I haven't shit in a week. what are some good poop inducing foods?

>psylium husks
these. add to yoghurt or protein powder and your shits turn out perfect desu.

This, my grandpa died not long ago of a toxic megacolon, get that shit checked out

25 lb bag of sugar free gummy bears.

As anons have said, take in lots of both kind of fiber (Soluble and Non Soluble) and water, add some caffiene. if that doesn't clear you out in a day see a Doctor.

BOTH KINDS OF FIBER ARE IMPORTANT. Non Soluble fiber is your broom, it forms MASS to be pushed out. Soluble fiber SOFTENS the mass so it can move through your tubes. Too much of one without the other will result in either in worse constipation, or jet exhaust diarrhea.

you can get Psylium husk in pill or powder form as well, since it's pretty much all Metamucil/fiber supplements are

yeah magnesium citrate is the answer if you legitimately haven't shit all week. be warned though, you'll be confined to the toilet for 12+ hours, you'll shit pure liquid, and your asshole will be so tender by the end that it'll hurt to wipe. think of how much it hurts to blow your nose towards the end of the worst cold you've ever had and at least multiply that by 2
buy the softest toilet paper you can find

once you've cleared your system you should be more mindful of fiber intake. the two best foods I found for me were oatmeal and oddly enough sunchips. also be more active if you're not. even just going on a walk every day will help, but running daily will help even more.

Sauerkraut

This user has the right idea. A big bag of sauerkraut washed down with plumjuice.

This

Eat nothing but oats for 3 days.

Drink protein shakes made with whole milk. Once a day make one with half a scoop of psyllium husk added in. Have 3 shakes a day.

1 gallon of water a day also.

You'll never shit better, i guarantee it.

get an appointment with the doctor shithead

haha, no it won't.

>Tfw all of the shit never comes out properly so there's a tiny bit that gets stuck in my ass which makes wiping a pain in the ass

It appears to be a recipe for a laxative and dubs.

Are these really that bad?

Hes right though, coffee in general always makes me shit if i havent gone in a while. Cigarettes if i want to be running to the bathroom

For me it's a beer and a cigarette, only thing to keep in mind it doesn't work if you've eaten before.

I had my evening shit earlier on and there were undigested green pieces of lettuce floating in the bowl afterwards.

should I be worried?

big bowl of kimchi

Drink a shot of olive oil. It'll lube the log out.

Orange juice with pulp and a bag of cashews always ruins the toilet later on for me

I want to know, is this meme advice or is this actuall work eoke oeek

Full of sorbitol, artificial sweetener second, laxative first.

>meme advice
>meme
Why does this board attract so many certifiable retards?

Find the black with the biggest BBC you can find and let him fuck you barebacked for hours to end.
Let him cum inside of you so the cum lubes up the shit. Also, drink lots of his cum so it helps lub from the other side.

You'll be shitting like a fountain in no time.

Why did I get a boner? I'm not even gay.

Taco bell

user...

A good spicy curry usually does it for me.

don't become reliant on laxatives

Thinly sliced mushrooms.

If it was 3-4 days a 5mg dose of bisacodyl (Dulcolax) would be a typical suggested treatment - but 7 days could indicate a more serious issue. Seek medical attention.

Fiber passes undigested, as everyone who's eaten sweetcorn will know - if it's occasional it's not a big deal.

Oh heavens, no, it's not mere sorbitol. It's E965(ii), Lycasin 80/55; a hydrogenated syrup of maltitol. Not technically a permitted food additive as such, but they got a waiver if they put a warning on the packet.

Alcohol.

Xtc and/or cocaine does wonders

White Castle is efficient

Dried prunes/apricots. Cheap to buy in stores.

Just eat half a pound of dried apricots. You will shit in half an hour.

Alternatively, since this is summer and wine grape season. If you can find any super market selling the purple kind of wine grape, buy a pound of that and eat them.

Or, again since summer, buy a pound or two cherry. Eat them, and shit.

All of above are natural laxatives, extremely effective natural laxatives. The grapes and apricots will clean your intestine out till you shit only clean water.

I buy medjool dates in bulk and just snack on them because they're so tasty, but God damn are they ever good at cleaning you out. When I'm not shitting I get extremely hot gas that burns my asshole.

To think this could be avoid with a healthy balanced diet..

Plums! Don't you ever heard of them? Now they're cheap too. Eat like 15 of them, drink lots of water and you will be fine. Although it takes a few days it usually helps me.

>Coffee and cigarettes
>Dates
>Oatmeal
>Cabbage/Kale/Leafy Greens

>drink big ass cup of vietnamese coffee
>eat a big bowl of salsa for lunch
>go out for a quick smoke
>take a quick hit
>mfw it feels like a texas flood is trying to break through my asshole

Something with a lot of fiber.
Shots of tequila help clear me out.
A couple handfuls of the sugar free haribos as suggested.
Pint glass of Vietnamese coffee with condensed milk with a large bowl of pho.

Fingers work wonders.

All these replies and nobody has mentioned broccoli? That stuff clears me out nicely after about 24 hours. Eat one or two whole heads of the stuff.

Might be too late for mere "eat something" remedies, though, OP. I'd start with a dose of Milk of Magnesia (or generic equivalent -- magnesium hydroxide solution) and then get checked if that doesn't work within 24 hours.

if you haven't shat in days, just get some glycerol suppositories. now, if you want to avoid having these problems you gotta up your fiber intake as other anons have pointed out. if you want soft shit milled linseed is the easiest way, 2 tablespoons per day is more than enough to make you shit softly. the problem is that the husks tend to chafe your arse if you overdo it so take it easy

Correct.

Prune juice too.

If you still don't shit after that, you may have a severe fecal compaction. Go to the doctor or ER.

This, remedies are for jerks who eat garbage and don't drink enough water. Your gut will punish you.
Eat n sleep regular and the linseed is good but drink plenty water so you don't wipe your asshole off.

Pic related.

BRRRAAAAP BRRRAAAAP BRRRRAAAP BRAAAAAAAP BRRRRAAAPPP

Before you dose on the laxatives, you really need to lube up your asshole good with Preparation H. The vaseline-based type, pretty much petroleum jelly. You want to finger push a good squeeze of it up your ass. Because once you do accomplish a shit, its going to be ass-ripping clumps, followed by acidic squirts laden with corrosive bile. Trust me, you will need this layer of protection.

youtube.com/watch?v=x11sDneLv-0

GOMAD and Bran muffins

Couldn't he just have an enema and let the water loosen the shit up?

topkek

for me it's burger king, the best shit inducing food

Drink a couple bottles of water. You're dehydrated.

I once didn't shit for a full two months (heroin). Went to Walgreens, got some Alcatraz strength stool softener, ate mostly cereal and eventually passed a couple of probably world record-tier logs. These weren't mere turds, these were logs. Both of them at least a foot long and at least 3 inches in diameter. How my anus stretched to accommodate these monstrosities I still ponder to this day. I assume it's similar to when a woman gives birth. The body just does what it has to do.

Magnesium CItratre

...

This. It actually works

This is not mine, but I have done it countless times over the last couple years. I find it best to use a Poise Medium pad instead of the flimsy maxi pads, but either way, Enjoy!

* 4 bananas - not too ripe, but not green either - break each in half
* 1 Kotex pad -- medium absorbencys fine
* 4 liquid fleet susuppositories-

(1) place banana halves in a glass bowl and nuke for 30 secs (optional)

(2) empty two of the fleet liquid suppository applicators onto the banana
halves making sure the tips of each are lightly lubricated

(3) empty the other two applicators up the subs rectum

(4) slip the banana hahalves tip-first into the sub's butt, one at a time
(obviously). This may take a couple of minutes. It is a wonderfully
strange sensation for the sub, so no need to race through this. the first
banana will completely smush up. Push as much as you can in with your
gloved hand. It's weird, but believe it or not, they start to go in easier
and easier. By the 3rd or 4th half, they pop right in. This is why you
start with 8 hahalves. By the last half, you're sub will be incredibly
full.

(5) tightly roll the kotex pad in sleeping bag fashion. sticky plastic
side
inward; cotton side facing out.

(6) wipe up the glass bowl with remaining liquid suppository - if
necessary, pop open another and thoroughly lube it up.

(7) insert the rolled-up kotex into your sub's quivering (and very full)
rectum. If necessary, use your finger to push it all the way in.

(8) tightly diaper your sub and finish it off with snug plastic pants.

Here's what is going on. The sub is obviously incredibly full of very wet,
warm and weighted mush. And the quick-acting suppository is screaming at
the poor sub's bowels "void. Void!". But...as the kotex begins to absorb
the moisture from the bananas, it slowly expands and forms a snug and
incredibly effective plug.

this is an old instructional from a website, but its actually a ton of fun to do if your sub is into it.

any brand in particular? or is it sugar free gummies in general?

>yeah magnesium citrate is the answer if you legitimately haven't shit all week. be warned though, you'll be confined to the toilet for 12+ hours, you'll shit pure liquid, and your asshole will be so tender by the end that it'll hurt to wipe. think of how much it hurts to blow your nose towards the end of the worst cold you've ever had and at least multiply that by 2

Either you were the most clogged up, constipated fatass of all time or you are being extremely hyperbolic. Taking magnesium is absolutely not like this.

The other alternative is that you took way, way, wayyyyy too much.

>Current year, user doesn't have a Toto Washlet
Please be civilised like the rest of the first world.

under cook some chicken breasts. Top it off with some taco bell.

Tons of wheat bran + water

I was a scrawny teenager, but I was incredibly clogged up and if op legitimately hasn't shit all week then so is he
one day I threw up pure stomach acid 7 times over 3 hours with it starting the mustard yellow color you'd expect, being orange the next hour, and being almost red the third hour. went to the hospital, had an x-ray done and my doctor said I was dangerously close to needing surgery to deal with how constipated I was. I had a tube inserted through my nose down to my stomach and I got pumped full of polyethylene glycolelectrolyte (at least that's likely what it was, looking it up 10 years later)
constipation isn't fun. eat your fiber kids
also the times I took magnesium citrate I did exactly what my gastroenterologist told me to do. it was those 10 ounce bottles in liquid form.

Mag Citrate is bowel prep. This is what they use to make you shit your guts out leading up to a colonoscopy. It works.

>make an effort to eat a ton of oats every day
>shit soft shits that are a pain to clean
>give up and return to my regular, fiber-free(almost) diet
>rock solid shits

Ick. this is a cooking board. Just because you use bananas doesn't make this "cooking".

Haribo.
youtube.com/watch?v=_lzU_6PwYR0&t

high concentration pectin fruits like apples or oranges. Also prune juice.

also works

Sugar free gummy bears

>tfw only type 5 stool

This is hell

how are you alive and what does your diet consist of ? Didnt know it was possible to not poop for that long.

I'd almost take asshole rending dry shits over those sticky clay shits

once you shat your pinecone out, start eating more beans/lentils

I shit about 3 or 4 times a day.
I don't know why, I drink alcohol everyday and eat lots of veggies so I think that's what does it.