Please leave and never return if you agree with any of the following;

Please leave and never return if you agree with any of the following;

>you read any form of genre fiction
>you think fantasy, science fiction, detective fiction, young adult fiction or horror are literature
>you barely know your classics
>you tend to believe that if you like a given work, it is justified on an artistic level
>you think everyone's opinion should be accepted and respected
>you speak a single language
>you read contemporary versions of Shakespeare or Milton
>you read for the plot
>you read for entertainment
>you rarely read nonfiction
>you don't have a solid grounding in philosophy
>you do not at least have some understanding of the Three Tragedians and Homer
>you have little to no understanding of literature outside of your cultural horizon
>you have little to no understanding of literature within your own cultural horizon (muh african authors)
>you mostly read contemporary literature
>you believe 'the author is dead'
>you make your literary analysis proceed from ideology
>you think intricate prose is 'pretentious' and that the author 'should just get to the point'
>your rarely read poetry
>you think Rhythm and Rhyme is just useless rules and laws restricting creativity
>you have a hard time explaining why you like a given work
>you have a hard time forming structured and relevant literary criticism
>you tend to refuse to judge works for yourself, rather relying on the opinions of literary authorities
>you rarely read for more than one or two hours straight

This is a board about literature. You're not welcome here. Please take your plebeian garbage to /b/ or reddit, where you will find both a demographic and a general atmosphere more consistent with your tastes and your culture.

Also, what is the patrician book you are reading right now?

You say The Hunger Games, I say The Sot-Weed Factor
You say Twilight, I say The Recognitions
You say Divergent, I say The Magic Mountain
You say Harry Potter, I say In Search of Lost Time
You say Perks, I say Women & Men
You say John Green, I say shut the fuck up
You say Cassandra Clare, I scream Thomas Pynchon!!
You say Fifty Shades of Grey, I fucken punch you in the face

92% of teenagers have turned to YA and memes. If you are part of the 8% that still reads real literature, copy and paste this message to another 5 threads. DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF Veeky Forums DIE

>now
Stopped reading right there, buddy.
Also why are you making this thread again?

To make this board a better place.

okay this is clearly a bait post but >you read contemporary versions of Shakespeare or Milton

who the fuck does this

>wants to make this board a better place
this 1 says you don't

>the author is dead 1!!1! its actuelly tru!!

subtle barth shilling

so fucked up if true

...

Yeah I don't think this is true.

>admits the 1920's was a different era in terms of cultural values around gender etc.
>thinks ancient Rome was like today

I say STOP ONLY READING MODERNISM AND POMO YA CUNT

it's real

there's more

Novalis was such a qt

Know what's worse? I'm guessing most of /lit would not have been able to write this.

get out OP.

BUT SHAKESPEARE'S VALUE LIES IN HIS POETIC STRUCTURE

HE IS TAUGHT OVER OTHER PLAYWRIGHTS BECAUSE IAMBIC PENTAMETER IS A GOOD INTRODUCTION DUE TO ITS SIMPLICITY

TO SUMMARIZE HIS SENTENCES INDIVIDUALLY IS TO REMOVE ALL VALUE FROM HIS WORK, WHY EVEN WASTE YOUR TIME

Novalis is probably the cutest literary figure

who is this? she's cute

it's a trap.
Sorry, I meant he.

>Shakespeare's value lies in his poetic structure
Not his ONLY value, user. Otherwise he would only be taught in poetry classes.

Pretty sure rewriting him as text messages removes all of his different values.

Humor me sir; are you able to tell where your head ends and your ass begins?

spotted the YA reader

Why would you say a thing like that?

Veeky Forums - people who have never read a YA book in their lives accusing other people who have never read a YA book in their lives of reading YA

cuz u read YA

Get off my board.

>rarely read for more than 2 hours straight
You tell me when I have the time or nessacary patience to read ulysses for 2 hours straight. Jesus this book is difficult to get through.

I don't read YA, but I do read comics and literature. So , please explain why I cannot enjoy both Sam Humphries' Green Lanterns and Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina? Is it inconceivable that someone couldn't possibly enjoy both the Hainish Cycle and John Donne or Andrew Marvell's poetry?

get out

Tell me why any work of Art needs a justification for it's existence, and I'll think about it. I think by creating arbitrary boundaries between genres and forms, you are breaking one of your own rules.

out

Can you tell the difference between an author creating beautiful prose and and an author masturbating to his knowledge of the dictionary?

lmao

Is this pasta making a comeback? This is like a decade old /mu/ meme isn't it?

This is the only one that stumped me:
>you think fantasy, science fiction, detective fiction, young adult fiction or horror are literature
Gormenghast, Perdido Street Station, Roadside Picnic are great works.

I'm reading Archaeology of The Mind by Panksepp and Biven.

I'm sorry, my son, but according to OP you aren't a Real Reader.

Everyone read Harry Potter.

oh goddamn it

out

Idk, user. Take away all the "fancy" thees and thous and it all just seems a lot like bold and the beautiful with added puns and the slang of the day.

Plots didn't matter to Shakespeare at all.

"He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it."

Veeky Forums never changes
>muh nietzsche
>muh critical thinking,
>muh greeks
>t-this degree isn't just useless toilet paper, it means I'm smart and know how to read!

kys

Make me.

Got 'em, user.

Fuck is this real? They are pushing it in schools?

>you have a hard time explaining why you like a given work

Why do I have to explain it to you? I like it for reasons that I like it, and I don't have to put them into words in speech or words in my mind.

but prose IS pretentious bullshit and the author should get to the point already

I pass all the questions, and honestly don't know at this point if that's good or bad. Can't sift through all the levels of irony.

I think he means if you're already talking about it, but are unable to make comments beyond booktube-tier "I really like this, I'm enjoying it a lot." Is it the plot, the characters, the style, etc.

No.

Who cares lmao retard kidshits are gonna read retarded kidshit

This isn't any worse than normal "translations", it just makes you feel old.

yee

You seem troubled friend.

lol by that dumb list people like milton couldn't post here
I know it's bait but kys

I wholeheartedly embrace this brave attempt to make Veeky Forums more autism-friendly.

>you
>believes in the notion of self
>thinks he has "a grounding in philosophy"

hahaha

Your not a writer, your a reader.
and that's o.k.

>he thinks Milton read YA
kys su teknon

If you don't reply to the rear pumpkin spice Pepe you will be a normie for the rest of your days.

Found the YA reader.

muh greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks

>your rarely read poetry

>you think Rhythm and Rhyme is just useless rules

Illiterates ought to leave this board immediately, and never return.

Why? They are literally the peak of literature.

NICE MOTHERFUCKING MEME YOU CUNT

t. retarded American turd

Stop being a mad pleb. Start with pic related.

>They [the moderns] are literally the peak of literature.

I'll do if you start with pic related.

...

Nobody fucking buys that except for deluded grandparents, what you should really be worried about is shit like "No Fear Shakespeare"

>not reading an episode a day for 3 hours straight

I'm actually going to read that after finishing GR :)
How will I ever recover?

Is "found the X / X detected" the most pointlessly obnoxious meme?

Alright, then I'm going to buy GR :)

crybaby detected. qq moar

It's pretty much a reddit-tier meme

Nice, the first 70 or so pages are a little hard, but is worth it.
Any tips for the commedia?

No problem, I'm ready.
Just read it with a commentary or buy an edition with footnotes. It will be long, but don't give up.

found the reddit poster

Replying just to tell you I haven't left yet.

>pic
Iove bizarre outsider art. More?

You said somewhere you wanted to make this board a better place; thus you should realise that driving out the mediocre and the plebs through the constant shilling, if not of OP's particular content, at least of the ideas behind it, would do Veeky Forums a great favor.

>that picture!?

I would rather have Butters back than listen to all of these people from /books drone on. Its like someone took our balls.

>Hello all. Time to pause for a message from the creator of this ridiculous mess, Kermit Guildersleeve, the probably mentally retarded :-D. This is the kind of art that your academy takes on look at and gets their naught knackered nethers in a knot. They huff, and puff, and even though they all see themselves as cigarrette and latte guzzling lo-fi rebels constantly speaking the truth to power, whatever that means nowadays. You see, these people are frustrated. Art to them is a signifier of intelligence, a lock that their overpriced "education" is a key to. It seperates them from us. The intelligensia from the unwashed masses who do, like, jobs and stand around scratching their collective bums. These are people who are too good to experience the sensual pleasures of reading great literature on the pot. Art to them is a stiff, dead, masturbation to their own percieved genius. There is nothing real or vital about it, the life of cave paintings or greek statuary or the fireside poets or even '60s comics is gone. Its dead, an effusion from something already empty. There is no blood, no fire, no love, just pointless sensuality. In short, as you may guess, I believe that these people who hold themselves in such high esteem for doing all sorts of drugs and rutting like gerbils in heat deserve richly every ounce of mockery that my riotously funny pictures of people defecating in many interesting ways can provide

Basically.

What compels you to compose this kind of art?

>ya is bad
>who is horatio alger jr

get fucked pleb

>you speak a single language
>you believe 'the author is dead'

These two apply to me. I'm gonna stay, though. :^)

The Ivory Tower.

American detected

No shit, buddy. You had a 50-50 shot. Very impressive.

lack of knowledge of statistics detected

never understood qq

i cry from the inside of each eye, not from the inside of my right eye and the outside of my left eye

should be qp, or at worst pq