line, then again when it's half of that, then repeat that. The final distance and time you pass the line never comes because you never run out of math to do. I'm referring to something like that, where you can't really think about it when you try. If you do try while on acid, you just end up in a kind of loop. That triggers ego death and it's pretty spooky.

Me and a friend once stood tripping on LSD in front of an art gallery staring at a painting of an Orchid for what seemed like forever... we were both entranced with the appearance that the center of the flower was drawing us infinitely into it but I'll tell you I wasn't doing math

Be careful with your psyche OPie

I understand why diving high into calculus could disturb you, as it deals deeply with infinities, and infinity is a beautifully deep and ineffable concept.

I was reading about phase spaces and dealing with higher dimensions is also quite amazing.
Maths are beautiful and they are also beyond deep.
I think it's okay to do what you are doing, so long as you learn how to tend to your mind.

PS
There are always people who want to feel superior by saying things like "calculus, babby tier" or shit like this.
Sadly this only tells me that they:
>don't understand the subject deeply
>don't appreciate mathematical beauty
>have an inferiority complex

Either way, it's best to let them to their own devices and carry on with your explorations unfazed.

>Incidentally
Yeah...sure...

Could you upload these notes? I experienced higher thought on drugs and I'm really curious what knowledge you came up with. I'm into abstraction, synthesis and teleology (so I'm going for a PhD in math - universal algebra and category theory).

>there's a thing that you can't think about

as in an idea that we are banned from thinking about and we run into countermeasures when our minds get too close to it? or simply an idea whose complexity exceeds our capacity to understand?

>understanding calculus makes you overwhelmed with the terror of knowing too much.
No it doesn't. You'd have to be a brainlet to think such a thing.

More related to your general point: Being gifted was only a problem as long as my peers were dumber than me. At some point, I drank alcohol in the hope that I would become slower. Then I surrounded myself with people equally or more smart. Problem solved.

Addendum: I don't use my smart brain to exclusivelly think about logic, graph theory and all that cool stuff. I am a human with human needs and human friends. My smart brain also thinks about what to cook for dinner, how to make person X happy, what a sweet cat I have (gratefulness is cool to experience and makes a lot of sense psychologically)

>Brainlets can't handle two strong hits of primes

Different guy here, that thing you can't think about is some kind of geometric paradox that happens when your thoughts reach a certain threshold. I got there by trying to imagine larger and larger infinitiy's, it has no name and every time I tried to think about it I would exclaim "oh its the ..... that can't be named!" kinda like I already knew what it was but it was way beyond english.

I have an eidetic memory so it is ideal for computer science for me it helps to be able discern patterns from large amounts of metadata

literally this

Didn't the guy who discovered DNA also do it while high on LSD