You're in DFW's class

>you're in DFW's class
>he hands out graded papers
>D-
>he notes: Your paper was disturbingly ironic and insincere. Meet me after class.

What do?

>give him a copy of Infinite Jest
>write with a marker "D-, most of notes are factually wrong, especially the STEM ones!" on it

Meet him after class.

use the paper to roll up some mary jane and play tennis

He was a closet Ironicist, he detested irony but in the end, he really wants to take it from behind, ironically.

wait for his depression to set in so he kills himself.

shouldn't be long. this guy was the poster boy for dunning kruger

I took a creative nonfiction course with him at Ponoma back in '94. We weren't allowed to show anyone our essays outside of the class for some reason. He seemed naturally intelligent, didnt need to look at any notes or textbooks or prepare for any lectures, he just knew his stuff and was super casual.

I saw him talking to a girl on campus one day. He uncharacteristically wore a Fila sweatsuit, the kind that looks like it's made from the same material as parachutes, and trainer sneakers with a matching bandana. That was his pussy hunt outfit apparently. Several times a week, same outfit, I'd see him hitting on women in it. I once saw him wearing it while carrying an identical outfit from the dry cleaners, he had like 4 sets of same Fila sweatsuit.

I asked him about it in class and he said we aren't allowed to discuss anything unrelated to class while inside class, the same way we can't show anyone outside of class our essays. A student called out "but Dostoevsky isn't in this class and last week you talked about replicating his black tea obsession to test its affects on your own writing". Wallace stared blankly at the student with dead eyes for 30 seconds in dead silence then said "you just got knocked down a full letter grade. Any other smart asses? Didn't think so." and pushed up his glasses with his index finger.

I remember telling myself this guy will either be super successful or kill himself.

haha how about that lynch guy.....he's pretty cool

How old is this pasta?

I think this pasta has staying power.

"how's -hic- THIS for insincere?"
*starts to sob*

>run home
>shave pubic hair, balls and anus
>put on my frilliest pair of panties
>meet david after class
>unzip dick

do you think his suicide was ironic or sincere?

definitely ironic

>shave pubic hair, balls and anus
>you're still a 300 pound ball of lard, but now, shaved

it was the only sincere act of his entire life. the rest of his life as an "ironic" joke.

Hate this meme

kill yourself

>that's the joke dot jaypegg

How come he was allowed to wear Lennon-esque granny glasses but every time I've ever gone to the optician all they have is oceans of square-ish shit and a single round style in a drawer in the back of the store?

Is there errata on his shit?

wen the pasta doesn't deplete as u eat it

Who has the time? Just correcting his ironic Quebecois would take years

optometry is a racket for the jews

that's the style
>95% looks identical
>in red-brown or black!

just nair your ass dude

Send him this snapchat pic that I saw.

lol

I thought the no sharing rule was going to lead to him being a plagiarist. I like the Fila sweatsuit part though. 8/10.

He's literally dead, why would he care of all this?

I read Raymond Carver out loud for six hours straight to teach myself to be sincere

Is this a reference to something?

meet him and make funny faces throughout the entire meeting.

Fila sweatsuits are timeless.

like a week