What is unironically the worst book you have ever read?

What is unironically the worst book you have ever read?

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die verwandlung

some british "history of philosophy" that was actually just a bunch of anti-german war propaganda, and i don't mean the one by bertrand russell but a different and shittier one

Your diary desu

the fountainhead

not only was it a bad book, but it also killed my aspiration to become an architect

without doubt or hesitation, dirty job by christopher moore. i suggest you read it because i am a misanthropist at heart.

>Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Stoker is perhaps the poster boy of pseuds.
Regardless of the fact that he was extremely sexually repressed, and perhaps even a latent homosexual, Stoker's real problems are as a result of his projections of these inadequacies and self-loathing onto the character of Dracula, this makes the novel very uncomfortable to read.
The novel essentially comes across as Stoker trying to fight his innermost sexual desires by developing 2D "righteous" men like Van Helsing. I wouldn't be surprised if Stoker was masturbating whilst he wrote the novel honestly.
Furthermore, Stoker's prose is almost vomit-inducing.
The epistolary format comes across as trying too hard.
Not to mention the novel's ending is underwhelming and incredibly contrived.
Wouldn't read again.

Child of Fortune by Norman Spinrad
1000% Literary Diarrhea

The hunger games books

Blood Meridian

The fucking Kite Runner. I hate how popularly it got. I figured "why not?" Jesus Christ .... Spoliers below, but honestly il be saving you the time:
>be rich
>have poor friend
>poor friend gets raped at 4th of July party
>manage a gas station
>childhood bully, whom raped poor friend is now super hot, oh, and also a terrorist
>defeat him in metal gear solid cut scene
>make moms squirt

Atlas Shrugged but I dropped Infinite Jest so I never finished it.

You probably would have been a shit architect if reading a bad book made you quit.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

The Shack. Read it to talk about it with a girl I liked at the time

Seconding this.

How about those fucking Ragnar scenes?

Was he the pirate? I don't remember the book very well but I think he was something like an accelerationist and Ay-I mean Dagny was most in love with him or something.

Came here to post this

He was literally Robin Hood for rich people. This is how she describes him in the book: he rants against Robin Hood stealing from the rich to give to the poor, in a complete abasement of historicity. The first scene in which he appeared was fucking cringey as shit.

Yes, he was the pirate.

A Separate Peace

The Odyssey.

The Quran.

Art of the Deal

fag

On the Road. Kerouac is a self-aggrandising cunt.

I don't know how that book got so popular when people couldn't even describe it for me.
"Uhhhh it's hard to explain."

I thought it was gonna be some ebin road trip book but it reads like a fucking child wrote it.
>The warning sign should've been that his first draft of the book is a literal fucking scroll of hundreds of pages glued together at the top and bottom because he had no patience for putting a new piece of paper into the typewriter every time.

The Bible or Wind Up Bird Chronicle

misc

The sound and the fury. My teacher made us use a permanent marker to black out every single use of the word nigger because they were new copies for our year.

Not even /pol/, but I blame 9/11. It was the westernized trendy soccer mom view of the Middle East. They could stay at home in Columbus and read about how he ate from a fig tree. Meanwhile their kids friends are bombing the hell out of what's left of it.

Even though I love his father, joe hill's nosferatu was pretty bad
I legit didn't feel scared or enthusiastic about anything in that book

>It Was Real in My Mind: A Memoir

Does this have the masturbation death machines?

How long ago did you read it? I remember reading it when I was about 8.

De r Sommer der Gaukler

I'm not somebody who hates YA by default like many people here. I love the Harry Potter books.

But I read Twilight out of curiosity, and it is truly as bad as everyone says it is.

Atlas Shrugged, hands down. Aside from being a way too long, poorly written piece of shit, it also represents a way of thinking that I consider the exact opposite of what I consider noble and ethical. It's literally the description of a world run by a 15 year old /pol/ack.

>and then I will have a 6 hour speech on how caring for others is, like, literally a crime. And I will qoute Nietsy, but I will brilliantly explain how I'm way better and way more redpilled than Nietsy and everyone will applaud for 5 hours and my utopian country will prosper, like, forever

I mean seriously, how the fuck did this shit get published in the first place

I think that Ayn Rand only breaks the most noble of spirits, and encourages the very worst, tbqh.

Your teacher is a despicable kike.

some say that there is no such thing as a bad book, only bad readers

Haven't read any YA books since my teens, but I fondly remember many of them. "The Book of the Crow" series in particular - they were quite immersive and had good world building considering their short length.

Bad readers can make bad books.

The 50th Gate
Mandatory in New South Wales
Flared up antisemitism

Just made me lose respect for Middle Easterners

White people are frustrating (from someone mildly white nationalist)

Beyond Good & Evil is up there

Just went "wrong" the whole time

Edith Wharton's Ethan Frome is fucking trash.

I would have a conference with my kids teacher if they did that.

The Fall of Hyperion. Second worst book was Hyperion.

lightpaths, by Howard V Hendrix.

claims to be cyberpunk, but twice in the book the plot comes to a complete halt as two women get into a knock-down claws-out screaming bitch-fight. each fight goes on for several pages, and you can almost see the author typing with one hand as he wrote it.

still can't remember what the book was about.

A nice opportunity to also black out a lot of words that aren't nigger.

>The sound and the fury. My teacher made us use a permanent marker to black out every single use of the word nigger because they were new copies for our year.
It's not a bad book, but I can see how that would make anyone hate it, lmao.

The Heart of Darkness.

1984 was incredibly cringey

i mean, i was in high school when i tried to read it

I deeply hope that you aren't referring to Copleston

Some YA novel, or infinite jest if we're talking about more serious literature

50 or so pages and I still can't bring myself to finish it. What a pile of crap. Apocalypse Now was actually good though, what happened?

The bible.

I mean, it's hard to say really. Naming any well-known book is the easy way out (while being knowingly a bit less than sincere), naming a shitty, obscure, often self published "book" is probably more objective but ininfluent to any worthwhile conversation on literary merit.

My vote, therefore, goes to the later books of the Drizzt saga - while it is, as a whole, a crock of shit, the first books at least managed to portray a (very) mildly interesting/different fantasy world. After the first trilogy, you're left with a bunch of power fantasies, half-assed romance and drearily standard "heroic fantasy" hitting-people-with-pointed-sticks.

How so?
I've been meaning to read her works recently.

the alchemist

completely uneventful AND it has the stupidest, most hamfisted moral lesson I've ever seen.

Animal Farm.

It's a children's fable, yet we were supposed to read it in high school.

Yeah, because you were still children

It couldve been half the length but it had interesting concepts

Lol its an allegory for communism vs captialism, you werent meant to take it literally.
With that in mind, you shouldnt force children to read it and expect them to see anything other than animals on a farm

Books I've seen read by pseud men who truly believe they have superior intellect and taste, and who listen to music like Disturbed or Syndrome of a Down:
>Dracula
>Frankenstein
>Brothers Grimm
>Dante's Inferno (just that one)
>Alice in Wonderland

Fables are allegoric by nature. Yet children still read Aesop or Jean de la Fontaine.

Fair enough but i think my point stands, you cant make high schoolers read it and expect them to see more than just animals on a farm

kys

dave eggers the circle
>what is show dont tell
>what is withholding information from the reader
>what are three dimensional characters
>stilted diolouge hamfisted metaphors
> haha dystopian is in lemme milk this cow real quick
>this spring staring emma watson and tom hanks

actual worst book was some drivel written by my lit professor at community college, but probably like 100 people have read it ever

among books people actually know I'd say the worst was twilight. read it in high school at the height of its popularity to see what all the fuss was about and it was as shit as I expected

Sleepless nights by Elizabeth Hardwick

My novel

...

This piece of toilet.

books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_Granny_Knap.html?id=Nt47AQAACAAJ&redir_esc=y

I had to read it for a school project when I was 13 and my brain rebelled. It was torture. I already smashing Shakespeare at that age, and I hated school for making me read this retarded drivel

50 Shades of Grief. Just fucking horrific.

Norwegian Wood

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Cmon that can't be true

I don't finish books I don't like. Why would anyone?

What's wrong with that book? Besides all the gay subplots.

agreed

If you took out all the gay subplots you'd have a short but well-written episode of the Twilight Zone.

Walden.

I went in expecting to read about a guy that abandoned civilization, just to find a guy who spent a measly 2 years just outside of a major city with a small garden. His story is hailed as deep, but it's essentially the story of someone who parked a trailer on a 1 acre lot on a side road.

I actually hate you. You are everything that is wrong with this board. You don't like literature--you don't even understand it. Walden is an absolute masterpiece and is filled with very deep, profound thought. If Thoreau didn't leave Walden pond when he did, he would have betrayed everything that he believed in.

It's cool that you can deduce everything I know and enjoy about literature because one particular book wasn't my thing. Nothing he said was new. Literally every single "deep thought" he expressed had been covered by philosophers centuries past. I'm sorry I shit on your "masterpiece". Maybe you need thicker skin, or to read more.

I can deduce all you know about literature because you literally did not understand anything at all about a great work of literature. There were a lot of things he said that were new: he was at the forefront of the Transcendentalism movement. In fact, he even inspired Gandhi and plenty of other great people. The fact that you don't even understand why he went to Walden Pond and then left shows me how much of a pseud you are. He even outright states it in the last chapter, in case you were too retarded to grasp the concept throughout the rest of the book.

>getting this butthurt on the internet

This is why you're still a virgin, user.

>This is why you're still a Virgin
I have a fiance, so i'm not too sure how that one is possible. But it's nice to see that instead of forming a good argument, you have to resort to the virgin insult, like that's something that actually matters.

I'd get just as mad in real life if some autist started sharing his pseud opinion on a classic that I love.

He says nothing that wasn't covered by Diogenes. The book simply didn't engage me. Many other authors do. Again, sorry I triggered you. Spend a few minutes in your safe space, and then realize that not everyone agrees with you or Thoreau, and that it's going to be okay. We could have had a decent debate. But no, you jumped in immediately with ad hominem attacks. You might have even swayed me to re-read it. But now I just further associate it with "deep" pseuds.

the lord of the rings

End of Alice. What a shitty Lolita knock off.

We could have had a decent debate if you hadn't started off so hostile in the first place. It didn't even seem like you had any desire to attempt to understand the work, so I didn't care to help you understand. I don't necessarily agree with Thoreau either, but I still appreciate his deep thought and sincerity in everything that he did.

He left Walden Pond for the same reason that he went there: he wanted to live life deliberately, and experience everything the world has to offer, in a way that he finds every breath and movement to be new and exhilarating. Each season is represented in the book, starting in spring and then ending in spring, which brings the book and his experience full circle; he had experienced every season that Walden pond had--everything that it had to offer, and he found that the days had become routine and easy, that his footsteps had created a road to and from his cabin. If he had stayed at Walden Pond, it would have been no different from him not going to Walden Pond to begin with. The point to him wasn't how long he stayed, but that he did it to begin with. And his ultimate purpose was to become one with the cycle of season and nature at Walden pond, in an effort to transcend to a higher spirituality. He subtly equates the Pond to God and heaven plenty of times throughout the book, and it's no accident.

what is this

And you wrongly assumed that I didn't get the point. But to me, it was simply a book of self discovery that bored me. It came off as no deeper than Paulson's Hatchet (required reading in my youth). It was ground that I have treaded before, and thus I found it uninteresting. If I'm going to read a book about someone's personal journey, I'd like to also be entertained by it. I actually have some desire to live a quiet and largely self-sufficient life. I finally decided to read it because a friend of mine who has done exactly this cited the book as his inspiration. To me it was just rehashes of many concepts I already understood either instinctively or through philosophical reading. Maybe it's just a case of expecting one thing and getting another. Either way, to me it was just incredibly dull. This is coming from someone who regularly reads philosophy and history.

I'll give you that I was a little hostile. To be fair, it's one of the worst experiences I've had in literature. I genuinely disliked it. That's not easy for me. I tend to put myself in an author's head, and find something I relate to in whatever I read. In this case, I was bored rather than engaged. It felt more like a lecture on basic philosophical concepts.

Fuck off user
Walden is not that good,at least not good enough to have a fucking bitchfit on a Sudanese apple picking chat room
Jesus fuck

kys nigga

Probably 50 shades or one of the twilight books
Atlas shrugged was pretty poorly written and rambling too

Probably Therese Raquin; I felt a violent antipathy towards the 'naturalism' proposed by the author.

Why didn't you like it? Also, have you read "Age of Innocence"? I thought it was one of the best book i'd ever read.