How long would it take to learn the knowledge needed to perform self-surgery at home, and not kill or maim yourself...

How long would it take to learn the knowledge needed to perform self-surgery at home, and not kill or maim yourself? This is assuming you just came out of high school, and you can actually perform the surgery at home.

There is a reason it takes six years and residency.
t. retard

I'm wondering wtf they have to learn that takes so long.

Look up the curriculum.
t. retard

because surgical errors are frequent enough even with the requirement of that much schooling

>anesthetize yourself
>perform surgery while intoxicated
>fuck up and maim yourself and maybe die

>don't anesthetize yourself
>perform surgery sober
>black out from the pain and subsequently bleed to death
OR
>nick something important due to the pain and subsequently bleed to death

There is a reason you don't frequently hear reports of successful DIY surgery.

Or even
>anesthetize yourself
>die

first piece of knowledge to learn is to not perform self-surgery at home. nothings perfect, you're gonna fuck up something.

I'm hijacking this thread because I'm tired of every medical post on Veeky Forums being some brainlet asking a brainlet question.

Is there anything cooler than ketoconazole being used to treat metastatic prostate cancer?

Connectome theory, alkaloids, organic synthesis, and crispr cas 9. us med and sci people need our own board

There's nothing cooler than being cool.

We definitely do, though it would probably just devolve into anons asking whether or not it's safe to mutilate themselves horribly pursuing some alternative treatment with some Chinese study published on how it theoretically might work maybe if you pee in your own eye to cure conjunctivitis.

Probably not very long, it's probably pretty simple. Doctors spend much of their time learning other things, only spend a small amount of time on stuff like this. I think so at least, could be wrong. What surgery are you considering?

You are retardedly wrong. No doctor spends any time learning how to perform surgery on themselves, first of all. Second, learning how to perform surgery on others is something that can be taught on a theoretical level only to a certain point. The vast majority of relevant education comes with experience and practice, just like any other hands on discipline.

This is most likely

I think you'll find that you defeated your own argument with that picture.

Being ice cold, is cooler than being cooler.

Idk, how long does it take to learn how to preform surgery in a hospital on a patient.

I think It will take at least that long.

Just body modification/implant stuff. Inb4 you don't need to DIY that.

You faggots are acting like everybody mangles the first patient they have to perform surgery on. Forget your God complex. You ain't shit, bud.

>Is there anything cooler than ketoconazole being used to treat metastatic prostate cancer?
Gee a drug with anti-androgenic properties used to treat something that is aggravated by androgens. Real cool.

Doctors are so full of shit.

However long med school + surgery residence takes in your country since there are no community college courses on self-surgery

Just one surgery? Or are you opening a surgical theater in your basement devoted to a wide array self harm techniques?
If it's just one you probably could learn how to do it easily since it doesn't take all the books to do what boils down to a technical task. The biggest issue would be staying awake and resisting the pain.

Most community colleges actually do teach exactly one surgery - cricothyrotomy. I'm not sure if one could actually perform one on them self (or why one would want to), but that's a different matter.

Please don't try to cut yourself open you massive fucking retard.

2 days tops

Assume I have local anesthetic. It's just one surgery.

How do you prevent a big scar from the incision? Neosporin?

My man. Thank you.

Neosporin? Are you fucking retarded? Where do I even fucking start? You are a kid fresh out of high school asking a science board filled with retards about whether it's safe to perform surgery. When people give you the answer you want (i.e. a short amount of time) you say yes, whereas when people tell you this is retarded you go FUCKIN DOCTORS YOU AINT SHIT LOL

What "implant" could you possibly want to do?

Not OP, but giving yourself an implant seems pretty easy desu. Inject anesthetic, make incision, implant implant, stitch it up.

>surgery at home
suture self

Depends on what batshit crazy idea this kid has. I can't wait for the cellulitis.