Rate my lackluster essay out of Joyce's toilet paper. But for serious, how awful is this?

So how am I supposed to improve my cursive? I'm literally writing each and every day so practice is definitely something I don't lack. I know my cursive is shit desu...I even tried to write as tidy as I could here.

Tbh* why tf did it replace it with desu? Kek

because you're new

>All throughout humanity's history
Almost stopped reading there; never start an essay with a hackneyed expression, since it bores the shit out of your readers and marks you out as a clear dilettante.
>To sum it all up,
See previous remark.

I'm not new. But my autocorrect has no way of replacing it since I don't ever write it in romaji. I've literally been lurking around and sometimes making threads for years.

But I need some sort of connectors. What am I supposed to use, some obscure german word?

No, some obscure Latin word. Fuck's sake, this is high school shit.

You don't need to make obvious categorizations in your essay to delineate between "thesis, body, conclusion." Just state your points, a competent reader will understand you are concluding, you actually don't need things like "to begin with" or "to sum it all up."

On a side note, I'm sorry you were raised in an education system that promotes the "five paragraph essay." Literally no skilled essayist writes this way

This is the Cambridge essay structure. I am not native and this is the structure for proficiency, so according to the Cambridge Exam classifications, this is an essay at an academical level, unironically.

Honestly, it is a high-school level shit, but never being learned other words for connectors and the rules telling me that I MUST use connectors to begin my paragraphs confuses me.

why are you pretending that you wrote that girls cruddy homework assignment? do you get sexually aroused when anonymous people make fun of girls on the internet?

>Honestly, it is a high-school level shit, but never being learned other words for connectors and the rules telling me that I MUST use connectors to begin my paragraphs confuses me.
That's unbelievably fucking stupid. This is how an eight hundred and eight year old university operates? I'm glad I fucking dropped out of uni, honestly; if you're a writer there's nothing that can be taught there that wouldn't be better learned through personal ("real-world" or lived) experience.

If you have to use "connectors" in the sense of words that designate what sort paragraph you're writing (which is clear to any thinking reader without them), I would stick with one-word connectors like "initially" and "finally." They are equally useless, but take up less space.

I meant the Cambridge Exam for evaluating foreigner's levels of English. I highly doubt it has anything to do with the Cambridge Uni...however, if it does, I am kinda inclined to agree with you.

My bad, it actually is related to the Cambridge Uni. Oh, and foreigners'*

Well, that's also a pretty fucking stupid way to determine fluency. Zizek would fail that, if not intentionally at least because he doesn't waste page space with things like "connectors."

I feel badly that you've got to follow such nonsensical guidelines. I would probably be dismissed as having "sub-par" proficiency based on metrics like that, and I'm a native speaker

Look, get an anthology of Michel de Montaigne--the guy pioneered the essay form, and you can learn a lot and write some great pieces by just trying to imitate his style.

"Only one enemy remained; two if you counted this essay when I began to write."

Died from critical levels of cringe at the first sentence.

Sine qua non id est per se.

How do you know I am not a girl? How do I know you are not the one sexually aroused?

Thank you, I'll look into it!

Glad! Maybe it'll kill my teachers too, who knows?

Why do you have a girl's handwriting?

Because you're new is the right answer. Some words are automatically replaced by the site. See how new you are?

Meme answer? Whole life been a beta nu male looking up to the superior sex.

Serious one? Dunno, most likely because my style was actually heavily influenced by girls...in my country almost all boys have an absolutely horrible handwriting so there's not much you can copy. Plus, I write very fast and that might end up looking girly and/or untidy.

Well if that is the case, my bad. But I had no way of knowing that given that I don't freaking post that often. Still, everything I said is true.

Alright. It's a little hard to read.

Your argument is unclear and you rely too heavily on cliches. You need to be more concise. Rewrite the whole thing.

Thank you! I've actually already handed it in so there's that. I'll anyway get a 10/A for it...I just wanted to check how one of my shit essays that everybody says are great compares to an actual essay made by an actual native who actually knows his shit.

Wanting to improve, but school keeps on patting me on the back and telling me what a good student I am. I think I should follow the advice of an user in this thread who told me to read a book on how to actually make essays.

All colleges today force those expressions, though. I bet it was his Academic Writing 101 course homework.

I like it man. It could use work (try to keep all the letters on a consistent slant), but it looks nice.

Oh, and if you're going to make the ascenders and descenders so long you should add some more space between the lines.

>i think i should follow the advice of an user

spoken like a true beta nu male looking up to the superior sex

the way you do your joined up writing suggests you did not learn handwriting in school, is this true?

Well, thank you for the advice and for the kind words user. I'll try to improve as time passes.

Finally, someone to get it. You're doing God's work, user. Keep it up!

What do you mean by joined up writing? The way I connect letters or words or paragraphs?

And no, not really...all of the cursive letters were taught to me in zero and first grade, although I can say that the way I write them is remarkably different from what I was taught back then. People change...their handwriting too.

joined up writing is the british phrase for cursive is all. Try a pen with a stub nib maybe to improve the look, curly handwriting looks better somewhat italacised by a broader nib

Oh, I see. I'll try find one, although I've never had experience with one. I don't think it's all the fault of my pen though(definitely), but also my handwriting was uptightly straight and scattered in that photo. My letters were all over the place.

>any better?

if you enjoy the act of writing you'll enjoy fucking around with a fountain pen, line variation will improve the look of your script. I mean your writing is legible and everything, the most important thing is you enjoy the look and feel of your own writing style

You're right about that. I find handwriting kinda relaxing, more so with the Japanese kanji as I can actually let my hand flow easier...you can notice how I love making letters as flowy as possible. My f is an extreme example of this.

私の日本語の手書き(?)はかなり悪い
I eventually stopped doing writing drills and just did reading, listening etc instead. If you buy a jp pen, remember a japanese fine is usually a western extra fine and so on, for obv reasons.

I'm definitely way behind you as long as Japanese goes, I still needed Jsho to read your mere phrase(to my defense, 手書き appears as "skilful penman" so don't know about that).

Still, thank you for your advice on Japanese pens. I've never considered buying one, but know that you mention it, it might be a good investment given how much I'm writing in Japanese.

Write on lined paper.
Try to keep a consistent height between all your short and tall letters, e.g. l's should be same height as b's, a's as tall as r's, y's and g's down to the same depth, etc.
Keep everything on the same slant like said
Work on keeping the spacing between all your letters and words consistent.
Try to make each letter take up roughly the same amount of horizontal space - you're mostly good on this.
And this is subjective, but some of your letters are a bit wonky: I think your t's are too tall, your r's look a bit weird, really like your f's, your k's get sort of jumbled up and lost at the bottom, and your s's are all over the place (at least in the middle of words; they're fine in like "as" or "is").

Hope this helps!

Also I included a sample of my own cursive which isn't that much better. This is a handwriting thread now.

Oh, thank you, kind user! This is definitely helpful! My f's are really a new addition, since I would usually make them with two strokes; lately, from maths, I've started writing them with one continuous stroke and this makes the loop even bigger.

I must admit that my main problems are levelling my letters and orienting them correctly.

I don't think this thread will become a handwriting one, mostly because of my post about the essay. Still, your effort is much appreciated! Thanks once again!

Oh, and this is also entirely subjective, but I absolutely hate that radical of a slant you write in. It makes the m's, n's, u's almost the same, so sequences like umn are really just a long coil. Still, your letters are objectively better individually and the style itself seems much tidier.

your Ss look like Zs