How do you order coffee

how do you order coffee

"Can I have a large black coffee pls"
>need room?
"no thanks, I'm fine"

P. Ez

"large double double"

but i want a nice coffee with all the little extras added
how do i do it

Let me get a bean juice, middle of the road on 20th street. Squeeze the cow and give it a crystal.

What extras?

What did you mean by this?

No talkie until until my coffee!

whenever i go with friends and family they have such a long order and i dont know how to order one so i just say ill have the same

"Hello sir how would you like your coffee today?"

Like your dirty skin, nigger, now hurry the fuck up.

"Here's your coffee sir"

I hate you fucking niggers, have a coffee on me you fucking coon

*chucks boiling hot coffee in niggers face*
*jumps over counter and starts stamping on the niggers head while his dirty face and fat lips are bubbling and coming apart*

If I ever see you again nigger you're dead, DEAD YA HEAR ME

>mfw he's already dead

What do they order?

With your big boy words! Go on fella, you can do it!

...

...

Depends on what you want.

You just want a regular black coffee or something on the sweet side?

idk some random capucinno latte triple shot
i dont know what these words means and all the types, my coffee knowledge only goes up to instant coffee

just another example of how Veeky Forums got worse when /v/ and /pol/ started coming here

Only faggots drink anything other than black coffee. It's also acceptable to order a red eye which is regular coffee with a shot of espresso added for an extra bit of caffeine.

>unironically go to starbucks because haven't had coffee in six hours and I can choose not to drink coffee anytime I want
>I'll have an americano
>inb4 diluted espresso I know it is
>can I have it 75% espresso
>what
>can I have 2/3 of it espresso and the rest water?
>uhhh
>you mean like how many shots of espresso dude
>mfw
>like how you normally do it but more espresso and less water
>white people smile.jpg
>tfw not even white

Such sophisticated humor. I don't think that this board deserves of someone with such a high IQ and talent with jokes. Why don't you go to
Oh and make sure not to come back

why do you get such a retarded order? just ask for x shots of espresso with some water added or add the water yourself you cuck

>barista not knowing how to adjust americano
>going to starbucks and paying startax just to do something you can do at home
>mfw

you're the one who went in the first place you retard

Cappuccino is
>espresso
>water
>foamed milk
An Americano is just espresso and hot water.
A latte is the same but with milk and not water. A double means an espresso based beverage with 2 shots of espresso.
A red eye is black coffee with a shot of espresso. Drip coffee is just brewed coffee.

it was an emergency situation. I would have made my own if I was at home.

> emergency situation
> coffee

le survival juice xD

seriously going to Starbucks and bitching about it, especially something that is your fault for communicating like an autist, makes you the retard here, not the barista

well, they might have been one too, but you're still more retarded

Lemme get a double triple Grande iced vanilla no foam soy milk extra

>le survival juice xD
>hasn't had caffeine withdrawal
>communicating like an autist
>t.retarded barista

Black. Unless I'm in a starbucks. If you're spending $7 on it you might as well get the gayest fanciest thing they make

Lemme get a Venti Zebra Frap. Extra whip. Yes i'd like a caramel drizzle

TWO SUGARS, TWO SUGARS BITCH

Your butthurt only encourages me to shitpost more you little faggot ahahahaha

Why are you so triggered shit for brains? You a nigger loving faggot or something? Go on any board and you'll find plenty of people who hate niggers so why don't you just stop using the site if you get triggered so easily little bitch?

>hasn't had caffeine withdrawal
Shit clears up in a week you enormous baby.

Ay girl put some shit in it.

literally just have to filter the word nigger

anyone who uses it on Veeky Forums of all god damn places has nothing of value to say anyway

>some milk
>half a packet of sugar
>cinnamon on top

Faggot

>it's ok to be in withdrawal when you can't be in withdrawal brah it will clear in a week and not right now when you need to be in withdrawal
>emergency
dumbass

wow guys he said nigger!
quick screencap it and post it to le /r/Veeky Forums for epic karma!

the dubs and butthurt make it even better

Aw, thanks user.
Your opinion means fuck all, you and I both know that

C O A L B U R N E R

The only dumbass is the idiot who manages to catch a caffeine addiction in the first place.
This isn't crack or meth you idiot you can quit cold turkey any time.

I remember asking for coffee in a hospital she just gave me a tiny bit of disgustingly bitter coffee with not much water, no sugar or milk. I didn't know if I had to pay extra for the milk and sugar that was sitting there on the counter so I just walked out and drank the tiny bit of horribly bitter liquid.

>user gets high on painkillers and orders an espresso

Wow.

>being in a hospital

Wew lad, you get aids from sucking too many faggot nigger dicks?

Honestly grab an energy drink or a coke from a convenience store. It'll give you nearly as much caffeine as you need and you won't have to argue with the barista through clenched teeth. Also work on the addiction.

>want a plain black coffee
>never quite sure how to order a plain black coffee

>can I get a plain black coffee

>can i get uhhh.... boneless coffee

You don't.
don't spend your money on starbucks.

>can I get a plain black coffee?
>"Sure, what kind?"
>uuuh...

C-can I get a cup of coffee p-please?
>What'd you say? A large chai latte?
Y-you too

Walk in and ask for a flat white

You ask for what you want

Can I ask for several shots of espresso in an empty cup with ice and then help myself to the half and half at the napkin station?

Will they charge just for the expresso shot (80 cents) or does this apply to complete drinks only?

>What extras?
He wants a cookie.

this, fucking retards ruined my coffee. I have to say meme word to actually order a cup of normal black coffee.

sometimes I love how uncultured my country is. Outside of starbucks you can just say "Give me a coffee" and they will bring you a coffee.

There's no way to order coffee at any modern coffee shop without sounding like a homosexual.

The easiest place to order coffee is on a McDonald's touch screen.
Why are there no touch screens to make orders at Starbucks yet?

>cappuccino
>added water

in what universe

it serves as an autism filter, spergs can't interact with attractive barista girls so they stay away

Acceptable daily coffee orders for a grown man:
Black coffee (cream/milk/sugar acceptable over age 50)
Cappuccino
Double espresso

The "room" meme needs to end. If someone wants less coffee in the cup, they should specify that when they order.

Tall flat white.

>Order large coffee, black.
>Ask non-binary gender fluid attack helicopter behind counter to add a few cubes of ice to the cup.
>They stare at the register for 2 minutes trying to find the button that charges for two cubes of ice.

You're going to have a difficult life, user.

Latté, no foam no sugar (i add a little myself, otherwise it's always too sweet)

moon man moon man can't you see?

>walk in
>put money on counter
>receive coffee

Don't even need to talk.

Nigga try a day wtf are yall doing

Sucking faggot nigger dicks by the sound of things

11/10 post

I make it myself because I'm not a stupid asshole.

With my mouth

2 creams no sugar

hello, two mcdoubles and a small coffee, 2 cream 2 sugar. thanks.

oh can i have a cup for """""water"""""

espresso black, sometimes short if im in a hurry.

>can i have a cup for """""water"""""
You fill the cup with ketchup, don't you

>how do you order coffee
If ever iced heavy cream and very sweet

no i actually fill it with water and drink it. then when im ready to leave i fill it with coke and walk out.

Light and sweat. Unless I am dead tired. Then I get cocaine.

Sweat. Yes. Sweat has a chemical reaction with the coffee bean. Hard to explain, it exudes a vinegary taste with a hint of.edamame.

Perferable the sweet from an old Polish woman.

"un caffè espresso per favore"

Fucking ask your friends what kind of fancy shit they order and why. You can also just ask the person on the counter to explain shit to you. Or just try out a bunch of different stuff and figure out what you like.

YOU GOT OPTIONS HERE

Un allongé et un grand verre d'eau s'il vous plait.

I don't. Fuck paying stupid money for coffee.

"One coffee please." Don't forget to bring money to pay for said coffee.

toss coins in, press the button.

Imagine making your coffee order part of your identity
Its weird

I'm learning as well. I try to go to local coffee shops instead of starbucks, but if you're going to starbucks try downloading their app and playing with their menu, come up with a drink and it'll tell you what it's called.

When I order coffee I say "____ mocha with whole milk." Choose a flavor and put it in the blank. Vanilla is good.

*Tips fedora*

Hey can I get your darkest roast with nothing in it.
-t. coffee ordering pro

I don't drink coffee anymore but Litterally God tier coffee from starbucks is

>grande cold brew
>good pour of heavy cream

Thank me later

Such orders are so common, I trip up baristas with the brevity of my order. The few times I order at Starbucks, it goes roughly like
>"Tall latte, please."
>Pause
>"...oh! uh, the name for your order?"

Honestly?

Underrated post.

I feel u.

Black, 14 sugars

so you go to UCSC?

iced mocha, or iced mocha frappe/latte

>describing a literal drug withdraw

NO TALKIE TIL I'VE HAD MY COFFEE