Can we discuss retarded food related inventions?

Can we discuss retarded food related inventions?

Has anyone heard of juicero?

youtu.be/-i0UugILBJg

literally $499 to open up premade packaged juice in the most complicated way ever when you could just jab a straw into the pack or squeeze it with your hands.

Who the fuck at Google thought it would be worthwhile to invest $120mil into this?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/_Cp-BGQfpHQ
youtu.be/stTzLmoStsU
youtube.com/watch?v=reMq-oPJ1_M
kuvee.com/collections/getkuvee
youtube.com/watch?v=jtDKMHkiLvo
youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s&t
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

Old news, it used to be $800 but they lowered the price.

Pod coffee makers offer a minimal convenience improvement at 500% greater price per cup than drip coffee makers.

Still stupid. I've boycotted google ever since that.

What? That would have been a smart investment by Google if the public didn't catch wind of this.

This was never meant for regular households. This was designed, field tested, and marketed to silicone valley elites. This was for executive offices in Apple and Google campuses. This was for angel investors in their many penthouse apartments. This was for tech lawyers and bankers to front-face with their clients.

This was just something that didn't need to be made widely publicized. Now it's a joke. It's beyond "not good enough for the price" now, it's just bad to have by default because of the image.

there were already plenty of threads about this shit when it was relevant.

>This was never meant for regular households.

it was explicitly marketed for regular households.

the notion that its lack of mainstream appeal interfered somehow with its specialist target market is retarded.

smiger smager juicer wooser

Hahahahahahah

Is it April again?

The premise of the product is dumb, and only rich liberals could think it's a good idea. It squeezes a bunch of fruits and veggies together to make a 5 to 8 dollar GLASS of juice. It has a shelf life of just over a week, and if you're even one day over, the machine refuses to operate. Do you know what would be cheaper? A blender with store-bought fruits and vegetables for smoothies (or straight up juice with a good enough blender). At the very least, you're given some customization options there, and can use the blender for more than just smoothies/juice. Hell, some blenders can even make hot chocolate too.

A simple look at the market for kitchen appliances suggests that there isn't really a place for a Juicero. I remain unconvinced that this isn't all just a giant money laundering scheme.

This nigga doesn't buy the reusable cups and just put coffee grounds in them.

what's the difference between this and a drip coffee maker?

It's probably better made than a drip coffee maker
youtu.be/_Cp-BGQfpHQ

Did they lower the subscriptions?
Says 8 dollar per bag

That will show them!

I don't know. The Nigger in the video is Canadian, I don't know if that makes a difference

It's a juicer where the fruit and veggies come packaged in a bag. So it's not just a bag of juice, it presses the ingredients fresh. Not really such a bad idea, you could get different blends of fresh juice conveniently. Kinda like a Keurig for juice. Too bad they loaded it up with bullshit and made it for rich people. There's no reason for it to connect to the internet, since you're gonna be right next to the button when you have to put the bag in.

The internet is for checking authentic bags via QR code.
They wanted to avoid the nespresso 3rd party supplier.

>drm for your drink

You can literally just squeeze the bag with your hands to get the juice out. Nobody needs DRM for a glass of fucking juice.

>A blender with store-bought fruits and vegetables for smoothies (or straight up juice with a good enough blender).

But the help doesn't like washing the blender or going shopping for fresh fruits and vegetables everyday.

I think he was talking about Canadian pesos. Regardless, if he is half-right with the production cost of the machine they need to make a huge cut with the subscriptions to make any profit at all.

It's a shit product, sure, but VCs didn't know that when they funded the bloody thing. All they saw was a slide deck with "estimated cost: $80" and "projected market size: REALLY BIG!".

If the media circus hadn't hit it, and if the founders hadn't made wildly stupid engineering decisions, it might have been through three or four hardware revisions by now driven by retarded yuppie purchasing habits.

BUT user

IT COLD PRESSES

AT MILLIONS OF POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH

THE EXACT AMOUNT OF PRESSURE YOU NEED FOR THE MOST AMAZING JUICE

except they won't sell you the bags unless you have bought the machine first.

Maybe it's more of a big experiment without investors actually expecting any profit but rather some data.

Frozen fruits and veggies my guy

But then they aren't fresh.

And how do I connect my iPhone to frozen plants?

> Says 8 dollar per bag
How many liters of juice can you make out of 1 bag?

This is literally insane. You still have to scoop out the pulp and wash the bag, just like with a normal juicer. I love how you HAVE to connect your phone to it. Really Google??

>$400 pod machine tortilla maker
youtu.be/stTzLmoStsU

Didn't they give everyone refunds?

>trusting any man who has that much trouble starting a chainsaw

>How many liters of juice can you make out of 1 bag?
user... you get about half a glass, close to 6oz.

Why not just get a real juicer? You know. A thing that actually does something.

>Why not just get a real juicer?

You need to clean the juicer afterwards instead of just throwing away the bag.
You need to buy fresh fruits and veggies.
A juicer doesn't have that 'cool' factor, it doesn't make you feel smug and superior.

Honestly, I could see a market for that thing in hipster bars, hotels or airport lounges. Howerver, who in their right mind would pays 2000$/year for their juice at home?

It takes like 30 seconds to wash a blender, and if you're a real lazy ass, there are dishwasher safe blenders.

And there are services for delivering crap from the local grocery store to your door. But to be honest, you probably don't need them seeing as you can just pick up your fruits and veggies whenever you need to pick up something else from the grocery store.

Put the phone down and use your hands.

Seems like someone smart could build something similar without DRM and for a reasonable price. It could even have "empty" bags that you put whatever you want in it.

The world could be so much more efficient if everything was made from pods

youtube.com/watch?v=reMq-oPJ1_M

It's a similar thing to what juicero tried to do:
>monthly wine service
>they send you proprietary bottles of wine
>you put the bottles inside another wine bottle? (it's wifi enabled)
>the screen on the "smart bottle" tells you about the wine and lets you order more
>that's it

This is so fucking retarded. It's actually somehow even dumber than the juicero.

I don't really eat tortillas, but I can't imagine this is going to be any better than from a grocery store bakery.

Guess I should've mentioned the pricing of the damn thing.

$200 for the smart bottle and 4 wines.
If you want to get into the monthly service... well:

kuvee.com/collections/getkuvee

The inventive Veeky Forumser can take one of these aparts and just use it for the smasher.
Put an apple in a Ziploc bag, press the button, out comes juice.
It's got some shitty retardo DRM, but in the end it's just a motor and an H bridge.

Probably a tax write for google

*Write off

Actually it was already fully juiced, they just mixed in pulp to make their press look like it's actually doing something.

You can even press the bags with your bare hands, the machine is completely useless

That's not how investments typically work
The IRS is picky about this

>invented by Malachy Moynihan


oyyyyy veyyy

You know you can get 2 cups out of each pod, right?

You're talking about people that make so much money, they aren't going to take like 30 seconds to clean something, not to mention that cleaning is demeaning to them, and in any case, this thing looks slick as fuck when its in your Silicon Valley office. Makes you look good. That's more than worth what it costs.

youtube.com/watch?v=jtDKMHkiLvo
Superior version

youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
It's long but worth every minute.

Google is not a typical company

Except they expect you to wash out and return those juicero bags too, so you're not saving any time there.

We had something like that some years ago here in germany.
Except for the press, WiFi (I don´t get what that is good for?), small erving sieze and stuff being in plastic bags after use.

It was apple juice in a bag that was in a paperbox and had a tap.

obligatory
youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s&t

Are you fucking serious LOL what a bunch of cucks. Why even bother then

>WiFi (I don´t get what that is good for?),

C'mon Hans, who doesn't want their fucking juice maker to connect to their home WiFi? Think outside the damn box!!!

>Hans
How do you know I`m german?

>some years ago here in germany.

I mean sure you could be a T*rkroach but I just assumed....

Sorry, it is 4:24 in the morning here...

Google has so much cash that they literally no longer have anything worthwhile to invest in so they pump money in shit like this.

Maybe they just thought it'd be funny, in which case it paid off. This is Silicon Valley elite comedy. Fund the most inane bullshit and laugh at the outrage online.

How would investing in a private enterprise result in tax write-offs?

yet you use Veeky Forums

So?

>don't buy cheap tortillas from the oco ordieria when you can get a frrresh tortia every 2 minutes

>there are dishwasher safe blenders.

Woah, look at mister money bags over here, with his fancy dishwasher.

>tortia
>not TOOORE TEE YAAAH

I hate that shit so much.

That's why you must scan the barcode and receive authorization from their servers for the machine to work

what the hell is wrong with liberals