>first day as dishwasher at the finest Japanese restaurant in my city
>take out my kiritsuke knife half-way through the shift
>audible gasps from the kitchen staff
>I approach the head chef
>snatch the piece of monkfish right from his hand
>fillet and slice the fucker within a blink of an eye
>he says it's the most beautiful presentation of fish he's ever seen and immediately commits sudoku in shame
So, what was your Saturday like, Veeky Forums?
>things that didn't happen
wow user, your so cool!
I slept all day and didn't cook anything until like 10pm. Your story is cool too OP
the knife wasn't really enchanted op!
the magic was in you all alo-
oh no wait the knife was magic..
First of all, op is a fag
Second, monkfish looks like shit. Its the pork tenderloin of fish
fucking savage
I looked at penises on Craigslist for a while then fapped, went to kfc and now I'm at home watching the Simpsons.
masturbated multiple times, slept and cried a little
also ate a lot of rice since its pretty much the only thing i have left in home and im too sad to go out and do groceries
>Cleaned my apartment from around 12 A.M. to 5:00 A.M.
>Watched Breaking Bad until 9:30 A.M.
>Went to brunch and farmer's market with my mom
>Came back home uncomfortably full at 12:00 P.M.
>Continued watching Breaking Bad in bed
>Diarrhea every 30 mins until 4:30 P.M.
>Slept until 11:30 P.M.
>It's now 12:10 A.M. on Sunday
I left off at the end of season 3 of Breaking Bad in 2012, so now I've spent the past week working on watching the entire show from start to finish. I'm near the end of season 4, finally.
[spoiler]someone dies[/spoiler]
I feel like there's better places on the internet to look at penises than craigslist
>wake up hungover as fuck
>feel like death, try to get gf to blow me or something cause I think it will make me feel better
>she has to go to work, says she'll take care of me when she gets home from work
>take her to her work, grab kolaches on the way
>drive past burger king on way home
>see sign for 2 whoppers for 6 bucks
>havent had one in ages so grab two
>get home, eat them and try not to puke
>watch some little league, jerk off and pass out
>wake up and go for a walk
>come home and jerk off again
>go do laundry
>filthy negroid keeps asking where I played football and trying to sell me mid-90's CD-ROM games and phone chargers
>shower
>make some dope meatballs for gf when she gets home
>now im watching 30 minutes or less on tv and its shit
/r9k/ is pretty good. They have an excellent selection of boy penises and girl penises.
Where do you go to look at penis?
>I'm working the night shift with the new dishwasher
>this guy comes in with a really expensive knife
>you can almost smell the futa on him
>dead pan stares the head chef
>he yanks the pre-filleted flake off the chefs chopping board
>proceeds to mangle the fish with all the precision of a drunken blowfly
>takes the end off of his finger
>laughs in the head chefs face
>the rest of the line watches in horror
>this dishwasher waddles out of the restaurant holding his bloody stump
>commits sudoku in shame
Hey was this in Sussex I was there
Tbh, kiritsuke are exec knivez for a reason; halfway between a suji and an usuba, both of which are hard to master and without which there is little point in owning one.
I trialled at a members club I used to work at, seems like a nice balance; they have fine dining, weddings, easy lunch, and soon deli style kitchens that can be switched between
Sharpened up the knives and made a nice soup with toms from my garden
Nice day
your under 6 feet right?
op wasnt expecting you to believe it dipshit. Its called humor. Look into it.
Its the best place to check out local penises
>watch some little league, jerk off
poseur
Woke at 12, started masturbating at 14 until 18, made dinner, then masturbate from 22 to 2.
Rincz and repeat
why are you even on this forum?
>forum
why are you even here
...
Holy shit it's a real redditor. Hi, can I touch you?
No, Im 6 foot even
>tfw people didn't get OP's story because they don't know about the weird Japanese kitchen order of rank thing that forbids anyone but the head chef to use the Kiritsuke knife in the kitchen
You forgot the part where you tipped your fedora
>stainless suminagashi kiritsuke
absolutely disgusting
how much do you weigh
>wake up
>puke, go to work
>coffee, carrot bits
>prep prep
>cook cook
>clean clean
>go home
>drink and watch animu
>rinse and repeat
an heroing soon. hate it now that its the job. not a lot of joy left. gf went to grad school, on a break after some drunk argument
bye y'all, good laughs
I usually float around 200 lbs
i pooped and it splashed my butthole
Stop watching anime and stop drinking
Humor is supposed to be funny.