Brain teaser time... prove you aren't a brainlett

>Literally just don't tell anyone

but what if they figure it out on their own?

You can't.
By definition if a secret is kept then it can be accessed in some way.
It can thus be leaked in the same way.

Remember... Zero percent.

>You can't.
>By definition if a secret is kept then it can be accessed in some way.
>It can thus be leaked in the same way.

correct... so how do you keep a secret with zero percent chance of anyone finding out?

>faggot thinks he's smart and witty because he saw some unfunny trick on TV, which he doesn't even fully understand
Delete this thread you waste of space, because there is no answer to your question and I bet you my mind that when you post the "answer" there are going to be dozen things wrong.

That's irrelevant to secrecy. You don't try to keep anything secret that's public knowledge anyway.

You kill yourself right after you hear it.

It is true. Now kys

>That's irrelevant to secrecy.

is it?

>You don't try to keep anything secret that's public knowledge anyway.

>You don't

who doesn't?

I'm not asking you what would be reasonable, or humane, or whatever...

I'm asking you how to keep a secret 100% of the time, with ZERO percent chance of anyone finding out.

>You kill yourself right after you hear it.

that's partially true, but that doesn't answer the question of how to keep a secret 100% of the time.

someone else might find out, or discover it, or learn it on their own, or deduce it from first principle, or what have you....

Looking for an answer that means a ZERO percent chance of the secret being revealed.

>someone finds a mountain
>HEY GUYS MOUNTAINS EXIST
>fuck that was supposed to be secret

Wrong, brainlet. The act of successfully keeping a secret is entirely dependent on me. If originator of the secret fucks up it is not my fault and it does not mean I failed to keep the secret. But even killing yourself isn't 0% because with enough technology perhaps they could retrieve memories and even if you turn your brain to mush with enough technology (((they))) might still be able to reconstruct it. So it can never be 0% but you should kys anyway

>>someone finds a mountain
>>HEY GUYS MOUNTAINS EXIST
>>fuck that was supposed to be secret

exactly...

so how do you keep a secret with zero percent chance of anyone finding out?

>The act of successfully keeping a secret is entirely dependent on me.

can you guarantee that you will, 100% of the time, keep the secret?

Can you guarantee that it will NEVER come to light?

Can you guarantee that no one else will discover it on their own, without it even being leaked?

Zero percent chance, guys...

>If originator of the secret fucks up it is not my fault and it does not mean I failed to keep the secret.

That's irrelevant.... The mission statement is making sure no one else knows the secret.

>But even killing yourself isn't 0% because with enough technology perhaps they could retrieve memories and even if you turn your brain to mush with enough technology (((they))) might still be able to reconstruct it.

correct.

>So it can never be 0%

But we can still approach 0%, right?

I bet the answer to OP's retarded trick question is some semantical gotcha shit.

>I bet the answer to OP's retarded trick question is some semantical gotcha shit.

No, the question has already been answered in this thread.

Keeping a secret implies knowing the secret which implies that it can't possibly be 0% ever. QED

>But we can still approach 0%, right?

Not smoothly enough to allow some lim inf bullshit.

Though on a long enough timescale *everything* is a "secret" because it can't remain coherence in the face of universal heat death.

Only answer is to kill everyone and everything the moment you learn the 'secret'.

Brainless setup this.

Why is OP such a fucking retard?

Yeah we know OP's a ginormous faggot.

More pertinent to me is does nobody here know how to sage ffs?

>Keeping a secret implies knowing the secret which implies that it can't possibly be 0% ever. QED

Precisely... so the only way to successfully keep a secret is to destroy all sentience in the entire universe.

And then destroy the universe.

>Not smoothly enough to allow some lim inf bullshit.

You seem to be missing my point...

I'm not asking you if you THINK it's possible... I'm asking you how one would go about the attempt.

>Though on a long enough timescale *everything* is a "secret" because it can't remain coherence in the face of universal heat death.

But the secret needs to be kept on the short term as well, and further risk of the secret getting out must also be reduced.

>Only answer is to kill everyone and everything the moment you learn the 'secret'.

I keep telling you, that's not good enough.

only the destruction of the entire universe can satisfy the demands of secrecy to 100%.

>Precisely... so the only way to successfully keep a secret is to destroy all sentience in the entire universe. And then destroy the universe.
And since we aren't 100% certain that we won't get a new universe and be able to simulate this one up until the secret is told it isn't 0%

>And since we aren't 100% certain that we won't get a new universe and be able to simulate this one up until the secret is told it isn't 0%

exactly.

Massive faggotry. You have 0% chance of doing that.

Unless, maybe - just maybe - you believe in the personalised coherence of the observed universe being linked to an individual brain interpretation of Many Worlds QM theory. In which case kill yourself. Kill yourself is both the answer and the recommendation.

just kys op then you will have 0% chance of finding out weather or not they find out the secret

So you admit there's no satisfactory answer to your question.

>Kill yourself is both the answer and the recommendation.

but that wouldn't stop the secret from existing would it?

>So you admit there's no satisfactory answer to your question.

Only an approach... which is to destroy everything that exists, everywhere, for all time.

of course op dosn't respond to my post destroying this logic

Yes it would, if the agent that collapses the universes' wavefunction to the universe which contains the secret is (you).

Barring that you have no chance of "delet Universe", which is in turn your only chance of making zero chance of secret propagation.

So your best chance is to kill yourself. Pls do.

>of course op dosn't respond to my post destroying this logic

You didn't destroy my logic, you agreed with me.

>So your best chance is to kill yourself. Pls do.

I'm not the one trying to keep the secret, you bonehead.

Fuck you destiny, you manlett brainlett.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.

youtube.com/watch?v=vbo7GJzgCN4

You have no mechanism by which you can delet universe. That means your "0% chance" solution does not exist dumbass.

Exception being, a fringe solipsistic interpretation of QM. You go, universe goes.

The latter has a nonzero - if infinitesimal -chance of working. The former, none. So take the kys option.

>You have no mechanism by which you can delet universe.

yet.

Hey, have you ever seen one of these?

So your solution doesn't exist. ""Yet"" humbug.

m a g i c

>So your solution doesn't exist. ""Yet"" humbug.

that's a cute picture, here's one for you!

i mean you could just not do things that are secretive

Dont put the secret information anywhere not secure

If we are using such generic terminology, then a secret is kept if it is given to a trusted party.

Trusted special definition:
adj. a thing which conforms to a policy which guarantees zero probability of the secret being "Leaked".

burn the secret
give yourself brain damage

>prove you aren't a brainlet
That would be a paradox

Make up a long ass convoluted password for some site you will never use.

Don't enter the password. Only you know the password.

Never use the password. Smoke some weed.

Try to remember the password? Right, so was it my girlfriends's middle name, back to front, with the numbers 6 and 3 substituted for the vowels, followed by the last three digits of the phone number on my old mobile phone, followed by the name of my second dog with the number 15 tagged on the end?

Or was the password my girlfriend's mothers maiden name with a "g" added to the front and then followed by the reverse order of my grand parents dates of birth with the letters of my father's place of birth, minus the first and last letters, added to the back?

FUCK!

I dont see the problem here.

>assume that quantum immortality is true
>generate a random string of characters using a quantum number generator
>use that as a password
>kill yourself if access denied
>the only living version of you will be the one who got the password right
>profit
or not, there might still a version of you who never tried to do this stupid challenge. quantum immortality is retarded

encryption
send a box with a lock on it
the other person puts their own lock on it
They send it back to you
You unlock your lock and send it back
They unlock their own lock with their private key
I think this is private key encryption

Everyone in this thread is fucking morons.
The answer is to make the secret not a secret anymore it can't be "leaked" if everyone knows about it.

Tell the secret to a known liar.

When he is being asked about the secret
- either he will lie, and thus not leak it
- or he will tell the truth, but everyone believes it to be a lie, so nobody accepts his answer.

Literally impossible. You said no "one" is able to know it. No "one". So no entity in all the multiverse is allowed know the secret. That's impossible because some entity must conceive the secret in the first place, and will therefore, know the secret

What if the many worlds interpretation is true and someone learned the secret in another universe?
Also, shit thread OP.

Perfectly determine a thing that has a very large quantum commutator with the secret, uncertainty principle will handle the rest

destroy the universe, duh
oh wait

You can't, it is impossible to get a 0% probability of anything except logical fallacies

>flat earth thread gets deleted
>this cancer remains on the front fucking page
i wish every m*d on this god-forsaken website would die a slow and painful death

To prevent secret being leaked you must destroy the secret.
If secret = x, then you delete it. Then, even if you tell others about x they will still get empty value since a is empty.
Depending on what secret is you may use different methods. If x is a thing, you have destroy it and any possible reference, if x is concept or word things will become harder since you will have to erase that concept from entire reference so nobody will be able to come up with that.

well fuck, got to admit you got me good there.

Obviously then the trick is never to have any secrets in the first place.

Yes

>what denotes a secret
Youre a faggot

Swallow cyanide. Problem solved. No idea why this was a brain teaser its blatantly obvious

>Kill yourself before you can leak
>Forget about the secret
>Tell everyone about it. You can't leak an empty container

Destroy the Universe.

contradictory question

it has already been leaked to yourself which means its not a secret anymore and therefore its absurd to ask how one might stop it being leaked

le math error

If it doesn't matter, then let the secret be me thinking of a number, and you finding out the number. To escape discovery, I don't think of it until I'm beyond the event horizon of a black hole. As long as you don't count blindly guessing correctly as knowing the secret, I'm good.

you tell everyone the secret, it can't be leaked if everyone already knows.

get outsmarted brainlet

destroy the secret and everyone who knows it.

destroy everyone who is able to comprehend the secret (right now or in future).

dropping the secret into a black hole,
the information is lost forever