Diner Rules

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Just remember one thing: When old farts see youngsters, they see a reflection of their own kids who they hate for having sucked away their youth and resources. Just stare at your phone and maybe you won't get hurt.

b-but i agree with most old farts of stuff... i probably even vote like they do

Ethan Klein and Bill Shatner have coffee and pancakes.

This is a correct response.

Go back to /r9k/
pretend you're talking to people at a bar only there's no alcohol. small talk, join a conversation by relating to one of your own experiences, observe something around you guys

what should i get next time at waffle house?

hash brown + whatever you really wanted to order in the first place... but mainly hash brown.

Act like a baby boomer/annoying cunt by talking to strangers about rubbish nobody cares about such as your past experiences and opinions about mundane shit like your job and favourite sport. Then complain about young'uns looking at their phones too much and how bothering strangers with your boring attempts at conversation is the way to go

I unironically love old farts though. Might be the fact both grandpas went kaput before I was conceived and grandmas went when I was so young that I don't have any memories. Mom worked at a nursing home and that place was super fucking depressing though, can't believe some people just tell their parents "don't worry dad, we'll visit three a week!" and the poor old sod unwillingly hasn't seen his family in a decade.

"s-sso I hear it's gonna be a scorcher today"
"Excuse me?"
"N-nothing, sorryy"

would it be wrong to approach a man in a booth with the scorcher line?

A better way to comment about the weather to oldfarts is to say, "Hot 'nuff for ya?" It brings back fond memories to them of a time when everyone talked like a migrant okie in "The Grapes of Wrath."

this. do this.

they probably get abandoned because they're pieces of shit though

don't understand everyone's knee jerk defense of the elderly as if they didn't have their whole lives to be human

You might as well follow it up with "yo Gramps let me get those digits" because you'd appear to be hitting on him.

>it's cold outside

Don't talk to me.

If I'm eating alone at a restaraunt it's because somewhere in my life I took a wrong fucking turn.

Just stare at the local news or sports game or whatever. I don't wanna talk. I just wanna be out of my house for a few minutes and this is the only excuse I could up with tonight,

I live in a small farming town, it was kinda comfy seeing the same couple tables full of the same group of old guys talking about the same shit every day, always giving the "young guy" of the group a hard time (even though he was in his 40s).

if only

Is this Veeky Forums's version of when /tv/ shares tactics of how to go to the movies alone?

>so far gone that you have to ask Veeky Forums advice on how to talk to other human beings

wew lad

This is a pretty good answer. You gotta be like Chad and just invade people's space, if they seem annoyed after a few sentences then back off

>tactics
wut
Just go.

My theater keeps catching me on the no-singles policy tho

Take your pillow

Most diners have a casual atmosphere and wide variety on their menus from Continental to Tex-Mex. You'll be fine. Speaking a little bit of Spanish wouldn't hurt either, most of a Diners staff are from south of the border, except the cashiers and owners, they're always Greek. Having dinner at diners is always an average, if not pleasant experience.

youtube.com/watch?v=xeAKb9W_zZo

Where the fuck do you live where theres all these different races fucking around? Move up higher north then fucking Florida or Texas.