Alright manchildren. Femanon here to teach you how to cook for success...

Alright manchildren. Femanon here to teach you how to cook for success. I've been seeing some of y'all trying to make ramen, chicken nuggets, and other things that require cooking, so this recipe is gonna be oven/stove/microwave free

Other urls found in this thread:

youtu.be/E4E-3GE9bKo
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Step one is to gather your ingredients. Most of you will probably have to go shopping for these, but they're with the money. In fact, they'll be cheaper in the long term than chicken nuggets, (and ramen, if you count the hospital bills).
1)Bread. I recommend wheat, because white bread is for heathens.
2)Peanut butter. Crunchy or creamy is fine. Don't waste your money on almond butter or anything else. Your tongue will thank me later.
3) Jelly/Jam/Preserves. Don't skimp on this one. That plastic-squirt-bottle trash will make you sick and if you throw up, that's precious food wasted.

PS: sorry about the glare, it's getting late and my phone's flash sucks.

Step 2.
Find a knife. If your roommates (assuming you have the socialization skills necessary to share an apartment) are like mine, you might have to do some searching or cleaning. Luckily, there was one in the drawer so I didn't have to clean up after my roommate.

please show feet

Putting on a dress doesn't automatically make you a woman.

Clean your camera lens

Next, lay out 4 slices of bread like this. The one on the right will get peanut butter first.

this is already really stupid and annoying. just stop

also, i bet 20 bucks OP is over 200 pounds

It doesn't have to be perfect, just keep it even enough.

PS: use a butter knife if you have one, not a bread knife. I know it's called butter knife, but trust me it works fine for sandwiches, and you don't want to cut yourself (while cooking at least. I recommend against it as a general rule, though). Clean the knife by scraping it over the inside lip of the peanut butter jar.

L O N D O N
O
N
D
O
N

rude

>this entire thread

Jelly is next. That way the bread fits together. If one of the slices is an end piece, you really have to follow this step. Otherwise you risk getting your jelly spilled.

PS: I just realized I spilled some jelly while getting it out of the jar. Blame the lack of lights in my apartment.

living with roommates is a sign of being a loser. posting pictures of the filth you live in is pathetic. ironically showing "manlets" how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with generic jelly and generic bread is lowest class.

Now make the bread kiss. Pretend one is you and the other is one of your cum-stained anime figurines.

BUT WHAT DO WE DO WITH THE OTHER TWO SLICES OF BREAD? I NEED TO KNOW FAST!

please show feet

Peanut butter again. Use the same unwashed knife because your roommate is a piece of shit who never cleans the dishes like she promised to, and she also happens to have a deadly raspberry allergy.

this is worse than a mcdonalds chicken sandwich thread, at least those are slightly funny

Almost finished!
Put some jelly in that last slice, (I used the jelly I spilled on the counter, because at least that's clean), then repeat the kiss from before.

please show feet

Finally, put away the ingredients. While you're in the cabinet, take a picture of your roommate's half so you feel better about being poor.

I would unironically feel no remorse were I to murder and eat you and your roommate.

>cant eat raspberries

that poor poor soul...

you and your roommate are filthy roaches

i wouldnt fuck OP even if i had a borrowed dick to do it with

And voila! A semi-accurate reproduction of the meal a functional human being would actually eat!
Don't forget your daily multivitamins, and a handful of painkillers.

please show feet

>>woman
>>can't cook

This is why men are going after robot s

>made us a sandwich
at least you know your place in life

Clearly you're not paying attention. This thread is for poorfags who can't afford to weigh over 140.

please show feet

She makes do with her Vanilla Ramen recipe. Y'all would feel right at home in a thread where I taught you how to make that one.

>Don't forget your daily multivitamins, and a handful of painkillers.
youtu.be/E4E-3GE9bKo

when my tongue thanks you, can we film it?

Love the thread, OP. Not for the "food", but for how much it trolls the autists.

>manchildren

Best thread in Veeky Forums at the moment.

Pls show armpits

Kek

OP pls post feet

Please show feet, you whore

POST FEET