"Hey, user! I've started reading this book a week ago and I really, really like it! Have you heard of it before?"

get the fuck away from me you filthy pleb

313 page, young adult fiction, taking a week to read. Huh?

Came here to post this

*blushes*

"Well, user, I've just had a really busy week, haha! You know what that's like, right?"

Yeah the ending made me cry. Let me buy you a beer and we can talk about it.

"Oh, you're busy? Shame, I would've invited you to have some coffee."

the only non autistic response

Then Augustus Waters reached into a pocket and pulled out, of all things, a pack of cigarettes. He flipped it open and put a cigarette between his lips.
"Are you serious?" I asked. "You think that's cool? Oh, my God, you just ruined the whole thing."
"Which whole thing?" he asked, turning to me. The cigarette dangled unlit from the unsmiling corner of his mouth.
"The whole thing where a boy who is not unattractive or unintelligent or seemingly in any way unacceptable stares at me and points out incorrect uses of literality and compares me to actresses and asks me to watch a movie at his house. But of course there is always a hamartia and yours is that oh, my God, even though you HAD FREAKING CANCER you give money to a company in exchange for the chance to acquire YET MORE CANCER. Oh, my God. Let me just assure you that not being able to breathe? SUCKS. Totally disappointing. Totally."
"A hamartia?" he asked, the cigarette still in his mouth. It tightened his jaw. He had a hell of a jawline, unfortunately.
"A fatal flaw," I explained, turning away from him. I stepped toward the curb, leaving Augustus Waters behind me, and then I heard a car start down the street. It was Mom. She'd been waiting for me to, like, make friends or whatever.
I felt this weird mix of disappointment and anger welling up inside of me. I don't even know what the feeling was, really, just that there was a lot of it, and I wanted to smack Augustus Waters and also replace my lungs with lungs that didn't suck at being lungs. I was standing with my Chuck Taylors on the very edge of the curb, the oxygen tank ball-and-chaining in the cart by my side, and right as my mom pulled up, I felt a hand grab mine.
I yanked my hand free but turned back to him.
"They don't kill you unless you light them," he said as Mom arrived at the curb. "And I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."
"It's a metaphor," I said, dubious. Mom was just idling.
"It's a metaphor," he said.
"You choose your behaviors based on their metaphorical resonances . . ." I said.
"Oh, yes." He smiled. The big, goofy, real smile. "I'm a big believer in metaphor, Hazel Grace."
I turned to the car. Tapped the window. It rolled down. "I'm going to a movie with Augustus Waters," I said. "Please record the next several episodes of the ANTM marathon for me."

I refuse to believe this is real

>you don't choose your behaviors based on their metaphorical resonances

Yeah me too lmao

I kiss her gently on the lips.

....book?

Scream "ZOOOOOOOOZZLEEE!!"

>A beer
Wewww, you cum too fast.
You meant coffee. COFFEE.

heh.. the fault in your stars? more like the fault in your book choice, kid
*unsheathes katana*
*teleports behind you*

better than I would have thought tBh

Kek

Who is that female?

>tfw you get the urge to go on a tirade about Green and all those other undeserving hack authors but you remember what papa DFW taught you and resist it

Smooth af haha

Lydia Graham

I think women are more suited to other artforms like music or painting than they are to literature.

has anyone here actually read that entire book besides the cherrypicked snippets that always get posted here?

"Idiot, stupid stupid idiot, dumb fucking idiot."

I read bits and pieces just to see what all the memes were about and it's exactly the way those snippets make it seem except with some drama on top of the lequirkinessxd.

i hope you took a vow of abstinence because that's the fastest fucking way to dry out a pussy I've ever seen.

boipuc doesn't dry up

I read the entire thing. It's pretty bad, as you'd expect

Of course, I have 23 copies of it in hardback

Cringe

Are you new here? Trying to fit in?

This is why we should rape women before they have a chance to talk and disappoint us.

To just bottle it up and kill yourself?

>Cringe

I think you are the new one

This happened to me once.
After showing me John Green's book she asked what am I reading.
I showed her one of DFW's essay collections.
She stopped talking to me about books.

I read it in 4 or 5 hours before going to see the movie with friends when it came out.

wtf

And you should get out of here because you sounds like a womyn. Amazing how your race always tries to control men with pussy and groupshame even on the internet.

Sense of inadequacy, was it?

or she realized you were a book dork

Inadequacy I think.
She is a fucking egoist who can't accept if anybody is better than her.
"If the community was a solar system,in her opinion,she would be the sun" to put it in a Green way.

At least it's not Pynchon. I'd ask her for espresso.

>I'd ask her for espresso

What's with the caffeine meme. Why do you people love it so much

>he doesn't take sips

I read it like four years ago and didn't like it
Augustus is too much of a normie

>he says 'sips'

Holy fuck, this is worse than I expected.

>Why do you people love it so much
because it helps you focus better when reading
not that anyone here reads

Veeky Forums

B T F O
T
F
O

>if you disagree with me you won't get to use my holes!

"S-shut up virgin xd"

I tried to read it with an open mind but fuck this is bad.

what the fuck did you expect from YA?

reader of the book here and it was great because I understood it. great stuff for /brainlet/s
nicedigits btw

so what you're telling me is that most woman are brainlets

Never heard of it, let's get some coffee and talk about it.

Please explain this meme to me.

It's a Veeky Forums meme. Someone posted a thread with that pic with the comment "that first sip of the day" and it took off. Possibly viral marketing. Don't know if it can be explained much beyond that.
4archive.org/board/fit/thread/39542862

this url is pure cancer. so many popups.

>he hasn't had the first sip of the day