Fuck the French

Goddamnit, I've been traveling France for a week now and I want to blow my fucking brains out. This ain't my first rodeo, either: I've probably spent at least a year traveling the country, eating at all sorts of goddamned places (yes, this includes starred, traditional, immigrant, etc.) and it's always the same shit
>Primary flavors always oil or butter, sometimes throwing in some wine if they feel cheeky: zero subtlety in seasoning
>Don't serve a single side of fucking vegetables in entire cities without drowning that shit in fat, even if you're desperate enough to go to vegan restaurants.
>Foreign restaurants don't serve vegetable dishes because they realize they wouldn't sell to frenchies
>Never invented any savory dish (well, save chips) worth a damn that wasn't just "LOL ROUX AND STOCK LMAO"
>Anything decent they make has a nearly-identical version elsewhere do to the uncreativity of their dishes
Is it's reputation the product of a bygone era when the very notion of sauces was "fancy"? I thank them for the wealth of techniques they innovated, but goddamn, fuck their food.

Other urls found in this thread:

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eater.com/maps/best-restaurants-paris-38
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Yea french food is 80% meme

Surely this won't end up as a /pol/ or /int/ thread

Last time I was in France in one week I ate "traditional" French food, trendy modern French food, dirt brown people food from all over the world of both excellent and mediocre quality, and American fast food garbage.

It sounds to me like you're not so much "traveling France" as "imagining what France must be like" based on some Veeky Forums memes and old movies from the 1960s.

Have fun with your imagination.

Nigga I'm posting this from a hotel room in Nice.
And yeah, sandpeople food can be good, but that shit aint french. But fuck is it good.
And why the fuck would you even mention an American chain that's fucking everywhere?

Also if it's really so good, what specifically did you like? I'm dying here, and not everywhere's as versatile as Paris, options-wise (not that france is that versatile to begin with).

French here.
It's probably more the product of a bygone era when North Americans were eating like shit.
I remember my uncle who worked in Canada went crazy when he came back home and we went to the market together, he wanted to buy all the ingredients in there.

But nowadays with the whole "fooding" craze that started in the 00s, Americans are used to eating all sorts of good things so sure going to France isn't gonna wow you.

Still, a lot of chefs around the world are French, at least the professionals still export themselves well.

Changed your story pretty quick there, lel

Fucking how? I just didn't mention that some middle eastern food was pretty gud because it would needlessly undermine the post. And I literally sent a pic. Do you need a timestamp or some shit? Pictures of train tickets?

>I want to blow my fucking brains out

We all know you do Ahmed, now turn yourself over to the police.

>he cant even afford staying in Negresco
Lmao
Anyways go to old town if you want good food. Places in seaside are overpriced and shitty

>And yeah, sandpeople food can be good, but that shit aint french. But fuck is it good.
I hope you're not talking about tacos and kebab.

>I've probably spent at least a year traveling the country, eating at all sorts of goddamned places (yes, this includes starred, traditional, immigrant, etc.) and it's always the same shit
>foreign restaurants are the same bland shit
>oh except when it's good but that doesn't count

What's next? Oh also the French places that are good are good, but those don't count because they don't conform to my conceptions of what "French food" was supposed to be?

You're fishing for a meme, so ok I'll satisfy you:

French food is obsolete garbage, nothing but butter, garlic, snails, bland oversalted white sauces that have to be slavishly reproduced from 1874 or you'll be arrested by le Ministère de la Culture and forcibly converted to Islam.

All of it tastes exactly the same, they only eat cheese while stinking because they don't bathe, French hate us for our freedoms, and also the Judgment of Paris. They refuse to innovate in any way because Escoffier told them what to do and they need recipes for everything unlike me because I watched every episode of Good Eats and I know what a maillard is so I can improvise unlike the French who don't even have Alton Brown.

One time I even tried to speak French and this rude French fuck responded to me in English, I could tell he hated my guts from the way he talked. Also there are mudslimes everywhere because they have no borders and they have to wait 150 years for a doctor appointment. They never won a war and also we could totally kick their ass.

I probably left out a few things but hopefully that's a start.

He doesn't even know that chips were invented in England.

Because everything other than Indian, Turkish (which is VERY hit or miss) and Italian is shit? All other attempts at foreign food fucking suck. And the fact that the one you're clinging to is that I backtracked on foreign foods when that has shit to do with the point of the thread says a lot.
If french food is so good, give examples instead of getting so mad you textwall. Jesus Christ, Pierre.
I'm not, but kebab can be okay, depending where you are.
While you're here, had some of that weird chickpea shit down there today, and it pretty much seemed like eating crunchy oil. How did it get to be such a meme? The line for it was around the corner.

>>Never invented any savory dish (well, save chips) worth a damn that wasn't just "LOL ROUX AND STOCK LMAO"
Who care who invented what? This part of your rant is weird.
I can get someone complaining their expectations didn't match their first week's experiences during babby's first solo travel on their own to the entire country of "France" even if it's prefaced with some explanation they have dined, in the past, at every restaurant type that exists there.

>>Anything decent they make has a nearly-identical version elsewhere do to the uncreativity of their dishes
French food can be a little boring if you only consider the named dishes of french culinary history, Escoffier's compendium of dishes, as the entire repertoire in a "French" restaurant. They aren't. I think you dine on a budget and have little research in where you eat. You tend to forget that when an economy is shit, something well known in France, which has a renaissance for moderate-inexpensive food dining, you will probably be tempted to dine places working on their overall budget and desire to meet their expenses and not their reputation.

>bygone era
The era of amazing french food existed at a time when there were other cuisines doing sauces and stuffing food by 15 different ways. It was never ever utterly unique, just elevated by the media. Regional food is about skill as well as food that is local or easily traded. France has enough growing regions and trade to have always had great food. The skill was icing. Now, ireland, uhh, iceland,...yea, they were restricted to their growing choices in produce and livestock. It's restricted.

>If french food is so good
There is no if. It's good, you know it's good, everyone knows it's good.

Obviously, it is not the end all be all of world cuisine, but that's the meme, isn't it? French food is a conspiracy to make me feel dumb?

Actually pretty quality reply
>Who care who invented what?
People seem to use this as a common talking point in dissing uk/us/etc, so I thought it was only fair to bring it up.
>they have dined, in the past, at every restaurant type that exists there
French restaurants don't have much thematic versatility i most places. I really meat that I've eaten most sorts of the stuff that comprises 98% of the (mid-range) cuisine (excluding some regional stuff, of course), not LITERALLY everything.
>I think you dine on a budget and have little research in where you eat.
This is very true, but I'm not here for pleasure, really, so I just try to be diverse about the mediocre stuff I eat and think it's sub-par compared to several other countries' foods in the same price range. Where could I research stuff like this, even?
>when an economy is shit, something well known in France, which has a renaissance for moderate-inexpensive food dining, you will probably be tempted to dine places working on their overall budget and desire to meet their expenses and not their reputation
I actually never considered this, point taken.

What are you talking about? I just think its simple and overrated.
Wait, is falseflagging on Veeky Forums actually a thing?

Meant to reply to

>Where could I research stuff like this, even?
Eater, Thrillist, famous expat french culinary bloggers like davidlebovitz.com/ or I don't know even Tripadvisor. I pick up a lot of dining meccas from reading inflight magazines, little blurbs in bon apetit, new york times, etc.
If I have a dead phone, and I can't ask a concierge, taxi driver, airline employee, or someone I know who dines often in the city/neighborhood I find myself in? I often do really well at the hotel restaurants, the kinds of places where there is a need to pay a great chef an annual salary, no matter the daily foot traffic, because they bring in clients to the hotel, cater events at the great space, etc.

Just did a quick search on eater, and among several "best" draws would be something I'd seek out, the famous butcher who prepares meat at lunchtime only.
eater.com/maps/best-restaurants-paris-38

I'd be pretty enthused to work in the best onion soup, best crepes, best macaron, cheeses and fois gras, anything I could enjoy mustard on, and so forth. I honestly can't imagine anyone going to Paris and bitching about the food. *boggle*

Now, if you're in a car, and going countryside inn to inn, and you're sick of soup and bread starters, because you're not in a soup mood anymore, okay, your choices might need more work to find, but they're out there.

kys

But that's the problem, most of those sources point towards places that still have the perceived issues of universal richness and flavor simplicity, and the average guy generally doesn't know shit about good eats whatever country you're in. How can I filter through shitty suggestions?

OP here, generally not in Paris. Have few problems there, but this thread was supposed to be more about traditional cooking and haute cuisine. Can't rate Jap food over the quality of their McD's after all.

Hey, look out for muslim driving trucks.

>le ultimate shitpost

You gave yourself away, OP.
0/10 for no effort at all.

Hey! Whadda ya know! I also am posting from a Nice Hotel Room!

>op is garbage person

Fuck you amerinigger

Actually shitty as fuck train station IBIS, unfortunately.

Check out "Le Socrate". It's a Lebanese restaurant. Shit was so cash

> zero subtlety in seasoning

stopped reading; go be a mercunt somewhere else

I, also, am posting from a hotel room in Nice.

Anyone happen to be in Nice that would want to try some lovely buttery tradition French cuisine.

Like i said i am in Nice, France.

I happen to be staying at a hotel in Nice, France.

>tripadvisor
lol, no

If you really are in Nice, go eat at "chez Pipo", they have great traditional nissart dishes.

t; nissart

Are you talking about socca ? It was originally eaten by the poor, and it's like our local fast food (along with pan bagnat), quite filling and hot, the taste is pretty much all about the seasoning (pepper).

If you want to eat local food, try pissaladière, farcis, ravioles à la daube (goat dish), tourte aux blettes, tapenade.

Oh and also, if you can go there, try Cauvin in Peille, this restaurant is great and Peille is a great village to visit - it's not very accessible though

Unfortunately I'm skipping town in the morning, but I'll make sure to check this stuff out next time I'm around.Thanks user.

stay butthurt frog boy

>guys GUYS PLEASE MAKE A JOKE ABOUT TERRORISTS!!!!!!
fuck off back to /pol/ retard. nice is responsible for some of the best french dishes ever created. i bet you actually think it's pronounced like the word "nice"

D-don't hate us, Frenchbro. We owe you boyz for our independence.

Go to Brittany, food there is good, Normandy isn't too bad either, fuck France, especially Paris,

I'm not French, and the only butthurt here is coming from people who think France is a conspiracy to make them feel dumb

quality post

op you are an idiot if you really believe what you write, you are in the country where eating a plain croissant with a coffee is more exciting than 50% of the us fine dining restaurants, where you find better cheeses in the supermarkets than in american delicacy stores.
stop being a bitch and have a good look in the mirror, if your travel sucks it is usually you who sucks at traveling

Paris smells terrible, the entire city. I don't know how people deal with it.

Sounds like you've never been to a big important city before. They tend to have smells. And people from other countries, and other scary things.

t. Pierre Ahmed

The Parisians all chainsmoke, dunno how visitors stand the smell though, all I could smell was piss when I stepped out of my car when I went there last

Paris is known for smelling like stale piss, most other cities, even Beijing, smell better than Paris

I thought it was among the cleaner-smelling cities I've been to, but then again I live in NYC which smells like a dumpster from April through November.

Trust me, it smells fucking repulsive, I've never been to NYC but it must smell fucking abysmal if Paris smells clean to you

French cities are even more nigger infested than even American ones.
Really makes you think.

I also don't find that to be the case. I found Paris to be surprisingly white after reading all the memes about how it's basically Africa. Racial composition resembled the Upper East Side, sure there were a few minorities here and there, but as a whole the people walking on the streets were white.

I have to assume people are not talking about Paris itself but rather the suburbs of Paris.

The suburbs of Paris are still a part of Paris

Try Marseille.
It's worse than Chicago and Detroit combined.

>I can't relate to or talk to people who don't look exactly me

Nah. I've told plenty of niggers to fuck off.

...

So, you've been in France for a week AND for a year?
And somehow only found soul food drowning in fat?

>that weird chickpea shit
Panisse? I only recently discovered that (when going back in the south), it wasn't popular 10 years ago when moved to Paris. It's novelty shit.

>Paris smells terrible,
Yes
>the entire city.
No, only places where people piss. Avoid parts with many bars after Friday/Saturday and before street cleaners passed (Paris lacks public toilets), Seine banks, metro.
>I don't know how people deal with it.
There is a joke to make here about haughty Parisians having their nose up with disdain.

Did you visit during a garbage-man strike?

stop projecting. try it and you'll see they're all fucking talk

No, it was around easter, the whole city just smelled like piss, champs elysee, piss, champs de mars, piss, effiel tower, piss, Paris is piss, the only place that didn't smell so badly of piss is the one fucking place you're supposed to piss; the toilet

>try it and you'll see they're all fucking talk
try what? maybe the reason I'm not getting called names by random black strangers is that I don't get the "scared deer" look when I see a minority, like certain people

but I used to hang out with someone like you, and this tendency of his was always causing trouble

You're wrong.

t. lived in Nice for 25 years, now in Normandy.