Be me

Do whatever you think is right and

>stick with it

That's an alpha male's way. A letter might seem odd and cringey. But if it's your thing, do it. You have to be absolutely positive though and be radiating with energy. That energy is better transmitted by throwing yourself out there and talk to her in person. This will push you out of your comfort zone. And it's a good thing that it does.

If it works, good. If it doesn't work, don't spend a second thought on her.

>i was 22 when i first fucked
>i was rejected multiple times, hurt like a bitch (5'7'')
>now have a loving gf

just don't let your supposed weaknesses get the best of you.

Best of luck.

I'm not going to send it, i.e. post it. And there's no point travelling to this town again just to hand it to her. I just wanted Veeky Forums's opinion about it. This Friday I'm going to travel to this town after work and walk into the bar (which will be crowded with drunken normies, mostly middle-aged and working class) and stand around by myself until she appears and then rush over and bluntly say:

>"I realize you probably get asked out a lot, but would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Hopefully she will remember me from last week. I mean we did maintain eye contact for several seconds. It's a relatively busy bar but it looks like there are a lot of locals there, although I did walk past on Sunday hoping to see her but some Art Chads in plaid were smoking and joking around outside. It made me sick so I crossed the road and rushed back to the guy's apartment.

On facebook? I wouldn't have added her, if that's what you were asking. I'm just very good at researching things via google (I found the other bar staff via a boolean search) and I would have found out if she's single, how old she is, if she's a student, and so on probably. Just to know if I'm being retarded in feeling attraction towards her.

Wow, thanks for the comment. Most people on /r9k/ said I should never approach women due to my "autism" and retarded perspective etc.

don't weite the insecure shit about how strange this is, and "if you would like that too". just keep it simple. say you're leaving and would regret not trying to get to know her ((email)).

>hitting on a bartender

stop it guys we just want to work.

Just go for it. The regret of not doing it will be much worse than any potential embarrassment that you face.

>You have to be absolutely positive though and be radiating with energy. That energy is better transmitted by throwing yourself out there and talk to her in person. This will push you out of your comfort zone. And it's a good thing that it does.

This is actually good advice. Particularly that "radiating with energy" line. Use it as a small mantra if you start to lose your nerve. It might help you buck up a bit.

Now please never make a thread this /r9k/ on the literature board ever again.

leave the "i realitr" part out and just ask her out already. she can decide on her own if you fall into the "annoying guy that hits on me whilst i'm working" or the "interesting guy i actually would like to get to know" category. you can't decide that for her.

>Most people on /r9k/ said I should never approach women due to my "autism" and retarded perspective etc.

Always do the opposite of what /r9k/ advises unless you want to be like users of /r9k/ user.

Well you said it yourself man, you're going to regret not sending it to her so maybe you listen to yourself and do it
You don't need us to tell you what you already want to do

I can't write the letter now. I left there on Sunday. I was going to ask the guy if he felt like going there for a Sunday dinner, but if she wasn't working there it would be a waste of money and plus it would have been the busiest time.

Also girls I know like a guy who sees them and knows he wants them and approaches them as a result, just like they would their ambitions, not some weird guy who looks at them in a meaningful way but then collapses under the weight of self-doubt and ends up feigning indifference so as not to make that self-doubt obvious or visible. But if I go back this Friday I hope she doesn't see me and think "oh jesus not this fucking weirdo again" and treat my question like a form of harassment, or fear that I'll be there every weekend hounding / stalking her. I have zero reasons to return to this town ever again, but she doesn't know that and might be scared. I'm not ugly, though I'm not as cute / handsome as I was when I was 23 / 24. My eyes are more tired these days and my nasolabial folds are becoming rather visible, and the puppyfat beneath my eyes, which once provided them with a sort of childlike cuteness, has been eaten away for whatever reason and is now prone to making me appear exhausted and probably demented at times.

OP here. I have been a bartender previously for around 5 months and a few older guys hit on me and I know girls have it worse (a female bartender asked the landlord for my number and tried to rush me into having sex so I stopped seeing her). That's the reason I didn't want to sit there looking at her in the hope of finding out if she likes me too judging by the look she gave me in return. In an academic or transport setting that's ok I guess, but with the customer-server dichotomy there is the underlying power imbalance which makes it more likely that I am being "creepy" and taking advantage of her alleged lowly status (which is usually what women get off on, perhaps, but in this context - i.e. a pub - just makes it creepy and uncomfortable). Also when I worked in a bar I saw girls I would have dated and a few of them talked to me in a way that seemed like they were attracted to me, but they always let themselves down by being crude or forward.

>But if I go back this Friday I hope she doesn't see me and think "oh jesus not this fucking weirdo again" and treat my question like a form of harassment, or fear that I'll be there every weekend hounding / stalking her. I have zero reasons to return to this town ever again, but she doesn't know that and might be scared.

buddy you are thinking into this way too much. if she starts to freak out on you literally shrug and walk away.

The worst that can happen is you getting turned down. Go for it.

But I don't want to make her feel creeped out. It was my first visit to this town but she may think I live there and am now stalking her or something. I asked the guy I was with if she'd worked there long but he said he'd never seen her before, but he's not very observant.

Thanks for the post.

>i realitr

Huh?

I can't send her a letter now, as I don't live in her town. I plan to catch a train there (40 minutes or so) this Friday evening and walk right in and ask her out. But the thing is I have no friends, and my only hobby is writing fiction. I just won first prize with a big cash reward in a short story competition, and I've been shortlisted for others and had a novel accepted (but I withdrew it) so I have ambitions, but they are very onanistic ones I suppose (i.e. not travelling or partying with friends etc). If she's sociable I'm screwed, since I have no friends. I am looking for a quiet, lonely, sensitive girl who is looking for a quiet, lonely, sensitive guy. Pls no bully.

if she, for whatever reason think you're a weirdo, then there's nothing you can do about. but see it positively. if she rejects you, you will never see her again and she will soon forget you as one of the many guys hitting on her at work. if she does shut you down, remember that you donmt know her reasons and don't assume them (she thinks i'm a creep, i am not handsome enough, i've behaved autistic,...). maybe she's already in a relationship. maybe she's secretly in love with her boss. maybe shems lesbian. maybe she hates men. what the hell would you know about her reasons. donmt take it too personal. providing this as the base, you got nothing to lose. either you are back at zero or you got yourself a date.

i do think that asking her in person is the best approach. but please donmt say any of the appologetic nonsense you wanted to say... after all, if this should ever amount to anything, it should be that both of you feel like they have made a great catch. if you act like she's out of your league or would do you a favor by going out with you, she can't seriously consider you as an equal and thus not see you as relationship material.

You should probably just go for it lad

OP here. Any advice about my job situation?

I've worked here three years, since the company started, but sperged out and said I'm leaving to do a masters. I was planning to study librarianship but I now think that job would make me even more depressed, especially if I end up having to direct normies to the Thriller section all day.

My boss is on holiday this week but I plan to email him to ask if I can have a chat next Monday and explain my situation, and ask humbly if I can continue.

Is this retarded and cowardly?

I googled "withdraw my resignation" in speech marks and the only exact result was from a self-published book where a chambermaid asks her wealthy employer if she can withdraw her resignation and the employer smirks and mocks her for being so pathetic.

Any novels about this etc?

Am I being an idiot or is the best way to approach these things simply just to go up to her and talk?

Tell her that you want to talk to her, and make sure that you sound interested in what she has to say, leading the conversation away from certain topics if it gets too dull. And then finally ask for her number - if she has a boyfriend, oh well.

I sympathise (especially because you're not in a good place) but the older I get (27) the more I realise the idealized concept of romantic meetings as commonly portrayed in shitty movies and certain books (even good books) is problematic.

Things I've learned: Nobody cares about your hobbies unless it's something active (i.e. magician). Too much ego is nothing but a problem. People just want to be valued. Girls know full well if they're interested in you within the space of five minutes.

And a note is a bad idea - my ex had a note written to her once like that; she came home and we talked about it, clearly seemed ridiculous to me knowing it was always going to fall flat but I guess it was sweet (sweet will rarely bag you a chick).

explain it in like you just did and see if he has some empathy left. least you can so is try.

I'd genuinely go ahead with that Masters. You could go back to work there but you clearly hate it so why not move on with your life and (potentially) find something better?

Perhaps not a Librarianship if you don't have your heart set on it.

Fuck off, robot

Your letter is dishonest. "I would like to get to know you" Why? I don't see any indication that you think your character and hers have chemistry. The only honest thing your letter can say is "I wanna fuck your face"

You are a desperate little shit and she will be able to tell. Nut up. That's all.

Should I ask her some questions first before I ask her out? I feel like I will slip into nice-guy mode and make her think I'm just some lame-o who is sincerely interested in smalltalk. I feel like pulling a Travis Bickle and just walking in there and looking in her eyes in a way that makes her know something is up (I have very expressive eyes) and then asking her out in a way that is calm, serious (but not angry) and confident, with the subtext being that I am a lonely yet interesting and eclectic and passionate person, and that if she is a lonely person too then we are likely to get on and relate to each other etc. I just fear people will overhear and she will think I'm drunk and sperged out and that the locals will gang up on me and chase me back to the train station.

1. Masters are expensive, and I don't want to waste time on anything when my heart is set on writing fiction

2. Jobs are scarce, especially ones that allow me to work without having to interact with anybody. Right now I'm at work typing this and people think I'm doing super-serious stuff probably.

I mean I'm just a retarded fucking idiot, I accept that. I am so detached from the world that my infrequent attempts to take part in it usually result in some kind of blundering on my part which makes me rush back to my detached state.

I do not want to "f**k [her] face". I literally have not thought about her sexually at all, though it would a very easy and gratifying to do considering how attractive she is, and I mean cute and beautiful not hot and sexy (though I imagine if she were unclothed those would apply).

did you just steal a louis ck line as you were trying to lecture this guy over being dishonest?

>The only honest thing your letter can say is "I wanna fuck your face"

you even worked the word "letter" in there haha

>I am so detached from the world that my infrequent attempts to take part in it usually result in some kind of blundering on my part which makes me rush back to my detached state.

Do they not prompt you to think about how your behaviour conflicts with it and make you want to become a healthier, happier person?

You don't actually have to buy into all the bullshit at all, if that's what you're worried about.

>I do not want to "f**k [her] face".

user was literally stealing comedy bits as he tried to call someone else dishonest. ignore him the sod sounds even more confused than you do.

OP here. I am NOT being dishonest. I will of course penetrate this girl if and when she desires, though I am not "hitting on" her for the sake of doing that and then going on with my life. I literally don't feel attracted to most girls, even the most conventionally "beautiful" or "hot" ones. Many make me nauseous and on edge. But when I look into the eyes (I mean it) of certain girls and she looks in my eyes I feel there's an instant sense of familiarity, as if we're too lonely people locked in the attics of our respective body-homes who spot each other through the tiny attic windows while lying nude on the ground, it's a mixture of shock at being "caught out" and a strong impulse to get to know this person having sensed that they don't really allow many people to do that for whatever reason.

>make you want to become a healthier, happier person?

I do want to do this, but the means of becoming that sort of person are usually advertised in such a disgusting way (drinking alcohol, having casual sex, etc) that instead I simply close the curtains and read a book instead.

>I will of course penetrate this girl if and when she desires

is this a bait thread and you are intentionally ramping up the tells now because you are getting bored of it?

i can't even tell anymore.

uk user here

which town is this op?

I'm not saying exactly where, but it's near Cuckfield in West Sussex.

Lol user, wait till you get in a proper relationship. This platonic love ideal that you have in your head will die pretty fast when faced with the reality of love.

Get this: she is not perfect, she is flawed, just as much as you are. I guess the saving grace is this - you seem like the sort of guy who'd stick with her even when you get tired of her. Not sure about her though.

OK, this is definitely a subtle troll.

see, the problem with the cold approach is that it's obvious that all what catched your attention was her looks. which can make her assume you're vain and only in it for the sex. that's why it's commonly said to engage in atleast a bit of smalltalk first. what would be the best is if you can etablish an atmosphere where she doesnmt feel like you're bluntly hitting on her out of the blue but have the opportunity to get to know a thing or two about her. after that, she can assume that your interest has a more solid base than "she wears cute white socks". this is hard to achieve, especially if you don't have a common social circle to associate with one another wihout it being explicitely sexual. sadly, that' unachievable in your situation. you only real shot would be to get some sexual tension gowing without it being overly obvious. you want her to seek your company and you want to share informations with one another. it might work if you just ask her out. but it's a risky thing to do.
UNLESS you have some legitimate reasons you are intereste in her that aren't sexual attraction or assumtions. if so, let's hear them.

>s if we're too lonely people locked in the attics of our respective body-homes who spot each other through the tiny attic windows while lying nude on the ground
hahahahah what the fuck

OP here. It definitely not. It's not the town I visited but it was very near to it.

I know she is flawed. She probably defecates once a day and likely picks her nose on occasion. But in equal measure her virtues are there to be discovered just as her flaws. I am aware of my flaws but I also have a lot to offer to a shy, sensitive lonely girl. And not just kisses either. I want to be the mast that she can tie herself too in foul weather.

>OP here. It definitely not.

i am gonna have to agree with that other user my roody poo radar is off the charts right now.

admit it.

I noticed her looks, sure. But I wasn't staring at her body. I mean there was bar between us and I only looked in her eyes when she looked at me. If she said she would date me but we couldn't have sex for a year I'd say yes. I don't really mind if there's just skin down there although I do believe that my intensity and ability to appreciate things from a female perspective will allow me to overwhelm her in an erotic sense should it come to that. In 2014 I made a girl orgasm without even removing my dressing gown. I know she is used to creeps and I know that in trying to seem normal I can come across as a weird guy, but I think by myself people can see that I represent myself only, my own value standards, my own interests, and so on. If she says no I will just smile in a nice way and say "okay, fair enough" then go straight back to catch the next train to the city.

not that user, but he's probably not getting at the fact she's defecating (which isn't a flaw... wtf), but more something like she might have intimacy issues or suck at communication or have bpd or whatever.

I'm not trolling, though I appreciate that it might appear that way based on the name of the town.

bolney road? moar liek baloney thread.

admit it you vile prankster!

This.

The messiness of relationships is much more interesting than the platonic love ideal.

OP here. If she has intimacy issues etc I will actually be glad. I find "damaged" or over-sensitive girls interesting and attractive, and due to their tendency to repress things they also tend to be intelligent or at least have the capacity to experience intense emotions and to appreciate aesthetic experiences that allow them to do that (books, music etc).

the problem is still that she doesn't know that. from her perspective, you saw her and decided that you "want to get to know her" without having talked a word to her. which strongly suggests all you base your interest on is her looks. i'm not saying that's the case. but odds are SHE might take it that way.
i's still give it a try. maybe it works out. i'm only telling you this so you won't think it's your fault if she rejects you.

also, girls rarely orgasm from penetration and a dressing gown leaves your mouth and fingers bare so that's not really impressive. but it's really amusing you mentioned that.

OP here. I'm away for the next 15 mintues but I'll be back.

PLEASE RESPOND in the meantime. This is 100% legitimate.

Any novels about this etc?

Temple of the Golden Pavilion.

Go and ask her out. There hasn't been even a single time where I regretted doing this.

If you can't do it, I mean if you get ultra anxious or shy or whatever, go chat up one of her friends. Since you are not hitting on her you'll be much more relaxed. It could lead to you two meeting or at worst you can ask about her.

I realize that clitoral stimulation, reinforced by other sensory stimuli (ear-licking in my / her case) is more likely to lead to orgasm than just "sticking something up there". Also I just felt awkward with the power dynamic of her "serving" me and me not wanting to take advantage and be the stupid guy who doesn't realize she's just doing her job by over-stepping the line. Which is why I intend to just walk in there and walk straight back out. And at one point on the second night the song "Common People" by Pulp played while I happened to look in her direction and I felt like complete garbage given the fact that she might believe that I am using the songs as a means of referencing our respective positions in the relevant power dynamic suggested by the server-client relationship and that she might inwardly roll her eyes if she thought that. I'm very hungry right now but I will be back in 15 minutes.

Please keep the thread alive.

Also if anybody has more advice about my job, PLEASE POST:

This. Seems deluded of the OP to think he has the slightest understanding of her personality without verifying it by holding an actual factual conversation with her.

You think those wacky psychologist motherfuckers do it all by assessing people from the corner of a room?

OP here. She works here, there are no friends of hers there. There is another barman, who is maybe my age and is a nice guy but I doubt they have much in common. At one point during the night I saw her jokingly pretend to throw a glass at the floor while wiping it and the guy laughed, but I doubt very much whether he has penetrated her and / or whether she has even considered that he might want to do that. I think I've found his facebook but it's hard to tell, but I can't find hers at all. Otherwise she seemed pretty serious or at least neutral, and spent some time standing by herself with her hands resting behind her bottom. When I was near at one point, she asked another barman what another staff member "did in the kitchen all the time" but I sensed she was perhaps making nervous small talk or something (i.e. asking a question that she didn't really want to know the answer to) to draw my attention to her or to subtly announce that she is a talktative person and not a cold mute or something. But she does have a mobile phone, possible an iPhone or Android, and I saw her using it while standing by herself in the small pub kitchen. God knows who she was texting, but I can only hope that it was her depressed, solitary hermit of a single mother.

I hope the mods remove this soon, making passing reference to a note doesn't count as literature and you sound like a massive faggot in general

>I'd like to believe (due to my inability to find her facebook) that she is a shy, edgy girl who resents her tedious job and that she saw me with my suitcase and figured I could rescue her from this small town where she lives with her parents or something like that.

How does one even reach this mode of thinking? Explain your process.

>dead end job
>enough money to leave for london

OP here. I just ate my daily roll of bread and I am back at my desk.

She works in a small town where many people leave school to become administrators, servers, shop workers etc. If she is in her early 20s chances are she lives locally or in a nearby town and just took whatever job she could. I believe she may be a student based on her fashion sense, which suggests self-awareness and therefore perhaps intelligence, though it's hard to tell. As she is used to seeing local guys in the pub playing pool and getting drunk etc, so she may have been curious as to why I was there in my work clothes (white shirt etc) and a suitcase (or the sportsbag equivalent). The locals were a mixture of drunken middle-aged male office workers singing along to "Mr Brightside" by The Killers, younger guys who probably work in construction playing pool, odd guys sitting or standing alone looking weird as fuck, dirty middle-age women who probably work as administrators and who laughed out loud at innuendo, and younger local people from different subcultures (goths, sportschads, etc). I believe this girl is either Twee-Grunge or perpahs Grunge-Goth, but she seems too responsible and self-aware to be consigned to a subculture like that.

>to leave for London

What do you mean by that? I work in London, but I visited this town for the weekend becuse my housemate killed herself and the flat needed clearing.

It's amazing how many asumptions you can pump into your reasoning.

Especially the part where she's wondering about you. For all you know she forgot about you the very second you left the pub.

Honestly you demeanor just comes off as weird. It would be better if you just asked her out and if she mentions remembering you then you can say you noticed her back then. But don't mention the simulation of her life inside your head.

I will not tell her my method of reasoning until we're in an intimate setting having known each other for a long time, at which point she will have come to understand and appreciate my unique perspective and disposition.

But yes, many people on /r9k/ accused me of being a creep or a weirdo when I posted about her. If I perhaps had friends, a great career, financial wealth and so on perhaps she would be more likely to judge me as a suitable mate, but at the moment by asking her out I feel like I'm just some strange hermit who is hassling her and welcoming her into the dark empty house of my existence. As I said, she dresses in a way that suggests a sincere interest in music, possible grunge or whatever, but she may just be fashionable. But I fear that she has a stable group of hip, adventurous, artistically-inclined "chilled out" friends, including young men, and that she has enough to do with her time (working, perhaps studying etc) to have any interest in dating a lonely, autistic lowly office clerk.

OP here.

If the mods are reading this, I'm willing to be banned but please don't ban me from other boards.

OP here.

I am so f*****g pumped right now. I'll probably crash later but right now I feel like taking a train to her town tonight and seeing if she's at work.

Should I do that? Should I call first (she answered the phone at least once when I was there) and see if she answers? Should I phone several times to see if she answers one of those times?

I imagine there's only one member of staff on duty on weekdays, which makes it unlikely she's there.

how about you send that friend of yours to check the situation?

Just ask her, writing a message is weak male thing. Ive been enjoying reading your thread. flattery asides women will like you if you stand up for yourself and believe in your mores. The ways to catch pussy are always the same. Perhaps if you failed it is for the better of the human gene pool. Btw pussys dont care if youre autism it add some charm. Last sentence, good boy late fuck, bad boy early fuck, balanced man need to get kiss first.

He's not my friend, he's a friend of someone in my family who offered to let me stay for the weekend since I couldn't return to my rented room. He drinks there every Friday I think, but he is unlikely to remember anything, and he was pretty creepy last weekend, obviously looking to get his "d**k wet" with "anything that has a pulse" (as he put it). So I can't expect him either to mention to this girl that I liked her, and if he does he'll probably phrase it in a way that suggested I was just horny or something. Also I'm not close to him and we don't have anything in common really. Nice guy though, don't get me wrong.

Is it autistic if I catch a train from the city to her town a week after seeing her (and not talking to her outside of asking for a beer for the guy I was with) solely for the purpose of asking her out, despite not knowing her name, age, marital status and so on?

do you have anything else to do? if not, see it as an adventure. least you get out of it is a comfy train ride to read and a cold beer instead of shitposting home alone.

>If I perhaps had friends, a great career, financial wealth and so on perhaps she would be more likely to judge me as a suitable mate

I'm not sure that's true. Reminds me of the time a mate of mine who does way far many drugs for anybody's liking told another mate that his girlfriend wouldn't have left him (she didn't leave him but w.e.) if he was pulling 30k a year and walked around with a briefcase. We still have a good laugh about that from time to time.

You can be (YOU) and do just fine in this situation as long as (you) don't let on you hate yourself and that (THEE) stand by your convictions about whatever the fuck it is you're doing.

And good luck.

>obviously looking to get his "d**k wet" with "anything that has a pulse" (as he put it)

Sounds like a pretty easygoing fella

Thank you for your post.

It's just that my convictions are so retarded. In many ways I stand by my convictions, but I often have to quell my instincts / impulses because in the past two years alone I've felt strongly inclined to resigning my job and living in my car in order to dedicate myself to fiction, to take a menial job in a tiny library in the middle of nowhere for the sake of my writing, to buy a house in Eastern Europe and move there to live cheaply for a few years, to write a letter or a valentines card to a girl who worked in a nearby office who I strongly believe was attracted to me before a foreign Arts Chad asked her out and she resigned, and other things that would have just made my life terrible. My temperament is awful. I hide from life and whenever I decide to invest in it I either succeed (good grades, short story win, etc) or I act in a totally unreasonable and non-normal manner. I thought about it today on my way to buy some bread rolls and I realized that I'm very much like the guy from the novel Hunger, locked away in a lonely room and starving for real life (a good job, a girlfriend, status, etc) yet too retarded to achieve it the way well-balanced, sociable, happy, reasonable people are.

He's a nice guy, has a great job and he brought a girl over (who I thought was just a friend) who was around 39 years old and who I thought was attractive and who was attracted to him. I actually must have c**k-blocked him that day because only that night did he reveal that she liked him, and showed me her texts about how she's emotionally confused etc, but he didn't seem that interested in her. I sat there quietly while he told jokes and she giggled and conducted herself in an overly expressive manner (imo).

Oldfag here. When I was around 25 I was kinda depressed and fell for a cute girl with "melancholic eyes", while most girls didn't really interest me.
Your story sounds awfully familiar and it's giving me this shitty "circle of life" feeling where people always fall for the same shit and we barely learn anything.

I don't really like this thread though, it seems generic r9k/dating/narcissistic faggotry.
There's nothing special about your situation and you'll find tons of existing good advice if you want to change it. No need to shit up this board.

OP here. Thanks for the sympathetic tone of your post if not for the rather hostile and dismissive content.

What happened with you and that girl when you were 25? How old are you now?

Do you think I should go there on Friday and ask her out?

Honestly, nothing you say sounds ridiculous. I truly believe that you're probably the type who doesn't appreciate your own convictions - you clearly have them.

I think the danger zone comes when you start to hate others - that never ever sits well with the opposite sex because life isn't Daria.

>Being so poorly socialized and lonely that you think you're in love with a girl just because she looked at you

I fall in love with every girl who looks at me but I'd probably go insane if I fell in love with just one girl who looked at me.

I don't hate others! Everyone has their own problems, however severe and however seriously they take them. And yes you're right, I never trust my convictions, largely because I often become convinced of things are that just plain retarded. Thanks for your post.

It isn't because she looked at me, it's because she looked at me with a look in her eyes that I interpreted as curiosity and perhaps, perhaps romantic desire.

Just do it, do anything really. You'll learn from it and it will strengthen your character no matter the outcome. But do not back out now, nothing good will come out of that and the regret would consume you. Good luck user

DON'T DO IT

Leave the poor girl alone, OP. You obviously aren't fit to have a girlfriend. Stick to Tinder, maybe ask your friend to get you started. But please for the love of god don't embarrass this girl by hitting on her at her workplace.

just do it. this is your one chance to be a protagonist in a cliched romance

England is becoming a shithole full of brown people and all you can think about is MUH DICK.

OP here. I am not sexualizing this girl. The fact I didn't talk to her only goes to prove how anxious I was of being viewed as a creepy drunken patron.

I would do it in person, not the letter

There is a chance that a girl would love the letter

However by being there in person you force the issue. She has to react in some way. With the letter you could be left wondering the rest of your life.

If you cant muster the courage to go in person, you must at least do the letter

You should go in person.

>I am not sexualizing this girl.
Yes you are, unless you just want to be friends with her.

Haywards heath lad

stop sperging out, man.
all you have to do is start by being "the cordial coworker" who "maybe flirts sometimes, i'm not sure!"
and then after a couple weeks, "oh yeah, he does flirt with me!"
into 3rd week, you go to her and ask about her love life.
she'll ask why you wanna know - "well, i was hoping to take you out this saturday. something fancy you know, some place you deserve, and some place that deserves you. *wink*"
she'll blush.
you bow out by saying, "pick you at 7?"

Here's some advice from a man who once wrote a disgustingly sincere and confessional letter to an ex-girlfriend after publicly humiliating himself in front of her while studying at the same small University:

No

The paranoia, regret and self-loathing is not worth it.
Ask her out like a normal person. DO NOT do it in note form

My romantic desire does not preclude erotic intent, I admit, though I don't want to go out with her simply to use her as a means of depositing my semen in a socially-validated space (i.e. a girl's vagina). On the train home from the town I shared a carriage with a group of drunken men who were talking about "shagging" a girl on holiday who had "sand in her gash" and it made me realize just how foul many people are. I want to nurture this girl, I want to support her ambitions, I want to reinforce her sense of self-worth and encourage her to be the best version of herself. I want to walk quietly beside her on a Sunday afternoon while she tells me about her life, and to ask a question about something that she said a few hours previously that makes her suddenly look at me and smile a little to show she's happy that I am really listening to what she says. I want to hold her hand, to hug her, to kiss her, and to do the kind of things you're implying, sure, but thus far I've consider her body from the eyes outwards, not from the "vagina" or breasts at first and then to other areas.

I don't work with her. She lives in a town that is 40 minutes away from the city I live in. I don't usually visit pubs, and I don't drink alcohol. I have zero reasons to visit that town again besides her. I wonder if other people find her beautiful too. She doesn't wear much make-up or act in a noisy and provocative manner.

OP here. I admit that I have previously written a one-page A4 letter to a girl I dated for two weeks, who was very forward (climbed into my bed, talked about "rimjob" and "shitting in the sea" etc) and I posted it through her door after we had drifted apart, wishing her the best in the future. I passed her on the way home from posting the letter but pretended not to see her. She didn't contact me for a while but then spammed me with text messages asking to "catch up" etc. I mean it "worked", I guess. But I won't do it again. I'm a very stupid person.

>I don't work with her.
then in however much capacity you can contact her, it usually shouldn't take the 5th time you are talking to her to suspect some hint of flirting.
everything else remains the same from my previous post.

You're sperging out. You're expending so much energy on a fantasy that could be shattered within 5 minutes of speaking with her if she doesn't meet your expectations.

Get out of your head and go ask her out.

>I want to nurture this girl, I want to support her ambitions, I want to reinforce her sense of self-worth and encourage her to be the best version of herself. I want to walk quietly beside her on a Sunday afternoon while she tells me about her life, and to ask a question about something that she said a few hours previously that makes her suddenly look at me and smile a little to show she's happy that I am really listening to what she says. I want to hold her hand, to hug her, to kiss her, and to do the kind of things you're implying, sure, but thus far I've consider her body from the eyes outwards, not from the "vagina" or breasts at first and then to other areas.

gay