Realistically, how do men and women fall in love respectively?

Realistically, how do men and women fall in love respectively?
Men supposedly feel fall in love sooner being more visual than women, but women fall in love harder and for less superficial reasons? Is this correct, what else

Love is overrated

> women
> fall in love harder
> less superficial reasons

Weeeeew lad confirmed for not being around women

This is the sjw type shit they teach you in psychology now.

Asking for outside opinions on a romance novel I'm trying to make hypothetically "realistic".

Not to sound like a fedora but the best way to learn about women is to spend time around them/sleep with them.

I used to be a steroid using chad who got plenty of pussy and it turned me off women completely. The shit I've seen has convinced me that women are only good for sex/superficial dating. Inb4 someone says I'm lying.

Any man who has had experience will echo my sentiments, women are for sex, dogs/close male friends are for companionship.

Hate to be that guy but you need to define love op when speaking in such terms

Your reaction is just based on what happened to you. From what I've seen in life, the love thing is propagated by people who met their partner early in life and later settled with the same partner. These things exist. And they probably are the truest form of love. To say that it doesn't would be a lie. But in most circumstances your perspective becomes true. Most people fail at love, they just go on looking for the next thing, slowly losing what shreds of romanticism they have left. But love does exist, just grab at it early. Otherwise pragmatism will get in the way

Nah, I've fucked many a girl who had been dating their BF since early hs and were planning on marrying/married to him. Love is a lie, it doesn't exist for women in the same way that it does for men. A woman's love is always conditional, unlike many men I have seen.

Modern women are mostly trash, I've yet to meet a quality woman outside one girl who I met uni who was a recent immigrant from Gabon. Unfortunately she was both homely and black, and as I don't believe in race mixing she was an unsuitable partner for myself.

I'm pretty sure superficiality is a function of the culture with live in and the insane narcissism implicit in social media.

love is delusional for both men and women
and men and women love differently

The difference between how men and women fall in love is rooted in physiological differences between them. Ideally, in a state of nature, with all the social and individual factors stripped away, a man would want to impregnate as many women as he can while a woman would want to have sex with the most alpha man she can find. This is not a conscious decision, this is coded in people's "instincts", therefore, even though we mostly don't have sex for reproduction, this essential difference still manifests itself obliquely. That being said, these "essential" differences shouldn't matter much to a novelist. The social factors affecting an individual's makeup are much more important.

>love is delusional

Sure is. I've never been more insane the 2 years I was with my ex. Pretty sure I have PTSD because of it.

I mean all the logical fallacies in your posts speak for themselves. I was not being ironic my brother. There are people who meet in adolescence and go on to get married. They may have trysts here and there but they hold on to the memory of youth: that is the closest thing to love that I know. Perhaps you are right though and they are all secretly having innteracial KEK sessions with others, which imo would invalidate their love - but even that would be a gross misprojection on my part that I do not have the confidence to take. Luckily there is you

Women fall in love for the weirdest reasons.

Most of the time if you have sex with a girl and you're a little bit nice to her/make it seem like you care about her/ she'll run with it in an overblown way.

If you want to understand how girls feel just imagine the same person but 10x more insecure and you're in the ballpark.

> they may have trysts here and there

That's exactly my point. Women aren't capable of the same form of " love " as men are, as loyalty is an instrinsically different concept in the context of a woman's emotions compared to a mans. If you want to call that love, go ahead, but in my mind, it isn't love, and I wager that in OP's and in most men's minds and hearts that wouldn't be considered love.

Love is a way to sell products and experiences in the modern age. There is no societal pressure to be true to your partner anymore, we are nearing the last days of Rome.

Nigga plz you expect absolute devotion? You call that love? I would wager the opposite, that no love could be called true until tested by meaty big black cock.

Love isn't something physiological. Look into into it's history, etymology. If literature can get away with anything, it's giving birth to the notion of love. I suggest love and eroticism by the spic pAZ. You don't have to agree with it because it sure as fuck is not natural, but it exists.

>women fall in love harder and for less superficial reasons
>fall in love harder
>fall in love
>less superficial reasons
No.

> absolute devotion

Where did I say that? I'm implying that if your girl is sucking some guys dick it isn't love. Is it too much to expect physical fidelity now? I know you can't control your emotions but you can control your actions

People wander man. Would you agree that to truly know love it would be needed to be tested? Or would the mere action of your partner doing anything with anyone else throw you off? I'd say there's nothing healthier than both sides getting some BBC real quick outta the way

You're either a cuck or a troll, either way, go read some J.K Rowling you queer

Continued, what I think you're mixing up is the physiological with the illogical. Once again, love is one of literatures greatest creations - there is nothing natural about it, but we sure as hell have written about it

Did you come from /fitlit/

What's fitlit? No I haven't. I used to roid but I haven't in over 1.5 years, haven't been to the gym since internalizing that women are trash, just strongfat now instead of shredded.

Spend most of my free time reading, playing poker or drinking with friends now a days.

Degen life is best life

Bro then, like I said, there's nothing natural about love - you're looking at it the wrong way. Hell, I could agree that love itself does not actually exist, but literature has made it exist. I guess that's why it's so hard to encapsulate. But idk man, just read up on the history of the word love - it's been shifted and changed throughout the times and will probably continue to do so. Hell, your definition of it might win out in the end

One girl who was my friend broke up with his boyfriend, (Who is an actual friend).She cried a lot, and because of my fame of being a heartless man, she uses me as a tears tissue.
At some point she told me that she broke up because he wasn't the same person which she falls in love.
>Persons change (especialy if his father have depression)
>She never told him the reason of the break

That depends on how you define natural. Love was traditionally defined more as a way to define family bonding. Duty was more important than emotion, I don't describe it in the literary sense of feelings.

In the present day we are in an age of hedonism in which duty has evaporated in all but the highest social circles, emotional love is immature and fleeting and isn't a good thing to base pair bonding on either. So we are in a very bad spot for coupling in the present day.

>Wow people have agency, the post

Na man, love had nothing to do with family. Socrates said his shit but the poets were the ones spreading the word, that being pure lust at first

Maybe it's correct some of the time. Exceptions abound.

If you wanna go full crystal blue persuasion pua pill about it, men tend to rationalize their love, women tend to follow their feels on the matter. Both can be equally superficial.

Love has everything to do with the family, the only thing many people truly end up loving in their lives is their children.

But I guess you "not defining it in a literally sense" speaks volumes.

You're looking for your own definition, which works for you

Love is a flip side of eroticism. You wanna call that shit with your kids? There are different types of love man, you know which is being talked about here

Well love in a literary sense doesn't exist past a few weeks of interaction. Burning passion always fizzles out and is by its nature fleeting.

You'd know if you ever felt love that it is far more than passion/eroticism. Once you truly love a woman and begin to view her like family you'll understand. Although I don't recommend it, the fall isn't worth the ascent.

I did not intend for this to happen

Love: when two people, a man & a woman, love each other very much and want to devote themselves to each other.

If I really just wanted to sleep around, I think I would've done that by now. I'm a 21 year old virgin. I plan on staying that way until I find someone consenting I'd like to have kids with.

Yes, I idealize love a tad. Thats why I'm writing a romance novel. Though it'll be different from most, if not all of them.

If you're male and not extremely religious then chances are you simply couldn't get laid. Don't sugarcoat your failure and romanticize/fantasize over something that doesn't exist.

Unless you court some 16 year old girl you aren't going to find a virgin to marry, such is the state of modern women.

That came out too harsh. I don't mean to attack your views, but you are very naive, life is going to chew you up and spit you out if you don't straighten up. Women can be ruthless.

Not that user but I don't think he's innately wrong, even if he may be naive. Naivety is only a weakness if a person can't survive the consequence of their idealism.

Honestly ... "falling in love" is kind of an immature thing to do. I'm not being a soulless curmudgeon, I'm just saying people who idealize romantic love are dumbasses and got fooled by pop culture, also the old thread of romance that runs through Western culture, the chivalrous knight and all that.

For instance, in the Orient, there aren't such over-romantic notions of love and the lovers.

Love is a great thing. But "falling in love" is for children and perhaps teenagers, also for people who didn't get loved enough by parents of the opposite sex.

This indeed.
however in love a girl claim to be with a man, there will always another man eager to try to satisfy in her for free and she will be happy about being given harmless fun.

This desu, if you are a good lover and spend some time talking and cuddling in the end, they fall in love with you.

As a point of disagreement, I would say shared suffering or burdens makes you companions. Me and my girl had a miscarriage and it made us much closer, and when we moved in together and were trying to "make it" from poverty it def cemented us.

thats /r9k/ bullshit, if you are dating inside your church there is a high virgin chance. Go look on reddits vaginismus board i like stories of suffering i have not experienced, the story is always the same.

>religious upbringing
>fuck on wedding night
>insane pain

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okay

T R I G G E R R D

"love" is a nonsense word.

People like to fuck. If you honest with the people you fuck about what you want, what you think, and how you feel, things are much simpler. Sometimes, you like each other. Sometimes, years go by, and you both decide "Hey you know what, we should stick together because shit's generally better with you around."

That's it.

I know women can be shit. Men can be shit, too. People can be shit. But I'm a nice boy. So hypothetically, there should be a nice girl out there, too.

I don't always bait
But when I do

I'm not a real partaker of pop culture. Tv doesn't even exist to me.
Is it immature to find someone special and develop mutuality for each other after spending a lot of time together?

It's immature and pop cultury to find someone special, spend time together, and develop feelings for one another.
Apparently.

yes it is
nobody is special, besides their unique properties (for instance their spatio-temporal properties)

otherwise most properties that people ascribe to others are found elsewhere, it is unwise to doubt this. For example, i like red hair, then if girl A has red hair, most likely there is also a girl B with red hair - this is a heuristic that grossly works

what i am saying is that persons are simply composites of properties, most of the essential ones can be replicated in another person. beliefs, appearance, intelligence, talents ? you can find them in another person, although you probably wont find the totality of what you were expecting, you can find some satisfying similarities. Memories can be transmitted. this night on the bridge with your beloved, you can explain it to your newly found gf while inducing the appropriate emotions: in effect this would be tantamount to have spent this night with her

nobody is special, everything can be replaced

Women are VERY superficial and shallow dude, as is the general person you come across.