'I don't care,' he said, rubbing his eyes. 'You're an idiot.'
My creative writing professor said the attributive action 'rubbing his eyes' is incorrect here, because it reads like the character literally said 'rubbing his eyes'...
Now, which one of us is retarded? Me or my professor?
Your prof is retarded
I'm going to have the cunt fired. It's bad enough that I'm being taught by retards. My professor is a poet and clearly has no business with prose.
Your Prof sounds like one of those 14 year old 'grammar nazis ' that don't actually understand the appropriate terms on which types of grammar are used. Your extract reads fine.
Shouldn't there not be a comma? I think the pause the comma brings makes it seem like he says it.
No comma? Fuck, are you high or something? Read more
It's just shitty writing and your prof saw that, but he wanted to be nice so he made up some bullshit criticism to deflect on how bad the sentence actually is. He was doing you a favour, you should be happy.
Oh user you are a nasty creature!!
You can't determine the subjective quality of a piece from barely 12 words of dialogue. If that were the case then stories from Dubliners or The Canterbury Tales would be trash
As a child, language forms you, but as a grown man, you should form language.
If it feels correct, it is correct, as far as prose goes.
comma is wrong and could cause confusion.
just recast the sentence then you dolt
>"I don't care. You're an idiot". He rubbed his eyes as he spoke.
or summat like that
>'I don't care.' He rubbed his eyes. 'You're an idiot.'
>I don't care he rubbed his eyes! You're an indian!
>"He don't rub" I cared his eyes "Say an idiot"
we did it reddit
Turn the dialogue into 2 separate sentences and you're golden. But it reads fine, anyway. I doubt anybody, myself included, would notice any issue, unless specifically pointed to it.
>"i must rub my eyes" he said, saying afterwards how he didn't care that your and idiots.
>'I don't care,' he said, blocking your path. 'You're an idiot.'
"You're an Idiot." He said, crashing through the door. "I don't care," I replied. "You're my last enemy. Unless you count God."
Kek
WELL MEMED
>gives you false criticism
>teaches you something that is wrong
>lies
how would that be helpful at all? this is called being a bad teacher
'I don't care how many men you've slept with,' he said, rubbing his eyes. 'You're cereal.'
I honestly don't know how your prof finds it confusing. It seems perfectly fine to me. Find a work-around just for the class, cause (s)he is the one giving you the grades, but if you plan on publishing it or something, I would leave it as is.
'Heeeeeeres Johnny!'he shouted, rubbing one out on the paper town. 'And I made pancakes!'
Your creative writing professor understands that readers are generally retarded and will tend to take these things more literally than they should.
Maybe you should try "rubbing his eyelids" or something. Only one extra syllable and far less room for misinterpretation.
>'I don't care,' he said while rubbing his eyes, 'you're an idiot.'
You could change it to this but only to appease your teacher's autism. Your original sentence was fine.
>'I don't care,' he said, rubbing his eyes. 'The attributive action "rubbing his eyes" is incorrect here, because it reads like the character literally said "rubbing his eyes",' he said, 'rubbing his eyes.' You're an idiot.
You, for not going to a top 50 university
>giving a flying fuck about grades
Sometimes a child must stop being a child, become a man and take a stand.
No, it doesnt read like that at all, because the quotation marks are used properly.
it's a bad sentence
always just leave it at "said"
put "rubbing his eyes" in a new sentence
>I don't care, he said
>he rubbed his eyes
this
Lmao
Your professor is wrong but 'rubbing his eyes' is superfluous anyway. Remove it.
>Now, which one of us is retarded? Me or my professor?
>Who is retarded?
>The man teaching creative writing?
>Or the man paying for a degree in it?
>Implying that Op knew he was gonna have this professor when he payed for his degree
Otherwise, you have no argument. And the answer is no, he did not know. Go away with your sophistry user
There should be a comma there, dude.
has too many of them, though.
How about and ?
>Implying that Op knew he was gonna have this professor when he payed for his degree
>when he payed for his degree
>his degree in creative writing
>did he know he would have a shitty professor
>when he payed for his creative writing degree
>did he know his creative writing degree would be shitty
>when he literally payed for a degree in creative writing
>Now, which one of us is retarded?
Ok that was the other read, but it's still a problem. Your point: every creative writing degree is shit. Any proof of your claim?
>Any proof of your claim
>every creative writing degree is shit
>any proof
>paying for a creative writing degree
>Now, which
>is
>retarded?
Not an argument, and you didnt provide any proof
(At this point Im answering just to get Thinkingggg)
THIS, thank you!!! Stop saying x said and y expostulated and z inquired! The quote is in quotes, so it's apparent that someone is talking. If it's already obvious who's talking, why encumber your dialogue with "he said"? Hope your prof fails you.
The only way you can misinterpret this sentence is if you don't know what quotation marks are.
>Not using the "W ejaculated" form at every opportunity
Like anyone's gonna wanna read your novel.
"I don't care" I said, rubbing my eyes. "Post more asian qts."
I exhaled quicker than usual after reading this.
"I care not," he chortled, rubbing the blade of his katana. "You're a baka."
Your prof doesn't understand quotation marks? Perhaps if you used proper double quotes and stopped trying to be artsy, she'd notice them?