A young, fresh and cherry STEM student walks into the halls of a sterile English department with his head held high...

A young, fresh and cherry STEM student walks into the halls of a sterile English department with his head held high. Stern and with a proud heave, he bellows through the cavern at the beanie-sporters scattered through the hall:

" WHAT WOULD YOU RATHER STUDY, HEATHENS? "

Seven fragrant dreadlocked beards spew coffee from their continental gullets. Free-range hens shuffle out a window somewhere.

" WORDS ON A PAGE OR THE FUCKING COSMOS? "

An emergency evacuation is called. Afghan clogs stuff the exit. Native tears are shed. A triad of cauldrons full to brim with boiling kamquat loose their bellies with a fever on the frantic patrons all around. The shelves are raided. Looters stuffing oriental knapsacks leave no kitsch untouched.

From the roaring depths of chaos in the halls, through sheets of stirring fire: calm and rigid comes up looming in the haze a stoic English professor, tailored suit to keen perfection, forty thousand pages full of Marx and further reading in an unstained palm.

Expressionless, with firm phenomenologic hold on mind and body, he whispers to the STEM student, currently engaged in evil laughter:

" What would you rather study, child? "

The student is hushed. Voiceless. The man has snared his subjectivity entirely.

" Nature - or the nature of nature? "

Of an instant all the place is silent. In the corner, captive underneath the groins of several existential theists, one brave soul begins to clap. Soon the place is flooded with cheer.

The next day, all sciences were cancelled nationwide. The shells of disenfranchised rockets sheltered lonely bohemians everywhere. All was well.

2/10 for effort, but your biggest mistake was that the intelligent person in the story read Marx

My old man thinks humanities professors have explicit bias against engineering students. He went to school in the 80's and he tells me he always felt like humanities professors could zero right in on the cocky engineers (like himself) who were going to be well-off after college and consciously decided to "put them in their place".
Is he just crazy

The truth is that if you're a smug dickhead who thinks you're too good for a professor's course that professor is probably not going to like you

A young, shy and akward STEM student walks hesitantly into the halls of an English department, looking down on the floor afraid to make eye contact. Unsure and with a mutter, he asks through the cavern at the students scattered through the hall:

" What would you rather study?"

The Room is silent with people reading or deep in conversation with their fellow peers.

" What would you rather study!" he yells a little louder mustering ever ounce of courage

Someone yells back

"Fuck off faggot"

A group of girls sitting together at a table start to giggle at you like the fool you are.

And so you shuffle back to your dorm and complain about Humanities students on Veeky Forums.

Is this why you made this post OP?

Did you even manage to read the whole OP?

Do the Bogs control Lubosh, or does Lubosh control the Bogs?

Not that guy, but I gave up about halfway through the 5th clause. Why would I waste my time with retarded drivel?

He is their young padawan before the bongification

You obviously posted in this thread, so you're already wasting your time, you just lack the attention span to read more than two sentences at a time, brainlet.