Restaurant Restroom Horror Stories

Post your insane bathroom stories that are worse than what happened to me today.

>be me
>about to go home on the train but abruptly have to pee
>hate using public restrooms but I'd rather a toilet than a seat
>spot a food court nearby and say outloud to friend "this is gonna be gross but oh well"
>spot the restroom sign
>proceed to walk down a maze-like hallway
>multiple kitchens right next to the bathrooms
>open door with men sign
>enter dark room with another door straight ahead
>older man walks out clearly terrified but I think nothing of it
>as soon as I turn the handle
>"PUT A LITTLE MORE GRIP ON IT YEEEEEAAHHH"
>old man in sunglasses is tripping the fuck out
>I rush to the urinal and watch him grind up against the door
>he begins to grunt and mumble things as if he's fucking someone for like 2 min
>I decide fuck it I have to use the stall
>pull down pants and unleash the beast
>phew.jpg
>all of a sudden hear something coming from the stall next to me
>"OOHHH YEAH OH MY GOD YES"
>THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON WATCHING PORN AND PRESUMABLY MASTURBATING IN THE STALL
>punch the piss outta my dick
>wash my hands
>don't even tie my sweatpants
>get the fuck outta there

Not a restaurant, but one time at university I saw an Indian dude aggressively washing his foot in one of the bathroom sinks.

Another time I was in a stall and heard a brief conversation between one of my professors and his PhD student. When they were done talking my professor went into the stall next to me and took the absolute RAUNCHIEST shit I have ever heard, like a gigaton diarrhea blast from hell. I could never look at him the same way again.

We got kicked out of a Dennys. Work crew goes to dennys after late shift, everyone gets drunk and/or high and meet up at dennys after a shift. One dude regaled us with stories of his tranny gf, one bitches about his recent breakup, one gets so drunk that he pukes everywhere all over the women's bathroom, the "foyer", and the bushes outside. Has legit alcohol poisoning. Ends up at tranny bf house, we always suspect that he was sleep raped.

>friends come into the city from Albany a couple winters ago
>first stop: Chinatown
>go for lunch, we all drink insane amounts of tea and have soup because it's like 25 degrees out
>next stop: Ten Ren Tea, we get more tea and drink it while walking around in an attempt to keep warm
>then it's off to the Harney & Sons Tea shop...can you guess we all love tea?
>we're off to Astor Place
>HOSHIT GOTTA PEE WHERE'S A STARBUCKS
>go into Starbucks at Astor Place to use the bathroom
>bathroom has piss in the corners, shit smeared on the wall and toilet seat, and something that looks suspiciously slimy on flush handle
>AND there's a huge dump in the toilet
>flush toilet with my foot, line seat with like half a roll of toilet paper, do my thing, flush toilet again with my foot
>take some paper towels, turn on the sink, scrub my hands, turn off the sink, open the door with a paper towel on the handle because the inside handle is dripping with ???

I'm not even sure how a bathroom gets that level of disgusting. And it wasn't even like it was 3am and there had been drunk club kids using it recently. This was mid-afternoon.

tl;dr A disturbing amount of adults seem to have failed potty training.

I went to an ethnic university, UIC in Chicago, and we had Muslims who would wash themselves in the sink before each prayer.
It was weird at first thought, but he was probably an immigrant. Let him believe whatever he wants, as long as he doesnt put his feet in the soap dispenser.

I once walked into a bathroom to see a man shitting into the urinal, while another man was having possibly the loudest public shit I've ever heard in the stall. The guy shitting in the urinal looked up at me and shrugged, as if to say, "You gotta do what you gotta do man."

It was either a Dunkin' Donuts or a Taco Bell, I don't recall.

In the washroom of a mall food court I saw a guy sitting on the sinks getting a blowjob from an Asian tranny. Another guy high fived him on the way out.

I don't go to public restrooms anymore. Worst thing I can remember was from the highschool's toilets being covered in semen, we couldn't use them for a week.

why the hell did nobody clean the toilets for a week? were the janitors off getting high? was everyone else a lazy fucker?

Yes

>be janitor at some hipster restaurant
>see able looking guy walking into a disabled toilet
>see him walk out after he's done
>he notices that I saw him so he starts fake limping
>somebody respects me enough to think my opinion of them mattered

Not a restaurant, but one time in the 4th grade this korean exchange student was standing in front of the paper towel dispenser spreading his ballsack out and staring at it. He never looked up or acknowledged my presence or anything, just kept staring at his ballsack. I would've just walked out but I really needed to piss.

Are you a grill?

I don't get it. Disabled toilets aren't like disabled parking spots. Normal people are still allowed to use them.

It's a little bit of a dick move though, what if a real disabled person shows up. I used to use the disabled one all the time but now I use a normal one if available

>what if a real disabled person shows up
Then they have to wait - like everyone else when there isn't a free stall. And of course I use a normal stall when available, but if the only one left is a disabled stall, I'll use that and won't be ashamed because of it.

I hope you get maced with febreze by the toilet police, cunt.

Except they need the stall more than you need it. If a normal person needs to pee they can use a urinal but a disabled person might need a stall just to pee. Also their disability might cause complications making it harder to wait

This past my weekend one of my coworkers and the GM busted a black couple trying to fuck in the women's bathroom. The GM didn't call the cops but did force them to pay and leave.

The guy even tried to sneak back in while the girl was getting dressed but the GM stayed by the door with the door wide open. This is a mall restaurant, by the way.

>don't even tie my sweatpants

Not a horror story but I found pic related just sitting on the top of a toilet at an Outback Steakhouse once.