Do you ever get discouraged to the point that you doubt whether you're smart enough for STEM?

No more doubt since I failed out.

:(

Well considering I might be getting fired from my job tomorrow, yes.

Guys remember not to be such a fucking autist, it will come back to bite you in the ass.

>Me daily

Yes but with good reason. I went the first 25 years of my life barely able to multiply and divide. I'm also a high school drop out with a GED which, I assure you, does not actually constitute its purported "high school equivalency." One day, I decided I was utterly fed up with ignorance ans started studying. Been at that for a few years now and am slowly making my way through college, going for a degree in electrical engineering. I've aced every math class so far but I know how much farther I still have to go and I do sometimes wonder if will power alone can really carry me to success in life.

so. much. this.

t. codemonkey

No. Actually I fear that if I were to apply myself, the world would be thrown into anarchy.

The things I have seen user. They would make your skin crawl. They would break lesser men. These weights. These shackles lugged around.

Let me let you in on a lesser known secret of big hitters in Math and Science. Some men are born in math. Cool with it. They may even find actual joy in it. Shallow be their purpose on earth but on the heavens exalted. Math for the sake of math.

Others, others user...math is but a means to an end. They surround themselves with numbers and begin the long journey and crawl towards what they want. Blind and alone. A Hades for the soul to mire through in an attempt at some semblance of happiness in a pained existence.

You know why? They do it to trap themselves user.

To ring the spirit of torment within them and trap it in elaborate sigils. Hours by countless hours.
More math. More understanding. Absorption. Facts. Knowledge.

The reason? To stop the real monsters inside from escaping. The ones that can unleash Pandora's box upon the world...and so...they count. They count and they count. All to avoid the all too real situation, the crippling reality at hand. That nagging emptiness inside every soul that echoes in the cosmos. On par with the howling of a voice with no mouth to scream it.

Everyday trying to hold in a beast best left chained and starved till the end of days. This is because they know user.

They know if they were to let go.

This blue sphere would be nothing but a desolate wasteland or a greener kind of hell. In short.

Every day is a battle for their principals and their virtues.
Math can be very dark.

I hope you have only light in your studies.

Reading this brought a smile to my face. Thank you user.

One more thing: reading your post, in addition to making me smile, reminds me of one of my all-time favorite quotes, from Charlie Chaplin:

"Life can be wonderful if you're not afraid of it. All it takes is courage, imagination... and a little dough."

I take long as fuck to do my homework. I have to plan it out weeks in advance to make sure I don't run out of time before its due because I take a massive amount of time to do very basic problems. I spent four straight hours on a lagrangian multiplier problem the other day. I regularly feel dumb as fuck doing this degree.

Yeah man I agree, do you watch Rick and Morty? I also feel the same like Rick xD like if I wanted I could like fight with Obama just like him LOL best episode am i rite. But it is so bad to be so smart because you know that people just won't comprehend me like they don't comprehend Rick. It feels so sad. I know that if I wanted I could create my portal gun and just go do shit but then I don't know if I could stop myself from destroying the universe because I know nothing matters because like I'm so smart like Rick not like Morty. Well I'm kinda like Morty because I'm like cool and shit XD but more like Rick. You could say I'm a mix of both Rick and Morty I guess haha

wubalubadubdub XD

We're all gonna make it brah

I'm 26 and I'm in my first year doing math. My only limiting factor are my regular depressive episodes and panic attacks. I have little energy to invest much into studying, but doing the homework and reasoning out why what I do works helps me learn well enough. I had a lab assignment where I had to solve trig identities and the last time I did that was 3 years ago during self study. I bombed that assignment but when it was posted online afterwards I worked through it and remembered how to do it.

I just want a cushy numbers based job desu like actuary work. Maybe if my emotional state was better I could be really successful and potent, Maybe God makes me like this because I'd be too overpowered if I wasn't depressed and anxious. Heh heh..... yeah that's it.

I'm worried that I won't be able to keep up with workload due to my low amount of energy. I've hired a tutor so they can fill in the blanks while I work through problems so I don't have to waste hours digging up my super specific problem and finding out how to proceed.

You're satisfied with mediocrity? It's not about becoming a professor, getting a PhD or having a good life financially. It's about dedicating your whole body and soul to science, to make discoveries that no one even thought about, to make progress, to influence young people and to always, ALWAYS, seek the truth even if it gets in the way of your personal life, your hobbies or your career. If you're satisfied just with maintaining a position and getting loads of money, then you haven't succeed like you think you have, you just accepted mediocrity and doesn't want to leave that comfort zone.

>t. undergrad

5 days a week and I'm still trucking for some reason

I don't doubt my brains, I know I'm not a brainlet when it comes to physical sciences or programming, I got good grades and my peers tell me I'm smart but I doubt myself every single day anyway, I doubt my motivation or my choice of major, I have too much other doubt and mental stress and I can't get rid of it.

Anything that anyone has ever loved has aspects to it that cause stress and frustration. Typically, these are offset by the things that the person finds rewarding and satisfying. However, if this person is generally stressed and anxious factoring out activity, then any sort of pursuit can potentially push you over the edge and cause extreme anxiety.

You have to settle the issues that cause you to be so wound up on a daily basis. Then you can be one of those faggots with a "Passion in X" and be successful.

I can never find the motivation to do anything in my life. I'm in my third year if college with no major declared because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm 20 years old and feel like my life will never go anywhere. I'm taking Calc 1 for the second time and I'm just some fucking retard who needs to pick a bulls hit major and then kill myself

Let me be real with you doc, can meds do anything for me? This has been going on for years

Try Data science, it's where the money's at

I can't answer that for you. You should read up on other people's experiences and go see your general practioner.

Yep, all the time.
And on top of that I have a hectic personal life. And sometimes the other students in the department get catty and talk shit. I just keep trudging, I'm done with my MS in December.

Someone actually wrote this.

Doubt? No. I'm absolutely certain.

But the ceiling hasn't collapsed on top of me yet, so I'll keep pretending I know what I'm doing.

Someone actually wrote this.