Anyone owned a kitchen beetle before? How do I train him to perform tasks besides carrying ingredients for me...

Anyone owned a kitchen beetle before? How do I train him to perform tasks besides carrying ingredients for me? Can I teach him to watch a pot of water and let me know when it has come to boil?

What have you guys taught your kitchen beetle(s) to help you with?

a watched pot never boils

Teach em to succ it

A beetle isn't capable of consciously understanding the concept of a boiled pot. Instead, it can be conditioned to unthinkingly emit noise upon being exposed to steam. In this way, it isn't actually watching the pot, merely alerting you (again, unconsciously) when it ha sbeyn to boil.

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I have literally thousands of kitchen beetles, brown ones. But they all just run under the fridge whenever I come in the kitchen

you could film them doing random stuff open a yt channel and make money with it. I'm sure enough people will enjoy the [ lol so random le xD meme ]

write this down:

1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tbs paprika
2 tbs black pepper
1 tbs ground mustard

Where did that thing come from? Did it just show up? How'd you train it to carry shit in the first place?

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pupper

seriously tho answer questions

how many times as it pinched you?

>kitchen beetle

2017

thats a big beetle

Jesus, how strong is that little nigga?

if i pull off those elytra will you die?
>it would be extemely painful
you're a big beetle
>UUUU

u uu
u 4

Really joggles the old noggles

is this a jojo reference?

That was a good thread.

U Uu
UU 4

I used to have one until one day the grocery store jester sprinkled kitchen beetle poison on my spaghetti and now he is no more.

Wow! I had no idea they were so strong! The knife is so top heavy, and with a smooth handle too!

damn it. is there a current thread on that person with the beetle? I remember in one thread, they took requests

I love Spike. He's such a cute beetle.

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these pictures were posted some time in the past, you're probably not interacting with the beetle owner in this thread.

Buy a book on how to train kitchen beetles. I trained mine to season my food while I'm making other things.

There was a thread on /an/ like a month ago, he fulfilled one of my requests

Look man you can't just expect the beetle to do this on it's own. You have to help it's intelligence grow first, they're like newborn babies. Buy your beetle a beetle cube and give it to him every night. After three days if you see that your beetle is matching all the colors consistently then he'll be ready to learn more advanced stuff.

Fuck, I wish I had a kitchen beetle.

I seem to recall that model having some quality control issues.

>he doesn't cook food with his familiar

Are you even a wizard?

look at that smug little face

is this the Veeky Forums version of the cinema falcon?

YAMERO

Is there really a cinema falcon? I was going to take my kitchen beetle to the movies, but I don't want him to get eaten.

Don't worry my guy, he'll get shot by the designated cinema marksman long before the falcon gets close.

But look at those numbers!

The cinema falcon is very real.

Your beetle doesn't have anything to fear from the cinema falcon. It does, however, have to worry about the cinema rat. But the rat has to worry about the falcon. So you see its all rather complicated.

Is... Is this loss?

That's a big get

Holy fazolis

Is that a big dog or a tiny house?

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Can a kitchen beetle fend off the grocery store jester if I bring him shopping with me?

The grocery store jester is our friend, he's here to help us

CUTE

Certainly no friend of mine. Last time I was there he was throwing canned chickens at me.

Mine isn't that bad. He replaced my vegetarian baked beans with the bacon ones last time but that was it.

That's literally what it means to understand it's boiling. How do you know it? By observing it mainly, I'm sure you don't understand at all what's happening at a molecular level or why it boils or what does it mean to boil. You're as good as the beetle?

I fucking hate those guys, I was at Costco the other day picking up some alcohol to keep myself from getting withdrawals, and this little faggot kept following me around and laughing at me, giving me the same fucking look the whole time while his gay little bells jingled.


I ended up running back to my car crying and just leaving my shit in the store.

I don't think that's what she was really saying

its a grill

This looks like suboptimal working conditions. I'm gonna call the beetle union.

u u u u

I already got a kitchen crow. Not sure if that goes well with a beetle.