ALL i wanted to do was be a scientist, Veeky Forums. Thats all ive ever wanted to do but i fucked myself over...

ALL i wanted to do was be a scientist, Veeky Forums. Thats all ive ever wanted to do but i fucked myself over, so I can't take honors courses. Instead I'm in college prep with scummy, autist, sped kids. They're fucking stupid, so are the honor students. Very, very few students are genuinely smart. One of them, one of my friends, is the only one other than myself that actually appreciates math/science. No one else does. They just want the good grades so they can feel better about themselves and be competitive. I'd kill, literally kill, to be able to be competitive. But I can't. I can only be competitive with literal retards. all I want to do is physics, pathology, surgery, or something of the sort, Veeky Forums. But I can't because being depressed for two years killed me. I hate all of them. If I TRIED JUST A BIT HARDER I'D BE IN fucking geometry, isn't that pathetic? It's beyond pathetic that my goal is to take AP Calc in 12th grade, and even that is unlikely. And other shits that dont appreciate it at all will be able to take it and forget everything about it within a year.

Pic related is my grades as of now. High school, I am 18 by the way.

I AM EIGHTEEN, so do not ban me. I wish I was never born. I don't know what to do. Should I end it Veeky Forums? Do I still have a chance at doing science?

Hooo, this pasta is so fresh.

this isnt a copy pasta please help

Stop the pity party. If you are so called "smart" find a way to succeed and do something about it instead of whining on the internet. Also you are extremely arrogant and most likely stupider than you think. Smart people won't accept they're smart bc they know they have to learn more and more.

Who cares about grades? I had a 2.99 GPA and failed all my AP tests out of high school and now I have a degree in mechanical engineering. Only brainlets get their tushy tickled by grades. You don't have to go to MIT to get a fucking physics degree. Go have fun, no one thinks back to college and thinks "Wow, I had such a high GPA."

First off the Calc AP test is easy as shit, half the people who take it get a 5, just study using mit open course ware or khan academy. Second, once you get into college no one is gonna give a shit about your high school experience, you can accelerate how ever much you want provided your dept doesn't try and restrict you. Seriously, high school doesn't matter unless you're aiming to go to some elite school.

i understand that and I've had self-confidence issues and all that bullshit for years Im on zoloft which is helping but helping a bit too much because im too over confident now and please dont tear me down again

thank you user this post means a lot to me. that is very true

I feel like punching a hole in the wall right now i am very angered.


Its just from what ive heard all the careers i want to do, ie: surgeon, physicist, pathologist, are extremely competitive, which I like about them. But I'm killing myself over this

Kill yourself OP I'm being dead serious

im going to

>senior year of engineering program with 2.5 GPA
>got a starting salary of 75k USD waiting for me if I can manage to graduate on time
Grades are a meme.

Don't be stupid and kill yourself over a post

its not over a post its thinking that im not going to be able to do it and feeling inferior to a bunch of morons...

>doing AP
>not IB

Found your first mistake.

Your second is that you're stressing too hard on what it means to be a highschooler. It's a good mentality on some level to care a lot about grades, because it can motivate, but honestly it's not a lie to say Highschool doesn't really matter in the long run. If you get your diploma, go to a community college for 2 years, get good grades there (not a hard feat), then transfer to a state Uni for your last 2 of undergrad, if you got good grades there, you could literally go anywhere you want- provided you also took a few measures like involving yourself in research and the like when you move up to the large Uni.

>surgeon, physicist, pathologist

Surgeon is incredibly competitive, currently the jobs aren't very plenty, but there's not much competition for physics (go to a large Uni with some of the toughest competition in the nation, but physics is an open major still), pathologist is middle of the road, but from what I've seen, biology programs and pathology care way more about passion towards the scientific method than they do about grades.

t. molecular biofag

Bro who cares if you feel inferior. Like you are trying to be a scientist you are going to feel inferior but dont waste your life but instead use your life to give (at least even if it isnt a lot) back to the world

Oh, and an addendum to this post. To OP: Stop being an egotistical prick. Everyone has their own idealization of happiness they strive for, and weighing one over another is retarded.

Look into philosophy a bit. Determinists are nihilistic cunts for the most part, but realizing that everyone has reasons for their actions that ultimately come from an external source, and having the doubt of free will really lets you drop all of the anger in your life, and focus on what you need to do as a person, ignoring other people. It's hard to blame people when you realize that, on some level, they were only taught a certain way, or they behave the way they do not out of some natal will that arises from their soul, but because of some set of factors that lead to the same outcome 100 out of 100 times.

This kind of determinism is a necessary outlook for looking at systems holistically as a scientist, and in my opinion is a whole hell of a lot better than just getting pissed at people to fuel a superiority complex.

Highschool is a joke, get a 3.5 or higher and go to a good state school. I did shit in high school (only took Pre calculus, got a 3.2 GPA) and still managed to pull off going to a good school. If you get denied to the college you want to go to like I did, go to another college then transfer sophomore year.

I'm now taking the same courses those kids who took calc in high school are taking now (Calc 3 and element lin alg), and I'm doing the same, if not better than them.

Point is, you can get to where you want to go if you try hard enough, just keep at it.

t. high school brainlet now studying at a top 30 college

>biology programs and pathology care way more about passion towards the scientific method than they do about grades.

This makes me very happy to hear. Thank you very much for this response.

I will.

i'll try i've been much more egotistical and even a bit narcissistic for the last 6 months. I don't know what it is maybe the medicine

oh wow that makes me happy to hear, I will definitely keep at it and i'm trying hard. thanks

your grades are really good honestly but I like your fighting spirit
keep it up, aim as high as possible

Yeah bro mental medicines are litterally so unpredictable and mostly ineffective

thank you this means a lot to me :)

dude your grades aren't bad at all. Any kid with a B average or higher can easily go to a decent college and study to become a scientist. Maybe you won't be getting into MIT or CalTech but you can still go a decent school and if you do your best and excel there who knows what could happen. By the way the important thing is always how much you are learning, never grades. You might not believe that while you are in "the system" but trust me, it's true.

Keep looking up!

You CAN do more than you think you can at this moment. Dont sell yourself short

Thank you really so much :_) I am in a much better mind state than I was when i made this thread. you have warm souls

Just kill yourself already, buddy :)

im not doing that fuck off cunt

You're a drama queen. Do you even know why you want to be a surgeon or a scientist?