Drunk food

3 days ago i had some people over at my place where we were already drunk and hungry so i decided to try and impress a qt grill that first mentioned she would love something to eat.
>put bacon strips on the edges of the wok
>grease collects in the middle
>put away the baked bacon strips in a bowl with paper towels
>dump some sour cream in the grease puddle
>dump chopped onions (i always have some in the fridge ready) and cut large slices of tomatoes into the hellfire
>the wok is in rage and flames erupt from the veggies being burned by bacon grease and cream does its own thing
>everything is under control, this is what needs to happen
>ask the qt for assistance
>just open a beer and give it to me, i need it
>im all cool like that
>im stirring everything while adding curry, pepper, garlic powder and a few splashes of beer
>add tomato juice because the tomato slices disappeared somewhere, they were in the wok, i can see the curled up skin
>the clustefuck smells godlike
>dump it into another bowl
>the wok is still dirty and messy
>dump water in it and place some oven bars to steam up the burger buns
>a friend buys bags upon bags of potato chips
>decide to also make a dipping sauce
>remember something about some negro chicken sauce
>open up another beer
>dump a jar of mayo into the blender
>add mustard
>add ''Horseradish'' whatever the fuck that is
>add ketchup
>add garlic powder, curry, pepper, salt and a splash of vinegar
>also add a teaspoon of honey
>i cant remember what else i added
>looks like baby puke
>tastes excellent
>wear the chef hat all night, trying to flirt with the qt
>everyone stuffs their mouths with all the bacon, chips, buns, veggie clusterfuck, sauce clusterfuck, beer, water with ice cubes because its hot and makes mouth dry

Im still in contact with the girl i wanted to impress, which i kinda did considering how tasty everything was but she puked not 5 hours ago and everyone else either sharted or had tummy aches. I just shat it all out

Not reading any of that

That sounds disgusting

This is why i come to this website, lol.

You are a nobody to approve or disprove any fucking thread.
Faggot
Why did you respond to the thread then?

do american really eat bacon grease?

tl;dr the rest

Not american but i do eat it
Its not that i eat it raw or boiling, its just that i use it to cook something else on it while its hot and liquid.
Bacon grease enriches the food you are cooking on it, even potatoes, especially potatoes
>sounds
It does sound disgusting but it doesnt taste bad at all.
In fact it tastes really good.

next time just have your drunk ass call up local Chinese delivery or pizza delivery. Some people can drunk cook, you are not one.

>upset dumb person is upset

I love the internet

>i
>i
>i

>dump sour cream in the grease puddle

The face I just made on the bus had people asking if I was OK.

why do girls have to ruin every thread with them posting shit that clearly shows how entitled they feel for their unimportant opinions

>reddit spacing
>muh health!
Single mommy did a number on you, limp wrist.

How do you feel for an opinion, Jamal?

>>add ''Horseradish'' whatever the fuck that is

bleached wasabi

its good with pork
Kills the heavy taste of the meat, goes down more easy. Especially boiled pork

>tomato slices
>tomato juice
>vinegar
I hope your wok rusts

He's probably not from europe, so he can afford to buy another one.

tell me more about the puke dip chicken nugger sauce

OP here. I'm an idiot, it was
>1/2 CUP of honey

...

Chad made a hummus and argula dip.

then he gave that bitch some coffee sticks.
bitchs love coffee sticks.

CMON STACY LEMME SMASH, MY FOOD IS SLOP LEMME SMASH.

>>reddit spacing
>>muh health!
>Single mommy did a number on you, limp wrist.

Not him, but a single space break is now called reddit spacing? Things sure have changed since my time in school....

It's just high school graduate summerfags terrified of their upcoming college remedial English class where they'll be forced to learn to create paragraph breaks.

not only that, but its a girl as well
disgusting

Id suck your dick at least and hold hands with you if you did all that to impress me.

nice meme, mr memer

Im going to try that vegetable clusterfuck and add beer as you did, but i dont need tomato sauce

Not just doing the bacon in the microwave and using the wok to make a nice tomato sauce.

Fry onions and garlic with some olive oil. Add chunky tomato pasata, put in some oregano thyme and shit. You can even use pre mixed Italian dry herbs. Salt and a bit sugar you can add some balsamic vinegar or soy sauce not to much just a small amount. Let it cook for a few minutes to thicken it up a bit.

Meanwhile you make some al dente spaghetti, swirl them around in the sauce, put on plate and add crumbled bacon on top.

Probably tastier than all the shit you did and a light dish for your drunk ass stomach.

That sounds very boring and feminine.
I like the recipe OP made, without the tomato sauce that is.
Sure, my shit is going to smell like a rotting corpse and burning chemicals but at least i enjoyed the food.

>Huh, this OP posted a drunk story about trying to make food for a girl, I can trust that if he took the time to post it it'll have at least a slightly entertaining outcome.
>"yea dood I was at this party and this piece of ass said she was hungry so i threw a bunch of shit into a wok and told this piece of ass to hand me a beer and someone bought LOADS of chips dood so what I did was I-"
What a load of fucking drivel, only a complete newfag would have this little regard for the entertainment value of his post.
I'm bumping this thread so there's a better chance of OP coming back here to see me telling him to never start another thread with some boring ass blog post, people are gonna read that shit thinking there's something worthwhile coming like I did.

>wear chef hat all night.

I want to hear more about the dook and puke

>>dump some sour cream in the grease puddle

Tried to stop reading there but this dumpster fire of a post unfortunately held my attention

I used to work in a bar/restaurant that served burgers and philly cheesesteaks amongst other things.

>Morning prep
>Several lbs of bacon for cheeseburgers
>onions, peppers and mushrooms for cheesesteaks
>flat grill
>cook bacon first
>don't clean grill
>cook veggies in bacon grease
>everyone comments my veggies are the best
>What's your secret user?

i like you
Have you ever had sex with a man?