ITT: Your worst experiences with foodborne illness

ITT: Your worst experiences with foodborne illness.

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Ate a quesadilla from Wawa. It was either the sour cream, or Maybe the chicken, also had bacon but doubtful.
Anyway, had a rock of shit plugging my ass for days while my body was trying to evacuate its bowels. Think, a perma chili night hot belly for 3 days straight, while feeling your stomach and bowels expanding.
I shat for an entire hour, and the smell almost made me throw up.

mcdonalds. woke up middle of the night ran to toilet shit my brains out. A few minutes later my stomach was fucked so I threw up straight into my diarrhea. Went on every 30 minutes for 2 days. Shitting and puking into my shit and shitting some more.

>In Dubai for 10 days
>Coulda been the food
>or the jet lag, water, heat or alcohol
>Have the squirts by day 3
>Liquid shits on the hour
>Probably should have gone to the hospital for dehydration
>Come home Memorial Day weekend
>Drink pedialyte at buddy's cookout

did you try flushing periodically?

no, it was dubai

>a few minutes later
Why the fuck did you not flush?

Did you like dubai

I don't even know what I ate that got me

Anyway
>travel overseas
>projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea until I have nothing left to emit except bile and mucous over the course of six hours until the clinics open
>doctor is in the middle of a fucking mall
>relatives drag my leaking ass through the middle of a mall while people look on amused
>doc gives me a shot in the butt
>right as rain in about thirty minutes

It has given me a new outlook on how bad things can get.

Freshman year at uni, decided to put some olive oil on my salad rather than normal dressing.
Had really bad stomach pains, felt like I was going to have the squirts, but nothing happened.

their sour cream is in refrigerated packets i doubt whatever dairy farm they got it from could get away with selling something that could make people sick, it probably came from their filthy disgusting chicken chunks

>got food poisoning
>ate sushi less than hour before the feeling of puking came along
>proceed to puke $80 worth of sushi over an hour
>puke taste like fish
>toilet and whole bathroom reeks of fish
>stomach ache along with inability to even drink a few sips of water for next 24 hours
It was fucking miserable, no idea what caused it since I didn't eat anything out of the ordinary in prior 24 hours, couldn't have been the sushi since it was too close to when symptoms hit and everyone else I ate with felt fine

Leftover turkey casserole when I got home from college for Christmas break.

My parents and I all got awful food poisoning. In a house with one bathroom. So much vomiting and diarrhea. I can't even begin to guess how much weight we lost between the three of us that day.

Thankfully it took longer to hit me than my parents. They'd already been through that worst first wave when I got really ill. And I bounced back a lot faster, too.

Still. That was fucking miserable.

i was in frankfurt germoney it was some sort of "apfelwein" event where there were a bunch of stands selling cider and various sausages in a square near an old cathedral, anyway i had four pints of random ciders and a tiny tray of currywurst and it was briefly amazing but then at about 1am as i got bored and started wandering around the city i began feeling the urge to shit myself and i kept trying to find somewhere i could go but couldn't find anything then as i was crossing this street in front of this park that had a shitty statue of the logo for the euro i let out this really wet shart and it completely ruined my undies and shorts...

i started going back to my hotel as quickly as i could and then facing my ass to the wall whenever i got to a traffic light or anything then when i got to my hotel i went up to my room but my key wouldn't work on my door and i spent about four minutes inserting then removing my key but it didn't do anything so then i ran out to the street then went to this lebanese restaurant a few doors down and just ran by everyone and went to the bathrooms but the mens' room door was locked for some reason so i kicked open the ladies' room and went into a toilet stall and yanked down my shitstained pants and spewed chunky brown soup literally all over the entire stall, the floor, the toilet bowl, the underside and the top of the toilet seat...my pants and undies were so saturated in shit that i left them in the sink in the german lebanese girls' bathroom and i ran out of the restroom area with no pants on acting like i knew where i was going and i got a few weird glares but otherwise just went back to my hotel and asked for a new room key and they were like "yeah your cell phone speaker magnet ruins the data on the magstrip on our keys"

I'm 31 years old and have never had food-borne illness. I've never even experienced diarrhea from Taco Bell like all of the memes claim people do.

>9 years old
>eat KFC popcorn chicken for the first time
>my tiny self eats an entire box
>wake up in the middle of the night very sick
>run for the toilet
>don't make it
>throw up all over the bathroom floor

As a bonus, the first time my friend ate popcorn chicken was in a movie theatre right before we went in to watch District 9. Shortly before the movie ended he motioned for my popcorn bag, and I gave it to him thinking he wanted to share some. Threw up in the bag. I guess you need to build up an immunity.

I bought some fiorucci brand panino snacks that were just pepperoni wrapped around a stick of mozzarella, and while they tasted alright the aftertaste of the mozzarella would NOT leave my mouth. It kept getting stronger and stronger whenever I ate another one until I fucking blasted out vomit the next day after eating one of the fuckers. Now all mozzarella makes me feel sort of ill if it hasn't been cooked in some way.

I never understood those memes. I have also never experienced gastrointestinal issues stemming from Taco Bell food.

The olive oil isn't what got you sick, dumbass. It was either the nasty old vegetables you used or the chicken juice from when your disgusting roommate didn't clean the cutting board.

I drank a liter of milk once because I was too lazy to go out and buy food. It was the only thing I had for the day.
I had diarrhea that night and my body was too fucking weak, my hands started shaking and shit because I didn't eat anything I had to call my brother to get some food for me.
Living in rural third world country is difficult. I wish we had more 7 eleven or something like that. The closest 24 hour convenient store is 45 minutes away.

My dad had really bad seafod poisoning while in Hong Kong and i had a Strawberry milkshake at some Sandwich place that gave me the runs for a few hours.

It was bad olive oil. Fourth pressing after everyone else has had their fun with the olives.

I got campylobacter from some chicken and was shitting every 10 minutes or so for 4 days. It was the worst experience in my life.

A liter of milk is an acceptable meal though, at least for me. That's a strange reaction, I do this often out of laziness and always just feel hungry later that night.

t. semi-rural American

Im asian and we're not that lactose tolerant compared to white people so maybe thats why.

i got sick a few weeks ago eating at the Chipotle in Sterling VA

>Chipotle
Don't eat there, you're asking to get sick.

Family reunion veggie tray. Relatives washed the veggies with well water. Septic drained right into the well. E coli nailed 20 people at least. I lost 10 lbs in less that 24 hours. I shit a little on my bed. Wife still laughs at me about that.

I eat chipotle more than i should.. I'm constantly wondering when it'll be my time..

I used to eat a lotta sushi during my first College semester, ended up going to bed sooner than I thought. Should've watched my raw fish intake!

hah..ha.

Ate some street food in Morocco. Spent 3 days on the shitter in a hostel in Marrakech with water leaking out of my ass about as fast as I could drink it. I understand how people die from diarrhea now.

It was cool to see all the crazy sites. Burj Khalifa, Burj Al-Arab, the palm tree islands, indoor skiing, camel racing, more luxury cars than you can ever imagine and air conditioned bus stops to name a few. But I prefer to poop logs. The way I see it, my body rejected the environment. I"ll never go back.

Was anybody else unable to eat a type of food after a particularly bad food poisoning incident?

When I was 9 or so I got food poisoning that had me shitting and vomiting at the same time, when it first struck I was not ready for it, I needed to vomit so I kneeled in front of the toilet and started vomiting and shat on the floor, I didn't even know it was possible to come out both ends.

ever since then I can't eat strawberries because I had strawberries at lunch, even though I know it was the fish at dinner that did it. Strawberries just make me feel sick immediately.

Is everyone gonna ignore this street shitter?

Indoor skiing. Awesome
But true, the climate would be shit. Guess I won't be getting myself a Dubai sugar daddy then :/

Norwalk. No clue how I got it, I guess some pajeet got his shit-hands on my lettuce or something. Only lasted a day but it was fucking horrible. Shit and puke, shit and puke, non-stop. If I moved an inch or spoke a word -> puke. Even if I had nothing in my stomach. So when I was fully drained of liquid in my stomach I'd still be "puking", and have those gut-wrenching pains of trying to puke with nothing in there.

my grandfather made me bleed out my ass with some strange sauce

Puked after eating a can of peas ad a kid.
Puked another time years later, I blame milkyway bar.

I had bad stomach pains after my first time swallowing semen. Turns out my husband still had some goo on his junk when we made love after that bit of foreplay and it got me pregnant. My kid is about 3 now God bless.

>3rd grade
>Christmas eve
>At a family party
>Aunt has some sugar cane with her
>Like, raw sugar cane
>"user try this!"
>Okay!
>Hmmm, it tastes kinda funny
>Feel progressively worse as the night goes on
>Tell mom and dad I feel sick in the car
>Come home and start vomiting
>But it is not over
>Spend my entire Christmas eve puking my guts out
>Puking so hard it physically hurt to breath
>Crying because it hurt so much because I'd been doing it so violently all night
>By this point it's coming from my nose and can't breathe
>Subsides just as dawn breaks

Worst fucking night of my life. I probably should have gone to the hospital

The indoor skiing was a cool novelty but pretty shitty desu. Smaller than a bunny slope and it was more like hard packed ice than snow. Forget about fine powder. Still, it was funny to see the rich posers decked out in top of the line ski gear.

For half the price, I went sledding and threw a couple of snowballs.

>Lived in southern Italy a good part of my life
>Raw shellfish is really popular
>Eat it all the time
>Friend's restaurant gets a shipment of mussels
>Hear they're a little dangerous to eat raw
>Say "fuck it"
>They were delicious
>Go to the gym after
>On the walk back home start feeling a little nauseated
>Think I just overdid it at the gym
>By the time I get home, feel like I'm about to burst at both ends
>Plop my ass on the toilet and shit diarrhea while vomiting into a trash can
>Literally at the same time, thought it only happened in movies
>After the shit, the nausea never went away
>Kept throwing up every half hour or so
>Gave up and laid face-down on the edge of my bed with a trash can under my face
>Continue throwing up every half hour
>This lasts through the night, no sleep
>Vomit eventually turns to dry heaving
>There's nothing left
>Try drinking water
>Throw it up
>Next thing I know, it's morning
>Still heaving
>This lasts for 2 days total
>Trying to drink water, or down some food only to throw it up immediately and continue dry heaving
>Finally starts subsiding late into the second night
>Still nauseated, but finally fall asleep at 4:00AM with my head still in a trash can
>Wake up with stomach still feeling like shit, but not enough to throw up or dry heave anymore
>Looked at myself in the bathroom mirror
>Look like a fucking pale mess
>My eyes look like they are almost glowing neon green
>Realize I haven't eaten or drank anything in 2 days and detoxed all the melanin from my eyes
>Haven't touched raw shellfish since
>It's been almost 7 years

I had food poisoning a few weeks ago. Spent the night puking and shitting.

It's weird because I ate the exact same thing as my dad that day, and so not sure where I got it from. I read that maybe immune systems can be different.

I suspect it was my dads chili that we had been reheating during the week. He makes it on Sunday and then we eat it for lunch like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Then we take it to work (we work at the same place).

I think maybe by Wednesday I should have thrown it out.

How long should chili keep?

Statistically the most likely (by far) cause of food poisoning comes from the eater him/herself not washing their hands properly.

>>maybe immune systems can be different.
That's not a "maybe". OFC different people have different immune systems.

>>How long should chili keep?
That depends on a ton of different variables, the most important being what temperature your fridge is set to. Below 3 degrees C will keep food much longer than above 3 C. But I've routinely made chili on a weekend and then eaten it throughout a whole week and never had a problem. (Same applied to my roomates who also ate the same chili). Same for stews, soups, and all sorts of other things.

I'm such a germaphobe that hands seems highly unlikely. My dad isn't great with food hygiene though. I routinely see him handle meat, then just hose his hands off in the sink (not wash them), wipe his hands on a dish towel he'll likely reuse, then go about the rest of the cooking opening cabinets and shit.

>I'm such a germaphobe that hands seems highly unlikely

That could explain why you got food poisoning though. If you're a germaphobe who irrationally limits his exposure then that in and out of itself could make your immune system weaker than others.

You might be right. :o(

Fine story bro.

>be me, be 16
>go to local wing place
>be badass
"Lemme get the hottest ones you have"
>Mouth is burning and I've got snot coming out
>Feels good man
>Get home, everything's cool, eventually go to bed
>Wake up with the strongest urge to shit
>Run to bathroom and proceed to blow up the toilet
>Feels bad man
>Drink some water, go back to bed. 10 minutes later gotta shit again
>This happens like 3 or 4 times
>Towards the end of it, my body starts expelling those hot wings
>Asshole is red hot, like hemorrhoids on chili night times 100
>Go to wipe and look because, fuck it how bad can it be?
>Toilet paper is covered in blood
"Dear god what have I done"
>I proceeded to shit spicy hot blood for the next 10 minutes
>Finally hit a point where I should be fine, just gotta get some sleep
>Woke up to shit in my pants

I proceeded to shit pure silt for about a week after that. Since then I've never had the spiciest thing I can get on a menu and I'm always super wary of chicken dishes as that is not the first or last time I've gotten sick off chicken.

>>Drink some water
Speaking of which. What is the official way to treat yourself when you are having a toilet-bombathon?
- drink water?
- eat something like fruit?
- eat something with fiber?
- active coal?

Going to "Paris" in a few weeks, cuisine might be unfamiliar to my stomach. Poopstorm could occurr.

If it's liquid, I always hit the water, just to avoid dehydration. Fruit might be good, just cause it has fiber and water, but I've never tried it. Guess it depends on how my stomach felt.

It depends, if it's bad enough to the point where it's going to start dehydrating you then you should try to take something like Pepto or just remember BRAT - bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. Otherwise you should just try to stay hydrated with something that has electrolytes (probably better to get something for kids like Pedialyte, it has less sugar than Gatorade) and let it happen since diarrhea is your body trying to get rid of something bad.

Drinking a lot of water is standard procedure when you have diarrhea for any reason. You need to replenish lost fluids.

Eat some simple foods that you can keep down. Doctors commonly recommend the "BRAT" diet if you are sick and having trouble with vomiting or shitstorms. Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast.

>>traveling in a few weeks
Talk to your doctor. Tell them you'll be travelling soon and are worried about traveler's diarrhea and get their advice. You can get a prescription for medication that you can use if you do end up getting sick.

These are super helpful, thanks

Idk if I have a weak stomach, or maybe I'm just unlucky/careless about what goes into my body, but I have a lot of these stories.

>go to some goth store that opened up by my house
>oh look they have tea
>ask if they have any chamomile
>goth chick shows me a tea in a black paper bag labeled "digestive aid"
>made with fennel, chamomile, and other mystery herbs
>sounds perfect
>make a big ol mug next time I need to sleep
>suddenly my stomach starts hurting
>familiar waves of pain
>uh oh
>try to sleep through it
>not gonna happen
>rummage through cabinet looking for antacids/pepto/anything
>nothing
>fuck
>drive to CVS, in so much pain
>stomach is in boxing match with the rest of my body
>grab the medicine, start drinking while I rush the fuck out the store
>pain keeps getting worse
>driving back, can't take it anymore
>pull over on the side of the main road at like 4am, puke guts out
>goth bitch must've fucking cursed the tea or some shit
>lay in the fetal position on the asphalt next to my vomit until I can get my strength back to drive home
>vomit-induced headaches the rest of the night

Was not a fun night

I was thinking sour creme because it is easy to miss-handle dairy between the farm and the refrigerator under their counter. But also the chicken chunks are very possible.

One time I had a taco and fucking sneezed.

...

>be onnajob driving some old senile lunatic to his asylum
>its atleast 2 hours away from where we're stationed
>still have time before shift is over, decide to eat some lunch and then call it a day
>NOTHING in the vicinity except for a gas station
>get some fries and some sausage
>feels gud
>drive home from work 3 hours later
>feel a rumbling in my stomach
>fuck it its nothing
>eat dinner, sit down to shitpost
>eat some nougat&salt covered pretzels since they were a gift from the netherlands and i wanted to try them
>they're fucking disgusting
>start feeling worse decide to go to sleep
>wake up at 3am and try to vomit
>doesnt work
>run to the toilet every 10 minutes until i finally let it all out
>sit in the shower and get back to bed
>be sick for the next 5 days, not vomiting but pissing blood instead
>still get sick when i think about those pretzels
Who the fuck combines nougat with salt. I can still smell and taste them right now and i can feel my stomach turning inside out.

We have one of those in germany.
It sucks.
Getting that icy "snow" anywhere on your skin fucking hurts.

Sterling? Happened to me in Richmond a few months ago.

It happened to me in Harrisonburg last week.

>Harrisonburg

JMU? Don't y'all have a Moes around there?

I work in Luray but I head to Harrisonburg on business sometimes. The Moe's is stupidly overpriced. Talking $4 more than Chipotle for a bowl.

Right up front, I want to make something completely clear: I'm not a stupid man. I understand that opening with that statement will probably lead everyone to believe the opposite, but I want to be frank here. I am incurably and abysmally lazy, with exception of being moved by my passions to dive headfirst into my hobbies.

Keeping this in mind, I'll tell you about an event that took place in 2007. I was in the military, stationed overseas in Japan. The on-base restaurants included a Taco Bell, and I enjoyed the generic "chicken burrito". I would routinely get two of them, eating one while saving the other for later. One Wednesday afternoon I did this, and left the second burrito sitting on top of the refrigerator. Yes. It was less than a two foot vertical drop to a place were it could have been preserved for proper consumption, but I simply didn't care to put it there. Fight me about it.

So when I woke up on Saturday morning, I didn't feel like going to the chow hall or going out to buy breakfast. Why should I? There was a burrito right there on top of my fridge.

I knew what I was doing. I knew it would probably be the worst decision I made that month. I did not care. The food was there, it still tasted great, and I didn't even need to open the fucking fridge.

Within one hour's time I felt the churning begin. Within three hours more, my ass was parked on the toilet with a bucket between my legs. Twelve hours later, I was laying on the bathroom floor, the fluids drained from my digestive tract, and the strength drained from my body to the point where I was unable to raise my arm above my head. I have never been so weak in my entire conscious life.

It so happens that my roommate was on duty that weekend, meaning he would not have come in to see this happening to me. I was grateful for that, but the idea passed through my head, "what if I just die here, and no one would even know until a day or so later."

Within 26 hours after ingesting the poison that would ruin my weekend, I was able to stand without wobbling about. I actually felt relatively normal, like I had gone on a really bad bender two nights before and this was the hang over from a hang-over. By Monday morning I was ready to do anything required of me.

Would I do this again? No. I may be lazy but I am not stupid. I simply played the odds and lost this time. Don't pretend that you have never done the same. Am I glad it happened? I think I am, strangely enough. I think everyone who is able to survive it should experience food poisoning at least once in their life. It is a non-mundane experience of life, and I think we all should have as many of those as possible to help balance out the routine that we all so readily get trapped into in our daily lives.

>Jack Scalfani made a video on how to can botulism and took it down, but some user who doesn't close his tabs had the whole video loaded and then recorded and uploaded it.
youtube.com/watch?v=o5f9d3m35VU

Veeky Forums used to be a fun place.

Veeky Forums was a million times better when Joey and Jack threads were around. It actually motivated me to make OC and contribute to this place.

Food poisoning hits pretty quick tho...

Ate some bad shrimp from a restaurant in Galveston.

I was sick for a week straight and if i stood up even for a second i was puking my guts out

>goth bitch must've fucking cursed the tea or some shit

When were you in Marrakech? I was there last year but never got the chance to really try any of the food because of the workload during the stay

>Went on every 30 minutes for 2 days.
how much did you eat?

>be kid, don't remember how old
>dad made spaghetti bolognese
>i fucking LOVE spaghetti bolognese
>wake up in the middle of the night
>barely sit up before puking all over my bed
Probably some bad meat. I still love bolognese.

Tried the puke/shit combo, but I don't remember what I ate. Might not even have been food poisoning

One day about 5 years ago I got the worst pain in my stomach and I needed to shit. I sat on the toilet for 5 hours in intense pain and shitting out rancid smelling brown water. Gallons of it. Every 10 minutes another torrent of water. I almost took flight from the force. I also had rancid sour sulfur burps. The burps tasted so bad I almost vomited. Eggy, sulfuric and rancid.

This has happened to me in intervals of 3-6 months since, but not in the last year. The pain has gone down considerably, but about 5 hours before the diarrhea starts I will get those sulfur burps that signal the next 12 hours I will need to be near a toilet. I track my diet prior to an incident and there nothing specific that seems to cause it. I know that dairy makes it worse. If I eat dairy close to an incident, it is much much worse, but I eat dairy all the time and am fine.

Anyone know what this is?

aids

Sounds like a bacterial or parasitic infection.

You have something living and reproducing in your intestines.

If it hasn't happened in a year, is it gone?

are you me?

Yes.

I went to a boarding high school, and it was a small school of about 250 kids total with only like 30 or 40 in the boarding house. I'm vegetarian (no bully pls) and at one stage I was the only one out of all the boarders. This of course meant that the kitchen staff would have to make one thing just for me for most dinners.

The food was pretty good for the most part, but one night they made me this lentil curry type dish with rice, and it gave me the worst food poisoning. I woke up middle of the night and filled up the bin in my room twice puking violently. Eventually it settled and I went back to sleep for a bit, only to wake up in the morning and puke a bunch more.

For the rest of the day all I was capable of doing was lying down and slowly sipping gatorade, and it took me another day or two to feel completely better.

The funny part is I remember the curry tasting pretty good when I ate it, but afterwards (and even now after years) just smelling anything similar to that dish makes me feel queasy. God it was awful.

Shit out any tapeworms lately?

Vegetables literally grown in shit. Someone didn't wash them enough.

I don't look at my poops. I haven't been extremely hungry and I didn't lose much weight so it isn't that.

I used to work at McDonolds

>Late last year
>Me and a few friends are closing
>We hate this place and the customers are the worst
>I began spitting on burgers
>depending on the customers attitude they got one or more of my sneaky special ingredients
>this is an inside joke
>we almost get caught coughing up snot and spitting it into burgers a few times
>Laughing like hyenas when the regular fat assholes roll up
>Literally grinding my shart into the bun more than once
>cover it with ketchup
>heaping teaspoon size smear of shit on the bun
>I'm grinning like the joker
>Cheeks in pain
>Giving him the burger before he pays makes him stoked as fuck
>He usually is digging into the bag before he leaves

We still roll by and make a fish hook gesture to the homies. I don't even eat there anymore.

I used to eat at Jack in the box often. Three or four times per month. I went there one night and I shit you not there were fifteen people in line inside. I usually eat inside. Went through the drive through and ordered. Ate half of the burger when I got home and woke up with the worst headache..... I went to shower but as soon as I sat up my stomach felt like a big gass bubble. Ran to the bathroom and poofed a huge fart. Ten minutes later in the shower I am dry heaving stomach acid and sharting because I am already in the shower. Pounding head ache for a few hours after.

I don't eat fast food anymore.

Parasites.

Eat an entire papaya(swallow all the seeds) every day for a week. It will kill the worms.

You could start drinking fresh green juices to. The alkaline juice works great.

in mexico eating tacos at some small restaurant down the street of grandparents address. tacos good, certain meat taste weird. Get home, start puking like an M-rated cartoon.

It hasn't happened for a year but I will try this if it comes back. It's weird though because in the last 6 months I have been eating very healthy and natural, but the six months before that I was literally eating frozen processed crap for every meal for poverty reasons. During this year I had no symptoms. So diet doesn't seem to be a factor.

Diet is definitely a factor. Parasites don't enjoy your body when you are eating an alkaline diet.

>Buy a coffee for my dad as payment for a lift into work
>he says it tastes funny and doesn't want it
>wtf gimme this shit
>I never drink coffee but thought I could taste something weird too
>throw it out
>finish day at work
>catch bus home
>get halfway home
>fall to knees and vomit out my chicken curry and can of soda I had
>this happens twice more along the way, vomiting bile the third time
>get home, go to bed and curl into a ball and cry
>have vomits, diarrhea and a blazing fever for 3 days
>wasted my weekend trying to prove my dad wrong

I either had an allergic reaction to the caffeine (has happened once before) or I their milk was off, but either way it was pain and torture and I wouldn't wish it upon anybody.

>i let out this really wet shart and it completely ruined my undies and shorts...
You can take the American out of America, but you can't take America out of the american

>about 5-6 years old
>go on 2 hour ferry ride with family
>vending machines on board
>Ask mother for money to buy something
>get chocolate milk
>tastes like fucking gas
>"mom this chocolate milk taste weird"
>"It's probably nothing son, drink up"
>reluctantly take a few more sips
>start feeling nauseous
>barf on the floor
>They have to fly a medical heli to the boat
>apparently the factory bottling the stuff had a malfunction and leaked machine lubricant
>bottle was nearly 2/3 lubricant

Felt like shit for a week afterwards but it was cool because I got to skip school, thanks mom.

Bacchanal buffet in Vegas. After the mandatory gratuity, it was $73 a person, and I got food poisoned from the sushi.

I had eggs and bacon a few years ago and got food poisoning from it, probably the eggs. For some reason I just wouldn't eat anything greasy for breakfast for a month or two.

Dude....

I worked at Tacobell and my manager used to do some nasty shit to customers. Everybody on my shift was doing it. It was like our rite of passage. The trick is to make a few with spit, snot, shit, or whatever and set them to the side of the others. We were always quiet about it unless someone ate inside then we would watch to see if they noticed.

Only once did someone look inside the food but I think they were just picking something out.

I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard right now. Fast food customers were the worst. I never do shit like that at my new job.

I got a few
>Santa Barbara, CA
>meatball grinder from some "Italian" place
>start shitting my brains out a few hours later
>have to fly back home to East coast tomorrow morning
>5-6 hour flight while needing to constantly shit, stomach cramps ectect
>glued to toilet for the next 4 days
>pretty sure I had ecoli
also
>Santa Barbara CA a year later
>same area as that "Italian" place
>get burger at McDonalds
>eat it, go home, take nap
>wake up dripping in sweat
>get strep throat

Pretty sure I also got food poisoning yesterday after eating some shell fish (East Coast) been shitting liquid all day

I ate out a chubby girl(she blew me afterwards) in the alleyway of a bar. She was drunk and had been dancing. We were positioned so my nose went into her ass for a while until we switched to a more traditional position. It was all very sweaty. She tasted very tangy. I'm sure some butt sweat mixed with watery poo and it dripped down into her crotch. I didn't care because I was drunk.

Anyway, 24 hours later I shit and vomited out the entire water contents of my body twice over and felt weak for two weeks. If I ate anything other than crackers and water I would get more ill. I fucked her twice after that but never went down on her.

BECAUSE SOME OF US HAVE HIGH ENOUGH WATER BILLS. Thank you.

>about 3 weeks ago
>eat greasy food for 4 days straight
>get some buffalo wings or something spicy (can't even remember now)
>stomach feels like shit that night but I take some Tums and try to sleep it off
>next morning before work I feel alright
>suddenly stomach starts piercing right after my shower and I have to sit on the toilet for 15 minutes
>end up having to use the toilet at work 20 times (not even actual shits, just stomach cramps) and it still continues through the next day
I'm giving up on fast food binging man, buffalo wings are still tasty though.

It couldn't have been the vegetables though. I ate the same vegetables every day, and I only felt sick when I put olive oil on the veggies.
After feeling alright for a couple of days, I decided to try olive oil again, and I felt like I was going to have diarrhea again.