Can we get some separate CRITIQUE THREADS; this one is poetry, another can be a short story one. It'll make things easier for people to help with things they specialise in.
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Unsown golden seed of hunger while she
Does listen upon the verse and else
Upon the happy thirst of war
Does consume the broad and and praise the lord
While riding to face the breadth of the law
Yet amidst the smoke and fog that hounds
The times of youth that linger in spit
The trifling breed do bread with louts
Sharing tears shed but rarely a-fit
The consecrated sod does trifle the earth
And dense are the lads that foot the shadows
While war is poetry penned by rifleās girth
The land of the living will hardly remiss
And insolence of times ahead keep the line
And law of the land will prosper
In consecrated tears the seed demands
Excavation for another lover fallen
Death be to one as life be to many
Yet the passing fade will lift atop
And humanity perhaps moves to infinite glory
In the minds of those shot
Now is the time for congregation to pause
And congress will rise and fall by our hand
And the sad satan that roams the dark halls
Will rise of the land to answer our call
And evil is subject to those unafraid
Yet objective words will keep us in line
The heaven will hear the call of man
If the scream does lift above the pain but
Else does the words of pain and joy
The spoils of war left to the spoilt
And the living will forget the lesson living
That what each generation finally figured out
Be free to be who you are
Be free my children of art
Be free for the life is tainted